feminist groups

!!!!!!!!!important!!!!!!!!!!!

The Kai hate is so overboard and disgusting at this point, none of you actually care abt the ACTUAL issue, you’re just looking for a reason to drag him as usual.

Im screaming you guys are SO transparent

Kai: *talks abt a SPECIFIC dance that Yerin did, expressing an opinion already said by the MCs and relating to his own personal experience to make a judgement*

Yall: rUDE hes a mENINIST, what a POS discrediting all the hard work of ALL GIRL GROUPS EVER

Yerin: *talks abt how her choreo is harder than other girl groups LEGIT making an actual comparison*

Yall: qUEEN!1

Both Kai and Yerin were simply saying their opinions on a VARIETY show meant to be taken lightly. What’s the difference between Kai saying that her choreo doesnt seem hard to HIM and Yerin saying that it’s harder than ‘usual” girl group choreo? Yerin is allowed to have her opinion JUST LIKE KAI’S ALLOWED TO DISAGREE WITH HER. Im wheezing its NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND? The MCs literally said THE SAME THING before him, but I see everyone conveniently forgetting that.

It’s bc of shit like this that ppl feel they can downplay the importance and real meaning of feminism, bc all u fake ass ppl jumping on the hate bandwagon for some retweets and reblogs get urselves worked up over the most mundane things, and give the rest of us a bad name when ACTUAL important issues abt equality need to be raised. Miss me with this double standard bullshit.

Could Jongin have worded himself better? Definitely? Could Yerin have worded herself better? Definitely. None of wehat they say warrants the “controversy” surrounding this and some of u guys making a fuss over this need to go outside and realize there are actual issues better worth ur time obsessing over

a woman: i’m a feminist and i believe this

another woman: i’m a feminist but i disagree with that

a man who thinks feminists are a monolithic group:

6

For Refinery29’s celebration of Black History Month we put together a list of Black men and women you ought to know. Their legacy in civil rights, feminism, and LGBTQ equality lives on today.

  1. Bayard Rustin — A leading Black figure in the civil rights movement and advisor to Martin Luther King, he was the architect of the 1963 March on Washington and was heavily involved in the first Freedom Rides. He was also gay and a registered communist who went to jail for his sexual orientation. Although widely heralded, he was attacked even by fellow activists for his faith in nonviolence, unapologetic queerness, and attention to income equality. President Obama honored Rustin posthumously with the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2013.
  2. Combaheee River Collective — A seminal Black lesbian feminist group active from 1974-1980. Although officially short lived, its influence has been major. The group is best known for writing the Combaheee River Collective Statement, an important document in promoting the idea that social change must be intersectional — and that Black women’s needs were not being met by mainstream white feminism and therefore must strike out on their own. Members of the collective included Audre Lorde and…Chirlane McCray, now First Lady of New York City and author of the landmark essay “I Am a Lesbian,” published in Essence in 1979.
  3. John Carlos, Tommie Smith, and Peter Norman — The winners of the 1968 Mexico City Olympics 200 Meter Sprint. In one of the proudest and most political moments of sports history, John Carlos and Tommie Smith raised their leather-gloved fists in the Black Power salute. They wore black socks without shoes to represent black poverty and a scarf and necklace to symbolize “those individuals that were lynched, or killed and that no-one said a prayer for, that were hung and tarred. It was for those thrown off the side of the boats in the middle passage.”

    We also include in our list Peter Norman, the white Australian silver medalist from that ceremony, to commemorate his solidarity with the two Black athletes. White people are more than indebted to black history, and Norman is an excellent example of a white ally. Although he didn’t perform the black power salute, he publicly supported the duo without regard to personal safety or retribution. Norman was penalized for his alliance with Carlos and Smith and was never again allowed to compete in any Olympics despite repeatedly qualifying. Largely forgotten and barred from major sporting events, he became a gym teacher and worked at a butcher shop. At his funeral in 2006, John Carlos and Tommie Smith were his pallbearers.
  4. The Friendship Nine — This group of nine Black students from Friendship Junior College willingly went to jail without bail in 1961 after staging a sit-in at McCrory’s lunch counter in Rock Hill, South Carolina. They pioneered the civil rights strategy “Jail, No Bail,” which placed the financial burden for racist incarceration back on the state. They’re appreciated today for their bravery and strategic ingenuity. In 2015 their conviction was finally overturned and prosecutor Kevin Brackett personally apologized to the eight living members of the group.
  5. Barbara Jordan — A lawyer and politician, Barbara Jordan was the first Black woman elected to the Texas Senate after Reconstruction, the first southern Black woman to be elected as a US Senator, and the first Black woman to deliver a keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention. Her keynote address is widely considered the greatest of all time, aided by her charismatic and eloquent public speaking skills. She is also remembered as one of the leaders of the impeachment of Richard Nixon. We chose the above quote to illustrate her unique punchy sense of humor.
  6. Pauli Murray — This civil rights activist, feminist, and poet was a hugely successful lawyer who is also recognized as the first Black female Episcopal priest. Like many figures on this list, Murray was acutely aware of the complex relationship between race and gender, and referred to sexism as “Jane Crow,” comparing midcentury treatment of women to that of African Americans in the South. Although she graduated from Howard University first in her class, she was barred from enrolling as a postgraduate at Harvard because she was a woman. Instead, in 1965 she became the first African American to receive a JSD from Yale Law. Once armed with a law degree she became a formidable force in advancing feminist and civil rights. She is a cofounder of the National Organization for Women (NOW). She also identified as having an “inverted sex instinct,” which she used instead of “homosexual” to describe her complicated gender identity and lifelong attraction to women.
Introduction to the National D.Va Association 안녕하세요! 전국디바협회입니다.

This is the Tumblr page of For D.Va (National D.Va Association). Nice to meet you all!

안녕하세요, 전국디바협회의 텀블러 페이지가 생성되었습니다! 여러분을 만나뵙게 되어 정말 기쁩니다.


- What is For D.Va? 전국디바협회가 무엇인가요?

For D.Va is a Korean feminist gamers’ group, which acts for a non-sexist world where a person like D.Va could appear.

전국디바협회는 한국인 페미니스트 게이머들의 모임으로, 디바와 같은 인물이 실제로 나타날 수 있는, 성평등한 세계를 만들기 위해 활동하고 있습니다.


- How did For D.Va appear? 전국디바협회는 어떻게 시작되었나요?

For D.Va (National D.Va Association) first started off as a feminist gamer group, gathered to voice our opinions about (currently suspended) President Park Geun Hye. After the President’s suspension, we decided not to disperse, but to keep fighting for gender equality.

전국디바협회는 박근혜 대통령에 대한 목소리를 내기 위해 모인 페미니스트 게이머들의 모임으로 시작되었습니다. 박근혜 대통령의 직무정지 이후, 전국디바협회는 해체하는 대신 성평등을 위해 계속 싸워나가기로 결정했습니다.


- Why is D.Va the mascot of For D.Va? 왜 디바를 마스코트로 사용하나요?

We all know that D.Va is a Korean Overwatch character, who thrives in the gaming world. The reason she became our mascot is because we thought that in a sexist country like ours, it would be impossible for a person like her to appear. So we decided to act for feminism under D.Va’s emblem, so that in 2060, someone like her could actually appear.

디바는 오버워치의 한국인 캐릭터로서, 천재 프로게이머가 되었습니다. 그가 전국디바협회의 마스코트가 된 이유는, 만약 미래의 한국이 지금과 같이 성차별적인 국가라면 디바와 같은 사람이 등장하는 것은 불가능하기 때문입니다. 따라서 전국디바협회는 디바를 우리의 마스코트로 삼아서, 그와 같은 사람이 실제로 나타날 수 있는 성평등한 2060년을 만들기 위해 페미니즘적인 활동을 하게 되었습니다.


- What does For D.Va do? 전국디바협회는 무엇을 하나요?

Aside from participating in marches and protests, we are currently running a feminist’s book club, which has a meeting around every two weeks. Also, we are planning a Women-only(Genderqueer not excluded) Overwatch competition. We are also coming up with ideas such as a feminist goods store, but that is still just an idea.

시위와 행진에 참여하는 것 이외에도, 전국디바협회는 페미니즘 독서 모임을 매 2주마다 가지고 있습니다. 또한, 전국디바협회는 여성 전용 (젠더퀴어 포함) 오버워치 경기를 기획하고 있습니다. 페미니즘 굿즈 스토어와 같은 아이디어도 구상중입니다.


Thank you for the attention!

관심 가져주셔서 감사합니다!


Link to For D.Va’s Twitter page 전국디바협회 트위터 페이지 링크 : https://twitter.com/for_diva_





* 20170620 Modifications were made to the section “Why is D.Va the mascot of For D.Va?”. Due to her own request, the contents about the progamer Geguri was removed from the page. We apologize for the inconvenience.

‘왜 디바를 마스코트로 사용하나요?’ 항목에 수정 사항이 있었습니다. 게구리 선수 본인의 요청으로 인해 그 분과 관련된 언급을 페이지에서 완전히 삭제했습니다. 불편을 끼쳐드려 죄송합니다.

Okay, here’s the problem with the idea that oppressed groups can “alienate allies” by not being nice enough:

You shouldn’t be an ally because oppressed groups are nice to you. You should be an ally because you believe that they deserve basic human rights. Hearing “I hate men” shouldn’t make men stop being feminist. Hearing
“fuck white people” shouldn’t make white people stop opposing racism.

Your opposition to oppression should be moral, and immovable. Your belief that all humans should be treated with equal respect shouldn’t be conditional based on whether or not individual people are nice to you. 

(Source

“Dance of the Witches in Front of Chicago Federal Building, Oct. 31 1969.”

Discovered this amazing feminist group called, “Women’s International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell” or shortly entitled, “W.I.T.C.H” while reading about the Weathermen the other day. They mixed street theater and protests which usually included witch costumes and chanting hexes. 

I’m really surprised Tumblr doesn’t talk about this group more so you can read a little bit more HERE

“WITCH lives and laughs in every woman.  She is the free part of each of us, beneath the shy smiles, the acquiescence to absurd male domination, the make-up or flesh-suffocating clothes our sick society demands.  There is no “joining” WITCH.  If you are a woman and dare to look within yourself, you are a WITCH.  You make your own rules.”

What a time to be alive. 

If The Witcher had a female protagonist, I’d have probably played it already. Not saying Geralt isn’t amazing or that I don’t plan to play it. I also acknowledge the abundance of badass babes featured throughout the Witcher series (Yen and Ciri can fuck me up) but I’ve always had deep connections to video games with leading ladies or at least games that let me make my own. I get such a rush of raw female empowerment when I see my grey warden Isolde set fire to a horde of darkspawn, or my Marian Hawke slice her way through an army of templars, or when Shaera uses the anchor to seal the breach. And it all began when Lara Croft killed that first T-Rex with only a pair of pistols in the first Tomb Raider.

It’s also important to me as a female gamer to have safe spaces consisting of fellow female gamers. Now that I’m more open in my love for video games, I do notice more men approach me to talk about our mutual interest but I don’t engage them half the time and when I do it’s limited to “yeah I love this game too” because it’s like, as a female gamer I have to try so much harder to prove myself. Like if I don’t know every bit of lore, or the stats of each weapon and piece of armor, or the origins of each race, then I’m a “fake gamer girl” and that is such bullshit because I’ve been playing video games for as long as I’ve known how to spell my name! I feel like guys judge me harder and maybe that isn’t the case but it’s what I’m used to sadly. I will say that I’m lucky to have a male partner that understands this and fosters my love for gaming and a few guy friends that get this as well.

The gaming community as a whole can be a toxic environment for women and I refuse to let that be the case for me.

I want my friends to understand that being “sick of politics” is privilege in action. Your privilege allows you to live a non-political existence. Your wealth, your race, your abilities or your gender allows you to live a life in which you likely will not be a target of bigotry, attacks, deportation, or genocide. You don’t want to get political, you don’t want to fight because your life and safety are not at stake.

It’s hard and exhausting to bring up issues of oppression (aka “get political”). The fighting is tiring. I get it. Self-care is essential. But if you find politics annoying and you just want everyone to be nice, please know that people are literally fighting for their lives and safety. You might not see it, but that’s what privilege does.

- Kristen Tea

(Source)

There’s a feminist group in Seattle that calls themselves revolutionary feminists rather than radical feminists since their ideas are “radical” by definition but they support and accept trans women and don’t tolerate any of that “gender critical” shit as far as I can tell, so anyway I’m a revolutionary feminist or “revfem” welcome to my blog.

"Men cannot experience sexism!"

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
She said as the police officer arresred her boyfriemd for domestic abuse even though she was the only abuser there.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the shelter volunteers as the abused man they turned away hopelessly searched for a shelter that also took in abused men.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
The Isreali woman said, as her act of forcing a man to have sex with her went unpunished purely because her country doesnt recognize it as rape.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
said the judge, as the father lost custody of his children to the proven unfit mother.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the lawyer, as she told her client that the jury would take her side because they have more sympathy for women.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
She said, as her divorce lawyers were securing half of her ex husbands belongings from their 7 day marriage.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the Indian woman who beat her husband, but knows that he cannot call it domestic violence because her country only recognizes male abusers

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the feminist groups as they fought against gender neutral rape laws.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the airline as they enforced their policy on men specifically not being permitted to sit near children.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said Jezebel, as it posted articles about abusing your boyfriend and demanding oral sex from your husband.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the comedian, right after she admitted to raping a guy with no negative response from peers.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the homeless man who was turned away at the shelter so that they could save room for women.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
The crowd said, as they chuckled and gawked at the woman physically and verbally abusing her boyfriend in public.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the blogger who thinks men should be drafted because they are more disposable.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the average man, as any and all problems he faces, even those more likely to happen to him than women, is made all about women.

“Men cannot experience sexism!”
Said the internet activist, as they laugh and put up childish emoticons at the male trying to explain his point of view concerning sexism.


Men cannot experience sexism!
When will men get that through their heads.

anonymous asked:

pls don't queerwash feminist history! many of the early suffragettes were queer women themselves! not just emmeline pankhurst's secret affair, but edith craig & clare atwood lived in a polyamorous triad with christabel marshall! while now's hostilities against lesbians were known, queer women of color formed many lesbian grassroots organizations in the 1970's. queer women couldn't rely on men's financial support and needed independence, so they were feminist foremothers for themselves and us.

Well, queerwashing is a new one. 

I am going to go ahead and assume you are referring to this post where I say:

“Feminism has a terrible history not being inclusive of queer identities. And feminist groups need to face that history and learn from it instead of just repeating the same patterns over and over. They need to be active in their inclusion of queer identities in their politics, and no, having a “gay best friend” does not count.”

And none of what I said in any way disputes what you said here. There were and are queer feminists. But feminism as a movement has a history of exclusion. 

Remember the lavender menace? They formed because prominent feminists were spouting queerphobic rhetoric. 

Want to talk names? Let’s discuss Julie Bindel, who co-founded Justice for Women described bisexuality as a “fashionable trend”, and ridiculously transphobic. Also she was a lesbian feminist, so being a lesbian and a feminist does not mean you can’t be queerphobic.

Also we of course won’t forget to include the Redstockings, who are your garden variety homophobes.

These are just a couple that come to mind, but let’s talk more recent. TERFs, the acronym does not stand from Transgender Exclusionary Radical Friends, those people are self proclaimed feminists. 

How about the more recent controversy, when Chimamanda Adichie said that transgender women aren’t women. 

So yes, feminism has included queer people in certain pockets of the movement, but that does not absolve them of their history of exclusion. Just because some were good, does not mean the movement as a whole can pretend that there have never been problems.

For feminism to be inclusive it cannot deny its history of exclusion. It must face it and learn from it. 

And if hearing about the history of feminism angered you so much, then maybe you need to examine yourself. Because denial of the negatives of any movement is dangerous, and if you promote that denial then you are actively damaging the people who are trying to improve. 

You can’t hide feminism’s problems behind the queer people who tried to fix them, and I doubt that those people would have wanted you to in the first place.  

Psychologists surveyed hundreds of alt-right supporters. The results are unsettling.
(Vox, Aug 15 2017)

Brian Resnick:

“One of the starkest, darkest findings in the survey comes from a simple question: How evolved do you think other people are? (…)

On average, alt-righters saw other groups as hunched-over proto-humans.

On average, they rated Muslims at a 55.4 (again, out of 100), Democrats at 60.4, black people at 64.7, Mexicans at 67.7, journalists at 58.6, Jews at 73, and feminists at 57.

These groups appear as subhumans to those taking the survey. And what about white people? They were scored at a noble 91.8.

The comparison group, on the other hand, scored all these groups in the 80s or 90s on average. (In science terms, the alt-righters were nearly a full standard deviation more extreme in their responses than the comparison group.)

“If you look at the mean dehumanization scores, they’re about at the level to the degree people in the US dehumanize ISIS,” Forscher says. “The reason why I find that so astonishing is that we’re engaged in violent conflict with ISIS.”

Dehumanization is scary. It’s the psychological trick we engage in that allows us to harm other people (because it’s easier to inflict pain on people who are not people). Historically it’s been the fuel of mass atrocities and genocide.”

What they say: feminists get so offended by everything!!1!!1!!1!!! Learn to take a joke!

What they mean: I used to be able to get away with oppressing marginalized groups. Now, feminists are calling me out on my bullshit and I can’t be a bigot without receiving backlash! *cries*

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand the context of your my/your kink argument, esp. the examples you are using. While I do obviously agree that writing about something is not the same as condoning it, is that where the statement ends? I mean, if someone were to write exclusively about rape/pedophilia/sexual abuse and portray it in a positive light, I wouldn't merely regard it as a kink (afaik kink implies practice, implies consent) and morally I would condemn it. Could you elaborate?

I have (at least) five answers.

1.  The vast majority of the moral meaning lies in both the consumer’s and creator’s contexts.  Martha writes a fic in which two sixteen-year-olds explore one another’s bodies.  Pedophilia?  Which country are you living in? What about the characters? What’s the time period and context?  José writes a fic in which one character sexually abuses another but they both come to a better place.  Endorsement of abuse?  Darkfic?  Hurt/comfort?  Akane writes a senpai/kohai fic that mirrors material in the original manga.  Is writing drawn from  a culpable (see point 3) source automatically culpable itself? In specific, there’s an ancient tradition of rape-as-seduction fiction, and an enormous body of documentation showing that it’s a common female fantasy. Rape-as-seduction is rape culture, sure, but we’re embedded in it: see my point in the original post about ids. You cannot responsibly make a moral judgment unless you consider all of these, as well as the context of your own reaction.

2. Consider the creator’s point of view.  You don’t know what the creator was thinking, and you don’t have the right to ask.  The creator may be working through a painful experience and getting catharsis through fiction.  The creator may be trying to convey as subtext that a particular situation is wrong and bad.  (With or without success.) The creator may be fantasizing a situation without any intention of putting it into practice – see the very relevant quotations in my post.  And, of course, the creator may be deliberately getting off on something that the vast majority of people in the creator’s culture consider morally wrong. (To whom is the creator accountable? Transformative media is created and consumed worldwide now.)  You can’t know which of these is going on.  Intent is not 100% of an immoral act, but when it comes to writing fiction, it’s a very, very high percentage.

3.  Consider the consumer’s point of view.   All of the possibilities in 2 apply, plus “I’m reading/viewing this to avoid doing it in real life.”

4.  Consider the likely consequences of consuming the transformative work.   There is no evidence that a person not already disposed to commit rape/incest/pedophilia/abuse is likely to be moved by fiction to commit those acts.  There just isn’t.   The evidence that people who are so disposed are more likely to commit those acts after viewing supportive media is, at best, mixed; there’s a lot of “post hoc versus propter hoc” going on there.  

5. Finally we come to “What are you going to do with your moral condemnation”?  You have carefully considered 1, 2, 3, and 4, and have determined that “applying contemporary community standards, the dominant theme of the material taken as a whole appeals to the prurient interest.”  ( Roth v. United States, and you bet your booty I’m being ironic.)   Are you going to draw a conclusion and move on?  Are you going to speak privately to your friends about why the fic offended you?  Or are you going to drop the wrath of Tumblr on the head of the offending creator?   

If your answer is “unleash the hounds of Hell”, I think you’re the one who’s morally wrong.  Period.   Your moral act also has a context, and part of the context is  the expected result.  You are not going to change what the writer thinks about morality.   You are going to create a mob of haters, most of whom are not going to present a reasoned argument based on evidence, but instead are going to tell the creator, and the world, that the creator is a terrible person. Not that the creator makes terrible works, but that they are a terrible person, and there is an ENORMOUS difference.  The experience of the last (at least) fifteen years demonstrates that hate mobs are emotionally satisfying to the haters, are not a force for any moral good, and routinely drive their victims out of fandom and even off the internet.

tl;dr:  It all depends.   I lived through the fallout of 1970s feminist consciousness-raising groups, and I don’t need to watch the hi-def remake.  I am sick beyond words of callout culture.

i bet lance listens to kpop but only like newer girl groups like gfriend and twice and keith comes along and is like “oh … my god u listen to that garbage?” but then proceeds to say “get some taste” and shows lance the fucking ring ding dong video and sings along to every word

hey there. i just want to share a story about girls who claim to be feminist, but deep down really only use it for the label and to spread female chauvinism. i also want to talk about people who think their partner deserved the rape. and my friends who refuse to be on my side, bc they’d rather be friends with a rapist than deal with drama. sorry if i ramble, but the “#metoo” thing on FB makes me want to talk.

many years ago my abusive ex boyfriend raped me. my current boyfriend at the time told me i deserved it, because i had cheated on him with my ex before. i still feel terrible about the cheating, but the rape was real and i did NOT deserve it. anyway, my now ex forced me to stay friends with my rapist for the sake of “the group”, which includes a female i have known for a loooong time. she strongly started calling herself a feminist a few years ago. i started to notice, however… she only talks about feminism when a man doesn’t want to be with her, or when it looks good on fb… and she was not there for her “sister” when i thought i would be able to count on her, when i was verbally assaulted by my rapist for THE LAST TIME and she called the cops on ME. 

it started out with a party on NYE. i had spent a week having anxiety attacks preparing to be around my rapist, for “the sake of the group”. my feminist friend, who knew he was an abusive psycho and also my ex… was on her knees basically stroking his dick in front of the entire room.  so, i went off to smoke with another friend. i was already tipsy, and used to pretending to be my rapist’s “friend”, so i didn’t really care when he wanted to smoke too. he basically brushed the girl off of her to come upstairs and smoke with me and an old friend, who also knew about the rape. my rapist was really drunk, like the time he raped me .. and ANGRY… and was screaming top volume about politics in my face. all i kept saying was “please, lets change the conversation i don’t want to talk about this”… he continued yelling, i asked for THE FIFTH TIME “___, can you PLEASE stop? you’re making me really anxious”, and i showed him my shaking hands. he knows i have a panic disorder. i wanted to leave, but he was blocking the door. my male friend just sat there and let the fight happen, didn’t stick up for me or even bother to say “could you shut up?”. as soon as my rapist saw my hands, he got really in my face and SCREAMED, “YOU KNOW WHAT??? YOU’RE JUST A STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!”. He always verbally abuses me at parties and when we dated, but this time was the last. I went to throw the content of my drink on him, but he lifted his arm that was holding his own drink. As I threw the liquid content, his glass clinked into my glass, and split his lip. He knew what had happened,an accident. but, before I could even blink he was running downstairs telling everyone I stabbed him with a shard of glass.  before my “feminist sister” could ask if I was “okay” or “what happened??”, she had already called the police and told them her friend had been assaulted by me! so the cops come within ten minutes, which everyone blamed ME for btw, bc my rapist couldn’t have walked down the street and said he slipped on the ground and called the ER himself. instead, my “feminist friend” decided it was her duty to call the cops!! so my rapist went outside to the cops and bold face lied to them… he told them i started it all and attempted to brutally mutilate him. luckily my rapist heard me say, “this man has done things to me in the past that i could have called the cops on but didn’t” i also had a voicemail saved of him threatening to rip my lungs out and kill me in case i really needed to show the cops what this guy was like. so, even though the rapist stuck to his story, he told them he didn’t want to press charges. when i came inside everyone was angry at ME for disrupting the party before the ball dropped. nobody cared that a grown man had screamed in my face that i was a stupid fucking bitch, whilst not letting me leave the room. my friend who was in the room during the fight literally said, “he was screaming at you, but you shouldn’t have let it escalate to that.” so i still basically deserved it. nobody cared that the “feminist” had called the cops without even warning ppl to hide their weed, and that she or my rapist was the reason no one saw the ball drop. my ex boyfriend who told me i “deserved” the rape was there, and gave me evil glares all night….. i thought for sure my feminist friend would at least apologize after i ended up freaking out and screamed to the room what he did to me in the past, and that it was “THE LAST TIME” bc i was “SICK OF GETTING ABUSED BY MY ex/RAPIST”. i cried for about twenty minutes solid while she just stared at me and continued to laugh and party with my ex that told me i deserved it, whilst flirting with him! i have been having flashbacks about that night and the rape ever since Jan, and now I know that no matter what… even when the biggest feminist at the party finds out her friend is a rapist… that they will remain the rapist’s friend until the end of time. Because, I “deserved it” and was being “dramatic”.

So after that I have been having a lot of trouble trusting “feminists” who act like they care so much, but only when it suits them… I think feminism is great, but I’m just so angry and I want to confront her. I want to let her know that what she did was a move against the feminist cause, even if he was hurt … she didn’t even ask if I was okay. Usually for a girl to toss a drink on a man, the man did something to warrant it. I didn’t say anything negative to her, though… for “the sake of the group”. Then she stopped following me on social media a few months ago, completely out of the blue… knowing damn well we are going to be at parties together again. Why would she do this on top of everything else? I never called her out for ppl saying I ruined the party, when she almost ruined my life if I had gone to jail. I am not wealthy like her, i wouldn’t have had bail money… and I should not have had to face punishment ONCE AGAIN due to my rapist. I have such mixed feelings. I would love to go around calling myself a feminist, but I’m literally afraid of the word thanks to all the female chauvinists, and my in real life experiences.

I know I should look for new friends, but it isn’t easy in a one square mile town where everyone knows your name. On top of it all, my rapist’s sister went around town calling me a “rape crier”. so, it really hurts when I finally stick up for myself, and once again IM the bad guy! I have PTSD from the rape, and this just made it all so much worse.

Do you have any words of advice? Or tips on how to figure out who the real feminists are without having to be attacked by a male IRL first? Or how to get people to understand that it’s not okay for men to scream that women are stupid bitches to the point where they are having a panic attack? Should I just accept that most people suck, and stop talking about it? I worry that every time I make a post on fb about rape or abuse, someone is sitting there thinking… “liar. slut. she deserved it.”, even though I never mention my story or that it happened to me. I want to put myself out there. I want to post “#metoo” statuses, but it seems like in this world if you actually get raped instead of just a slap on the booty at a bar, you’re being “dramatic” or “lying”, or at the very least are questioned about it.  . I feel sometimes like women are worse to each other than men. I just don’t know what to do and I feel so fucking alone, even though I’m happily married with a man who knows i didn’t deserve it…. he doesn’t understand the pain and the flashbacks and daily morning panic attacks. I want friends who don’t sympathize with rapists, and feminists who are what they say they are!!!

I don’t know if this was the right type of content to submit to your blog, I just really like your posts and you seem to offer good advice. I’m sorry my story is so long… Thank you so much for taking the time to read it <3