Kind of a not so big but pretty big thing for me:
About a year ago I made the decision to stop biting my nails, as I’m prone to destructive nervous habits (thanks anxiety) and this was one I’ve been self conscious about for most of my life. I really can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a nail biter.
I used to try to hide my hands a lot so people wouldn’t see. My ex constantly told me my nails looked disgusting, and he made me do things like try to pick up coins off a table or he’d slap my hand out of my mouth if I started biting my nails, so the shame only got worse.
But now, one of my few successful achievements in life is not biting my nails for a whole year, plus getting over my weird hangups about nail polish and femininity (nail polish has no gender so jot that down). I still have other nervous habits to work on, but at least now I can show off my hands with pride 💅
「 … They are my favorite. 」She breathed carefully, as though a more violent gasp would harm the delicate petals. She cupped the flower from his hand only with her fingertips. Long sleeves hiding the rather masculine veins and joints on the back of her hands. She could change her fingertips, painted them red and trimmed the nails in feminine shapes, but she can’t change how the past had sowed in her.
「 I loved Moutan Peony once… the flower of KINGS. 」She held the camellia to her nose, taking a whiff of its prudent scent.「 Oh, you’d look at me very differently… if you knew the things these hands had done to grow the most GLORIOUS Moutan Peony…… 」
— it was the gratitude that made him smile; true and honest. ‘ admittedly i have no talent in growing plants and such. no one would ever accuse me of having a green thumb. ah! but i thought it was fitting for a personality such as yours. ‘ another poke of the fire that licked upwards, stretching to the heavens. ‘ nothing you say could make me think any differently. ‘ the uttered words quiet, they lingered; hanging in the air before another smile.
another glance towards them and a sly look. ‘ so what IS it that you thought about me, hm? although i’m hesitant to ask. did you see me as some fool? or some bull-headed warrior hellbent on finding said manual. is that who you normally encounter? ‘