Okay, I haven’t really updated recently. So, I will update now
First and foremost, I haven’t paid my phone bill. Why? BECAUSE THEY WANT 500 DOLLARS TO TURN IT BACK ON!!! This sucks. But anyway, the point of mentioning that was so the two people who follow me that have my number know I’m not ignoring them. So, two people that have my number, I’m not ignoring you!
Second, after talking with my doctor a bit, she thinks that I should go ahead and start with the first month of the Fertibella. In the first month, it’s supposed to help me regulate my cycle. Since that part has nothing to do with my husband, she figured it would be best. So, I’ve been taking it for two days now and I have had very few side effects.
Day one, nothing. Not even the slightest little bit of discomfort. It is day one after all.
Day two, today, I’ve had some back ache (but my back has been aching for a little under a week now). My breasts are a little bit fuller, I’m a bit hungrier, and very gassy. Other than that, nothing really. I would say these are PMS symptoms but I’ve already had my period. I could say that maybe it’s because I’m ovulating, but, all of my ovulation tests are completely the same. So, I have to say it’s because of the progesterone in the pill maybe? And the back ache is probably because my husband and I share a twin size mattress right now (we live at his dad’s) even though we have a freakin’ king size at my mom’s, he insists that we stay at his dad’s. He’s a butt.
Maybe one of the other ingredients? Who knows.
So far, I don’t feel any different. I don’t know what I was expecting, but, nothing noticeable or uncomfortable. I’ve also had a day where I had some nausea for no reason. It came in waves, after I ate, it seemed to go away until a little bit later. Nothing too serious.
I was thinking the same thing you are right now. “Maybe you are pregnant! These sure do sound like symptoms”. Well, I did the thing every woman TTC does. I over analyzed everything my body was doing, thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be pregnant. I took a test. Negative. And there I was in the bathroom, sitting on the floor staring at a negative pregnancy test, bawling.
I don’t even know why I got so torn up over it. My husband and I aren’t putting our all into TTC yet, I wasn’t expecting a pregnancy, I didn’t even go into taking the test hoping I was pregnant. I just thought that since I was experiencing some symptoms and my husband and I have been… active, that I should check. Just to be sure.
I don’t know why I was feeling so devastated, why I was crying until I couldn’t breathe, why I had let myself feel this way. I was too embarrassed to tell my husband about how bad I broke down. So, I did what every woman does. I stood up, dried my tears, dusted myself off, and said “Oh, I’m going to climb on top of him tonight and…” then continued to clean just fantasizing about what would happen tonight, our one month anniversary.
After about an hour of cleaning and thinking, I discovered that I have been a mess. I’m falling apart piece by piece. I have been having those thoughts… you know, THOSE thoughts. “What if I never have a baby?” “What if I can’t give my husband the family he deserves?” “What if I am not a good enough wife?” These thoughts on top of my husband’s pending departure have been making me miserable. I just don’t know how to get myself out of it.
Anyway, back on subject… if there ever was a specific topic…
I want to know what the worst time in your TTC Journey so far has been. What happened? What were you thinking? How did you get over it? What got you through? Maybe hearing how you got out of those depressing and emotional times might help me through mine.
Also, I’ve had a few suggestions about the give away. I like them, but I am looking for something more. So, keep sending me suggestions!