female blogger

my condolences to anyone who’s ever lost me
and to anyone who got lost in me
or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me.
my apologies.
for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof.
i’m sorry you missed the God in me.
and i’m sorry you missed the light.
i’m sorry you forgot the way i arose like the moon,
night after night.
with the burden to forgive
eager to feed you everything.
see.. i’m a holy woman.
i know what it’s like to give life to a being
without ever needing to press skin against one another.
i’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough,
i’m afraid i forgot to say goodbye.
i’m afraid you’re under the impression that i was made to please you.
i was under the impression, you understood me better.
the truth is,
i’m a super woman.
and somedays i’m an angry woman.
and somedays i’m a crazy woman.
for still waiting..
for still loving harder even if i’m aching.
for still trusting that I’m still worth the most.
for still searching
for someone to understand me better.
—  Reyna Biddy
  • female bloggers: I hate that thing where men deny our experiences like they are authorities on our lives.
  • male commenters: That doesn't happen.
A Message to Women:

you deserve better than to be called “pretty”
you deserve better than to get upset and go online to act petty.
you deserve better than to be on “hold”.
you deserve better than to hold onto someone who’s already let go.
you deserve better than to be held in convenience.

you deserve better than to keep your relationship “lowkey” because..
“someone might see”
and
someone “might ask questions”
and someone might wonder why someone like you would rather hang around a boy who wont commit when someone like them is ready to love you.
is ready to learn you.

ready to show you -
who you are.
paint you a picture of you through his eyes and convince you that you are indeed art.

show you the way he’s mesmerized the way your broken heart still beats
the way it flutters when whole eyes and yours meet
the way it silences to express its beat.
show you how much he realizes you need healing from this hurting.
i know you.
i know something about what you’ve been through.
i know some days feel like heavy weights and hearts with protection that you’ve failed to break through and i know what it’s like to put heart break on hold for the love of your life who forgot relationships take two.
i know he forgot to say “i love you, too”
i know he forgot to stay faithful.
i know you forgot about the time you promised yourself you’d do better but every time you try to leave something keeps pulling you back - telling you
this is the best you’ll ever have in life.
so you stay the night. - - - every night he misses you after remembering your head and how good it works.
and how good it feels to know no matter how bad it gets - you’ll always come back.
I know you.
and he does too.
we know the way your stomach drops at the thought of him loving someone better.
so he knows you wont search for better
and I know you deserve better.
I know you deserve better than to have your spirit bruised.
I know you deserve someone who empowers you.
I know just how beautiful you could be if only you could see your own value.
I know you.
you’re a collection of paradox’s
you’re a compilation of food for thought
you’re a woman - before all things.
you’re more a lover than a fighter - after all it seems..
you’re special.
and I know you know you deserve better than to settle.

2

Karla Homolka Volunteering At Schools

According to a report by the Montreal edition of Breakfast Television, murderer Karla Homolka volunteered at her children’s elementary school in Notre-Dame-de-Grace last March.

Homolka also supervised a school trip of kindergarten children from Montreal’s Greaves Adventist Academy in March and once brought her dog to the school for students to pet.

The private school are well aware of Homolka’s criminal past.

4

This Day In Crime

Brenda Spencer
‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ 

Female mass murderers/school shooters are a rare occurrence, but not on January the 29th 1979, at Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego. Whilst the young children were waiting at the school gates for it to open, Brenda Spencer got her rifle and stood at her window. Spencer fired 30 rounds of ammunition, killing the principle, a custodian and injuring 8 children. Spencer then barricaded herself in her home hours before being arrested. 


Whilst inside on the phone a reporter asked why? Brenda’s response was “I don’t like Mondays”  

Brenda Spencer was sentenced to 25 to life 

Spencer has had 4 parole requests denied, her next hearing is 2019

2

Satanic Murder
Jarno Elg

On the 21st of November 1998 in Finland, Jarno Elg, 17 year old girl Terhi Tervashonka, Mika Riska and a 16 year old boy brutally tortured, murdered and dismembered and ate an unnamed 23 year old male. The gang went to the home and strangled him to death, then dissected his body parts for a satanic ritual whilst listening to Norweigan black metal band Ancient’s album, The Cainian Chronicle.

A leg was found at a local dumpsite prompting the investigation authorities labelled, “The Dumpsite Murder”

This case was labelled one of the worst in Finnish history, in detail information has been sealed for 40 years.

During trial, Tervashonka was declared legally insane

Jarno Elg was sentenced to life
Terhi Tervashonka served a few years before being released in 2003
Mika Riska served 2 years

In 2007, Tervashonka murdered again and received a 10 year sentence

Love Yourself: Build Confidence

So you might have seen earlier, but for those of you who missed it here’s an Ask I got earlier that I wanted to address in a bit more detail:

I could’ve just given a brief answer, but quite frankly, and I don’t think I can state this enough, confidence is such an important thing for crossdressers and Trans* people alike.

Story Time

When I started out this blog, and for a good year afterwards, I was extremely shy. Just think of me as some kind of hermit crab, happy to do anything within my shell but far to retiring to be seen outside of it.

I didn’t really want to draw attention to myself and I certainly didn’t like the idea of people just stumbling across my blog and recognising me. Which is why I covered my face for a lot of my first posts (give yourself a pat on the back if you’ve been around long enough to remember this).

Yeah, just like that.

So what happened? How did I go from a cheap crossdressing imitation of The Laughing Man to the Jessica Blaise we all know and (hopefully) love today?

Well… I’d be lying if I said alcohol wasn’t involved, but the real key was to put myself out there. If you’re constantly hiding away then you’ll never be in a position to be yourself.

For me, it was about taking small steps. When this picture was taken I had a few friends who knew about Jess (she didn’t even have a name back then) but it was a very close-knit circle of people I knew well and trusted. I didn’t truly build confidence until I let other people in.

My neighbours (while I was at uni) came over one day and I, without thinking, had left a picture of Jess on my PC for the world to see. After a few minutes of general conversation, one of them eventually asked “Who’s the girl?”

Now I won’t lie here; my heart jumped out of my chest. My metaphorical hermit crab had been caught outside of its shell wearing heels and bright red lipstick. I froze for a few seconds, but rather than trying to lie I thought about how I could use this to my advantage.

“You don’t recognise her?” He took a closer look but just shook his head. He didn’t have a damn clue that he was looking at the same person he was talking to just wearing a different gender.

I told him it was me, but he straight up didn’t believe me. I even had to call a housemate in to confirm that the girl on the screen was me.

Moral Of The Story

So, as heartwarming and Oscar-worthy of a tale that was, what difference does it actually make?

Well, for one, it made me realise that all these faults and similarities I can see between myself and Jess aren’t as obvious to everyone else. I like to think I know my body and face quite well (we’ve been together for 24 years now, it’s quite the inseparable relationship), and that means that I will always see features of my guy self in Jess. Others will not see them, or at least nowhere near as much as you do.

Secondly, and this one I think is a bit more important, it taught me how to make less of a big deal out of crossdressing. We didn’t have a long heart-felt conversation about it, I didn’t have to speak with him in privacy and tell him everything in confidence. He simply found out and that was that; he would’ve reacted no differently if I had told him I enjoyed archery.

Obviously I didn’t go from shy little hermit crab to Crossdressing Superstar overnight. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was my confidence, but once I had broken my shell and realised I didn’t need it as much it became a lot easier to tell others. Every single compliment from a friend or stranger helped to boost that confidence, and I found that insults/hate dissolved quickly and that my friends would always be there to defend me, verbally or otherwise.


I’m gonna leave it there for tonight. I could go on forever about confidence building techniques, but those are the most important ones you’ll need. If you want more 1-to-1 advice please feel free to message me with your situation!

And, as always, here’s a picture for your time. It’s an old one but I think it’s quite apt for this topic.

Remember to like and reblog! The notes I get on these posts really help to tell me whether you ladies are finding them useful or not, and if you have any ideas on what else I could write about then send it over in an ask!

- Jessica Blaise x x

Casey Anthony 2017 Interview

“I don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks about me, I never will, I’m okay with myself, I sleep pretty good at night.”

This was Casey Anthony’s first interview with the associated press since her 2011 acquittal of the murder of her 2 year old daughter, Caylee Anthony. At the time she could have faced death.

After being witnessed at an anti Donald Trump rally, she said she enjoys a social life. Anthony described how men at bars would buy her drinks and how she’s had short lived romances since.

On her daughter Casey said, “Caylee would be 12 right now. And would be a total badass I’d like to think she’d be listening to classic rock, playing sports.”