petition to start referring to MRAs as “ferengi” here are the pros and cons

pros

  • they’re basically ferengi
  • i mean if you don’t know anything about ferengi that’s fine
  • but these aliens are fixated on the size of a certain body part
  • and they subjugate their FEMALES by never allowing them clothes or a place in ferengi society
  • they always refer to their women and all women as FEMALES
  • it’s a chance to add a splash of real-life star trek alien to our modern culture
  • comedy

cons

  • uh
  • no for real they’re about as enticing as this:
  • “hey girl i’m not like those other guys”

Somewhat important announcement:

Donald Trump is a Ferengi whose lobes are abnormally small. That’s why Trump came to Earth, it was the only way he could be successful. He wears risers to avoid suspicion, and a toupee (of course) to conceal his head’s uncanny resemblance to asscheeks.

so if ferengi women legally cant wear clothes, i wonder where ishka got her clothing from, because what she wears doesn’t look anything like what quark or rom wear so obviously it’s nothing of theirs 

i wonder if she bought the fabric and made her clothing herself, or if someone made it for her illegally 

from that, we get either fashion designing ishka making sparkly and ostentatious outfits for herself, creating dresses she’s always dreamed of wearing

OR we get an illegal ferengi women’s clothing trade, slipping ferengi ladies brightly colored and glittery dresses on the dl 

i’m totally here for both tbh

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In a recent Women at Warp episode we put a call out for listeners to brainstorm new Rules of Acquisition for the post-Ishka era in Ferengi society. I had some fun photoshopping the results. The top one is mine, “Latinum shines just as bright, no matter the hand that holds it” is a listener submission from Oren, and “A female’s place is in the boardoom” was a suggestion from Nova.

You can still put in your suggestions for Ferengi Feminist Rules of Acquisition over on our blog or on Facebook

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“The Ferengi were initially conceived by the early writers of Star Trek: The Next Generation to become a real threat to the Federation, as the Klingons were in The Original Series. In fact, the Ferengi were intended to take the place of the Klingons, who could no longer be used as regular antagonists. It was soon realized, however, that nothing about the Ferengi was threatening at all.” [x]

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Ferengi redesign

Ferengi are a smaller species, not generally getting over 5'6", but have long digitigrade legs. Their three-toed feet have slight webbing between the toes, and they’ll often ‘sit’ on their lower legs (it looks hilarious but that’s beside the point). The Ferengi body plan isn’t great for walking around, and the most efficient method of locomotion is an easy hop-lope, which is good for getting around patches of swampland without falling into a mire (not that they have to do that anymore, but hey, that’s what evolved).

Ferengi have small eyes, and their eyesight’s not fantastic (probably why they like such bold patterns), and their sense of smell is average, but their hearing is fantastic. Ferengis’ ears are immobile,  but they have highly mobile necks and can turn their head around pinpoints sounds, much like an owl. It’s freaky. The shape of the ears funnels sound, and also help keep most of the rain out. The shape of the ears is variable, and the size is greatly dependent on the nutrients the fetus receives through the parent during gestation. The size of a child’s ears determine their gender designation and thus their treatment in Ferengi society. This is usually established at birth, but reassessed at 4-5 years old (it can be reassessed at any time and enough money will get you whatever designation you or your parents want)–but that’s a whole social thing and I’m not getting into that right now.

When they’re born, Ferengi skulls are mostly cartilage, because a hard skull would be even more difficult to birth. They’re born with folded ears, which are unfolded for measurement but don’t unfold on their own for several weeks. Ferengi have only one sex, and all Ferengi are capable of carrying and siring offspring–they’ve evolved so that a pair would each carry a child, but that very rarely happens in current Ferengi society due to rigid gender roles.

Ferengi don’t have any hair, and they like their skin to be a bit moist if they’re off-world. On Ferenginar it’s going to be moist anyway so they don’t even think about it, but Ferengi abroad will notice that they feel a bit scratchy and tired. This can be alleviated with a daily steamy shower/bath/etc. or a damp cloth worn about the neck or head.

Ferengi have a venomous spur, a modified carpal bone that delivers a toxin that’s non-fatal to pretty much everything but the large insects they like to eat. Some Ferengi dishes consist of a single huge, live, bug which is killed and eaten by the diner using the spur. Homeworld Ferengi are mainly insectivorous, and they get away with being much larger than Terran insectivores by eating massive insects (or insect equivalents. They’re close enough). To aid in crunching bugs, Ferengi have sharp, pointed teeth. They also tend to have high, nasal voices, and shriek horribly when they get upset or feel threatened.

(i haven’t gone too far into thinking about the social aspects of Ferengi society but i’m interested in how the redesign could interact with the canon mores and culture. Canon Ferengi society has rigid gender roles but a contrasting fluidity of presentation, as demonstrated by the ease with which Quark and Pel present as different genders. I’m also interested in how the redesign could possibly expand on the kinds of presented genders and their roles in society [i.e. a business owner like Quark differs from a civil servant like Brunt]. Redesign Ferengi culture is something I’ll keep thinking about.)

(it looks like they just have a tiny dick it’s not what it seems i swear)