So today was an awful awful awful day for me. Husband and I don’t own a car yet and don’t plan to for a little bit. So, anyway, it started out awesome.

My brother in law came over and had a cup of coffee with me and Husband, then we were off to his college to buy his books! He is so excited to start school! Then, he took me to the Social Security Office so I can file for a new social security card that shows my new last name. Afterwards, he dropped me off at my orthodontist appointment. This is where the excitement begins. I waited an hour to be seen at my ortho, then, it took SIX HOURS to get home on the bus. 
I finally get home and I was so hungry I ate almost a whole bag of grapes. Then, I had to cook dinner for the husband. I know this sounds silly, but I really enjoy cooking and cleaning for that husband of mine. It made my day a whole bunch better!

Now, to the point of this blog:

I have MASSIVE baby fever today. I don’t know if there is even a name for what I am experiencing right now. I just know that whenever I see a little baby, I just want to steal it and cuddle it, feed it, love it. My brother and sister-in-law just let their 4 month son stay the night at a friend’s house. I know I’m not a parent so I have absolutely no idea what they might want to do that for, but I cannot imagine letting my little baby go stay the night somewhere else! I have taken him over night a few times and absolutely LOVED it. I don’t know why they find it so easy to hand him over. 

Anyway, I’ll be ordering Fertibella  soon (as in, Monday). Then I’ll do the un-boxing and answer any questions about it. Then, we play the waiting game until the hubby comes home and I start taking it. Hopefully we will conceive quickly!

Do any of you have any questions about anything? Don’t hesitate to ask! 

I ordered my first set of Fertibella! Now remember, I’m not going to begin taking it until about February of next year. The reason I am ordering it now is so that I have it all before I begin taking it. With Fertibella, if you miss a dose, you pretty much have to start all over again. I just don’t want to risk missing a pill.

Anyway, it should be here between 7 and 10 days. I will be doing an unboxing of each set I get just so you can see what comes in every box. I will let you know what every bottle says and accompany the blog with pictures. I will also let you know how much they charge my account every cycle. Many women have been asking about this product and I was unable to find any helpful information about it. So, hopefully, I’ll be of some help.
When I do start taking the supplements, I will make a daily blog of what I’m experiencing.

I started taking prenatal pills yesterday. And I may begin to start tracking my ovulation cycles beginning next month. I will track them for as long as I can so that I have a good idea of when Husband and I should start baby dancing when he comes home. Things are starting to go in the right direction. Hopefully, this blog will turn into a pregnancy blog and not a TTC blog anymore!

One of my biggest fears is that I get that BFP (big fat positive) and end up miscarrying. God that would just tear me apart. 

So anywho, this process is starting to happen. I’m excited. AND I’m super lucky to have a husband that supports me and doesn’t make this a big deal. If it weren’t for him, I probably wouldn’t even be able to do this. I love you baby!


Okay, I haven’t really updated recently. So, I will update now 

First and foremost, I haven’t paid my phone bill. Why? BECAUSE THEY WANT 500 DOLLARS TO TURN IT BACK ON!!! This sucks. But anyway, the point of mentioning that was so the two people who follow me that have my number know I’m not ignoring them. So, two people that have my number, I’m not ignoring you!

Second, after talking with my doctor a bit, she thinks that I should go ahead and start with the first month of the Fertibella. In the first month, it’s supposed to help me regulate my cycle. Since that part has nothing to do with my husband, she figured it would be best. So, I’ve been taking it for two days now and I have had very few side effects.

Day one, nothing. Not even the slightest little bit of discomfort. It is day one after all.

Day two, today, I’ve had some back ache (but my back has been aching for a little under a week now). My breasts are a little bit fuller, I’m a bit hungrier, and very gassy. Other than that, nothing really. I would say these are PMS symptoms but I’ve already had my period. I could say that maybe it’s because I’m ovulating, but, all of my ovulation tests are completely the same. So, I have to say it’s because of the progesterone in the pill maybe? And the back ache is probably because my husband and I share a twin size mattress right now (we live at his dad’s) even though we have a freakin’ king size at my mom’s, he insists that we stay at his dad’s. He’s a butt.
Maybe one of the other ingredients? Who knows. 

So far, I don’t feel any different. I don’t know what I was expecting, but, nothing noticeable or uncomfortable. I’ve also had a day where I had some nausea for no reason. It came in waves, after I ate, it seemed to go away until a little bit later. Nothing too serious.

I was thinking the same thing you are right now. “Maybe you are pregnant! These sure do sound like symptoms”. Well, I did the thing every woman TTC does. I over analyzed everything my body was doing, thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be pregnant. I took a test. Negative. And there I was in the bathroom, sitting on the floor staring at a negative pregnancy test, bawling.

I don’t even know why I got so torn up over it. My husband and I aren’t putting our all into TTC yet, I wasn’t expecting a pregnancy, I didn’t even go into taking the test hoping I was pregnant. I just thought that since I was experiencing some symptoms and my husband and I have been… active, that I should check. Just to be sure. 
I don’t know why I was feeling so devastated, why I was crying until I couldn’t breathe, why I had let myself feel this way. I was too embarrassed to tell my husband about how bad I broke down. So, I did what every woman does. I stood up, dried my tears, dusted myself off, and said “Oh, I’m going to climb on top of him tonight and…” then continued to clean just fantasizing about what would happen tonight, our one month anniversary.

After about an hour of cleaning and thinking, I discovered that I have been a mess. I’m falling apart piece by piece. I have been having those thoughts… you know, THOSE thoughts. “What if I never have a baby?” “What if I can’t give my husband the family he deserves?” “What if I am not a good enough wife?” These thoughts on top of my husband’s pending departure have been making me miserable. I just don’t know how to get myself out of it.

Anyway, back on subject… if there ever was a specific topic…
I want to know what the worst time in your TTC Journey so far has been. What happened? What were you thinking? How did you get over it? What got you through? Maybe hearing how you got out of those depressing and emotional times might help me through mine.

Also, I’ve had a few suggestions about the give away. I like them, but I am looking for something more. So, keep sending me suggestions! 


Hello there!

I got my Fertibella shipment yesterday! YAY! Which means I will do the unboxing tonight! I’m excited!

So, I was thinking that I’d do a give-away sort of thing.  I’m not entirely sure what the contest will be yet or what I’m going to include in it but I’ve wanted to do one for a little bit now. So… for you TTC couples (and those who have conceived) what would you like to win? I was thinking I might keep it a surprise. The give away would most likely be taking place in March. So, until them, submit prize ideas and tell me what you think would be absolutely awesome to win (keep it baby related…) and tell me what some good competition ideas are : )

Husband is being unusually… dickish these past few days. Maybe the stress is getting to him. In any case, he was  excited that my Fertibella got here.

So, leave your ideas in my inbox. Looking forward to it! 

Family. Sometimes I struggle with what a family is. Is it a mom, dad, and child? Or is it a husband and wife? When does a family become a family? Furthermore, who and what decides who your family is? Is it your blood line? Because I don’t know about half of my family, and I wouldn’t consider them as such. I wouldn’t even consider some of the people that I do know my family. I know that I have a mom, a sister, and two brothers I consider family. And of course I have my husband. But, would my husband and I be considered a family all our own? Or are we not yet a family? The line is very vague and confusing. 

I bring this up because I was talking with my Tia today and she said “When are you going to start a family?” It’s an innocent question that almost everyone asks. But up until that point, I thought Nathan and I were a family. I still consider us a family. But what and where is the line that typically describes what a “family” is?

Anyway, I am super stoked for Fertibella to come in the mail. BUT, the money has yet to be withdrawn from my account. I ordered it on Saturday so the money should have been cleared today, but, it could clear tomorrow or the next day. Hopefully soon though. I really want to do the unboxing and such! 

On the first I start tracking my OC (ovulation cycle). I’m all geared up with 100 OPKs and 40 HPTs. So, I’ll be able to track it for a little bit, and hopefully, I’ll get a good idea of when I ovulate. (I went on amazon and found the 50 OPKs and 20 HPTs for 14 bucks plus shipping. They look cheap but they work. Here is the link http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0026995KO/ref=oh_o01_s01_i00_details)

I will be keeping my journal on here as well as a notebook. That way, I have something to reference. 

My “period” did something weird. I usually don’t have a flow and I usually get my period about every 3 months. Husband and I decided to start exercising everyday, hopefully that’ll give AF a push. Once she starts visiting on a somewhat regular basis, I’ll be able to track it a bit better, but for now, we’ll do what I can.
Anyway, the weird thing she did. Day before yesterday, I had the lightest spotting. It didn’t even hit my panties yet, just noticed it after a potty break. That happened once a day, for two days. The third day, Hubby and I were baby dancing and when we were all done, we notice a little spotting in the… uh… “aftermath”. Other than that though… nothing. I marked it on my cycle tracker but I don’t think it’s going to be much of a help until I am able to track a “real” period.

If I can just take a moment to recognize my husband here. He is an amazing man. The second I found out I was facing infertility, he jumped right one bored and said “Don’t worry baby, we’ll figure it out”. I was sorta expecting him to stand back a little but he gets what I need without question and he is willing to do whatever it takes to make me a mommy. I have an incredible freakin’ husband.  Even if he is a HUGE pain in my ass, he’s mine <3 and I couldn’t ask for a better man to stand by me through this. I love you Elmo!

So, things are moving along and we’re goin’ to figure this out.

Baby dust to all of you <3