Medically transitioning doesn’t mean you have to give up femininity. You can be on T and wear make up, you can wear dresses after top surgery, go ahead and wear skirts after bottom surgery! Transitioning is meant to free you, not force you to give things up.
I am actually okay with how I look right now as I know my face will become more feminine and my hair will grow much longer. Even though I don’t consider myself too beautiful, I guess I do look feminine by now so I won’t suffer from dysphoria much more, except in school where everyone knows about me. Also, I think that some cis people think being trans is about looking as beautiful as possible, which is not the fact. Being trans is not about posting selfies to make someone think you’re beautiful. In fact, it’s all about how the person feels. If they need appreciation, that’s alright. If they want to be perceived feminine, let them make pictures of themselves… I feel like many cis people consider this an exhibition thing, which it isn’t. A lot of lgbt people suffer from dysphoria and just want to feel valid. By now, I have learned that I should not care about the opinion of any person I don’t know who thinks I am “not a real girl” or “just a guy” or anything.
Like, all I want to say is that being trans is such a personal thing and it’s not all about looking good but about feeling so.
Heya, it’s your like 5th favorite latina skeleton.
My journey started only a few years ago, I was late to this whole trans thing compared to a lot of others. Even though I’m not even twenty years old, I learned that it’s never too late to transition. I’m starting consultantion to get hormones, I’m using the ladies room, and I’ve never felt happier.
I may not feel like a girl all the time, somedays I’m just a neutral human, hence Transfeminine instead of trans woman.
But there is no wrong way to be trans, if you wish to pursue who you are, give yourself the time and love you need.
My name is Giran, and Happy Trans day of Visibility
I’m a very feminine FTM to the point where I am scared of transitioning. I find my body beautiful, i’m afraid that transitioning to a more masculine body will make me ugly. But my assigned gender is so wrong to me, being called a girl or a woman makes me feel disgusting. I hate my breasts and my vagina, but I love looking feminine and pretty. To top it all off, i’m gay and I know 99.99% of cis gay men won’t even consider me/ think i’m a liar / think i’m a “fag hag” My mostly non body dysphoria and homosexuality makes me feel like i’m a “bad transexual” who will always be alone. (USA)
The other day I went for a walk with a friend I hadn’t seen in years. Her partner was preparing for phalloplasty. She was wrapping her head around the arduous surgery to come, concerned for her partner’s safety, hoping that the outcome would deliver the peace he so wanted. I initiated our get together when I heard her partner was getting his surgery. I wanted to welcome her into the sisterhood of femme partners of transmen finally getting their penises. The new wave of insurance liberation in California has been making surgeries within reach that none of us thought were financially possible. Supporting a partner through any kind of surgery is emotionally challenging, but adding the layer of gender confirmation surgery presents additional complexities.
Twenty years ago when I met my partner, I was also officially introduced to the transgender community.
I say officially because I’d been butch/femme identified for years and gender variance was something I was aware of and attracted to. I remember being a baby dyke and going to Peg’s Bar in San Francisco. There was a regular there named Jac. They had short blond hair, were built solid, and wore men’s button down shirts and jeans on the regular. I never spoke to Jac. They were much older than me, and I was also a bit intimidated by their fierce masculinity. I remember looking at Jac and feeling a mixture of intrigue, fear, and attraction. I don’t know if Jac identified as a butch, transgender or a lesbian. Back then we didn’t have as much language as we do now to describe our identities and genders. But we’ve always existed under whatever language has been available to us. Just as we do now. We are still defining ourselves, finding language, stretching to understand our experience within a queer/gender context. Partners of trans folks are still trying to find our voice.
I walked for a long time with my friend trading stories. She asked me to tell her the most important things I’d learned now that we’d gone through phalloplasty. I listed off logistical details we learned the hard way. Fill your pain medication prescriptions before being discharged from the hospital. If the meds make your partner nauseous, have him take anti-nausea medication half an hour before the pain medication. If something about the body seems amiss, ask for help.
But, I realized that I almost forgot to tell her the most important survival tip for partners: find a (…)
Though a recent surge in interest is heartening, Betye Saar remains one of the most chronically underappreciated artists still working today. This work, Black Girl’s Window (1969), represents many of the themes and artistic strategies for which Saar has become best known, including her symbolic language of mystical, personal, and religious imagery, her use of found objects in a distinct brand of assemblage, and her exploration and critique of representations of identity like blackness and femininity. Representing the transition in her practice from purely two-dimensional work in printmaking—drawing on her education and early career in commercial design—to collage and sculptural pastiche, Saar’s Window combines a worn-looking wooden frame with a central silhouette of a black woman and various etchings with symbolic and astrological content distributed throughout its smaller glass panes. It manifests the wide-ranging influences and inspirations Saar engaged with, from Joseph Cornell’s Shadow Boxes and Simon Rodia’s Watts Towers to the explosion of assemblage art in Los Angeles of which she was a central pillar; it gestures towards her complicated relationships with Feminism (a movement she denounced as white-supremacist) and Black Arts (whose imagery she often found essentializing). Saar was more interested in a personal mythology, resolutely political nonetheless. “The window is a symbolic structure that allows the viewer to look into it to gain insight and traverse the threshold of the mystic world,” she said.
My girlfriend is always mocking me about my transition. I asked my girlfriend to call me by my preferred name and she got upset. She told me it's hard and to prove it she's making me call her Steve for a week. One day she said her boobs were getting bigger and I agreed, then she said she was going to cut them off and asked how I would like it. Why can't see just let me do what I need to do to be happy? Why is she always throwing it in my face?
Break up with her that is incredibly unhealthy. She doesn’t respect you and frankly the way she is acting is transphobic. Instead of calling her Steve for a week I would sit her down and give her some facts about transgender individuals and that no matter how many times she mocks you or makes you call her Steve that it isn’t going to change your mind and if she doesn’t start respecting that it might be best to part ways. You need support not to be torn down.
It’s perfectly okay to be transgender and any decent girlfriend would respect you enough say your proper pronouns and your preferred name.
For her to ask how you would like it if she cut her boobs off? I would reply with I would be okay with it because I love you for who you are and not your boobs and I want you to be happy.
Why are you staying with someone who doesn’t support you? Who is mean to you? Girlfriends are suppose to support you, challenge you at times–yes but not like this.
It’s abusive. I honestly don’t even want to tell you to give her a second chance because that’s so disgusting to me. I’m very sorry, it’s awful when the person you love can’t see you for who you are.
Hi, there. a friend of yours sent me. i'm almost 16 & i want to transition but keep my femininity at the same time. is it weird 2 be feminine & transition 2 male? Ur friend said it was great but his experience was v different.
What is a man and what’s a girl and what’s a feminine man and what’s a masculine woman and who is a faggot and who are you and who am I?
I’m using xie/hir now I think and going thru many questions abt my own self identification within manhood and womanhood and gay life etc and you are welcome to join me
For me personally, I find I am unable to ignore either my sort of imperfect socialization as a man post adolescence OR my girlhood/the harassment I experience when people see me as a woman of some kind, and it is starting to feel most coherent for me to talk about this and acknowledge that I’m living legally and often socially as a kind of man but have a number of other kind of feminine lives inside that/alongside that. I think for me this means I am going to publicly identify as non binary or whatever more often in order to be more honest with myself and engage with people in the way I want to. Basically what it is about is me consistently wanting to talk to women and feel closer to them and love them in a way men just cannot in my experience do except very rarely and so wanting to interrogate to what extent I really am a man.
I want to clarify that in many ways many so called cis gay men have similar issues. are any faggots real men ? This isn’t just about trans men secretly being girls and if anything I think fewer trans men are secretly girls than cis men are . this is about feminine men and people who are something kind of like that
We (gay men? whichever category u think I am talking abt) can leverage male power sometimes and use its violence, no doubt, to devastating effect, but where are we the rest of the time?
I have very few male friends who are not trans. I have noticed that whenever I fall for gay men, I want them to see me as a man so I don’t have to talk to them about gender , but I think maybe I might need to have those conversations. Because like, they do too, duh. I should make Them ask hard questions
I think that not everyone who has the above experiences and thoughts needs to call themselves non binary and it’s ridiculous to demand that and that is in fact the reason that I delayed identifying as non binary for so long: I didn’t see it as necessary because it felt kind of a given already. Because the patriarchal system of gender we live with is so restrictive and horrific, most people’s feelings and experiences will fall outside an ideological perfect point of manhood or womanhood. That’s why so many people chose “gay” as a catch all term back in the day for all kinds of deviations from the prescribed . I don’t know .
It does make sense to be a feminine man. It makes sense to be a gay man. It is beautiful to be both things. It makes sense in terms of personhood and life even if it has no coherence to a patriarchal order which demands certain things of men and women. To transition in order to feel like your femininity is read in a codex of gay male social life and is interpreted in a way that makes your life coherent absolutely makes sense . Gender doesn’t make sense but trans lives do.
I came out a few months ago(didn't go over well), but I'm ready to start taking the journey to start testosterone. I'm not quite sure how much the rules on how to get on HRT differ between states and I can't find anything helpful about North Carolina. Would you happen to know anything about what I have to do? Thanks, Kyle.
Also copying and pasting my previous answer from a very similar ask below.
The requirements will be the same as NYC. It does not vary state to state.
You’ll need to be 18 if you don’t have parental consent.
It is recommended you have a therapist letter of recommendation to start HRT. Most doctors feel more comfortable administering hormones when backed up by a professional and if they give you any fuss you can just pull that letter out. It also is great for your insurance, I submitted my letter to my insurance and got my therapist visits covered by insurance.
You’ll need a primary care provider
You will go talk to your gender therapist, get your referral, go to your doctor, they will brief you on what is to happen, you will get a blood test, if everything checks out in two weeks (or whatever time frame they gave you) you go back and get your first shot and everything you need to take home with you etc.