Do not allow him to consume you. If he does not call, go to sleep. If he does not message, put your phone away and have a fantastic day anyway. If he acts distant when you are with him and refuses to tell you what is wrong, don’t wait for him, go home and do something you love. If he tries to insinuate you do not need your friends now that you have him, spend more time with your friends. If he tries to teach you a lesson through the silent treatment, ignore him completely.

If he plays with your feelings constantly, walk away from him. If he acts like your body is his entitlement when you are not ready, walk away from him. If he says terrible, unforgivable things and threatens to leave you after every argument, walk away from him. If he forbids you from doing anything you love, walk away from him. If he claims ownership of your accomplishments, walk away from him. If he demeans you or disrespects your being a girl and refuses to stop when you tell him it hurts, walk away from him.

I cannot stress this enough, you live for yourself first. He is a secondary character in the story of your life. Do not allow him to turn you into a secondary character in your own book.

—  Nikita Gill, Advice to Teenage Girls Finding Their Way Through Love.

Renae De Liz: Collection of a discussion over several tweets about drawing women: 

Q: As an artist, what can I consider if I want to de-objectify & add power to female characters? Tips in this thread

1 Left: A common expression in comics. Eyes are lidded, mouth is pouty. It’s look to promote a sense of sexiness & lessens personality.

1 Right: Personality & Uniqueness first. Think of distinct facial features outside the usual. Promote thought in eyes. Whats she thinking of

2(L): Commonly taught way to draw breasts (OR fully separated/circles/sticking out). Intent to highlight sex appeal, not realistic for hero

2®: Whats REALISTIC for your hero? Athletes need major support (i.e sports bra) which have a diff. look. Consider not ALL heroes have DD’s

ANOTHER NOTE ON BREASTS: If your hero has a zippered top, DON’T unzip it! Breasts can easily fall out during hero work, which would be silly

3: Arms are closer to supermodel size on the left. What best fits your hero? If she’s strong, she'l likely very built. Give her muscles!

4: Hands on left are set in a way to promote the sense of softness, it lessens her power. Be sure hands are set in a way to promote strength

5(L) It’s common to see “the arch n’ twist” in comics. A female arched & twisted to show both cheeks AND both boobs.

5®: Twists in the body are a powerful art tool but stick to what can realistically be done, and use arches w/o intent for “boob/butt perk”

6: One on left feels like she’s posing. Right feels like she’s standing heroically. Make her overall pose functional vs. sexually appealing

7: Heels! Modern heels are generally used to amplify stance & increase visual appeal. I like them, but if I were a hero, not too realistic->

7 (cont.) Most important is what would your character choose? It’s very difficult to hero around in stilletos. Perhaps consider low/no heels

Chose Power Girl (W/ boob window) b/c shes often objectified & show even she can be drawn differently if an artist considers certain things

Intent is to help those who WANT to promote change in their work (which can be challenging). Not shaming those who choose otherwise.

Drawing women sexy is an automatic response to many artists. Done w/o thought. I was like that for many years until I recognized it

If you choose to draw women sexy, that’s fine! Discussing alternatives and recognizing patterns should not threaten you.

I just touched the tip of the iceberg with this. If you have your own advice, please share it! :)

Source

Renae De Liz official site

"Kız gibi ol."

Bu metine geçenlerde bu olayı yaşadım diye başlamayacağım, çünkü bunu hemen her hafta zaten yaşıyorum.

Elime para geçse hiç düşünmeden direk kitaba yatıran bir insanım ben. Ne kadar olduğu önemli değil, sonuçta beş liraya da kitap bulunur kırk liraya da. Fakat ailem bu duruma oldukça karşılar. Demek istediğim, onlara göre hiç ‘kız’ gibi davranmıyormuşum. Üstelik konu sadece tüm paramı kitaplara yatırmamda değilmiş.

Makyaj yapmayı sevmiyorum diye, kız gibi davranmıyormuşum.

Paramı kıyafetlere ve makyaj malzemelerine yatırmadığım için, kız gibi davranmıyormuşum.

Saçımı abudik gubidik şekillere sokmaya çalışmadığım için, kız gibi davranmıyormuşum.

Soğukmuşum bir kere, ev işlerinde de berbatmışım. İnsanlara karşı sevecen yaklaşmayıp, onları bir duvarla karşı karşıya bırakıyormuşum. İki yemek yapmayı bilmiyormuşum, evde kalırmışım.

Peki o zaman ben nasıl kızmışım?

O zaman bende soruyorum:

Nedir gerçekten kız/kadın olmak?

İki bacak aramızdaki şey yüzünden, hepimiz aynı özelliklere mi sahip oluyoruz?

Otobüste, dolmuşta takip edildiğini ve göz hapsinde olduğunu hissedip, sahteden babasıyla bağıra bağıra konuşan mıdır gerçek kız?

Ya da gerçek kız, sadece ev işi yapmayı sevip sevecen olan mıdır?

Yoksa erken yaşta evlendirilip oyuncakları ile oynamak yerine yemek yapmayı öğrenen midir gerçek kız?


Ah, pardon. Biz kızlar hepimiz aynıydık.

Toplum, kızı/kadını öyle bir kalıba sokmuş ki; yediklerimize, içtiklerimize kadar karışır olmuş.

-Az ye, balina gibi oldun. Bak arkadaşın Sinem'e maşallah çok güzel fiziği var. Kız dediğin öyle olmalı zaten.

-Yemek ye. Kuru tahta gibi kaldın. Üflesem uçacaksın. Seni bu vücutla kimse almaz. Azıcık dolgun ol. Kız dediğin öyle erkek çocuğu gibi olmamalı.

Ben özgür bir bireyim. İster kilolu olup şort giyerim, istersem de kuru tahta olup bol pantolon giyerim. İstersem çıplak gezerim sokakta, istersem de tesettürlü. Bundan sana ne?

Benim kendi kararlarım, özgür iradelerim var. Ne sen ne de 'EDEPLİ’ düşüncelerinin bir önemi yoktur, ben o düşünceleri kaide almayıp, istemedikçe.

Bizler sizin isteğinize göre giyinip, düşünüp hareket eden köleleriniz değiliz. Bizler iki bacak aramızdaki şey yüzünden basmakalıplara konulamayız. Sığmayız bir kere. Hepimiz farklıyız. Farklı zevklerimiz, tarzlarımız ve düşüncelerimiz var ama temelde hepimiz de aynıyız:

Biz, sadece insanız.

My friend shared this on Facebook, and what a crock of shit.

Men are not inherent rapists, that’s like saying women are inherently child abusers, which is utter bullshit.

This isn’t even typical ~*Feminist Humour*~ like that crappy 50 Shades of Grey: Feminist version. This is just plain Misandry.

If you ever want to know why men and women aren’t calling themselves Feminists, and some are LEAVING Feminism is because you think generalising approximately 50% of the population is ok.

Judit Polgár (b. 1976) is a Hungarian chess grandmaster, widely regarded as the strongest female chess player of all time. When she achieved the title of Grandmaster at the age of 15, she became the youngest player to do so at the time. She is also the only woman to qualify for a World Championship tournament.

Along with her two sisters, she was trained in chess from a very early age, the result being that all three became exceptional chess players. She first defeated an International Master and a Grandmaster at the ages of 10 and 11 respectively, and before age 12 she was ranked as one of the best players in the world. She rarely participated in women’s-only events, arguing that female players are just as capable of greatness as men, and has defeated eleven current or former world champions.

I hate people who tell me to respect older people as though they’re some demi-god. I’ll give them the same amount of respect as I would give an average person but respect has to work both ways, I’m not going to respect you if you’re going to act like an ass to me. 

  • Before:We should be exposed to different cultures and embrace them and appreciate their customs. After all, America is a melting pot.
  • Now:THAT WHITE GIRL HAS DREADLOCKS, THAT'S CULTURAL APPROPRIATION AND THAT IS DISGUSTING.
The Gender Tag

The Gender Tag Project, started by YouTuber and social justice activist Ashley Wylde, is a cool way for all of us to rethink our gendered lives–performances, identities, norms…everything! It’s a series of 10 simple (yet evocative) questions that help us interrogate our experiences of gender.

The project was created in/for video format (see the original here), but I thought it would be cool to participate in writing as well. Though it can be empowering and liberating to proclaim these answers with our bodies visible, it’s not always safe or possible for people to do so.

That said, I invite YOU to answer these questions! Make a video for Ashley’s project on YouTube (and check out the others), talk the prompts over with a friend, or just answer the questions in your head. It’s a wonderful ride! :) Here goes mine…

1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?
I identify as a genderqueer female, a tomboy, or just “androgynous.” For me, it’s important to recognize my AFAB status despite the fact that my performance is more neutral. I feel very connected to the body I have–one that is deemed “female” by our culture’s dominant medical system, a structure with which I’ve unfortunately had many interactions due to severe health issues.

I recognize that “female” is a sex rather than a gender, but I prefer the term over “woman” when speaking about myself purely for that reason; it feels more compulsory, like something that was forced upon me. In my identity then–“genderqueer female”–I honor my gender (queer) in a way that directly challenges my assigned sex (normative) in the same breath.**

**This does NOT mean I believe the transphobic notion that vagina=female. It most certainly does not! But for me, using the term “female” in addition to my queered label is how I disrupt the gender/sex divide. It’s essentially declaring that my organs and society’s assumptions about them cannot and do not dictate my gender identity or performanceThough some may argue it’s counter-productive to be both queer and normative in labeling, I find it empowering. But I would never, EVER expect another genderqueer person to out their assigned sex if they didn’t want to do so.

2. What pronouns honor you?
She/her!

3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
I typically wear button up shirts with skinny jeans, often with fun sneakers or some sort of oxfords. When I dress up, I prefer dress pants, suspenders, bow ties…generally more masculine items. However, I do like them to be fitted and shy away from baggy clothes.

Dresses and skirts were something I refused from a young age, but I’m trying to re-engage with them as I feel comfortable. Darkmatter poet Alok Vaid-Menon that asks, “What feminine part of yourself did you have to destroy to survive in this world?” Since I heard that, I’ve been trying to reclaim femininity in my life–and my style.

4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?
I choose to shave pretty much everything. I always have. As someone who struggles with PCOS, I’ve always hated my body hair. It’s not really about other people’s perception of my body though. It’s about feeling clean and comfortable with myself. Of course, “clean and comfortable” doesn’t necessarily mean bald! For many, it means letting hair grow where/how it does–totally on its own. This stuff all in the eye of the beholder, and for the record, hygiene is heavily laced with oppressive assumptions that we should all challenge.

5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?
I wear very basic makeup: mascara, foundation, and concealer (very little of each). I struggled with severe acne for years, and makeup gave me a sense of empowerment over it.

I also wear perfumes by Dolce & Gabbana and Chanel–my two self-care splurges. In terms of soaps/shampoos, I just use regular stuff from Target. The only time I get fancy is with face washes/products because I have very sensitive skin.

6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?
Yes! It happens more often on the phone than in person though. I have a pretty deep voice (and have since I was a toddler!), so many times I’m called “sir” when people can’t see me.

That said, I also feel a bit misgendered when I’m grouped into a crew of “women” as well. Part of me says I AM a woman; part of me feels like the term is missing something for me. Question #1 covered this more in-depth, but my relationship with the term “woman” is complicated and evolving.

7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?
Funny, I would’ve always answered this with “no” before I saw Ashley’s first gender tag video (link above). But now, the answer is definitely: YES! I just didn’t always recognize it.

I’ve always felt really uncomfortable with my chest. I wear sports bras most of the time, and nearly always wear shirts that hide my breasts (which for the record are pretty small anyway). Having a flat chest is something that makes me feel more confident, and when I imagine myself with my eyes closed, that’s what I see. When I look in the mirror and see myself in a regular cupped bra, it doesn’t feel right.

On another note, I feel a sense of dysphoria based on how small I am. I have very defined muscles, but I don’t build mass in a way that I feel would honor my gender identity. Because our culture equates thinness with proper femininity, I feel forced into something I don’t want. (I feel similarly about my height.)

8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?
I’m definitely NOT interested in being pregnant, and I wouldn’t want to be the primary caretaker of any kids either. However, if having children was really important to my parter, I’d definitely be willing to co-parent with them. I think raising children should be something that all involved people (whether it’s one or ten) are committed to doing, so I’d want to talk it over with my partner for sure.

9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?
It’s important for me to be self-sufficient, and also to be able to have those I love be safe and happy. Other than that, I don’t really care about the rest of it.

10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
I’d love to hear about YOURS! Please post and tag me/message me with a link!

Why are there female anti-feminist?

I understand anti feminist men because some men just don’t like the thought of a women with power and who can be more dominant than them.

But female anti feminist? Like what?

If you’re an anti feminist and a woman, you should not be voting.
Feminist women gave you that right.
If you’re an anti feminist and a woman you should not be working and have a job. Women weren’t allowed to do those things.
Feminist women gave you that right.
If you’re an anti feminist and a woman you should be considering yourself property and letting your father, boyfriend, or husband make your decisions.
Feminist women are the reason you are not considered property and the reason you are respected.

I don’t understand why anti feminist women exist. Feminist women gave you all your rights. They are the reason you have a voice today. They spent countless days and weeks in jail to fight for what they believe in. They fought for many years and decades. Then you anti feminist women either a) don’t believe in feminism or b) think it’s wrong or stupid.

I really want to know what you are thinking?

join our gc if you like feminism, books, or larry and want to make friends who like that stuff too!!!!

rules:

mbf me and emily

reblog this post (like for bookmarks only)

fill out this form

have imessage

be ages 17-21

be a kind and openminded person

be willing to follow everyone in the gc if you get picked

perks:

new friends!!!!

new followers!!

book recs and feminist rants!!! probably

notes on ur selfies and stuff!!

info:

we will be picking 5-10 people but that number could change

imessage only, sorry :/

we’ll start the gc once we have enough people

one of us will message you if you get picked!

@nenyathecat stated:  Just because women have jobs doesn’t mean women aren’t oppressed. Oppression isn’t just not letting people have jobs

Oh, women are so oppressed huh?

Are they oppressed when they’re favored in divorce court when it comes to child custody, child support, and even alimony in some states regardless of the condition of their own employment?

What about female criminals? Why do they get lighter sentencing for the same crimes men commit? Why do female pedophiles have the right to sue the parents of the minor they molested for child support? Why do female pedophiles even get to keep the resulting baby from the rape of an innocent little boy?

Why is female on male rape not legally recognized? Why do men suffer silently from being forced into sexual intercourse by their abuser, and still have to pay child support to the same abuser?

Why is it that men have absolutely no rights as a father, ever, and the women are solely protected when it comes to pregnancy resulting from an act between two willing participants? (watch this be the only one you feminazi hussies dive into)

Why do women’s shelters and hotlines vastly outnumber men’s shelters and hotlines, even to the point that women will shut down attempts at more shelters for men to even things out? I mean, after all, men are domestic violence victims almost equally to women. And that’s just the ones who were finally able to prove it that were counted into the statistics. Why are male victims of domestic violence always treated as the aggressor, just for being male?

It’s no wonder the suicide rate is dramatically higher for men than it is for women in the United States.

Y’know, I wonder why I don’t see more feminists bitching about how not enough of them die or are seriously injured in the workplace? Men definitely dominate there.

And lastly, how is it oppression towards women that businesses are legally forced to higher less qualified women over better qualified men just because of a biased inclusion and workplace fairness law?

I refuse to be a follower to your cult-like ideology full of misandrists, bigots, and rabid hypocrites who can’t see the lies their false victimhood is built upon.