female inventions

4

Among Violet’s many useful skills was a vast knowledge of different types of knots. The particular knot she was using was called the Devil’s Tongue. A group of female Finnish pirates invented it back in the fifteenth century, and named it the Devil’s Tongue because it twisted this way and that, in the most complicated and eerie way.

Okay but they’ve literally replaced Sherlock with Mary in promo pictures, she’s wearing his fucking jacket, she was coded to look like him the first time she was on screen, she is the kind of “dangerous” John is attracted to, she has a certain skill set, she’s clever, “neither of them were the first”, and she’s nods along to the psychopath label when John yells at her. She’s literally sherlock. No- I’m not talking about mirroring. I’m talking about Sherlock inventing a female version of himself in his mind that John would want to fuck and get married to, just to watch it all fall apart because oh, actually, John doesn’t want or need a woman because he loves Sherlock and if Sherlock would just get his fucking shit together he would realize this and stop playing mind games with himself.

I may be drunk but I know what I’m fucking talking about dammit

The best part about debating whether or not Link could be female is inventively someone will say something along the lines of “What if they made Samus a man?”

The reason this is great is because I can counter with “that would mean Samus would be transgender and I think that’s great!” And they have no idea how to respond.

Random thoughts...
  • Canada needs more actors so Supernatural can stop recycling them into other characters
  • Why are Sam and Dean suddenly interacting with only female law enforcement officers?
  • Did The Darkness invent female standards of beauty or did she get cable TV and Vogue while locked away?
  • Wasn’t the Mark of Cain some kind of seal that kept The Darkness locked up? If so, why does she have one?
  • The Darkness says something like like “You helped me Dean, I helped you.” What the hell did she do for him? Take him out of the car? Sam was in the car and survived, so…
  • The boys are already not being totally honest with one another so fuck you Carver. Really bored with that shit.
  • Oh and then they split up because that always works out well
  • Sam gets attacked and bled on by an infected nurse and fuck you without lube Carver for shitting on the classic “Croatoan.”

“The future is female.”

“The galaxy just got a lot more feminist.”

Star Wars was not a feminist victory…you idiots didn’t invent female main characters, stop talking responsibility for everything involving a woman that you approve of. Woopity fucking doo the force awakens passed the bechdel test, who cares. Think about this, if you had a movie with only 1 character and that character is female…it would fail the bechdel test. A movie 100% female…failing a feminist movie test…great test morons.

Treating every female character you approve of like it’s a feminist accomplishment doesn’t help women…it helps feminism. Because of bullshit like that every time people like me see a good female character we have to stop and think oh great does this have some kind of sociological agenda attached to it. When otherwise we would have just enjoyed it for what it was…isn’t that what you want…female main characters to just be seen as normal and not a big deal? So stop making a big deal about it and stop trying to make it about feminism when it isn’t. God dammit.

There was not an ounce of social justice in the new Star Wars movie but you idiots are taking a victory lap because you’re a bunch of identity politic collectivist idiots that are ruining the world. Go fuck yourself feminists.

i can’t believe lana del rey just invented female gamers and is single-handedly responsible for creating jobs for women in software development like that. 

There’s no mythology for women. If you’re reading On Poetics or whatever, the archetypal, primal stories are all about men. With women you’re either Persephone, the innocent that’s captured in the underground, or you’re Aphrodite, the unapproachable goddess. There are no gradation.
—  Brit Marling: Inventing The Female Narrative