feminism on college

We see movies in which people are represented as being in love who never talk with one another, who fall into bed without ever discussing their bodies, their sexual needs, their likes and dislikes. Indeed, the message received from the mass media is that knowledge makes love less compelling; that it is ignorance that gives love its erotic and transgressive edge. These messages are often brought to us by profiteering producers who have no clue about the art of loving, who substitute their mystified visions because they do not really know how to genuinely portray loving interaction.
—  “all about love: New Visions” by bell hooks

*Me* “What about all the times he made it clear during the election he was going to hurt blacks, Muslims, Hispanics, Syrian immigrants, young people with college debt, feminists, rape victims and sick people with pre-existing conditions? Did you get pissed off then? Did you ever bother to think once about them and their suffering?”

A question that needs to be asked. 

Now girls are often raised to see love only as giving. Women are praised for their love when that love is an act of giving. But to love is to give AND to take. Please love by giving, and by taking. Give and be given. If you are only giving and not taking, you’ll know. You’ll know from that small and true voice inside you that we females are so often socialized to silence. Don’t silence that voice. Dare to take.
—  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, commencement speech at Wellesley College


Here’s a story for you.

Last April I co-founded a sorority with a few girls that, then, were people I loved and trusted. I never saw myself joining a sorority, but we all wanted to create an organization that gave girls like us that weren’t too keen on Greek life a sisterhood. A group that you could rely on in times of trouble. A group to have fun with. A group to share your dreams with.

In November, I was suspended for a semester because I started dating Nick–the President-at-the-time’s ex. It was written NOWHERE in the bylaws that this was not allowed, and yet I was suspended anyways, because they called it “unsisterlike conduct” after preaching to all of the pledges that the organization would never dictate who you date. This has nothing to do with third-wave feminists and I certainly don’t blame the movement for this, however, I thought it would be important to mention that there was already some conflict between me and the org.

Fast forward to a month and a half ago. Two semesters worth of new pledges had joined. New blood is always healthy in any organization. We were growing, and it appeared we were happy. I was supposed to be let back into the sorority this coming August. And then, this happened.

The first two pictures are me complaining about aspects in the third wave feminism movement. The next six are my “sisters” subtweeting me because they’re all feminists. Women that I thought were my friends. The ninth picture is the current president messaging me about a meeting.

In this meeting, I was told to delete my Twitter and everything in it or else I would be expelled from the sorority. I simply did not allow that to happen. I would not be silenced for having an opinion. So I left. And I posted the last picture to let my friends and family on Twitter know about my decision.

I’ll continue shortly in a separate post.

EDIT: Link to part two here: https://vivairi.tumblr.com/post/161402713572/part-two-but-even-after-i-left-they-didnt-stop

18.8.17// this was me taking some notes and reviewing an old article on écriture féminine, jut before leaving to Fuerteventura with my sista for a surf week. Sorry for the long silence, in the next week I’m going back to my study life. We had beautiful waves and the best time together in a while ☀️🌊🏄

*Me* “Season 1 to 3 of Family Guy was wonderful television. They honestly were. Season 4 was good too.” *Then, later on, I was a girl sports writer and got stalked by this strange misogynist man who yelled abuse at me non-stop. (Glen Quaqmire was in his avatar.) He was weird.  And all these other trolling frat boys kept comparing me to Meg Griffin and made bad rape jokes*

I could never quite stomach watching the show after that, funnily enough. 

Because it wasn’t satire anymore. It was just a cartoon that encouraged hideousness. 

Now ‘liberal’ Seth has the nerve to sit around and wonder how casual racism and sexism got Trump elected.

My desk tour video is finally up!! Click here to watch ✨ 

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