“Hop in loser, we’re going hunting!”

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Photo © 2015 - Ryan McKinnon

deanmon-deann asked: Cas out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene. Thank you so much!

Author’s note: This story includes restaurant owner Dean, writer Castiel, burgers, dick jokes, and a happy ending. Not gonna lie, I loved writing this. ;)

“Wouldn’t you agree, Castiel?”

Castiel blinked at the mention of his name, only now realizing that he’d been entertaining himself with his own private thoughts, rather than with the person keeping him company. He had always prided himself on being a good listener; no matter the subject, no matter the person talking, he always found ways to find himself in the words of others. He was never one to zone out when someone talked to him, but unfortunately, he’d be forced to make an exception for the man currently sitting across from him at the table.

The guy had been bragging for thirty minutes straight, ever since they’d entered the restaurant, and by now Castiel felt like murdering his brother Gabriel for making this blind date happen to begin with. Gabriel must’ve been possessed if he truly believed that Castiel would get along with someone who was such a snob. And in all fairness, what were the odds with a guy named ‘Dick’?

“Yes, I ehm… I think you made an excellent point there.” Castiel stumbled a reply, winging it.

Lucky for Castiel, men like Dick Roman didn’t need much encouragement to keep talking about themselves, and Castiel took a much needed sip of red wine as Dick started rambling again.

“So I thought to myself, two best-selling books, why stop there? I want to share my greatness with the world. I want to do things that are bigger, Castiel. I’m considering running for president…”

Castiel tuned it all out again as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Just what the world needed; more Dick. Bigger Dick. Castiel couldn’t help but snort at his own inside joke. He blamed boredom.

“Care to tell me what it is you find so funny about my plans for my upcoming career?” Dick snapped rather loudly, catching him in the act.

Castiel cringed at the outburst, quickly shaking his head. “Nothing, I just…” He trailed off, not even finding this guy worthy of a proper excuse.

Dick pointedly lifted an eyebrow, opening his mouth to say something, but then there was a blissful interruption.

“Everything alright here?”

A deep, smooth voice made Castiel turn his head, and his heart fluttered enthusiastically when he looked up to immediately get lost in eyes painted in green and gold. There was a friendly smile greeting him, so unlike the stoic expression that seemed to be permanently stuck on Dick Roman’s face.

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