So with the influx of asks about mistletoe kisses, @saintlyguy has
constructed this wonderful masterpiece to appease all you little Fallout elves…so
give the guy some lovin and enjoy his work!
P.S. I love what you did
with Cait and Piper’s, I needed something to smile about today and that most
certainly did the trick so thanks again man <3
Ada: Our cyan painted bot has little exposition to what good is
left in the Commonwealth. Mostly she’s witnessed heinous acts; murder, theft
and downright anarchy. She’s unfamiliar with simple joys like sunsets and
stargazing, so culture shock was an understatement when she discovered the
holidays. Christmas, Kwanza, New Years and whatnot; this bot was going to get
in on this “holly” and “jolly” with Sole’s help. They were
fine painting her with candycane stripes and equipping her with an eggnog
dispenser, but they wouldn’t stop giggling while tying a leaf to her antennae. “What’s
this?” Apparently this plant requires people to kiss when undernea-
ERROR 404 CAN’T PROPERLY
PROCESS JOY! WINDOWS IS SHUTTING DOWN!
Cait: When she first opened up to Tamara about her parents, Cait
knew she was special. When the same vault dweller saved her from psycho, she fell
in love. So you can tell how much it meant to her when the two hooked up. Hand
holding, kissing, love making and sharing everything. It was December and
Tamara shared her Holiday traditions from pre-war: gift giving, eggnog and the such.
But the one thing that caught Cait’s attention was the mistletoe: a plant that
forces you to kiss somebody? I-D-E-A. On Christmas Morning, Tamara woke up
alone to find a red ribbon trailing out of her room. She followed it to find
Cait wrapped in the very same ribbon and nothing else under the mistletoe. With
a single finger, Cait got Tamara on her quick. The two embraced in deep French
Kiss. Cait pulled back, grabbed the mistletoe and placed it between her legs.
“Why don’t you show me those Australian Kisses I love? C'mon, the
mistletoe is right there.”
Curie: The holidays were the only times la demoiselle was happy
during her time as a Ms.Nanny in Vault 88. She cherished traditions such as
Secret Santa and yelling around the Festivus Pole. Oh yes the scientist was
able to take part in such festivities despite lacking an organic body. All
except for the mistletoe. Curie was envious of her fellow scientists for being
able to actually live and breathe. She was even more jealous of the simple
pleasures of emotions and exchanging feelings. Now with new flesh and a friend
who’s willing to stand by her, Curie clipped a mistletoe into her hair then
went to find Sole. Approaching the vault dweller, Curie gave an attention
seeking yoo-hoo; Sole spotted the mistletoe and giggled. “Couldn’t wait
for me to set one up cou-” Sole was silenced by Curie’s smooth and sweet
lips on their’s. Oooooh… tongue.
Codsworth: The faithful servant only was only able to celebrate one
Christmas with Sole and their family before the bombs. He could remember the
joyous atmosphere having Sole’s parents, siblings, cousins and even their
in-laws(!) over for a party. It was that same party, Codsworth was able to see
Sole’s romantic side; catching them, as kid would describe “making
out” underneath a mistletoe. Now its 200+ years later and the pre-war pair
are keeping the holidays alive! Sole went out looking for wrapping paper while
Codsworth decorated their house. As Codsworth went to hang a plastic mistletoe
under an arch, he felt the warm embrace of his master’s lips on his optic.
*sigh* Truly there’s no place like home for the holidays. And home is with
Danse: Soldier boy has only seen the holidays as an opportunity to increase
morale amongst the Brotherhood. It’s nice and he’s always appreciated the
traditions the scribes would share, like the Fruitcake and the Dradle. The one
tradition that stood out was the mistletoe; Danse couldn’t believe how many
soldiers tried to get a kiss from Captain Kells and Proctor Ingram, only to get
swollen lips instead of receiving another pair. Although Haylen did use it to give
him a smooch (also that one time when he accidently caught Maxson under one and
got a peck on the cheek). Feeling the colder weather and the change in music on
Diamond City Radio, Danse crafted a mistletoe out of scrap metal and welded
onto his armor. The very first person he’d want to share this with was Sole,
his comrade and closest friend. In his haste to catch them, Danse didn’t
realize his fusion core was drained and he was frozen; out in the cold. Shit.
Calling for help, Sole came to the rescue and saw the mistletoe and Danse’s
predicament. Golden opportunity: Sole gathered all their other friends who are
willing at least give Danse an eskimo kiss for a kissing train! One by one,
Sole’s friends gave Danse something of a kiss, just not on the mouth. When it
was Sole’s turn, Danse couldn’t wait! Closer…closer…eyes closed… PSYCH!
He got curbed. Just then Sole freed Danse from his power armor, pulled him out,
dipped him then finally gave the beefcake a deep kiss.
Deacon: It’s the holidays, so you can bet this spy has got
something in mind. What does the Railroad find more annoying than Deacon?
Physical contact with Deacon; and what could be more worse than a kiss from
Deacon? The man then hooked two mistletoe earrings one on each ear. The first
to fall victim was Carrington, who went on screaming about contracting
different diseases from him. Next was Drummer Boy, then Tinker Tom who obliged
gleefully. Then a reluctant Desdemona and a near death encounter with Glory.
There was just one person left: Sole. T'was the night before Christmas and
Deacon laid in front of a fireplace clad in only a loose bathrobe and two
mistletoes by each ear. Sole came in to the man licking his lips and loosening
his robe. They laid down next to him and showered whatever exposed skin with
sensual smooches. The two proceeded to snuggle in front of the fire.
Dogmeat: The hound had just gobbled down a steak and went to find his
master. “THERE THEY ARE! WITH RED LADY! Why are they eating each other?
KISSIES!! I NEED KISSIES!!” Dogmeat squeezed in between Piper and Sole,
with attention seeking eyes. “Of course you can have one too boy.”
Dogmeat got a kiss on his snout, which was countered by his licking. “MORE
Gage: Ever since the boss has stolen his heart just as they had
stolen from settlements, Gage wanted to show his love wherever he can. His
words weren’t good, so he figured his actions would work even better. The
holidays were here, so he needed something that will make the boss absolutely
swoon. After hearing from the slaves about something about a “missile
toe.” Gage had a plan. Sole was pleasantly surprised to see he had cleaned
out the tunnel of love at Nuka World! The two went on a romantic ride along the
water. Hanging at the end was a rocket tied to a super mutant’s foot. Wtf.
“Well would you look at that. A ‘missle toe;’ well a foot, super mutant
feet are hard to cut. Kiss me ya fool.” Whatever. “At least he’s
trying.” Sole thought.
Hancock: As mayor with the ideal of “Of the people For the
people” John had to be a Man of the people. So he made sure everyone found
some type of happiness in Goodneighbor, especially around the holidays. Last
year, he stuffed his shirt with pillows and went around dressed like Santa
Claus. This year he went around with a mistletoe in his hat. Everyone gave the
mayor a smooch. Few actually kissed him on the mouth (Magnolia, Kent and
Deacon). But he had something special for Sole. Calling them to his bed Hancock
stripped except for a mistletoe between his pruny cheeks (not on his face ;) ).
As Sole entered and slammed the door, the following escaped his mouth:
“Kiss. My. Ass.” And Sole obliged.
Longfellow: Surprising Longfellow knew little of the holidays. He
knew about Santa, lighting a Kinara and
above all eggnog. When he saw Sole fuss over being under the mistletoe, he
asked what it meant. “Wait. You gotta kiss whoever you’re with? Sorry,
it’s kinda awkward. No offense.” Instead Longfellow pulled out a flask and
shared it with Sole. Nothing wrong with sharing drinks and an indirect kiss
with friends right?
MacCready: During his time as mayor of Little Lamplight, Mac had to
give the toddlers something that can be a holiday. Whether it was gift giving,
caroling, or just ringing sleighbells. The one thing Mac held onto as an adult
was the mistletoe. Not only was it a good opportunity for a free smooch, Duncan
loved it. So when he brought Sole with him to the Capital to see his son for
Christmas, he knew he needed it. As he held his son, he reached into his
pocket- it’s not there. Mac swore he put it in before they left the
Commonwealth- wait it’s right there. Hanging from Sole’s hand over him, them
and Duncan. After a long kiss, the two proceeded to shower Duncan with lots of
Nick: This old gumshoe knew as much about the holidays as Sole and
Codsworth, so he had an advantage when it came to being a smooth lover during
the holidays. The first thing he thought of: the mistletoe. He’d formulated a
plan to catch Sole under it. One night at Sole’s house, Nick brought a holotape
that will get both of 'em swinging and swaying. He started “I really can’t
stay” Sole immediately joined in “Baby It’s Cold Outside" "I’ve Got to go 'way.” “Baby
It’s Cold Outside.” The two went on and found themselves entwined in each
other. “Get over that hold out” Together and embracing in a deep kiss
“Baby it’s cold out-” *smooch* mmmmm…
Piper: Once again Diamond City was lit up as the Glowing Sea with
colors of red and green. The reporter of Public Occurrences had waited all year
for this: gifts, carols and the ultimate opportunity to confess to her Blue, Tamara.
She wasn’t sure how she came up with this extreme plan, but she knew it could
swoon Blue over. While Nat was at a Christmas Party, Piper had invited Tamara
over to her place “for sweets.” Blue entered the dark building and
found candles leading her to a room. O'Holy Crap. Piper in a thong and nipple
pasties with mistletoes. “What was that song Blue, 'I saw Piper kissing
Tamara’?” No more words were needed, Blue was all Piper’s from that day
forward. The night wasn’t so silent.
Preston: “Merry Christmas, babe.” After losing almost
everything and having his faith restored after meeting Sole, Garvey had plenty
to be thankful for during the holidays. Not only for saving the Commonwealth
and the Minutemen, but for saving him. Preston borrowed a mistletoe from Mama
Murphy (which smells dank) after hearing about the kissing tradition from
Deacon. Preston went to hover the plant between him and Sole but couldn’t due
to the amount of settlers asking Sole for help. (Another settler needs Sole’s
help; how you like that Preston!) Annoyed, Preston used a spike gun to launch
the mistletoe onto the wall near Sole. Then he stormed through the settlers to
embrace Sole’s lips. Someone else can help them, just for today.
Strong: This super mutant paid no mind to the merrymaking during
the holidays. The only thing that caught his attention was the FOOD. Sole gave
him a feast of assorted Deathclaw and raider meat. As Strong ate to his heart’s
content, Sole sneaked a peck onto his cheek with a mistletoe. “DON’T EAT
STRONG! PLENTY OF HUMAN MEAT FOR LEADER!”
X6-88: The Institute not only preserves purity, it maintains
culture. X6 has seen his share of holiday traditions such as the lighting of
the Menorah. He never thought he’d need any of these merrymakings until he
befriended the new director. Even developing strange feelings for them. So when
he saw them carolling, X6 pulled a prestine mistletoe, walked up behind them
and kissed them on the forehead. “Not enough Mr. X” Sole then brought
him into a passionate kiss, ON THE MOUTH!
We commemorate this day with
the traditional Festivus customs:
We have our Festivus
Pole, an aluminum flagpole once used in the Roosevelt’s Hyde Park home,
For Festivus Dinner we have a
Soya meatloaf. This WWII era poster claims that if you use Soya you use up to
25% less beef. Yum!
Of course we have the
Airing of Grievances. Not every American was a fan of the Roosevelts and they
often wrote to the President and First Lady to make their feelings known. The
first letter from Miss Todd of New York makes it clear that no one wants to
hear about Fala’s love life. In the second from Mr. Phipps of Milwaukee, he calls
FDR a “smiling, wasteful, and fickle Prima Donna politician.” Ouch.
Festivus is not over
until the head of the household has been bested in a Feat of Strength! In this
photo from July 1925, Anna Roosevelt has her mother Eleanor pinned on the lawn
We hope you have a great Festivus! Come to the Roosevelt
Library and see our temporary exhibit The
Spirit of the Gift: Gifts of State and Affection. The exhibit has been
extended through January 3, 2016. It’s a Festivus Miracle!
He’s got a lot problems with these people, and now you’re going to hear about it!
It may not help him rise in the polls – maybe he should have used a Festivus pole, right? – but Sen. Rand Paul certainly gets a nod for creativity for using the tradition that began as a hilarious “Seinfeld” episode to take shots at his political rivals.
“A Festivus for the rest of us!” The Holiday of Festivus is celebrated December 23. This holiday gained notice when it was featured on the television show Seinfeld in 1997. Wendell’s first Festivus, 2014.