So I just wanted to share a bit of my story to those girls who want to play a male dominant sport but are scared. I’m a girl too and I play on my high school varsity football team. I want all you girls to know that if you want to tryout for the football team because you have skill (no matter the position) please do it. All the guys on my team have been so supportive and if you guys can throw well, kick well, or catch well, please please put yourself out there and try out! I’ve had my misses and I’ve even been tackled but the guys were always there to defend me. Please don’t be scared if you want to try❤️❤️
If your feminism fails to answer this question, it’s missing the point.
If your feminism fails to ask, “What is femininity? Where does it come from? Why is femininity constructed the way it is?” then your feminism is missing the point.
If your feminism fails to ask, “who benefits from women’s femininity?” then it is missing the point.
And your feminism needs to ask these questions fearlessly, deeply, and critically–not out of a knee-jerk, emotional defense for the feminine things many of us women love. It is possible, after all, to enjoy something while thinking critically about it and getting to the core of the truth.
That means looking at history, looking at how society got to be the way it is today. The past did not happen in an alternate reality, we are living in the direct consequences of the past.
Look at our society. why does one half of the population wear make up and the other half doesn’t? How do you explain widespread patterns in society?
The society you are born in to determines a lot about who you are. You would be a different person if you were born to parents living in opulent Dubai, than if you were born to parents living in a slum on the outskirts of Rio. How you are raised matters. How the children you interact with in school are raised matters. Everything about your environment matters.
Femininity is a social construct. It has a different meaning in each culture. Women from different cultures do not have brains hardwired to think about femininity differently from birth–such an idea is extremely racist, in addition to being misogynistic. Women in Chad and Nigeria are not born with the desire to wear lip plates. Chinese women were not born, until fairly recently, with the idea of binding their own feet in their brains. Neither are Western women born with the idea that we must cover our faces in make up. These ideas are all products of culture.
A social construct is like a big game of pretend that every adult human being in a society buys in to and perpetuates. Santa Claus is a social construct.
Understanding this, we can see that femininity is not natural. Women are not born with brains hardwired to desire adhering to their culture’s idea of what femininity means. We are raised within a culture, we get ideas from that culture, and that affects each and every one of us. Nobody is a special snowflake. All of our choices are made within a culture, all of our choices have consequences.
Science supports the idea that male and female brains are not all that different at all. The minor differences in hormones do not explain the big differences in behavior between men and women. Culture, however, does explain this.
When you observe everyone like you behaving a certain way since childhood, your subconscious internalizes this. Most of what we learn about how to act and behave is subconscious.
For centuries, men have been using the idea that women are naturally feminine to justify oppressing us. Men have been saying that women’s brains are naturally prone to being more nurturing than men’s, that our brains are inferior to their brains, that we are naturally obsessed with beauty rather than absorbing ideas about beauty and how it affects us from culture.
Feminists understand that women are not naturally feminine, but that the reason we “choose” to be is because if we do not comply, society will punish us, so we make these choices to behave in feminine ways because of the consequences. And of course, enjoying the only choice you are allowed to make is much more fun than hating the only choice you are allowed to make–and also makes you more likable.
Society punishes ugly women for not conforming to the feminine ideal of beauty. Beautiful women receive positive reinforcement for their conformity through compliments. Some ugly women become socially isolated because society values women based on beauty to such a degree, that people will often choose which women to associate with based on looks alone.
Society punishes loud women for not conforming to the feminine ideal of silence. Quiet women avoid being labeled a “bitch” and are thought of as being inherently better people than outspoken women.
Society punishes women who put their own interests first, for not conforming to the feminine ideal of putting others before themselves. Women who neglect their own needs or make sacrifices are thought of as doing “the right thing.”
As long as femininity exists as the standard for women that we are socially punished for not conforming to, women will not be free. as long as we only have one choice to make, we can not be free. as long as the idea that women are “naturally” feminine exists, women will not be free.
Consider butch women. Consider gender non-conforming women. Consider non-feminine women. Consider ugly women. Consider women who reject femininity. Their womanhood is valid, and yet, men are constantly saying they are not “real women” for failing to live up to male ideas of how woman should act and behave.
Feminism is against the idea that women are naturally feminine.
The idea that women are naturally feminine is a male invented idea, it is a patriarchal idea, it is a conservative idea, it is an idea that has been used to oppress women for centuries. any human being should be allowed to have any personality.
Stop devaluing and erasing non-feminine women.
Stop linking femininity with womanhood. They are not the same thing.
Femininity is an aspect of culture. Femininity is a social construct. Femininity, whether you enjoy it or not, was created by men specifically to oppress women for their benefit.
Womanhood is natural. Womanhood does not have cultural limits.
Womanhood exists independently of culture, and can not be defined by individual personality traits–womanhood encompasses the lives and experiences of all women, regardless of their interests, hobbies, looks, or personality.
Womanhood is not a personality type.
Womanhood is a lived experience and a state of existence. Womanhood is not a social construct.
Womanhood can exist free of limits, when feminism succeeds.
“No one calls you honey when you’re sitting on a throne I’ll be high up in that tower, he’ll be down there getting stoned Beware the patient woman, cause this much I know No one calls you honey when you’re sitting on a throne”