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Drafting: The Theory of Shitty First Drafts

Writing books often exhort you to “write a shitty first draft,” but I always resisted this advice. After all,

  1. I was already writing shitty drafts, even when I tried to write good ones. Why go out of my way to make them shittier?
  2. A shitty first draft just kicks the can down the road, doesn’t it? Sooner or later, I’d have to write a good draft—why put it off?
  3. If I wrote without judging what I wrote, how would I make any creative choices at all?
  4. That first draft inevitably obscured my original vision, so I wanted it to be at least slightly good.
  5. Writing something shitty meant I was shitty.

So for years, I kept writing careful, cramped, painstaking first drafts—when I managed to write at all. At last, writing became so joyless, so draining, so agonizing for me that I got desperate: I either needed to quit writing altogether or give the shitty-first-draft thing a try.

Turns out everything I believed about drafting was wrong.

For the last six months, I’ve written all my first drafts in full-on don’t-give-a-fuck mode. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

“Shitty first draft” is a misnomer

A rough draft isn’t just a shitty story, any more than a painter’s preparatory sketch is just a shitty painting. Like a sketch, a draft is its own kind of thing: not a lesser version of the finished story, but a guide for making the finished story.

Once I started thinking of my rough drafts as preparatory sketches, I stopped fretting over how “bad” they were. Is a sketch “bad”? And actually, a rough draft can be beautiful the same way a sketch is beautiful: it has its own messy energy.

Don’t try to do everything at once

People who make complex things need to solve one kind of problem before they can solve others. A painter might need to work out where the big shapes go before they can paint the details. A writer might need to decide what two people are saying to each other before they can describe the light in the room or what those people are doing with their hands.

I’d always embraced this principle up to a point. In the early stages, I’d speculate and daydream and make messy notes. But that freedom would end as soon as I started drafting. When you write a scene, I thought, you have to start with the first word and write the rest in order. Then it dawned on me: nobody would ever see this! I could write the dialogue first and the action later; or the action first and the dialogue later; or some dialogue and action first and then interior monologue later; or I could write the whole thing like I was explaining the plot to my friend over the phone. The draft was just one very long, very detailed note to myself. Not a story, but a preparatory sketch for a story. Why not do it in whatever weird order made sense to me?

Get all your thoughts onto the page

Here’s how I used to write: I’d sit there staring at the screen and I’d think of something—then judge it, reject it, and reach for something else, which I’d most likely reject as well—all without ever fully knowing what those things were. And once you start rejecting thoughts, it’s hard to stop. If you don’t write down the first one, or the second, or the third, eventually your thought-generating mechanism jams up. You become convinced you have no thoughts at all.

When I compare my old drafts with my new ones, the old ones look coherent enough. They’re presentable as stories. But they suck as drafts, because I can’t see myself thinking in them. I have no idea what I wanted that story to be. These drafts are opaque and airless, inscrutable even to me, because a good 90% of what I was thinking while I wrote them never made it onto the page.

These days, most of my thoughts go onto the page, in one form or another. I don’t waste time figuring out how to say something, I just ask, “what are you trying to say here?” and write that down. Because this isn’t a story, it’s a plan for a story, so I just need the words to be clear, not beautiful. The drafts I write now are full of placeholders and weird meta notes, but when I read them, I can see where my mind is going. I can see what I’m trying to do. Consequently, I no longer feel like my drafts obscure my original vision. In fact, their whole purpose is to describe that vision.

Drafts are memos to future-you

To draft effectively, you need a personal drafting style or “language” to communicate with your future self (who is, of course, the author of your second draft). This language needs to record your ideas quickly so it can keep up with the pace of your imagination, but it needs to do so in a form that will make sense to you later. That’s why everyone’s drafts look different: your drafting style has to fit the way your mind works.

I’m still working mine out. Honestly, it might take a while. But recently, I started writing in fragments. That’s just how my mind works: I get pieces of sentences before I understand how to fit them together. Wrestling with syntax was slowing me down, so now I just generate the pieces and save their logical relationships for later. Drafting effectively means learning these things about yourself. And to do that, you can’t get all judgmental. You can’t fret over how you should be writing, you just gotta get it done.

Messy drafts are easier to revise

I find that drafting quickly and messily keeps the story from prematurely “hardening” into a mute, opaque object I’m afraid to change. I no longer do that thing, for instance, where I endlessly polish the first few paragraphs of a draft without moving on. Because how do you polish a bunch of fragments taped together with dashes? A draft that looks patently “unfinished” stays malleable, makes me want to dig my hands in and move stuff around.

You already have ideas

Sitting down to write a story, I used to feel this awful responsibility to create something good. Now I treat drafting simply as documenting ideas I already have—not as creation at all, but as observation and description. I don’t wait around for good words or good ideas. I just skim off whatever’s floating on the surface and write it down. It’s that which allows other, potentially better ideas to surface.

As a younger writer, my misery and frustration perpetuated themselves: suppressing so many thoughts made my writing cramped and inhibited, which convinced me I had no ideas, which made me even more afraid to write lest I discover how empty inside I really was. That was my fear, I guess: if I looked squarely at my innocent, unvetted, unvarnished ideas, I’d see how bad they truly were, and then I’d have to—what, pack up and go home? Never write again? I don’t know. But when I stopped rejecting ideas and started dumping them onto the page, the worst didn’t happen. In fact, it was a huge relief.


Next post: the practice of shitty first drafts

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Stuff from the Falsettos: In Conversation event!

William Finn, James Lapine, and Stephanie J. Block blew my mind several times yesterday and I wanted to share some cool things I learned about the show!

tl;dr: Falsettos beat Spiderman, Bill Finn and James Lapine should have their own sitcom, aND THE BANANA BELTING MOMENT WAS INITIALLY AN ACCIDENT

  • Packed house in Westport Country Playhouse. It was quite ironic because the event was free, but everyone there was hella rich. Hella. I know this because they started thanking donors at the beginning and there was one family there who had just donated a million. And literally not a single person was a POC. My middle-class Asian ass felt awkward.
  • It was Bill Finn, James Lapine, and Stephanie J. Block, moderated by Andrew C. Wilk (to whom we all owe our lives because he’s the executive producer of Live From Lincoln Center)
  • He told us cool stuff about filming Falsettos. There were ten cameras. He said that bringing all these huge cameras in was like your drunk uncle coming to a party
  • According to Andrew, when it first opened in cinemas, apparently in some markets FALSETTOS BEAT SPIDERMAN?????
  • YESSSSS FALSETTOS THAT’S MY FANDOM
  • Even Andrew couldn’t believe it
  • He was like it doesn’t sound true but I’m going to say it because it feels good to say it
  • And, as I mentioned in a previous post, he confirmed the PBS airdate as October 27 and he said that Falsettos might even have a second run in cinemas.
  • Andrew brought the three in. Audience went wild.
  • He asked them what the main theme of Falsettos is. Bill Finn says that it’s about what it means to be a man (which it seems that the Tumblr fandom has really hit upon in all the analyses, so good job Tumblr!!!)
  • And they talked about casting Stephanie J. Block. Bill said that she came in and auditioned with Holding to the Ground (“which isn’t a very good song,” says Bill) and he had never heard it sound that good
  • Stephanie has a very subtly poetic way of talking about things and it’s really moving?? She described Trina as a woman who constantly has “a well of tears” (she gestures at her throat) right here.
  • I’ve been there.
  • Andrew mentioned how her life is very different than Trina’s–she’s happily married with a beautiful daughter–and he asked her how she accessed Trina’s character
  • She talked about how she had taken a few years away from theater since her daughter was born. When Finn and Lapine called her about Trina to see if it’d be right for them and for her, she felt very insecure and scared going back to performing. The way she put it, in her state at the time, every emotion was at her fingertips. But she drew on this insecurity to play Trina. She said she listened to Falsettos and felt that she knew Trina.

Originally posted by trinaweisenbachfeld

  • Bill Finn is a CHARACTER. Cracked the entire audience up. He communicated almost exclusively in mumbled one-liners
  • When James Lapine was explaining the whole March of the Falsettos and Falsettoland Act I-Act II thing, Bill Finn was like, the first act’s not as good as the second act
  • Excuse me, Bill, both acts are masterpieces
  • So the format of the evening was that they would show a clip from the film and then talk about it, which was so cool. Watching the three of them watching the film was surreal, but one part was even more surreal
  • I’ve never seen that many elderly people in a room laughing hysterically over dick jokes
  • Partway through the event, Bill Finn started complaining about the fact that there were so many Act I clips, and Lapine was reassuring him that the first act was still good
  • I’m like HELL YEAH IT IS
  • He and James were hilarious together; they just bounced off each other and said such complimentary things about each other’s work and they would have full conversations with just their eyes
  • Okay, so we watched I’m Breaking Down, of course. Then Stephanie and James Lapine talked about the process of staging that scene. That was a gold mine.

Originally posted by trinaweisenbachfeld

  • According to James Lapine, the boobs were all Stephanie’s idea
  • James Lapine REALLY wanted to have a dummy bloody finger. He wanted to have Trina chop off a piece of her finger and there would be blood spurting and the audience would be freaking out over whether the actor actually was injured. He was very attached this idea and stuck to it until the very end. Everyone else was like James pls no. Eventually, it had to go because of the possibility of fake blood staining the costumes or set pieces
  • Stephanie warned us that she was about to make a pun but that she had to because it was so good, and then she said “the finger was cut”
  • And she was super proud of herself and grinning at the audience
  • James Lapine tried to high-five her, but she was too happy to see
  • (She finally noticed and high-fived him back)
  • The iconic banana belting moment was an accident????
  • Okay okay so this is a GREAT STORY
  • So y’all already know all about how it’s the actors themselves moving all the set pieces throughout the show. Stephanie says that it was Anthony Rosenthal who had to do most of the moving
  • So if any of the banana pieces fell, it was “poor Anthony” who had to clean them up
  • One day in rehearsal, sure enough, some banana pieces fell
  • Stephanie felt bad and didn’t want to make Anthony clean it up, so she picked them up and freaking SHOVED THEM INTO HER MOUTH
  • BUT SHE FORGOT THAT SHE STILL HAD TWELVE BARS OF THE SONG LEFT
  • When she finished, James Lapine was like O.O do you think you could do that often
  • The rest is history 

Originally posted by upsettoland

  • I have so many Bill Finn anecdotes that I don’t know which to share
  • Like I said, Bill would mostly communicate in mumbly one-liners
  • Example: we were about to watch This Had Better Come to a Stop, and Andrew asked Bill to set up the scene for the audience (they explained all of the context for everything in case some audience members hadn’t seen Falsettos)
  • Bill: Whizzer is misbehaving and Marvin gets mad.
  • Andrew (laughing): Is that it?!
  • Bill: Yes.
  • (Lapine swooped in to give a more in-depth explanation)
  • But!! Bill would sometimes suddenly speak up and say something so incredibly thought-provoking 
  • They were talking about the unlikability of Marvin, and Bill talked about how a professor he had at Williams said that Jane Austen made Emma so unlikeable so that we could learn to like her
  • And Bill said that he listened
  • We finally got to Act II (Bill was very happy about this) and we watched the baseball scene. 
  • Apparently, James had said to Bill that they needed a group number with everyone in it. At that point, Bill had already written the entire baseball scene in his notebook except for a few final chords, and he was like oh here you go I already wrote one.
  • James: When were you going to give me this?!
  • Bill: When you needed it?
  • And Bill talked about what he referred to as the “handball scene.” James apparently staged the thing before Bill even wrote it.
  • James: Bill, that was racquetball.
  • Bill: Oh, I thought it was squash.

Originally posted by htmlarry

  • BILL GOT JAMES LAPINE SO CONFUSED ABOUT THE LESBIANS FROM NEXT DOOR
  • Andrew was asking about the Lesbians from Next Door and Bill was like, the lesbians are actually from In Trousers
  • And James had this wait hold up facial expression and he said, I didn’t even know this. Who were the lesbians???
  • And Bill was saying Ms. Goldberg and the high school sweetheart and by then, James Lapine looked like the galaxy brain meme
  • James was like, but that’s just the actors, not the same characters, right?!
  • Bill said yeah they’re completely different characters and James looked very relieved
  • James: We’re great together. On our own, we’re a disaster.
  • Stephanie was talking about how she feels like as a young woman, she didn’t have the life experience to appreciate the complexity of Bill Finn’s story and lyrics:
  • Stephanie: “I liked to tap dance and put on red lipstick and make people happy with musical theater.”
  • And suddenly Bill Finn yells, “ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!”
  • Imagine the kind of person who could write both “BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY” and “this here is love when we’re talking face-to-face,” and you’ve got a pretty solid idea of Bill Finn
  • I know I haven’t talked about Andrew Wilk enough, so I’m going to reiterate here that we all owe our lives to this man. And he was so sweet and charismatic. I love this man. 
  • Near the end, they talked about us!!! The Falsettos fandom! Stephanie said she wants to call us kids, but she knows we’re teenagers and people in our twenties. She lovingly called us a cult and talked about all the banana memorabilia she has received and talked about how the cast sees pictures of us going to the cinemas in 80′s clothes/dressed as the characters. Stephanie thinks it’s so great <3 
  • Stephanie says that she’s not sure she’ll ever do a show as important as Falsettos again. She says there are so many wonderful shows, but in terms of “important”? It’s hard to find.

Originally posted by musicalsaregreat

  • The final scene they showed was Jason’s Bar Mitzvah and What Would I Do? and it was too much. You could hear people crying softly.
  • The last half hour was Stephanie doing a mini-concert (accompanied by the Falsettos conductor/pianist Vadim Feichtner!) and when she belted, I thought the back wall was going to blow off
  • She sang a bunch of gorgeous songs, interspersed with her talking about what these songs mean to her, but among them were “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and Holding to the Ground” (FIGHT ME BILL IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS EVER) and “Defying Gravity” (Wicked is the show that got me into musical theater, so this was really special to me) and I cried
  • An absolutely beautiful evening.

Originally posted by nikolaevna-romanova

  • Post-script: without announcing it or anything, they very quietly set up a signing with Stephanie in one corner. I spotted the table coming in, so I went to check it out afterwards, and SURE ENOUGH THERE SHE WAS. 
  • I was literally the second person to get there and there was no line behind me because people hadn’t realized yet. She signed the hand-out I got at the cinema (asking me who she should make it out to and addressing it to me in her beautiful swoopy handwriting!) and I told her I went to see Falsettos six times and she said, “I miss it every day, (my name). Every day.” And I asked her very hesitantly whether it’d be okay to get a picture with her, and she instantly said, “You ready?” Hence the selfie I posted last night. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.

That was my day in Falsettoland!! I hope this stuff was interesting :) I love this show so much and I just wanted to share the cool stuff I learned!

FFXV x KH Headcanons That I Have But Probably Won’t Doodle Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

  • You know how sometimes in FFXV when you’re out in the woods next to animals that won’t attack you, you end up hitting one by accident while you’re fending off MTs?
    • SORA DOES THIS AND IT RUINS HIS LIFE
    • HE HITS AN ANAK. 
      • NOT JUST AN ANAK
        • AN ANAK CALF
    • He uses a Megalixir on it… Gladio is ready to End Him for wasting that on a stupid-looking giraffe cow!!!!
    • (Ignis: “Prompto, Noctis, go distract Sora while I take some of the mother’s meat to cook for dinner. I’ve come up with a new recipe, and the secret ingredient is ATTEMPTED INFANTICIDE.”)
  • While we’re talking about Sora and killing things– he doesn’t like to kill bugs. That puts him at odds with Noct and Prom on multiple occasions. Those two are the embodiment of those Internet memes depicting people burning their houses down to kill a single crazy-looking insect. Meanwhile Sora is over there feeling guilty about accidentally stepping on a snail
    • A talking cricket capable of reading and writing lived in Sora’s hoodie for like two years okay HE HAS A SOFT SPOT
    • Yes Sora is that guy to catch a spider and let it outside
    • Yes Gladio has killed bugs that Sora wanted to save while he scrambled around trying to find a paper towel… because yeah. He doesn’t want to touch that creepy crawly with his bare hands, even if his motives are Pure
      • “BORIS THE SPIDER! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
  • Sora is able to see Gentiana and Carbuncle without the use of a camera
    • Cue the bros using Sora’s Actual Sixth Sense to their advantage by having him guide them to make silly poses with the invisible deities
      • Noctis can’t believe Gentiana plays along. What a good sport.
    • Sora checking his phone during one of Carbuncle’s visits and beginning to giggle uncontrollably
      • THIS LITTLE FLUFF BALL HAS THE DIRT ON EMBARRASSING CHILD NOCT STORIES
      • Noct: “How tf did he get your number”
  • Since Sora is a couple of years younger than everyone else (I headcanon him as 17/18 when he first comes to Eos), Ignis and Gladio are Very Protective of him
    • Honestly it’s like Sora has four big brothers
      • Gladio is floored by the fact that Sora is more or less a self-taught swordsman
        • He still helps train Sora because technique is important
          • He swells up with So Much Pride when he catches Sora using a move he’d taught him during training on an MT
        • Gladio is so excited to take Sora to try his first meal of Cup Noodles
          • Sora ends up being a bit of a purist; he doesn’t like meat or veggies– just ramen and broth.
      • Ignis is baffled by nearly everything Sora does and how nonchalantly he does it
        • This kid can jump nine feet in the air and even executes a fussy little flip when he does it wtf
          • Oh, well. At least Sora can pick those fruit over there by jumping and reaching so no one has to climb the tree and risk a broken neck
            • (Noctis: “I didn’t break my neck, Specs– I sprained my wrist!!”
            • Ignis: “Which wouldn’t have happened if you’d been more careful.”)
        • Sora is dared (hmm by whom?? I wonder…….) to prank Ignis by putting a rogue ingredient into the stew one night.
          • He and his cohorts (you know who they are) watch Ignis do a taste-test nonchalantly 
            • Who am I kidding they are totally obvious as they try to stop themselves from laughing
              • Dunno why you’re laughing, though, boys– that’s your dinner you’re sabotaging
          • Ignis is obviously disgusted by what he tastes. He stands there for a moment… and then he fumbles around in his pack for new ingredients
          • You bet your ass Ignis salvages the stew. In fact, it actually tastes better than before?? “I’ve come up with a new recipe, and the secret ingredient is ATTEMPTED SABOTAGE.”
            • Don’t ask Sora what the rogue ingredient was, Ignis. He’s not from around here and wouldn’t really know a Lieden pepper from a Duscaean potato
              • Prompto caves and tells him
        • The next day… how strange… it seems that Ignis only made enough dinner for himself and Gladio to enjoy… looks like it’s time for Toast for the Culinary Saboteurs
          • Ignis drags it out for a bit before giving the boys their share.
      • Noctis reminds Sora of Riku a lot.
        • Yes, by that I mean he tries to have a cool exterior but is actually a Giant Goober
        • Noct fishing while sitting at the end of the pier with Sora, long after the other bros have lost interest and wandered elsewhere
          • Long talks about friends and hopes for the future
          • Noctis feeling a little guilty because Sora seems so… comfortable with the burden of protecting not just one world, but a whole bunch.
            • Meanwhile, Noctis is reluctant to accept a king’s responsibility. He never asked for this. He just wants to be… normal.
              • Sora eventually admitting to having doubts about why the Keyblade stayed with him, and quietly wishing for the day to come that the worlds won’t need a single Keyblade master.
                • Turns out the two of them have more in common than Noct first thought.
          • Noctis trying to reel in the DEMON FISH from the VR game and Sora is in such a panic and so desperate to help that he PUNCHES THE MONSTER FISH IN THE FACE and BREAKS EVERY KNUCKLE IN HIS RIGHT HAND
      • Prompto and Sora are BEST FRIENDS and honestly IT HAPPENS SO FAST
        • Prom gives Sora some photography lessons and lets him loose in Galdin Quay
          • He ends up with a memory card full of cat photos of various angles and degrees of blurriness
        • Somehow a local reporter overhears Sora talking with Prompto about his intention to take a photo with every single Kenny Crow statue in Lucis and ends up having a little article published about him. Just seems like one of those slice-of-life stories that the media would eat up
          • They use one of Prompto’s photos of Sora and Kenny for the newspaper!!! It’s on like the 85th page nestled into a corner, but he’s!!! Officially!! A published photographer!!!
          • In the long night, there are several instances that find Prom and Sora on a hunt near a Crow’s Nest they never had a chance to visit during their road trip. Taking a photo is a matter of obligation at this point
            • Prompto scrolling through the Caw, Kids! It’s Sora Crow! folder and tearing up as he starts from the first photo and scrolls forward. By year seven of the long night, Sora’s smile as he stands under Kenny’s wing doesn’t reach his eyes
  • Starscourge!Sora headcanons that aren’t completely miserable??? Look at them, hanging out above the angst cut????
    • It eventually gets to the point that Sora’s left eye glows in the dark like a nightlight
      • Prompto finds himself using the glow of Sora’s fuckin’ daemon eye to try and read the map after his flashlight’s battery dies
        • omfg
        • It’s just so absurd that the two of them burst out laughing
        • It’s the first time either of them had laughed in a while. It felt… nice…
        • Gladio pressing a hand over Sora’s eye when they’re trying to sneak up on a daemon because it will give them away
        • Prompto’s response is to give Sora an eyepatch he swiped from the clinic for their next hunt
          • Sora: “I always wanted to be a pirate as a kid. Who says dreams don’t come true, even in this horrific post-apocalyptic hellscape”
          • Also Sora: “Srsly Gladio I can see better in the dark with this eye maybe don’t”

Head into the misery dojo if you dare under the cut

Uh-oh. It is.

  • Pls don’t think about Sora desperately trying to break into the Crystal after he discovers that it’s dragged Noctis inside of it.
    • The Keyblade’s strength depends on the heart of its wielder. He should be able to cut through this! He can cut through anything!!!!
    • It takes a very long time before Sora or any of the Chocobros leave that chamber. 
      • Yes they stay there for days hoping beyond hope that Noct will come out
  • During the long night, Sora becomes a daemon hunter and a team leader for a group of search and rescue teams
    • His first retrieval mission ends… badly. The people who’d sent the distress signal were long gone by the time Sora and his team got there
      • One of the kids was in mid-transformation after being afflicted with the Starscourge…
      • Sora can’t land the fatal blow. He goes outside and throws up while Dave finishes the job
      • Search and rescue missions are a source of extreme anxiety for Sora after that… but he has to try and save as many people as he can
  • Sora tries not to think about Riku, Kairi, or any of his friends beyond Eos. It hurts too much. He tries to put his Wayfinder in a shoebox in his apartment to avoid its constant reminder of what he’s lost… but he just can’t bring himself to part with it
    • He wishes he did when he takes a nasty spill into a ravine during a solo mission two years into the long night. Smashes his Wayfinder into pieces.
      • He’s too injured to climb out of the ravine, too. He gives up after a couple of attempts and just gathers up the pieces of the good luck charm that he can. He just lay there in a heap and watches the stars
      • Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio hear about Sora’s disappearance and team up for the first time in almost a year to find him
        • They make it in time. Lots of potions and a piggyback ride to safety courtesy of Gladio see our dorkupine boy right
        • Prompto notices Sora throw something in the trash before leaving the clinic and finds the Wayfinder pieces. He knows what the charm represents and how devastated Sora must be that it’s been irreparably destroyed.
          • He gathers up the pieces, puts them in a pouch, and leaves it on the table in the kitchen of Sora’s tiny apartment. He leaves a note, too: I know they haven’t given up on you. So don’t give up on them.
            • A few days later, Sora gives Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio each a piece of the charm. So that all of us will find each other, in the end
              • Noctis takes a piece of the charm with him to the throne

The ‘100 days of productivity’ challenge can be an overwhelming experience, that’s not a big surprise. 100 days of doing something productive every single day?, it’s not always that easy. Not everybody can manage to finish the challenge when they start it, which is ok, but nothing is impossible either! Here there are some tips to help you on your journey through the most (in)famous challenge among studyblrs:

1. Redefine ‘productivity’. Productivity doesn’t need to mean homework or studying for an exam, but it can go from visiting your grandparents to grocery shopping or even travelling. There are going to be days within the 100 in which you are going to be unable to do study-related things because you’re sick, it’s a big day like Christmas or a birthday, or because you are on vacation away from home. But that’s totally fine! ‘Productive’ is anything that makes your day worth it, that will make you go to bed with satisfaction and the feeling that you made that day count. I’ll for sure consider ‘productive’ a day in which you had an important conversation that you were postponing with your parents, an unexpected date with someone you like, or a visit to Ikea to buy furniture for your new room. But try to do as many ‘studyblr’-related things as possible as well, as that’s the spirit of the challenge!

2. Take pictures ahead if you need to. There are days in which inspiration is not at its peek or you just can’t be bothered to snap a photo of what you’re doing. I usually keep a couple of extra pictures of things that I do almost daily so I can use them other days. The book that you’re currently reading + a coffee, or your laptop + your planner, you know, that sort of things that are representative of most of your study days. I believe it’s totally fine to skip posting a picture some days, or even upload one for two or three different days, but this is a useful trick for those who at least want to try to post photos almost every day of the challenge.

3. Plan properly, divide your tasks evenly among your days so none of them ends up being too bulky and drains your energy. I’ve found out that when I have a week of crazy work I find myself procrastinating more the next one, as I’m too burned from the previous days. I also use this idea of planning for dividing my errands among days, so I have to go outside the house and walk around the city doing stuff ever single day, to achieve my goal of 10k steps per day. Obviously this is not for everybody, it’s just an example depending on your goals, as you could easily do the opposite: run all your errands in one day so you don’t waste a lot of time in the afternoons, for example!

4. Try to follow a strike on something. Use the challenge as a way to track a strike on a thing that you want to incorporate in your habits. Mine is Duolingo, but it could be reading every day, making your bed every morning, or not drinking soda, whatever you want to achieve! I’ll say that if you actually want to do a 100/100 you shouldn’t pick habits that can vary easily, like waking up or going to bed early, as it is very possible that one day you won’t manage to do so because you’ll be on a party, have had a bad night sleep, or any other thing.

5. Think what you want to get from the experience. It’s kind of related with the previous point. ‘100 days of productivity’ doesn’t need to be only a ‘I’ll work for 100 days straight’-thing but it can be the path to achieve a goal. Vision yourself gaining something from it and you’ll be more likely to finish the challenge. It can be something very specific like learning the first steps of a new language or, like in my case, something more broad like achieving better discipline or learning to plan more efficiently.

6. Use the challenge as a journal. Especially if you don’t own one, it is nice to be able to read what you did on the previous days of the challenge to check how your overall performance is going. Express yourself, tell us about your day in the description of those cute pics you took early on. I don’t like to write a lot nor get too personal, but it’s nice to describe better how you think you did one day or which other things that are not related to the challenge happened to you that day, very briefly. It’s a very nice way to engage with the studyblr community and get to know each other as well!

7. Not all days have to be extremely productive. It’s ok to be tired, sick, or fall a bit out of track! It is enough if in a low day you manage to do something tiny like tidy your room, as I would for sure consider a success to fight tiredness to do at least one thing. Don’t be too hard on yourself, normally it’s not possible to be an excellent student for 100 days in a row.

8. Tips on pictures. Last but not least here I have a compilation of easy and quick tips for those who are a bit lost in the ‘What to post?’ department:

  • Things you can photograph that might look cute: your notes, your planner or bujo, the book you’re currently reading, your desk, some stationery, your computer, the library, your textbook, the trees you manage to plant in Forest…
  • Things that you can add to your picture to jazz it up: stationery, beauty products (hand cream, lipstick/lip balm, face mask…), snacks (fruit, cake, pop corn, sweets…), drinks (tea, coffee, hot chocolate, smoothy…), a cozy sweater or blanket, jewelry, your pencil case, your glasses, a plant, your bag, electronics (tablet, headphones, mouse…), your watch, a candle…
  • Vary your background once in a while. Very optional, but it’s a way to not have very repetitive pictures. Use your desk, your floor, your bed sheets, a piece of paper… depending on which ‘vibe’ you’re feeling that day.
  • Be true to yourself! You don’t have to go with what’s ‘trendy’ in the community if you don’t like it. If you like pictures au naturel, don’t edit them a lot; if you like greens to pop a lot, add a filter that makes that effect. You do you!
  • If you can, take the pictures in the morning. It is less likely that you forget to do it if you don’t postpone it, plus most of the people find natural lighting more beautiful than artificial.
  • You don’t have to post something study-related if you don’t want to. What you did in your break, your work-out session and your meal outside with a friend are also valid, if you consider them part of the productive stuff you made that day.
  • Don’t overthink it. I just grab a couple of things that I’ve been using and the first things I can think of to ‘decorate’ the picture. I do a quick arrangement and a very simple editing and done! The whole process can take me as much four minutes of my time in days in which I am not very inspired. The challenge is call ‘100 days of productivity’, not ‘100 days of studyblr aesthetic’, so don’t worry a lot about it. Honestly, your favourite pictures may not do as well as you thought, while that one that you didn’t fancy as much might get a lot of feedback, you can never guess it beforehand. The most important thing is to remember that this challenge is to improve yourself, not your studyblr account, and your success in it is measured by your work, not the number of your notes.

All I have to say is good luck to anybody that wants to give this a chance! Enjoy and learn about yourselves (and about a bunch of other things), we’re all cheering for you!

Impatient

A “Millenium” post-ep fluff piece that randomly popped into my head. Didn’t fit with any of my prompts, unfortunately. But here you go. 

“Scully, where are you?”

Having blindly answered the phone, barely awake, Scully swallows. Her mouth is dry, her eyes refuse to open, and why is Mulder calling her at this hour anyway? Whatever hour it is. Didn’t she just take him home after the hospital? After that kiss? Oh, that kiss.

“Scully?” His voice gets louder, sounds impatient.  

“I’m here.” She mumbles into her pillow before she turns her head to look at the time: 4.42 am. Oh, Mulder, why.

“You’re not here,” he sounds strangely accusatory, she thinks still trying to wake up; he might be fine with just two or three hours of sleep, even drugged up, but she’s not. “You left.” He finishes.

“I went home, Mulder. Like I said I would.” Her brain refuses to come up with the exact dialogue, but she knows she told him she’d be back tomorrow. Considering the time then and now she might have used the words ‘later today’. She never said she’d stay with him. She knows because she had to make herself leave.

“You said you’d stay.” She can practically hear him pout on the other end of the line.

“Mulder,” Scully sighs, “I drove you home and I said I’d be back later.” There’s a pause on his side and Scully’s eyes, which she just managed to open somewhat, are in danger of falling shut again. This is the reason she wanted to go home, why she didn’t stay with Mulder. That and the fact that she thought he’d be out for a couple of hours. She had given him the good, strong stuff. Even that was no match for his determination, it seems. He didn’t want her to leave of course (and part of her really wanted to stay, too). His hands took liberties after they left the hospital. After another push forward – the world didn’t end, no it didn’t – a first, tentative kiss. Now touching. They were doing this slowly, without words, just testing the waters. Except Mulder, on painkillers or not, tended to jump in. She didn’t stop him when he planted his hand on her thigh in the car. Or when he leaned heavily against her when she followed him upstairs. She even gave him another gentle peck right before she left. But she knew she couldn’t stay. Because of this. Before this could go further, and there was no doubt that it would, she needed to think about it. She couldn’t do it when Mulder stared at her like a puppy, when his hands roamed over her body; when his whole presence fogged up the reasonable part of her brain.

“It’s later now, Scully.” His voice, still pouting (she hears it, she truly does), jolts her back to the present moment.

“Mulder, it’s the middle of the night. Why don’t you take another dose of painkillers and sleep? I’ll be there in the morning-”

“It’s morning.”

“Later in the morning.”

“I could drive over to your apartment.”

“Mulder, your arm is in a sling. You can’t drive.” Scully pinches her nose. She can barely move; her own body, without the aid of painkillers, reminds her that she’s not getting any younger.

“I can drive with one arm, Scully. I told you.”

“You can’t, Mulder. Or you shouldn’t. Just stay where you are, all right? I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” He’s quiet again and as much as Scully longs for him to hang up the phone so she can go back to sleep, she knows the silence is not a good sign.

“I shouldn’t have done it, huh?” His voice is barely above a whisper, breaks and Scully sits up in bed, awake now.

“What are you talking about?”

“Kissing you. I shouldn’t have done it. It was too soon.”

“Oh, Mulder,” Scully murmurs, “you did nothing wrong. I loved the kiss.” She flushes when she realizes what she’s just said.

“You did?” Now she can hear him grin. It makes her smile, puts her in a better mood despite the wake-up call and her exhaustion.

“Yeah, Mulder. I did.”

“So I can – we can – do it again?”

“I was counting on it.” Scully admits.

“I’m coming over now, Scully.”

“Mulder, no! You’re not supposed to drive with your arm.”

“But Scully…” The pout makes a comeback. Scully sighs again; it feels like she never stopped sighing once. She gets up, feels her weary bones and stretches.

“You stay where you are, Mulder,” she tells him a voice he knows means business and he’s quiet, “I’ll be there in half an hour, all right?” Without turning on the lights, she grabs random pieces of clothes; it doesn’t matter anyway. She doubts they’ll spend much time outside. Her stomach tingles thinking about it, about what she’s about to do; what they’re about to do soon. So very soon.

“I could be at your place in 20 minutes, Scully.” Mulder’s impatience distracts her, makes her roll her eyes.

“Mulder, if you want a repeat performance of that kiss and if you want to go further than that – ever – you will stay where you are. Understood?” Another pause that gives her enough time to roam through her closet.

“Uhm, Scully…” She knows that tone; he’s guilty. He’s done something stupid.

“Mulder, what?” Scully doesn’t get an answer. Instead she hears a knock on her front door. She startles and pads barefoot to answer. She looks through the peep hole even though she knows. Of course she knows.

“Hi.” Mulder smiles sheepishly, phone still in hand, his other arm in its sling at least.

“Mulder.” Is all she says; she wants to be angry. She wants to yell at him, wants to strangle him even maybe, but instead she drags him in by his good arm, closes the door and pushes him against it. She’s on tiptoe and he still has to lower his head. Not that she cares. Let him suffer some more, she thinks.

“Told you I could drive with one arm.” He whispers against her lips and Scully doesn’t want to argue with him and so she captures his lips with hers and seals their fate. She’s not going to get any sleep any time soon that’s for certain.

Nothing Could Compare

Originally posted by sparklingnifflers


Note to self : Needs to be proofread again

A/N : Sorry guys! I know its been a while since I’ve posted but I was lying in bed and this idea just came to me. I thought it was a good prompt and rushed to write it out for you guys to read so here you go~! I hope you guys like it c: (Please excuse it if it absolutely horrible, I haven’t wrote for Newt in a while)

- Newt is stressed about finishing his book and has been ignoring Y/N by spending more time in his case and with his creatures rather than with her. Y/N was ok with it for a while but soon it becomes too much. -


It’s been a whole two weeks and you were starting to lose faith in your relationship with Newt. The stability you felt was crumbling from underneath your feet as you continued to avoid confronting him about it. 

You knew better than to do so though. You understood that it was no one’s fault other than your own. Communication was one of the most important factors in a relationship and if you were feeling like this way, it was up to you to speak up about it. 

You knew you had to do it but you just wanted to try to figure out why first.
You didn’t know what had happened for him to be acting like this. The only time you’d see him out of the case was to grab something then he’d rush back inside without a single glance or word. You had tried to start dozens of conversations with him either when you’d bring him something to eat or with a cup of his favorite tea but he’d just brush you off and walk in the other direction. 

You knew that you needed to voice your concerns and communicate instead of waiting for something to magically happen but you were scared of what he’d say to you. After pacing around the room for a few more minutes, you came to understand that one of the main reasons you were reluctant to say anything were to spare your feelings.

It hurt seeing your relationship become like this. Your heart basically cracked and crumbled under all the anxiety and stress this was causing you. With every cold shoulder and if you got lucky an emotionless reply, it felt like he was talking another step away from you and soon you’d be alone. 

The flat the two of you shared and started to call home after settling from your travels didn’t give you as much comfort as it was before. It had grown cold without Newt there, smiling and laughing. You tried to keep busy by cleaning up and running errands to keep Newt’s supplies up to stock but your mind would always drift back to him.

You missed him though. You missed seeing him smile, hearing him laugh, and curling your fingers through his soft auburn hair while the two of you lied down on the couch. 

The pacing stopped and you soon found yourself planted on to the floor. Searching through your mind, you looked for anything that may have caused him to act this way but as usual, nothing.

What happened? You seemed to have asked yourself that question dozens of times now. You had to be overlooking something… You continued to beat yourself up until something new popped into your mind. 

What if he lost interest in you? 

The sudden new thought nailed you to the floor. Maybe that was it and he didn’t know how to break it to you. Newt was never the one to express his thoughts or feelings about people if he knew that it would cause a problem or upset them. So perhaps that was why he was avoiding you, to give himself time to think of a way to break it you. 


Keep reading

Seek Me

Just something that came to me, mainly due to @the-nerd-book-reader, because she’s an incredible writer and her most recent post is absolutely amazing (read it here: https://the-nerd-book-reader.tumblr.com/post/167157547623/ill-stay/embed)


Harry was sprayed on one of the eight-year common room sofas, with a book in his hands. Hermione had recommended it to him, and he had been quite sceptical to read it at first, but he was genuinely enjoying it now. He was so caught up in it that he didn’t even notice Malfoy and Zabini entering the room.

“I’m not doing this, Blaise, you’re completely deranged if you think I’m going to kiss him!” Draco hissed.

“A bet is a bet, Draco. You agreed to it, now you have to do it!” Blaise smirked. He saw the opportunity and he took it. He knew about Draco’s attraction to Potter before Draco himself had figured it out, and he knew that if he hadn’t taken action, Draco would continue to whine about Potter for the rest of the school year, and he was having none of that. “I’m helping you here! If it weren’t for this bet, you would never have to guts to do anything about that obsession of yours with The Boy Who Lived!”

“It’s not an obsession! What the hell is wrong with you? I was drunk when we made that stupid bet, you can’t possibly be serious about this!”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, Draco. You know just as well as I do that you meant it when you said you would do anything to kiss Potter. There’s even a saying about it. Drunk mind, sober thoughts? I don’t know and I don’t really care, to be honest. You swore on it. You even insisted on a magical bet. That was on you. Now you have to do it, so go right ahead. The sooner the better.”

Draco was terrified. Merlin knew how much he wanted to kiss Potter. But having the guts to actually go through with it? That was a whole different story. He had no choice. The magical bet forced him do to what was arranged in the bet, otherwise he would start experiencing a light dizziness that would only increase if he didn’t do what he was supposed to. He hated Blaise. He would cut him in pieces and feed them to the Lake Squid once this was all over. He took a deep breath.

“Potter.” He didn’t hear him.

“Potter!” Potter looked up from his book.

“Hey Malfoy. What’s going on?” Harry asked, confused.

“Hmm… I…” Draco was stuttering. He glanced over at Blaise, who only smirked at him and muttered something along the lines of “Go on.”

“You see, Blaise and I made this bet… A magical bet. And I lost. Meaning I have to… Uh… Kiss you.” Draco couldn’t bring himself to look into Potter’s eyes. He was way too embarrassed.

After what felt like ages, Draco finally looked up. Potter was staring at him, wide-eyed.

“Potter, I…”

“It’s ok, Malfoy.” Draco’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“It’s ok. I’ve been asked to do weirder things, if I’m being honest. And we’re friends now. It’s fine.” Harry said, with a half-smile.

Draco just stood there with a dumbfound look on his face. He had never expected Potter to accept it so easily, he thought it would take a lot of convincing to get Potter to kiss him.

“So, are you going to kiss me or…?” Harry asked.

Draco was snapped out of his shock by the reality of the whole situation. This was actually happening. He was going to kiss the boy he’d been dreaming about for the past months. It was overwhelming.

Before Potter could change his mind, Draco grabbed him by his robes and placed his lips on his. For a few seconds, he just stood there, with his lips completely still against Potter’s. And then something inside him broke, and he started moving his lips. Potter’s lips followed the motion, and they started moving messily against each other. Draco thought this was as good as it would get until he felt Potter’s tongue slowly licking his bottom lip. Without even thinking about it, Draco tilted his head, allowing them to deepen the kiss, before meeting Potter’s tongue. They moved slowly against each other, tasting and licking, in a gentle motion. Draco was feeling incredibly light-headed. He had dreamed about kissing Potter for more times than he cared to admit it, but Merlin help him, it was better. It was so much better. It was actually incomparable. Goosebumps coursed through him as he felt Potter’s tongue against his. Potter was enjoying this just as much as he was, and it was driving him insane.

Draco was running out of breath so he decided to stop. A million thoughts crossed his mind as he looked into Potter’s green eyes. He couldn’t read his expression, he had no idea what Potter was thinking.

“Malfoy, I…” Draco didn’t let him finish his sentence. He immediately took off to the dormitories.

Harry was incredulous. He had just kissed Draco Malfoy. And he had enjoyed every single second of it. He had never kissed anyone like that. Not Cho. Not Ginny. And it confused the hell out of him. He had never really thought of Malfoy that way. They had become friends over the past months, after a very much needed three-hour conversation in which they just poured every single thought that had accumulated throughout the years. Harry knew Malfoy wasn’t a Death Eater, not truly. He did what he did for his family, and even though he didn’t agree with Malfoy’s actions, he acknowledged his motives, because he himself would do anything for the ones he loves. And now they had a completely new dynamic. Malfoy was the only one that was truly able to challenge him, and Harry hadn’t really realised what that meant for him, not until now. Now that he had had a taste of Malfoy’s soft lips and wicked tongue, he realised that maybe they could be more than friends.

With these thoughts in mind, he headed towards the dormitories.

-

Harry spent the following week thinking about Malfoy. He just couldn’t get him out of his head. He became way too aware of Malfoy’s physical features. He had known for a long time now that Malfoy was attractive, no one in their right mind would deny that, but now he was able to really focus on all the details. And Merlin, did they drive him mad. Malfoy’s facial features alone drove Harry insane. His face was perfectly shaped, with hollow cheekbones, an incredibly prominent jaw, a pointy nose, sure, but attractive all the same. And his eyes. Harry had never given much thought to Malfoy’s eyes until now. He realised grey was not a particularly common colour when it came to irises, and Harry thought they were stunning.

Harry also secretly loved their height difference, because feeling Malfoy leaning down to kiss him had felt bloody fantastic. And Malfoy’s style was impeccable. Harry would still find him attractive if he wore the ugliest pieces of clothing in the world, but there was no doubt that his sense of fashion was pristine. And that made him even more attractive.

Merlin, I’m way too caught up in this!” Harry thought.

-

Draco was a wreck. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss he had shared with Potter. He dreamt about it every single night for the following week. And he took all his effort to avoid Potter. He couldn’t really face him. He felt Potter’s eagerness when they were kissing, but when he looked into his eyes, something had told him that he was setting himself up for disaster. So he ran away. And he would avoid Potter until the end of the year, if that was all it took for him to stop feeling so unsettled. Of course Merlin was not on his side.

-

After a whole week of daydreaming of soft pink lips, platinum blonde hair and piercing grey eyes, Harry couldn’t take it any longer. He saw Malfoy in one of the corridors, and grabbed him by his arm towards an empty cupboard nearby.

“Potter, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! Let go of me!” Draco fumed.

“Malfoy, we need to talk about that kiss.”

Draco’s cheeks started to redden. “There’s nothing to talk about, it was just a stupid bet.”

“Then why have you been ignoring me?”

“Because… We’re friends! I was too embarrassed, I don’t know…”

“Malfoy, it’s fine! A kiss wouldn’t ruin our friendship!”

“Are you sure?” Draco was concerned. He treasured his friendship with Harry and he didn’t want his feelings to ruin it.

“Yes, I’m sure! But Malfoy… That kiss…”

“Potter, I already told you, it was just a bet.”

“Just a bet? That was all that it was?”

“Yes! Can’t you just leave it alone?”

Harry scowled. He knew he hadn’t been the only one enjoying that kiss. But Malfoy was stubborn. He knew he would never talk about it openly. Unless… A wild thought crossed his mind.

“I have a proposition for you.”

“What? What are you on about, Potter?”

“Since you seem so keen on taking bets, how about we make one as well?”

Draco furrowed his eyebrows, a look of apparent confusion on his face.

“I know I’m not the only that misses our Quidditch matches. Now that we can’t take part in the school’s teams, how about we play a one-on-one? You, me and a snitch.”

“A seeker’s match?”

“That’s right. And if you win, I’ll never talk about that kiss again.”

“Ok… What if I lose?”

“If you lose, we get to kiss again.”

Draco’s face turned crimson. Potter couldn’t possibly be serious.

“Are you messing with me right now, Potter?”

“No, I’m not. Why? Are you scared?”

“I’m not scared, it’s just…”

“What? Can’t take a little challenge?” Harry smirked. He knew that was the best way to get a reaction out of Malfoy.

“Of course I can! It’s just…”

“It’s settled then! Saturday. 5 pm. I’ll see you there!”

Potter stormed out of the cupboard, leaving Draco completely unguarded.

“What the hell has just happened?” Draco muttered. He was in so much trouble. He desperately wanted to drop the whole kiss thing, because he knew he wasn’t prepared to admit that there had been a lot more to it than just the bet, even though the bet had been the only reason why he had stepped forward. He was just scared. Potter was too much for him, he knew it. He was too good, and Draco knew he didn’t deserve him. But at the same time, he was aching to kiss Potter again. He had never felt anything remotely like what he felt when he was kissing him.

“Now I’m definitely going to kill Blaise, this is all his fault!” Draco kicked the door, and took off.

-

Saturday had finally come. The word got around that they were going to play against each other, so, obviously, half the school showed up. Draco was scared out of his wits. It was too late to back down now. He had tried to give up several times but Potter didn’t allow him to. He felt like he could hex the git right now.

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Potter (that had become a normal occurrence in the past months). He was walking towards him, in his old Gryffindor uniform, looking as good as he could. Draco hated the prat for being so damn attractive.

“We have an audience.” Harry stated, as he smiled at him.

“I could tell.” Malfoy frowned.

“Ok, then. I’ll release the snitch, then we’ll wait for 30 seconds, and then we can take off. Got it?”

“Potter, I’m not stupid.” Malfoy rolled his eyes.

“Alright. Let’s do this then.”

Harry released the snitch, and then proceeded to wait. The 30 seconds felt like a whole lifetime. Then, the time was over and they were both taking off on their brooms.

They both started circling around the pitch, trying to find a spot to get a proper view. Once they both found said spot, they waited. And waited. For 10 whole minutes, all they did was wait. Until Harry caught a glimpse of something shimmery to his right, and he took off, following it. Draco had seen it too, and promptly followed Harry. They were both flying incredibly fast. The snitch was following a straight line, that was leading them to the Forbidden Forest. Then, at the very last minute, it turned left and went into an arc towards the centre of the pitch. Draco had come to a halt stop, right behind Harry. They both turned towards the centre of the pitch, trying to catch the snitch. Just as they were both approaching it, it took a sudden turn and took off in another direction. This continued for about 20 minutes.

Draco was starting to think this whole situation was preposterous. Maybe it had all been a scheme that Potter had come up with. Either way, he was growing tired. And so was Potter. They were both flying side by side now, and he could hear Potter’s breath starting to fault. He decided to look at him, and Potter returned the look. Which was just what Draco needed, because he suddenly saw the snitch flying right next to Potter’s head. Without giving it much thought, he lunged himself forward, trying to get a hold of the golden ball, knocking Potter over in the process. They both fell off their brooms but Draco managed to slow them down before they hit the ground. They were soon lying on the floor. Draco was standing right on top of Potter. He could feel Potter’s harsh lines against his body, and he couldn’t help but get turned on by it. His left hand was supporting him by staying flat pressed against Potter’s chest. And his lower region was standing right above Potter’s. He felt himself twitch at the contact, and soon realised he was hard. And he saw it in Potter’s eyes that he had realised it too. Draco flushed angrily, but before he could embarrass himself even further, he felt something move against the palm of his right hand, that was closed around it. Draco opened his hand and saw that it was the snitch. He had caught it. He had won. He heard people cheering in the back, but he couldn’t focus, not when he was lying against Potter like that. He quickly got up, shook the dirt off his Quidditch uniform, and darted to the locker room, without even glancing at his friends, who were coming down off the stands to congratulate him.

Harry stood there lying on the ground for a couple of minutes, processing everything that had just happened. Malfoy had won the match. He was so convinced he would win, giving in to the prospect of kissing Malfoy again, but he had lost. Which meant he couldn’t bring up the kiss ever again. And that pained him. But at the same time… Malfoy had got hard over the contact they had just shared. Which meant Malfoy was attracted to him. He wouldn’t let that go. He quickly got up, not even bothering to clean himself up, and trailed off after Malfoy.

Harry soon entered the locker room, and didn’t see Malfoy at first. After wandering around, he found him sitting in one of the showers, with his hands on his face.

“Malfoy…”

“Go away, Potter! We had a deal. I won!”

“I know, but we need to talk about what just happened out there…”

“What…” Draco’s eyes widened in horror, as his cheeks turned crimson again. “That… That was nothing.”

“That was hardly nothing, Malfoy! Why won’t you talk to me?!”

“I can’t, alright?! I don’t want to ruin this friendship we’ve built.”

“You won’t ruin it, trust me!”

“But I will. I’m serious, Harry. You’re too good. This would never work…”

Harry gasped. Malfoy had just used his first name, which meant he was being completely serious. “What are you talking about? Too good?” Harry was insanely confused.

“Yes, too good! You’re too good for me! I don’t deserve someone like you!” Draco was practically yelling at him. “After everything I’ve done…”

Harry felt a lump forming in his throat. Malfoy… No, Draco thought he wasn’t worthy of him. He thought Harry was too good for him. And that hurt him.

“Draco, please don’t say that! You’re worthy, so worthy! You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me this past week. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss. You and have have built such a great friendship, and trust me when I tell you that I treasure it more than anything else. And that kiss we shared, it only made me realise that you and I, that we have the potential to be something more. And I’m perfectly aware of our differences, and of what has happened in the past, but I’ve moved on. And you should let go of it too. That is the only way for you to be truly happy. And believe me when I say there is nothing that I want more at the moment than to make you happy. I want this. I want us.”

Draco looked at him, with water in his eyes, as he let out a sob. Harry quickly put his arms around him, hugging him, as if he were protecting him of all the evil in the world.

“You’re amazing, Harry.” Draco whispered to his ear.

“You’re not so bad either.” Harry chuckled.

Draco playfully pushed him away, and smiled. A genuine smile. That was what Harry always wanted on Draco’s face.

“So… I know I lost but… Could you possibly consider another kiss?” Harry asked, smiling at him.

“Of course, you prat.” Draco smirked. He then proceeded to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck, pulling him, and closing the distance between them. It was a soft and gentle kiss, their tongues slowly swirling around each other.

“About what happened out there…” Draco blushed, again. Harry loved that he could get that reaction out of Draco.

“Fine! I was lying right on top of you, what did you expect?”

“Nothing! I was just thinking… Maybe we could do something about it?”

Draco laughed. “Here, in the locker room? Is that a kink of yours, Potter?”

“Scared, Malfoy?”

“You wish.”

Special Instructions (1/?)

Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website.  (AO3)
Rating: M (eventually)
Word Count: ~1700

This has been burning a hole on my desktop for a couple months now and I just really felt like if I didn’t start posting it would probably never get finished… I’m a couple chapters in with the writing but I think this is going to end up being like between 10 and 15 chapters, all roughly the same length if I can pull it. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway, this was gonna just be like a cheesy smut fic originally but I apparently like to overthink things and it became slightly cuter of an idea…

@stubble-sandwich THANKS FOR LETTING ME GUSH ABOUT THIS STUPID IDEA WITH YOU. Look at me, finally posting the fuckin pizza guy au… christ…

Special instructions: pls make smiley face with pepperoni, i could use something happy right now

She’d typically have left the box blank but Emma was currently full of self-pity and a little too drunk to really care how she appeared to the rest of the world.

Two years she’d spent with Walsh. Two years of warm embraces and whispered I love you’s and sweet kisses and integrating him into her close-knit group of friends despite some heavy resistance – especially from David; she reminded herself to give her brother a hug later for trying – and for what? 

For him to just “reconnect” with his ex at what was supposed to be their engagement party?

“I’m so sorry, Em. I never meant to hurt you like this. It just… happened. I can’t help how I feel.”

She scoffed in disgust. What an asshole. A total prick.

She finished off her fifth – sixth? – bottle of beer and popped open another. Maybe after another few she’d forget the sight of him with his tongue down that other woman’s throat. Maybe she’d forget the shock and guilt on his face when she’d dropped her glass of champagne at seeing them together, stunned to see her betrothed blatantly cheating on her by the bathrooms while their party guests mulled about in the main room, completely clueless.

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little things | school series 7

characters: you x guanlin

summary: a collection of moments with a shy, but thoughtful guanlin

quote: “actions speak louder than words”

school series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10  | 11 

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anonymous asked:

how did you get so good at character & story analysis? like you only started homestuck near the end, and in that short time you've developed a deeper understanding of the characters and themes than people who have been involved for years (i.e. me, a dumbass who only figures this shit out after people like you talk insightfully about it).

I honestly & truly believe that I benefited TREMENDOUSLY from starting near the end, actually. When you start at the end of Homestuck, you get to read the entire thing at once, the way you would experience most types of heavy narrative focused media. You get the whole story in one (months long in my case but at least continuous) bite. 

When you are following any media update by update – this goes for like, everything, comics, TV, etc – you tend to be more easily distracted and misled by both intentional and unintentional red herrings. Like, so many Big Historical Homestuck Fandom Arguments were ROOTED in tons of significance being attributed to things that, on a fresh archival read, were completely inconsequential. When a 10 page update ends on a cliffhanger and you don’t get another update for a week, that’s a week that the entire fandom has to tear itself apart over every tiny little detail in those ten pages, because that’s all they had. And they did. 

And some of those little details mattered, of course, but MOST of them didn’t. It’s that old adage about “can’t see the forest but for the trees.” When you’re following something bite by bite, the bite in front of you is the Most Important Bite, repeated for every new update, forever, and it completely skews your reading and perception of something because it’s so much harder to plug This Piece into the bigger picture. You don’t really care about the bigger picture, because the whole story is years or months or whatever away from being done, you in fact don’t know if it will ever even truly finish, and what matters is what you have in the moment. 

More importantly this leads to just like. Rampant fanon. Just rampant, rampant fanon stuff completely based off hyperfocusing on individual updates and taking every little thing from them and going hog wild. In the spaces between updates, the fandom gives the canon a new layer of meaning. The fandom fills gaps with its own interpretation of what’s going on without the benefit of knowing what’s next. The fandom decides what it WANTS to come next and huge swathes of dedicated, passionate people are either disappointed horribly when they’re wrong or vindicated when they’re right or somewhere in between. 

So you get like… I guess the biggest example of this is the Retcon. 

I have never met an archival reader, someone who did not start homestuck until the ending or just before the final updates, who hates the Retcon. I have met some who will talk about what it could have done better, and the ways in which the device succeeded or failed, and some with mixed opinion, but I have never ever met an archival reader that HATES the Retcon with the passion that so many of those people who read update by update do. 

I know people who I otherwise respect and regard highly who like, for example, can’t get into Davekat as a pairing because it’s representative of the Retcon to them and it ruins it completely because they cannot connect to it or see it as “real.” 

Because a week between updates is one thing, but eight months? an entire year? That was a LOT of time for people to get attached to things the way they were in those pre-pause updates. That was a LOT of time for people to pore over every piece of canon that came before those pauses over and over and over and over and decide what they wanted and become SO attached to the characters and story and plotlines how they were. 

My wife tells me stories about how everyone did a “homestuck ending bingo” right after the update that kicked off the long pause before Game Over. Everyone was so excited to see what would happen next, how the characters they loved so much would overcome this insane trial, how it could possibly continue, how the plotlines would resolve. 

And instead, everyone died. John came in and fixed it all by branching them to another reality, where suddenly, these things that people had spent a literal year investing in so utterly were just… gone. Erased. In some cases almost literally never mentioned again. They never got to see the resolutions they wanted and they felt it was unfair and they were duped and etc etc etc the backlash against the retcon is something every homestuck fan is familiar with. 

But to circle back to my original point – Archival readers just absolutely do not GET that. The version of Dave and Karkat and Terezi and Rose and Kanaya and Jade and John and EVERYONE that existed right up until Game Over were characters hurtling to an obvious Bad End, and the way it went down, archival readers have an easier time processing and understanding and accepting, because we didn’t have the time to get attached to point-in-time versions of things. 

My wife tells me stories of the days when Kare//zi and Joh//nKat were heavily shipped and it’s surreal to me, because from MY perspective, those were blips on a radar. Kare//zi was so early in Karkat and Terezi’s story that to me it was just like, oh, interesting, a failed relationship that informs things about both their characters that they moved on from naturally into other things. (I don’t mean to pick on that ship, btw, it’s just a good example of something that was EMBLEMATIC from a point-in-time perspective that an archival reader would never really hang so much weight on, because it’s there and then it’s gone and we didn’t have weeks and years of space between updates to ruminate on them as a couple or assume that the relationship would continue to be a flagship and how it would evolve in that role.) There are so many more examples. 

I find this with the Alphas, too – Archival readers overall seem to genuinely love the alphas more, on the whole, than people who read episodically (who tend to favor the betas, or the Act 5 trolls.) Archival readers tend to leave the experience MOST attached to characters and relationships that survived to the end, because when you read it as a full narrative beginning to end, that’s just kind of a natural thing that happens.

Anyway this post is already way too long, but my point is basically, the experience of reading homestuck from beginning to end all at once with very little knowledge of it going in is COMPLETELY different from the experience of reading it episodically. The emotions you have and the things you care about and just the FEEL of your entire experience is so different. 

And yes, I think the archival experience is “better,” when it comes to like, an understanding of the work as a whole? I don’t think this just with Homestuck, btw. I feel this way about, for instance, episodic television shows that tell ongoing continuous stories too. I much prefer to binge watch an entire series on netflix in a week than to watch every friday because I just GET things better. I feel I come away with a more complete experience. 

It’s a trade off, obviously. Reading episodically is better for like, having the FULL homestuck as an explosively popular fandom experience. Us archival people will never know what it’s like to have been around in the full swing of Homestuck’s popularity, never be able to roll around in the absolute GLUT of content that was out there, never be able to engage with SO MANY diverse voices and opinions, never be able to ride the high that comes with caring a lot about one of the most popular fandoms around. We’ll never have memories of this update or that update or what arguments and discourse and fanwork and other stuff spawned from this or that, we missed a lot of cool stuff I’m sad to have missed, and a lot of terrible stuff I’m glad to have missed, but yeah. 

But an episodic reader will never get to be able to read Homestuck from beginning to end with no preconceptions or biases formed from their earlier experience or the hopes and wants and theories they had the first time around, update to update. They’ll never get as clear a picture of the Whole Story. 

It’s a tradeoff. Idk. I’m glad I came in when I did, overall, but I think that most people feel that way about their own experience with it. 

All this to say, I think that the things I and other archival readers are able to connect over the course of the long narrative are less because of any outstanding individual ability in analysis (although I mean, obviously there is some of that or we wouldn’t be meta blogging in the first place) but rather just a simple raw advantage of extra clarity because of our late arrival.

Advice for New Voice Actors: A Guide from Codot

I’ve been getting quite a few messages asking for advice in the Voice Acting field, so I’ve written a bit of a guide! I hope it’s helpful.

First off, I would have never considered myself to be an expert on something like this, but then I realised I’ve been doing it for about twenty years now, so I guess I have SOME advice I can pass along.


PLOSIVES ARE YOUR ENEMY (AND SIBILANCE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND)!

Nothing pulls a listener out of the world you’re trying to create like those pesky pops in your recordings (Tuhs, Kuhs, and Puhs), or those sharp “Ssssss” noises that slice through the mic. Luckily, they’re fairly easy to prevent. BUT HOW?!? I’M TELLING YOU HOW! SIT DOWN! The best advice? Get yourself a pop filter. They’re relatively cheap and very effective (however, if you are BROKE AF like I was when I started recording, get an embroidery hoop and some dollar-store panty hose and you are SET. No joke – that was my first pop filter. I held it between me and the mic and it WORKED). Now sometimes a filter isn’t enough – if you’re really yelling it out, a filter will not save you. In these cases, you wanna make sure you know where your plosives are, and tilt your head accordingly. You only have to move a few degrees to avoid it – just put your hand in front of your mouth when you rehearse and you can feel where your air is coming from. Just don’t do the whole performance pointed away from the mic – it will hollow your sound out.


FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN! LEND ME YOUR GEAR!

You do NOT need top of the line gear to sound good; your performance is what makes or breaks you. That said, you can’t use a headset microphone and expect studio quality. For the best quality (without breaking the bank), I recommend microphones from the Blue line – Snowballs and Yetis specifically. They’re both designed for podcasting, plug DIRECTLY into your computer, and sound incredible! I still use my Yeti every once in a while – it’s a great piece of tech!

WARNING: These microphones, although amazing, rest on your table. That means you will have to pay attention to a few things – not touching the table while recording, not moving around in your chair while recording, and (most importantly) watching your computer placement! If you’re using a laptop, it will undoubtedly be sitting beside your mic and your mic will HATE IT. You may not hear the fan on your computer, but your microphone will. Vibrations will ruin your recordings, BUT there’s a solution! Well, two actually: You can fold a towel up, place it on the table, stack a few books on top of the towel and sit your mic on top of that, OR you can move your computer to another surface. It really depends on your space set up. Just make sure you have a USB long enough to reach the mic to the computer and you’re set.

Now, there’s the issue of reverb in your chosen room of recording. Almost every room will have an echo in it, and you will pick it up. You can prevent this a few different ways - you can spend hundreds on soundproof foam (took me a while to save up for that, totes worth it), you can record inside a closet (brilliant idea, enclosed, clothes absorb echo), or you can drape a blanket over you and your mic (gets warm fast, but it works!). Whichever way you choose, you will notice a boost in quality - the less ambient noise you have going on behind you, the better. All ambient noise in my recordings is put in AFTER I’ve finished editing my clips. It’s the same for any production - if you rely on your actual background noise for ambience, you will not be able to edit yourself properly as the cuts become too noticeable, ESPECIALLY if you’re recording a dialogue.

A quick note about SOFTWARE: I always use Adobe Audition – I enjoy the look and feel of it, and have never really used anything different. However, it’s not free! If you want a great, FREE program for audio recording, I wholly recommend Audacity! It’s a brilliant, powerful, and free program that will give you great results!


TIME FOR THE MAIN EVENT!

There has always been one thing I love about Voice Acting over Acting – No one has to LOOK AT ME. I’m not insulting myself here, I’m just saying sometimes you have to make some STUPID faces to get a voice you want. Voice Acting is incredibly freeing in this regard – you can be ANYONE or ANYTHING, and that is very exciting!

I can’t make this point enough times – in most cases, you’re doing this solo, so DON’T BE MODEST. It will hold up your performance – if you hold back in any way when voicing, you’re only hurting yourself. Sure you may feel silly doing certain things, but no one listening will think that. Some voices give me fifty chins, some cross my eyes, but if I didn’t do it, every character would sound the same.

Now let’s talk about PACING! My Friend and Mentor (may she fight well in Valhalla) gave me the best advice in this regard; she said, “If it feels like you’re going too slow, go slower.” Too often we feel we’re keeping a proper pace when recording, but the truth is we are rushing it. In an actual conversation, you haven’t rehearsed – you rarely know EXACTLY what you’re going to say to someone else, so your dialogue should be no different. Your character needs time to think, to react. If you ever want a moment of high tension, you CANNOT rush it. You need the pauses and the breaths, or else it just becomes unrealistic.

TAKE. YOUR. TIME.


CLEAN THAT FILTHY, FILTHY AUDIO!

Having clean audio has become a relatively new addition to my work – I used to simply use the Noise Reduction effect on my recording and call it a day, but it doesn’t get rid of the new bane of my existence: MOUTH NOISE.

We do it. Everyone does it. I did it five minutes ago and I’m gonna do it again. We smack our lips, we flick our tongue, we click our teeth, we make stupid noises when we’re not talking, and the MIC WILL HEAR IT. My best advice is, after reducing the noise in your audio (all programs have a basic preset to kill the dead air noises in your recordings – google it to find how to your respective noise reduction), highlight the sections between your audio and reduce the volume to ZERO. Just kill the noise between your speech (the whole sentence, not silencing between every word, that would be crazy) – you can leave the sound of your inhales in if you want, but even they can be taken away for a cleaner sound. Just make sure you don’t chop your words off – especially the ends of your words.

Make sure you clean your audio BEFORE you add ANY form of reverb or echo! Otherwise cleaning is impossible.


FINAL THOUGHTS FROM A MADMAN!

Voice Acting isn’t easy. Nothing infuriates me more than actors talking about how they like Voice Acting because it’s “EASY”. If it’s easy, you’re not trying hard enough. You have to convey thoughts, feelings, and ideas ALL WITH JUST YOUR VOICE. Anyone who says it’s easy is a fool.

Always try your best to create something you feel proud of. You take as many takes as you need, but never compromise your quality for the sake of just getting it done.

If you can’t get a voice down right today? Do it tomorrow.

Above all else: HAVE FUN WITH IT


I hope this has been helpful to you – if you have any questions about specific things/things I may have missed, shoot me a message!

Love,
Codot xx

anonymous asked:

How do I reveal large amounts of backstory without resorting to massive paragraphs of exposition dump? I have two characters who hold a grudge based on something convoluted that happened a year before the start of the book, and their ongoing feud fuels much of the character conflict in the story, but I can't figure out how to show readers what happened without a massive exposition wall and/or cheesy flashback...

[ Warning: Extremely long post and explicit language/themes ahead! ]

You’d be surprised at how much impact even the smallest hints can carry. Audiences are typically a lot more receptive than most media gives them credit for these days, and can pick up on a lot of things, even when they’re not stated explicitly.

“You’ll like it here,” Sarah said, nodding her head toward one of the tables in the back. Abigail followed her. “It’s not the best school in the county, but at least it’s better than Griggs. I heard that three of their teachers had to be put on house arrest last year because of some—”

She was cut off when she collided with the girl in front of her, who had stopped abruptly in the middle of the aisle to talk to someone at the table next to them. The girl turned around, and her expression soured when she saw who had bumped into her.

“Sarah,” she said curtly.

“Hannah,” Sarah replied, shoving past her without meeting her eyes.

Even without either of the characters explaining it, you can tell that Sarah and Hannah have a history that Abigail (and the reader) are as yet unaware of. There’s an implication that there’s a mutual dislike there, but we’re not totally sure why, nor how deep it goes. This sets the stage for reading into future actions to try to gain further context clues.

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MATTERS (G.D)

A/N: Soooo I’ve been gone for a couple of days, dealing with things mentally but I’m fine! I promise. I can’t say I’ll be back for good right now, I’ll probably take another few days off to collect myself, but I’m not leaving. I will come back. Writing was my safe place so that’s what I did, I switched the request up a bit because Gray having a panic attack is too commonly written, I’d rather write something new like him breaking down emotionally. It kind of fit how I was feeling at the time when I wrote this as well. I didn’t (still dont) know why some of my “friends” are my friends, why I consider them friends when they aren’t. Idk, I just hope you enjoy.

Request:  so could you do an imagine where grayson has a panic attack and you help him, both you and him are crying because he scared you and ahh it would be very cute

Word Count: 3,300 +
Warnings: Fluff, sad beginning, cute ending :) 

Originally posted by rosesdolan


“Do my fans even love me, for me?”

Your head flew to the side, Grayson’s back slowly coming into focus. It was the kind of night that was dark, and mysterious. The kind of night you would rather stay at home cuddling than be out and about doing whatever teens would be doing at this hour. Blankets of darkness already consumed the bedroom, the only light being the one that was currently shedding in from the window. Your eyes glossed over Grayson’s sun-kissed skin. Taking in the flesh of his back, littered in tiny beauty marks which were scattered and his flexing muscles. His back dimples shifted as he kicked out his leg over the covers, an obnoxiously loud sigh escaping his lips. You remained still but your eyes followed each and every one of Grayson’s movements, watching intensely as he rolled onto his back, his tongue darting out to swipe across his bottom lip.

“I know I’m a good-looking guy. That’s obvious right?” His head snapped to the side so his hazel orbs clashed with yours, you simply nodded and propped your head up onto your elbow, chewing on your lower lip as Grayson continued speaking. “Is that all they see me for?” You swallowed thickly, your eyes shifting from Grayson’s eyes to the duvet draped across both your bodies. He nodded, already knowing the answer and turned to face the ceiling once more. “Gray–” You extended an arm, reaching out to lace your hands together but Grayson simply tugged it away. “No, It’s fine. I’m fine” He muttered gloomily, the lie he told was heavy in his voice, but you had already knew.  

“You’re not.”

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In His Lap (Mick x Plus Size! Reader) Imagines - Request

*~*~*~*~*
A/N:

To my darling anon,

I hope you don’t mind; but I actually combined your idea with another reader’s request, since it was very similar to yours. In addition to, I apologize for the late post. Due to technical difficulties - and just the fact that life sorta got in the way - I am turning this piece into a New Year’s prompt. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, dear anon, but, if you find that you aren’t happy with the piece, please let me know and I’ll write you a seperate Christmas one…!

With love,
reversephysics

*~*~*~*~*
Imagine:
Kendra tries to get you to talk to Mick at the New Year’s Eve Party. At first, you said no; but, after taking a shot, you gained the courage you needed…

*~*~*~*~*

“Talk to him!”

“I can’t!”

“You can!”

“No, I can’t!”

“Yes , ________, you can!” Crossing her arms, Kendra gave you a gently scolding look. “Please do yourself a favor and just walk over there.”

Upon hearing her suggestion, you flushed bright red.

While you have had a crush on Mick for the past few weeks now, you still had yet to start a conversation with the pyromaniac; much less, confess your feelings to him.

Chances were he probably never noticed you.

I mean, who would? Your harsh inner voice scoffed. You’re not pretty, you have no sex appeal and - worst of all - you’re fat. What kind of guy would want THAT?

A small part of you hoped it would be Mick.

Though many assumed there wasn’t much to the guy - what, with his brutish behavior and vulgar language - a part of you liked to think there was more to him.

That he would somehow accept you the way you were.

Peering over at the poker table across the room, you watched your darling hulk of a man play against Leonard and Jax. His brows furrowed, he focused all his attention towards the hand he was dealt with.

You bit your lip. He just looks so…badass.

“Oh my god, ________,” Kendra turned her eyes up to the heavens, before shaking her head. It was her typical ‘don’t-make-me-do-this’ gesture. “You’re a great girl! You could so go over there and say ‘hi’! He’s not that complex of a man to talk to, anyway…”

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Imagine Chris finding out you wrote his favorite love story.

A/N: Part 2 is here, yo! :) You can find the previous parts here: (Unexpected Reader - Part 1) I’m really liking where this is going, do you? ❤️

After Chris returned with your second vanilla latte, and his first green tea- he wasn’t a coffee person unless his schedule needed him to be- the both of you chatted at your corner table in Starbucks. The way you talked to each other, it was like two old friends rather than a fan with her celebrity crush. You’d started the conversation incredibly nervous; you’d had to hide your clammy palms under your butt in fear that he’d reach over and give your hand another pat or gentle squeeze. But the more you talked to Chris, the calmer you became about the whole situation. You didn’t know what it was about him that normalized him despite his celebrity status and deadly good looks, but for a second- you could almost forget that you were talking to Chris Evans.

Believe it or not, Chris was everything you’d imagined he’d be, and more- if that was even possible. The way you’d portrayed him in your stories was- as far as you could see- a hundred and ten percent accurate. The man was sweet, kind, funny, intelligent, and real. Chris was real, he was real with his questions, his comments, and his interest in what you had to say. You were so lost in the conversation- in his darling blue eyes- that you forgot to take some notes so you could write a piece based around this once in a lifetime meeting, though you doubt you needed anything to remind you of this interaction. You were pretty sure this was something you were going to remember on your deathbed, which was surely moments away if he continued to smile at you the way he was.

Now the realistic side of you reminded you not to fall too hard for, or get too attached to the man you clearly had no chance with; you had to know that Chris was just talking to you to pass time in a boring airport. But the hopelessly romantic and imaginative side of you said otherwise; Chris wasn’t the kind of guy who would approach a girl unless he was genuinely interested, be it romantically, or platonically. You may not have known him personally, but you knew he wasn’t the kind of guy who would lead people on, or use people. You’d watched enough interviews, read enough articles and fan encounters, and written enough fan fiction to know that he was a genuinely nice guy who was worth befriending and loving if you were ever lucky enough to acquire those chances. Perhaps you didn’t have a chance at being his girlfriend like you’d always dreamed of, but maybe- just maybe, you had a chance at being his friend.

“So tell me, Y/N.” He began and smiled when he saw how much more relaxed you were with him now than you were at the start of the conversation. Your hands had dried and returned to thrum the tabletop quietly as you waited for him to finish his sentence. “What made you want to pursue screen writing?”

“Would you believe me if I said you?” You quizzed with a small smile, which grew wider when you saw him smile. You started explaining when you saw his facials prompt a continuation, “I um- I’ve always loved writing, ever since I was kid. I liked making up stories, imagining all the different lives I could live and all the different jobs I could do. It was a good escape from my mundane life,” you admitted with pursed lips. “But uh- I never really thought about turning it into a career until I started writing fan fiction about you on Tumblr.”

“How do you mean?”

“I wrote as an escape,” you said and he nodded, acknowledging what you’d told him earlier “I took myself into a different world where I could have the perfect life with the perfect guy so I could feel better. Writing was like a safe haven, a place where nothing bad could get to me. It made me happy and I realized…” You trailed off, licking your dry lips. “There must be a lot of people like me out there who needed someone else to be, someone wonderful to be with. I just- there had to be someone out there who needed a safe haven too.”

“So you started posting on Tumblr,” he finished for you and you nodded.

“I started out pretty slow, I had a few likes here and there. Um- It took a while for me to build a fan base, but eventually- I had a reasonable number of readers who supported all my pieces. A lot of them thanked me for writing something that took their mind off a bad day. Some thanked me for making them smile and-” You felt your eyes welled with tears of joy; you were still touched every time you talked about your interactions with your readers. “And some would tell me that my stories gave them a reason to hold out for a love as strong as the ones I wrote about.”

Chris smiled as he listened to you answer his question in great detail with an indescribable amount of pride and passion. He felt his heart flutter as he unknowingly starting falling for you. You were a lot like the protagonist in one of his favorite love stories, which was surprisingly a Chris Evans mini series written by a fan on Tumblr. He’d found the link lodged away in his Twitter mentions, a simple sentence “you deserve a love as strong as this” caught his attention and invited him into the world of fan fiction. He spent a whole day reading the entire series and wishing he’d the life that Chris Evans had, wishing he had the girl that Chris Evans had. He was still yet to ask if you’d heard about the series, perhaps you could help him find out who wrote it because he’d love to meet and talk to the talented and obviously lovely author who surely based the second person protagonist around herself. Maybe she was the one, maybe they could get together and try to work towards the life she wrote about.

“What I thought was a hobby changed people’s lives for the better,” you continued and he nodded, smiling. “So how can I not make that into a career? How can I waste my ability to inspire and touch people through my words? To make them realize that they deserve something great? I don’t know, I’m rambling a little.” You chuckled nervously and he shook his head. “I just feel like if I can change one life, my time on this earth has been worthwhile.”

“That’s sweet,” he smiled. “Like- that’s just-” He found himself at a lost for words as he watched you intently. He chuckled softly with a shake of his head, “you’re- you’re kind of amazing, Y/N.” You felt your cheeks flush as you bit back your growing smile. “That is- that’s an amazing answer to such a simple question. But before I say anything else, I don’t think I have anything to do with your decision. I’m just one of the pieces, y'know? I mean- it sounds to me like you would’ve done something amazing with your talent even if you weren’t a fan of mine. I was just lucky enough to be the one you wrote about, I had nothing to do with any of it.”

“Well that’s not entirely true,” you chuckled. “I wouldn’t have pursued anything if I weren’t a fan of yours.” You told him and he narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Yes, I would’ve wrote about someone else but- your success story is kind of what made me push myself into studying screenwriting. In all your interviews, you talked about pushing yourself into what scares you. Like working with Marvel and going to New York to pursue your acting career- those stories are what inspired me to pursue my own, I would’ve never if it weren’t for you.”

He smiled, unsure of what to say except, “I’m glad I could help. You’re very talented from what I could see over your shoulder,” he said then chuckled when you did. “Would you mind letting me read something else of yours? I promise I won’t judge,” he told you when you looked hesitant. “Unless you’re one of those kinky smut writers,” he teased. “‘Cause then maybe there’ll be a little judgement.”

“Hey, some of my best friends are kinky smut writers.”

“Oh,” he chuckled. “Well, I don’t mean any disrespect to them. I’m just- stunned they can come up with what they come up with. Perhaps I should take a few tips, turn my vanilla based life into something more swirly.” He joked and you laughed, covering your mouth when you realized you were attracting attention.

“Like you need any tips on how to get things done in the bedroom,” you said then blushed when he smiled. “Fine,” you opened your laptop screen and turned it towards him after opening your most successful piece; your mini-series. “It’s um- It’s a mini-series, so it’s fairly long.” You explained and Chris’ heart skipped a beat; his eyes quickly scanned what was in front of him so he could determine if you were the girl he was looking for. “You don’t have to read it all, you can just-”

“Holy crap,” his eyes stopped at one of the many sentences he’d read a thousand times. “Drunk minds speak for a sober heart,” he mumbled to himself then looked up at you. Your eyes narrowed in confusion when you saw the way he was looking at you. Was that- adoration? You were about to question him when he smiled and breathed, “it’s you.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @xoxomioxoxo @imaginesofdreams @ateliefloresdaprimavera @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @caitsymichelle13 @michellekeehlmello @letterstomyself21 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @sammyrenae68 @brobrobreja @elizabeth-matsuoka @thegirlwiththeimpala @camerica96 @all-of-the-above11 @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @siofrataylor @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @imaginary-world-of-mine @wanderingkat77 @grantward3 @rileyloves5 @chrsmom302 @buckys-shield @mylittlefandomfanfictions @breezykpop @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @hayleesteashoppe @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @louisespecter @castellandiangelo @ccrossfire @assxmblesstuff @edward-lover18 @princessesnaddy @1d-niallerbieberforever @dxbrevgrey @bellastellaluna @christopher-or-steven @brokenwingsxix @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut (Inbox me if you’d like to be added to the tag list)


Part 3A

RICHARD SIKEN / WAR OF THE FOXES
Change pronouns as necessary and tweak sentences as appropriate!

  • I am faithful to you, darling.
  • When you bang on the wall you have to remember you’re on both sides of it but go ahead, yell at yourself.
  • Some people don’t understand anything.
  • He’s easy to desire since there’s not much to him.
  • No one wants to know what’s in his head.
  • To make something beautiful should be enough. It isn’t. It should be.
  • You’d break your heart to make it bigger.
  • Will you defend yourself? From me, I mean.
  • Let’s kill something.
  • I prefer to blame others, it’s easier.
  • All these ghosts come streaming down and I wish I had something else.
  • We all move forward anyway. Ripples in all directions.
  • What is a ghost? Something dead that seems to be alive. Something dead that doesn’t know it’s dead.
  • All thoughts finish themselves eventually.
  • Can we love nature for what it really is: predatory?
  • When you have nothing to say, set something on fire.
  • I wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.
  • Something’s not right about what I’m doing but I’m still doing it.
  • The enormity of my desire disgusts me.
  • Look away but I’m still there.
  • Want something to chase you? Run.
  • Take only what you need.
  • Never finish a war without starting another.
  • I’ve seen your true face: the back of your head. If you were walking away, keep walking.
  • The fear: that nothing survives. The greater fear: that something does.
  • All these things and what to do with them. We carve up the world all the time.
  • I like dead things. They cannot hurt me.
  • We like things related to our survival: soup, arrows - they expand the range of the species.
  • My body is a graveyard.
  • People like to think war means something.
  • Let’s admit, without apology, what we do to each other. We know who our enemies are. We know.
  • There are many loves but only one war.
  • You will need to comfort him, or we will never be finished with this.
  • You cannot have an opponent if you keep saying yes.
  • Its roots in the ground and its branches in the air, a tree is pulled in two directions.
  • The boy is a bird, bad bird. He falls out of trees.
  • You cannot get in the way of anyone’s path to God. You can, but it does no good.
  • Some say God is where we put our sorrow.
  • In the wrong light anyone can look like a darkness.
  • What can you know about a person?
  • Difficult thing, to be scrutinized so long.
  • Even when I look away I am still looking.
  • Everyone secretly wants to collaborate with the enemy, to construct a truer version of the self.
  • How much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into someone else, before it’s some kind of murder?
  • Why build a room you can live in? Why build a shed for your fears?
  • There wasn’t much left but it felt like him, wild and scared.
  • The best part of spirituality is reverence. There are other parts. Some people like to hear the sound of their own voice.
  • If you don’t believe in God, then who are you talking to?
  • But truth doesn’t count in law, only proof.
  • Was I discovered or invented? Feels like I’ve always been here.
  • Measure yourself against the truth and not the other way around.
  • Perfect and completely dead.
  • People don’t learn anything unless they are afraid of being left behind.
  • Logic is boring because it works. Being unreasonable is exciting.
  • I am your arrival, there is no refusal, we are here, you see, together, we are already here.
  • This is also part of the story: how the story changes. This is something I forgot to tell you.
  • You might like it here. I think that you might like it here.
  • I tell you these things because I love you.
  • It’s nothing like I thought it would be and closer to what I meant.
  • Maybe we will wake up to the silence of shoes at the foot of the bed not going anywhere.
  • It reminds me of where I was going without you.
  • You know what it’s like to be alone: gimlets and vermicide. You know what it’s like to be alive, so forgiveness.
  • You asked me once, What are we made of? Well, these are the things we’re made of.
  • I turned my ears in all directions. I’ll live alone or in between.
  • Everyone needs a place. It shouldn’t be inside of someone else.
  • Your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.
  • I live in big spaces, so I’m left alone in big spaces.
  • We made ourselves cold. We made ourselves snow. We smuggled ourselves into ourselves. Haunted by each other’s knowledge.
  • To hide somewhere is not surrender, it is trickery.
  • I try to guess your trajectory and end up telling my own story.
  • I surrender my desire to be healed.
  • Take it or leave it, and for the most part you take it.
  • Shame comes from vanity. Shame means you’re guilty, like the rest of us, but you think you’re better than we are. Maybe you are.
  • There is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time.
  • Don’t try to make a stronger wind, you’ll wear yourself out. Build a better sail.
  • You want to solve something? Get out of your own way.
  • What’s the difference between me and the world? Compartmentalisation.
  • I hope it’s love. I’m trying really hard to make it love.
  • I clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary.
  • I’d rather quit. I’d rather be sad. It’s too much work.
  • I mean, maybe it’s better if my opponent wins.
  • What happens when I no longer want to meet you?
  • Nothing lasts forever: we know this.
  • Longing and suffering? Of course, of course. You want it to mean something.
  • You can disconnect it or you can try to glue it all together.
  • We could pull it apart, spend our whole lives pulling it apart and have no time left to do anything smart with the pieces.
  • The sooner you embrace it, the sooner it will leave you.
  • You are what you cover up.
  • Noise and more noise. Noise up to heaven.
  • One wonders why a story like this exists.
  • I want to give you more but not everything. You don’t need everything.
  • Someone has to leave first.
  • He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand.
  • All this was prepared for me. All this was set in motion long ago.
  • I stayed as long as I could. Now look at the moon.
  • What does all this love amount to?
let’s just be us (part 2)

summary: based on this post (rockstar!killian and movie star!emma secretly dating, but those pesky fans figure it out…)

word count: ~4000

also found here: ao3, ff.net

the first part: here

an: i lost count of how many people requested that i write more, so i wrote more. thanks to meagan for beta reading and giggling and crying and everything in between! <3 (also this is entirely fluff and i don’t know who i am anymore weeeeeee)


“We’re home!” Emma says happily.

She steps into the apartment with her bag around her shoulder and Cocoa and Smee right on her heels. They charge into the place with excitement, eager to sniff everything and make sure it’s all still here.

Killian laughs warmly as he sets his stuff down. “I’ll go grab the rest.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Rfa and minor trio reacting to Smol MC that repeats herself until someone acknowledges what is said because they hate being ignored?

I relate to this too much rip. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Seven’s is really long oops. Also, someone should request some angst because I need a reason to post some. I love angst omg


Yoosung 

  • Yoosung was playing LOLOL
  • That’s all he seems to be doing lately
  • You wanted to have nice night in with him
  • So, you made dinner and dessert for you two
  • You set the table and went into your room
  • “Yoosung, dear, I made dinner for us”
  • He ignored you…
  • “Yoosung. I made dinner”
  • He ignored you again
  • You felt yourself get a little upset
  • “Yoosung… come eat. I made dinner for us…”
  • He still didn’t answer
  • You knew he could hear you 
  • “Yoosung please come eat.”
  • “I heard you the first ten times, MC”
  • He sounded annoyed
  • “But you didn’t answer…”
  • “Because I’m busy, I don’t have time”
  • “You’re playing LOLOL, you are not busy”
  • “Yes I am! This is important. I’ll eat later”
  • You felt yourself tear up
  • “I just wanted to spend time with you, Yoosung”
  • There was a crack in your voice which caused him to look up
  • “MC… I’m so sorry”
  • He took his headset off and turned off his PC
  • He walked towards you
  • “please don’t ignore me again…”


Jaehee

  • She was drinking coffee in her special spot
  • Her special spot was a little window seat in you two’s bedroom
  • Jaehee didn’t like when people would interrupt her while she was in her spot
  • You knew this, but you decided to go see her anyway
  • She never got mad at you
  • “Hey Jaehee, I bought some new coffee today!”
  • She didn’t even look up from her cup
  • You sat down across from her and smiled
  • “Would you like me to brew you a cup?”
  • Jaehee continued to not answer
  • You immediately got worried
  • Was she mad at you? 
  • “Jaehee, dear, do you want some of the coffee I just bought?”
  • She ignored you…
  • You thought through all the interactions you’ve had with her in the past twelve hours
  • You don’t remember doing anything bad
  • “… Would you like some of the coffee?”
  • She showed no signs of answering you 
  • Not even a nod or a dismissal with her hand 
  • “Jaehee… Do you want some of this coffee?”
  • You held up the bag you had just bought, hoping it’d get her attention
  • She took the bag out of your hand and looked at it
  • “Yes, I’d like a cup, please”
  • You look up at her, surprised to have her answer
  • “Y-you’re not mad at me?”
  • She shook her head
  • “I just wanted some peace and quiet. I’ve had a long day”
  • “I’m sorry, I just don’t like being ignored”
  • “I’m also sorry, MC. I didn’t mean to upset you”


Zen

  • Zen had went outside for a smoke 
  • You loved going out with him when he smoked
  • You two would always have deep conversations that would turn into you talking all night
  • You didn’t approve of him smoking, you just liked talking with him
  • He was very calm when he was smoking
  • You followed him outside to talk with him 
  • “Hey love”
  • You smiled up at him, wrapping your arms around his middle
  • You look up at him, expecting him to say something back
  • But he just stared at the moon as he took another drag
  • “Hey Zen”
  • He blew out the smoke, not even bothering to look at you
  • You started to get upset
  • Was he angry?
  • You kept yourself attached to him, hoping it’d draw some attention to you
  • He took more of the smoke in
  • “Zen, baby, hi”
  • Was he ignoring you?
  • “Zen… hello”
  • Zen blew the smoke out and watched it blow away
  • “Hyun… dear… hey”
  • He FINALLY looked down at you as he put his cigarette out in his ashtray 
  • “Yeah, Jagiya?”
  • You just stared at him, giving him a bewildered look
  • “What?”
  • “You just ignored me the whole time, and you suddenly answer me now? Where you mad at me or something?”
  • “Hmm? No, I just needed to think and sort my head out. I’ve had a long day at work”
  • “I don’t like being ignored… My parents used to do it all the time. I’m sorry”
  • “Oh jagi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know”
  • He pulls you into a tight hug, kissing the top of your head
  • “Please just tell me the next time you want to be alone, don’t ignore me again” 


Jumin

  • Jumin dragged you along to one of his business parties
  • Both of you hated going because of all the drunk people
  • Drunk people would throw themselves at you, which made Jumin pissed
  • He had to go, which means that you had to go
  • Jumin had an arm around your shoulders as he conversed with his business partners
  • You looked around at all the people, accidentally making eye contact with an older man
  • You really hoped he didn’t come over to you now
  • Spoiler alert, he did! 
  • You hid your face in Jumin’s side, praying that this man will see that you’re married and will leave you alone
  • He didn’t
  • The man started by calling you beautiful, but got progressively worse as he continued talking
  • He was being extremely provocative with you
  • You kept telling the man that you were married but he didn’t give up
  • So, you being the adult that you are, you tugged on your husbands sleeve
  • Luckily, he had just finished talking with his business partner, but now he was watching the music act that was preforming
  • “Jumin, please, dear”
  • He didn’t answer, which made the drunk man laugh
  • You tugged on his sleeve again, looking up at him 
  • The man was making you uncomfortable as he kept getting closer to you
  • “Honey, can we leave, please?”
  • The man touched your face, causing you to tug on his sleeve more frantically 
  • Jumin looked down at your face and at the man’s hand that was on your face
  • “Jumin please” 
  • He heard the desperation in your voice and saw the fear evident on your face
  • “Excuse me sir, I would highly suggest that you get your hands off my s/o’s face”
  • The man laughed again, keeping his hands on your face
  • “I’m sorry, Mr. Han, but they are simply gorgeous. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind sharing”
  • You looked down, ashamed. This man made you feel horrible
  • Jumin was pissed
  • He literally smacked this man’s hand off of your face
  • “I do mind. That’s why I will be cutting off all shares with your company.” 
  • Jumin guided you out of the building and into the car
  • He immediately noticed how upset you were
  • “Dear, what’s wrong?”
  • “I just had some strange drunk man all over me, and when I needed my husband the most, he ignored  me”
  • “Dear, I’m so sorry. I was distracted”
  • You laid your head on his chest
  • “Please don’t do it again…”
  • “I won’t princess”


707/Saeyoung (I’m literally such a baby, I almost started crying at my own writing. why am I so emotional? Also, this sort of didn’t match the request, but I really love this one.)

  • Saeyoung has been doing his stupid “I’m dangerous” thing again
  • It’s been going on for an entire week now
  • He knows it makes you upset, yet he still does it
  • There hasn’t been a day this week where you didn’t cry because of him
  • There would be just one comment that would push you over the edge and make you sob
  • You weren’t giving up though, you love him, and you know he loves you too
  • You decided to make something for lunch for him
  • It was just a sandwich and a bottle of water, but it was better than what he was eating
  • You walked into his office room and placed the food beside him
  • “I made you lunch, Saeyoung”
  • He just continued typing away, not even acknowledging your presence
  • “Please eat” 
  • He pushed the plate away, causing the plate to fall to the ground, glass shattering everywhere
  • You gasped and looked at the glass all over the floor
  • You got down and started to pick the pieces up
  • Saeyoung rolled his eyes
  • “Don’t fucking touch it. You’re going to get hurt, and I don’t want to have to clean you up”
  • You looked down, avoiding his gaze
  • Saeyoung went to take the pieces out of your hand, but stopped his movements when he felt your tears hit his hand that was on yours
  • He looked up at you, sighing, and took the glass out of your hand fully before leaving the room to go get the vacuum 
  • You managed to leave the office and go to your own room without getting any glass in your feet
  • “Why would you leave your spot? There’s glass everywhere. You could’ve been hurt, MC”
  • “S-sorry”
  • You looked down again, brushing away your tears with the back of your hand
  • He walked over you and pulled you into his arms, kissing the top of your head 
  • “Please be more careful…”
  • “Stop doing this to me, Saeyoung. I can’t handle this. It hurts so much”
  • “I know, I know. I’m so sorry. I hate doing this to you”
  • “Then why do you do it?”
  • “Because you can’t get hurt.”
  • “Do you think I went into this relationship not knowing the risks? I know fully what could happen, but I love you”
  • He sighs and just holds your closer
  • “I love you too, MC”


Saeran (this one is so cliche, I feel almost guilty posting it)

  • Saeran hasn’t paid much attention to you lately
  • So you went to see him
  • Saeyoung let you in, and you went to Saeran’s room
  • Saeran let you in, but he wouldn’t talk to you
  • “Why do you keep ignoring me? I came here to talk to you”
  • He scrolled through his phone, yawning
  • “Saeran? Are you okay?”
  • He put his phone down and just stared at you, still not answering
  • “Saeran?”
  • You felt a little self conscious with his intense stare on you
  • Saeran laid down on his bed, sighing as he ran his hands through his hair
  • He still kept his gaze on you
  • It was like he was studying you
  • “Saeran please just talk to me”
  • You shifted uncomfortably under his eyes
  • “No.”
  • You looked up into his eyes, surprised that you even got a response
  • “Yes. You’ve ignored me the past two weeks, and I want to know why! You know I hate being ignored, Sae…”
  • He sighed and grabbed your hand gently
  • “I was ignoring you because I like you, okay?”
  • You snort at him, causing him to glare at you
  • “You should’ve just told me, Saeran…” 
  • He just rolled his eyes at you, causing you to grin


Vanderwood

  • Vanderwood had just gotten home from watching over agent 707
  • He looked pretty pissed off
  • He was mumbling angrily to himself
  • “Dear?”
  • He ignored you as he angrily ripped his gloves and coat off
  • “all that stupid fucker does is eat those damn chips. He’s fucking going to get us both killed”
  • You gently touched his arm as you looked up at him
  • “Hey?”
  • He just continued grumbling to himself as he plopped onto the couch, putting his head into his hands
  • “Hey, you okay?”
  • Vanderwood didn’t even look up at you as he sighed 
  • He just continued to stare at the floor
  • “Honey?”
  • no answer.
  • “Baby?”
  • You were getting frustrated
  • God dammit, you just wanted your boyfriend to pay attention to you
  • He’s always gone with that stupid agent, you want to spend all the time you can with him
  • You sat beside him, wrapping your arms around him
  • “Babe…?”
  • “What?”
  • Oh, he sounded angry
  • “Nevermind…”
  • “No, you bothered me a hundred times, I want to know what you want”
  • “I just wanted to make sure you were okay…”
  • “Yeah, I’m fine, just pissed at that little fucker”
  • “…What did he do?”
  • Vanderwood goes on a long rant about this agent, sighing when he was finished
  • “Why do you look upset?”
  • “Oh, I don’t like being ignored. Sorry”
  • “I’m sorry, I was just stressed out by everything”
game grumps ask meme (pt 2)

“Your mouth is saying those words but your eyes say bullshit.”

“Those coins are probably worth tons of coins.”

“UM. EXCUSE ME. Those arms look like hugging machines!”

“Hopefully these paper-thin bushes will protect me from cop bullets.”

“What’s up you salty sailors?”

“Don’t give me your fucking alliteration.”

“Oh, you feel them. You can feel a seething hatred and I can sense it.”

“And I know I love it because I do it. Wait.”

“These weird looking fish have been showing up lately were about to eat me.”

“At age 6, I was born without a face.”

“First of all, I think he’s got a very nice ass.”

“Haven’t you ever heard Cheese Nipples by The Fruit Barfs?”

“Oh just lick my ass.”

“There’s two things I don’t make fun of people for… music and their laugh.”

“I’m super excited about failure.”

“I’m glad I get to give this guy a hand job everyday!”

“My plan, it worked.”

“We had that in the bag. And you grabbed ANOTHER FUCKING RHOMBUS.”

“I love video games, and they’re fun, but this one isn’t.”

“I’m a poet and fuck you.”

“I’m not in a position to come at anyone, bro.”

“I was this close to lining up my knuckles and punching you square in the groont.”

“Practice is for the weak!”

“Five coins in the bank, invested in stocks. Apple. Gotta get it early!”

“Okay. Okay. Alright BOUNCY BOX.”

“I’m gonna take him out back, and give him some chocolates.”

“Oh, you’re talking about your penis.”

“Every minute of this I just get harder and harder.”

“Step on him. Step on him and crush him. Mail the remains to his family.”

“It’s probably the wrong one but bear with me, I’m an idiot.”

“I wish you were fast.”

“Alright, uh, aliens dude. This concludes our service please come up for the crackers.”

“You may not recognize me because I was wearing sunglasses. I wrote an internet song about dinosaurs and lasers in 2010.”

”I mean I can’t tell you the specifics because it involves tradingyourlifeforces.”

“I’m glad we came to that conclusion. Separately. From each other.”

“Pussy built this place and pussy will tear it down!”

“I have a specific set of skills… and they all involve masturbating.”

“Yeah go on, tell me how you would have sex with the cat.”

“You can’t open up the story of my life, and just fucking go to page 738 and think you know me.”

“This game looks like it should be in black and white and in French.”

“The Bananas has gone bad!”

“Come on computer, use your thinky bits!”

“Folks, strap on your butts ‘cuz we’re goin’ in!”

“I could totally stab someone to death or something.”

“620 blaze it.”

“I’m like… low to moderately scared someone will steal my kidneys.”

“This game is a glitch that occasionally breaks out into a game.”

“WHAT KIND OF PIKACHU IS THAT?!”

“Siri, how many boobs does a fox have?”

“Truly the game of life is about money and bitches.”

“Let’s have some hot duck action.”

“It’s not murder, it’s for science.”

“Ya’ know aesthetically, this game is just above a piece of shit.”

“All of this time used for playing this game could have been used for smoking heroin.”

“That five seconds is all I need to punch myself repeatedly in the face.”

“Welcome back, I’m your toast with the most!”

“I just like to start shit.”

“This experience is really teaching me alot about what being bread is all about.”

“I sure hope talent is sexually transmitted for when we make love later.”

“Hold on I am clearing my google search term of ‘echidna penis’ and replacing it with ‘Bowie pressure lyrics.’”

“That’s how you help things, funnels of death.”

“First of all, language. Second of all, FUCK!”

“That’s when I get twice as high, at 8:40 at night. That’s for the professionals only.”

“There was no Twitter. It was 1980.”

“I wish my whole body was a party.”

“I could see them doing a Peanuts anime.”

“The rumour come out: Does Bruno Mars is gay?”

“What am I? Some kind of guy who doesn’t read tutorials or anything?”

“You have mastered the code of chivalry. Take your complimentary fedora.”

“A dump smells better than I do.”

“Can we form a new band where we just do, like, pop-punk…but we only dress up as the King of the Cosmos from Katamari?”

“"I would never joke about not being your friend.”

“Do you gain pleasure from the suffering of others?”

“We always finish games, except when we don’t.”

“…I’m just going to say lots of 1994 shit.”