Sincere Thanks to All the Men Who Understand That You Don't Get a Prize for Not Grabbing Pussy
For months now, a number of my female friends and colleagues and I have been noticing an uptick in sexism we get from guys on the left. (Obviously, many guys on the right have become an utter nightmare.)
It’s been a long, awful day.
So, I’ll just thank all the men who are actual allies and who understand that being a good man requires more than not grabbing pussy.
It really does mean a lot that you’re fighting alongside us.
Boston Globe has a new headline “Is Ivanka Trump the New Feminist Icon?” and whenever I see that shit now I just think “here’s the next thing that’s going to be blamed on white feminists, liberals, etc. even though literally no one of any race who self-identifies as a feminist or liberal thinks this, it’s clickbait dreamed up by clueless and probably male executives”
Who was it that decided that Joss Whedon was the ideal male feminist? Or that he was a feminist at all?
Because dude has some serious issues with women that have always been visible in his work (like he always needs to subjugate women onscreen with violence or misogyny before they can gain their true strength) and I’m honestly worried about the track his Batgirl will take.
I've always been on the fence when it comes to modern feminism. Why do you think a random dude like me should be a feminist?
Well, random dude, in the most simplistic and basic terms, I’d think you’d not want to be a jerk and have anyone be superior over another person because of the reproductive organs they were born with (and I’d bet you’re not a jerk).
But with a little more detail….
Feminism, as I always describe it, is about equality and choice.
Feminists, no matter how they identify themselves, want to protect the ideas that everyone is equal under the law and, something that I think is much more difficult to accomplish, to be equal in the eyes of society.
Men and women both shouldn’t be objectified. Both should be looked at as capable parents. Both should be looked at as capable employees. Both as equal and valuable people. Both should be able to walk home from a party and not fear they’ll be assaulted.
Feminism is also about choice. Choice over who you love. Choice over what career you’d like to pursue*. Choice over your body and your healthcare decisions. Choice over what gender you want to be.
Feminism is not women rising over men. Feminism is not hating men. Feminism is not women’s desire to get abortions as often as is possible.
As a feminist, I also want to fight against men being objectified (which they are in movies and tv with none of the stigma one would get for objectifying a woman). I want to fight against stereotypes that men are inept at household duties and childcare. I want to fight against the idea and stigma that men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted or that they can’t be believed if they are. I want to fight against the idea that school aged boys who are sexually abused by their female teachers should get a high five or that they’re lucky because every guy should score. I want men to have the ability to be teachers, nurses, interior designers, personal assistant, housekeepers, or really any traditionally female occupation without judgement or being thought of as “less than”.
Feminism is about creating a society in which the only thing that holds us back is our lack of personal motivation, persistence, and dedication to mastering skills that will make us successful… not our gender.
*technically women can pursue any course of study, however, many are still considered off limits or are very difficult to complete.
Degrees in math and science along with traditionally male jobs like contracting, auto repair, etc. lack women because women aren’t encouraged to study these subjects when they’re younger or aren’t respected as knowledgeable or equal.
If they do choose to pursue these topics, or even work in that field, they are often met with such opposition and sexism (whether it’s just demeaning or threatening) that they drop out of the course or work in a different field.
why can’t people just accept that sometimes they like shitty problematic tv like i thoroughly enjoy game of thrones and black mirror and you don’t see me rambling on about how they’re the Next Big Feminist Thing
like dudes sometimes an entertaining show is just that and you don’t have to watch 100% politically correct stuff 100% of the time just have some fucking self-awareness about it instead of bending over backwards trying to pretend like whatever crappy media you’re watching is this generation’s social justice nirvana or some shit
If you call yourself a feminist, and then bash straight girls, then, I’m sorry, but you aren’t a feminist. If you put down a group of girls for a trait that they can’t control (being white, straight, cis, etc.) then YOU are part of the problem. Feminism is supposed to be about empowering women and girls, not tearing them down, right? (The same goes for straight, white, and cis girls tearing down lesbian/bi/ace girls, trans girls, and black, Asian, Hispanic, etc. girls but this post is in response to the discourse that was happening)
Do people ever put any actual thought into shit like this?
Here, let me break it down:
Opening doors for another person is just the polite thing to do. I open and hold doors for grown ass men all of the time because it’s called being considerate.
Hold the bags? What does this even mean? You mean like when your wife is shopping and you’re just there to “hold the bags”? Because I’ve actually never seen that anywhere but in a movie where they are portraying stereotypes.
Give up your seat? So you won’t give up your seat to a pregnant or elderly woman to stick it to the feminists? I’ve often given my seat up to elderly men and women, pregnant women, or just another young adult of any sex because, like everything else, it is considerate. If someone has been standing for a while and I’ve been sitting, I will always offer my chair. It’s polite. That’s it.
Free drinks are always offered by men in the hopes of getting laid, and sex is almost always expected. And if the woman doesn’t go home with the man after he bought her free drinks?
“What do you mean ‘I really appreciate the drinks. That was sweet of you, but I’m sorry, I’m not going home with you’? Why did I spend all that money buying you drinks? Just because I wanted to get to know you? Pffft.”
“I don’t get free entry”
Once again, the whole 'women get in free’ thing is always done to then attract horny men to pay to get into said place in the hopes that at least one of the women will get drunk off ALL THOSE free drinks and sleep with his pathetic ass.
“I don’t get sympathy.”
Bahahaha. What the hell? First of all, what the hell do you mean?? What is the context here? Do you honestly think only women receive sympathy? I’m so confused.
“She must have one gaping vagina, the slut!”
“Ew that vagina looks like an open face roast beef sandwich!”
“It was like throwing a hot dog down a tunnel!”
“Damn, her pussy was so tight!”
“I want that tight pussy of yours so bad, ma.”
I could go on and on and on.
Once again, this is all because of other men. Men are expected to be masculine and adhere to certain styles that aren’t 'feminine". This is exactly one of the things feminists fight for.
Men, you wanna wear heels? Wear them. Rock them. If they make you feel hot, throw them on and then dig that heel into the temple of any man or woman who calls you less of a man for wearing them.
I have pretty large feet due to my height, so we can even share cute shoes! And I won’t think you any less of a man.
Again, with the makeup. It’s only because society (mostly men) call it unmanly. But feminists say, my dude, you wanna contour your face and rock a nice shade of lipstick? I’ll shoot you some tutorials and tell you how badass you look afterwards. It. Doesn’t. Make. You. Any. Less. Of. A. Man.
And while you’re at it, gimme some tips. Cause I suck at doing my makeup. That’s why I rarely wear anything more than eyeliner and mascara.
Stupid men can’t be blond? What does that mean? Are you saying a man can’t be stupid and get away with it because he’s blond??? Since when can women get away with that ridiculous stereotype? It’s 2016. We know hair color has Jack shit to do with intelligence. If a woman is blond and can get away with being stupid, it’s because most men are attracted to the ditzy, sexy, blond. That’s one large reason women, Marilyn Monroe to name one iconic one, dye(d) their hair blond and act like idiots even though they are actually very smart. They are afraid men don’t like smart women. And most of the media proves that many men don’t. (Once again, think Marilyn Monroe)
“When you slapped me I was wrong”
No, I was wrong because no one should be slapping anyone unless in self defense.
“When I slapped you I had anger issues”
Possibly you do have anger issues. Who knows? But once again, it is wrong because no one should be hitting anyone else unless you are in fear for your safety and need to try to protect yourself.
Well, if she had worked and had a salary and you are getting divorced she is entitled to half because it was a fifty fifty income no matter why you are divorcing. Other than that, there is such a thing as a prenup.
Now, let’s all think of all the cases where the man cheated on or was beating the woman and she decided she wanted a divorce and the judge ruled in favor of the man and gave the man everything? I personally know two women who got married, did the stay at home mom thing while he worked, found out he was having an affair (the other one she was being mentally abused by him and finally had enough), filed for divorce, and he walked away with everything while the women and their children moved in with their mother (the other with her sister and her husband and daughter).
Feminism addresses all of these things. Feminism is not just fighting for women’s rights. It is fighting against the patriarchy, a patriarchy which also harms men. We are constantly addressing those issues. But all the manplaining and MRA bullshit doesn’t look at that. They just see men being “attacked” and immediately start complaining.
Found these gems on Facebook. Lots of men sharing them thinking they are sticking it to us crazy feminists!! (By the way, everyone who has Twitter should @ these to all the actors in these images, since we all know the person who photoshopped these did not have permission to use these images for something I know for a fact none of these men stand for. So, everyone, please send these images to these actors Twitter’s)
But this just makes me laugh/want to cry. No thought went into this. Men are really grasping at straws here.
Rhysand: Captain of the football team, Feyre’s boyfriend, and a highkey feminist. Chill dude, comes off as kinda scary and intimidating, but is really nice when you get to know him. Fuck with his squad tho and you’ll probably end up in a ditch with several broken bones.
Feyre: President of the Archery Club. Is 100% an art person. She’s that girl that’s popular because she’s genuinely nice to people, and she makes Rhys seem less intimidating. Little do people know that she’s the one who fucks people up when they mess with her squad.
Mor: Super bubbly cheerleader, is best bros with Feyre, and loves going shopping with her. Her family tried to get her into an arranged marriage but she managed to escape it. She has a thing for Azriel but knows that he isn’t ready yet so she doesn’t say anything about it.
Cassian: President of the Boxing Club, was adopted by Rhys’s mum, is 100% a ladies man, but since she transferred over he’s had eyes for Nesta. Very chill guy, can probably be seen at lots of parties, can come off as a bit of a DudeBro but if he hears anything discriminatory he will probably punch that person’s teeth in.
Azriel: is on Rhys’s football team, is that quiet kinda sullen kid, only opens up around his squad (especially Mor). Everyone knows he’s got a thing for Mor but doesn’t want to confront him about it. Is a very withdrawn guy but can be seen at clubs or parties with Mor and Cassian. Is the Mom Friend who picks them off the floor and takes them home when they’re too drunk to stand.
Amren: hardcore sports fan, can probably be spotted local sports games or with her squad, is good friends with Nesta. She seems to know a lot about everything, no one knows how, no one really WANTS to know how. People lowkey think that her dad’s involved with the local gang. They’re wrong, she’s actually the head of the gang, not her dad. She looks like she could kill people, probably has as well. Is super dedicated to her squad so don’t fuck with them unless you have a death wish.
Nesta: is actually a giant Nerd, President of the Maths club, loves her sister Elain to death. Spends a lot of her time either with Elain or Amren. If she’s not with them she’s probably arguing (or making out) with Cassian. She lowkey likes him but doesn’t trust anyone apart from Elain, especially not males, so it’s hard for her to warm up to him (he doesn’t mind all that much, he enjoys their banter). If you don’t think she’d kill for Elain, you’re terribly mistaken, do NOT fuck with Elain.
Elain: very Smol, likes gardening so much that she started a gardening group, is kinda drawn to Lucien but is weary of him cause he’s friends with Feyre’s ex. She’s probably the nicest girl in school, and everyone loves her for it. Some people might think that Nesta is overprotective of her, but she doesn’t mind because she knows that Nesta will always give her a choice.
Lucien: has a crush on Elain, is on the track team, is friends with Tamlin because he feels obligated. After being taken from his abusive household, Tamlin’s family took him in which is why he took Tamlin’s side instead of Feyre’s when she broke up with him. Lucien regrets that decision.
Tamlin: is that typical Rich Kid who’s used to getting what he wants, is incapable of thinking about anyone but himself. Refuses to let Feyre go even after she explains how their relationship had become abusive. Is just trash in general.
There's this post going around about Wonder Woman not getting enough publicity and ughhh people still don't care that Wonder Woman is played by Gal Gadot who is a gross Israel defender. *sighs* When will white feminists stop?
Have you ever seen an activist feminist dating a misogynist dude, a cheater that has admitted with NO SHAME AT ALL that he's had 2/3 girlfriend at the same time? Who has orgies (?) When hes on tour? Like this is some weird shit... No offense to Lauren, but girl... Downgrade 100%
…her life…her choice…I just want her to be happy…😌
Bar owner Matt Piacentini is not having any inappropriate behavior in his cocktail bar, the Up & Up in New York City’s Greenwich Village. At the bottom of every cocktail menu — is a decorum code: Gentlemen are kindly asked not to introduce themselves to ladies. On earlier versions of the menu, the rule was even more explicit.
Reading about flannel boi reminded me. SO there's this guy I met at college and I rarely talk to guys so as whenever I do, my friends make fun of me and joke about how I could end up with them. And one of my friends kept like pointing out all these great things bout him like he seems like a feminist and like not dumb and then he taught like these workshops that I attended with my friend and she kept finding new goodpoints nd NOW I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH AND IDK I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BC SHY ugh
oh MAN u should totally go for it my dude!! “feminist and not dumb”?? sounds like a keeper then fdlkgfkgj but all joking aside u should definitely go for it like,, don’t be like me bc u will regret not taking the chance to talk to them when u had it