If anyone ever asks what I wanted to be when I grew up, its all in the first few paragraphs here. If people ever ask me why I believe in feminism is needed I’m going to point them right to this fanfic. And tell that while I may not have the success yet I know exactly what it’s like to try to be quiet and fold in all the wrong places when people look at you like your crazy while your mother shushes you as you tell anybody who will listen that your going to grow up to change the world.
Life may not be fair but I let others dictate what I wanted because it was easier than making my own path. Then trying an failing and getting it wrong. Nobody ever told me that I could do it, that I could have the pretty dresses and bright bright lipstick but still be taken seriously knowing that my ideas matter. No one ever sat me down and said yes you can be smart and pretty, you don’t have to chose. You can have friends and boys and people will still like you there is no such thing as too bossy, too smart and too loud.
I never ever ever want to think back and wonder if it would have been different if I was my brother, if people would have taken my dreams more seriously. Worse I never want to go back to that girl who trusts, who doesn’t push because shes new and only desperately wants to fit in. Who can’t see that if she really wanted she could have it, because it isn’t pick and chose. She can want the beautiful clothes, the make-up, while still being the smartest person in the room. She doesn’t need to become quieter, less pushy and wait for her knight in shining armor because that’s the only way to be accepted. She may be the beautiful princess but she is her own knight bright and brave.
If people ever want to know why I love CJ Cregg from The West Wing I’m going to point them there and say this, this is who I wanted to be when I was a little girl too young and a teenager trying to find her way.