Did you know some people stop being tired? Like, they enjoy a cup of coffee and then go on with their day, feeling awake and functional? They don’t feel exhausted all day long? Like that’s so weird, what’s up with that.
i love mob so much please for the love of god tell me about ur feelings on 100% ecstasy
OH BOY WILL I !!! ABSOLUTELY 100% (pun unintended but warmly embraced)
out of all the 100% events, ecstasy is my favorite. the drama… the tragedy… will fiction EVER peak like this again? i don’t think so. but BEFORE I DELVE INTO ALL OF THAT, there’s something i want to talk about first: mob’s psychic powers as an expression of his emotions.
we all know that mob suppresses his emotions to avoid outbursts of psychic power. but THAT implies that mob’s psychic power is a form of self expression, in the same way that body language is expression.
he can direct his psychic powers – the same way we can direct our bodies’ actions – but there are other components that are difficult to stop, similar to how people’s shoulders tend to hunch when they’re angry or upset, how they subconsciously cross their arms and direct their feet away when something is making them uncomfortable, etc.
unless you know about these bits of body language, and make a deliberate attempt to suppress them, it’s difficult to stop your body from revealing something about your emotions. similarly, one function of mob’s psychic power is as an extension of the way he expresses himself. these things happen subconsciously and mostly without mob’s control.
for example, one of the trademarks of mob’s 100% events is that mob starts releasing waves of psychic power that push his hair back. other side effects include cracking the ground under him, often to dramatic effect.
mob doesn’t push his hair up on purpose, it’s just something that happens – as a result of him releasing his pent-up emotions in the form of psychic power. these little bits of expression aren’t something he can control.
mob also says something REALLY INTERESTING in his first 100% event:
during 100% rage mob uses his psychic powers to fight dimple, yes, but these lines suggest that his outburst of power happened because he finally had to express his anger. and that implies that, in order to show his emotions, and express himself, mob has to use his psychic powers.
which is something he almost never allows himself to do.
never forget the disdain / loathing mob had for himself at the beginning of the manga, and how convinced he was that he couldn’t allow himself to express himself OTHERWISE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
further material to consider: the lines that he said right before his 100% animosity / hostility event
at this point, mob hasn’t taken any action against koyama yet. his outburst of psychic power, radiating outward and blanketing the area, is not doing anything but expressing his hostility – to the extent that mob expects koyama to be able to feel it.
in addition to that, during mob’s fight with toichirou, he cycles rapidly through a LOT of emotions, and this is what he says about it:
canon suggests that it’s not just a buildup of of emotions that cause his powers to run amok; allowing his powers to run amok also allows himself to feel the full intensity of his emotions. his psychic powers are key to expressing himself.
I COULD GO ON… but i’ll just leave things here for now. to summarize: mob subconsciously uses his psychic powers to express his emotions, which is why suppressing his emotions also suppresses his psychic powers.
figure 1: a helpful venn diagram of things
which brings us to the REALLY SAD, BITTERSWEET, MOURNFUL TRAGEDY THAT IS 100% ECSTASY.
the fight against toichirou is possibly the first time mob has been able to fully utilize his psychic powers. the first time he’s had to, even. all the unconscious limits he’s put on himself – not allowing his psychic power to go free, stifling his emotions and powers – all come undone.
mob is allowing himself to be himself, wholly and fully. he’s removed his inhibitions. he’s running wild and free. he’s no longer expending energy trying to regulate his psychic powers – he’s allowing himself to feel. this intensity of emotion and action is something mob has never given himself before, and the freedom of it… feels good. incredibly so. he feels free, he feels alive, and toichirou – the only individual to ever stand on a level close to mob’s – understands perfectly.
this is a level of joy mob has never felt before.
the release of his psychic power even comes hand in hand with mob’s body language becoming much freer and more expressive than it is in daily life. look at him go!! mob, for the first time in years… letting himself feel the intensity of his emotions, just as they really are.
but of course his happiness isn’t going to last
because mob wants to be a part of society, and he thinks he has to keep his psychic powers sequestered away in order to do that. his greatest fear is accidentally hurting the people he loves with his own psychic power, and when he remembers that possibility…
the tragedy of 100% ecstasy is that – for just a brief moment, mob released himself from his self-imposed limits. for a moment, he let himself really feel, he let himself be, and in that moment he experienced a richness, an intensity, a moment of being so utterly present and alive that it brought himself to heights he’d never reached before.
and mob will never willingly allow himself to do that ever again.
Blessed are the readers, for theirs is the archive.
Blessed are the betas: for they help us write the stories we see in our hearts. Blessed are they that kudo, for they reassure us that someone likes what we’ve done. Blessed are the rebloggers and reccers, for they help the readers find our work. Blessed are they which leave comments on a WIP that say something other than “write more please”: for they comfort us when we feel taken for granted. Blessed are the commenters; for their words bring us joy. Blessed are the loyal fans, for they keep the fandom alive. Blessed are the fan artists, for they bring our worlds to life before our eyes. Blessed are they which read an entire long fic and comment each chapter, for the string of comment notifications fills the writer’s heart with delight. Blessed are ye, who rec our fics in public and tag us, for seeing that we made somebody squee is the light in our days. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad; for great is your reward in fandom.
I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. It sounds corny and vague. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I still don’t really know. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. ‘Honey, I’m home…and no longer terrified.
Ryan O’Connell, This is Why I’m in Love With You
the first time Jean allowed himself to enjoy a blue sky
the trojans had dragged him off to a picnic for “team bonding” and it was the first time he’d been allowed to look at the sky without Riko looming over him
the first time Jean felt the grass under his fingers
on that same picnic, while Laila and Alvarez were wrestling playfully nearby, Jean looked at the grass under the blanket and ran his hands over it and was in awe at how smooth it was
the first time Jean went to a party
the Trojans just won a game and wanted to celebrate, so of course they made Jean come along, and at first he’d been apprehensive, but then Jeremy grinned at him and it turned out to be not so bad
the first time Jean genuinely smiled
unsurprisingly, it was because of Jeremy, who made a stupid pun that Jean wanted to groan at, but he found it humorous somehow so he just… couldn’t help it
the first time Jean failed and didn’t beat himself up over it
the Trojans rarely lose a game, but sometimes Jean can’t stop a shot that should have been easy. One day he can’t block a shot and he’s surprised to realize he’s just thought “I’ll do better next time”
the first time Jean lets himself love
it’s not just Jeremy, but also Laila and Alvarez, who show him that love isn’t supposed to be painful or possessive or suffocating and who give him the courage to let the team love him
INFJ - Realizing that the cause they have been supporting is run by treacherous and immoral people. Any good they’ve ever done in the world is instantly erased and turned into something harmful. Everyone they care for believes they are cruel and heartless.
ENFJ - Everything they do continuously comes out wrong, and the more they try to fix it the worse it becomes. Every person they try to help somehow ends up worse off than before, and they are seen as the reason why everything is going wrong.
INFP - Being trapped in a crowded room with morally bankrupt people, and having to coexist with them. Not being allowed to express their emotions, or process anything alone. Being forced to watch injustices and not being able to stop them or express how wrong they are.
ENFP - They no longer can speak to other people, and are forced to be silent at all times. Their ability to express themselves and be creative has been taken from them. Because of this the world sees them are uncaring and unfriendly. They aren’t allowed to explore new possibilities and must maintain a strict schedule.
INTJ - Being forced to listen to people spread incorrect information, and those people are revered as geniuses. They are unable to speak out against anyone who is wrong, and are actually made to agree with them. Every emotion they have ever felt is transmitted in public and everyone sees them as emotional and incapable of intelligent thought.
ENTJ - Being forced to comply with someone else’s poorly developed plan. They have no ability to stand out or add insight to the plan, and when all is said and done everyone believes they are the reason things are going wrong. They constantly have to listen to others emotional problems, and have to sympathize with them.
INTP - They are forced to follow the lead of an ignoramus, whose only goal is to feed lies to the masses. They aren’t allowed to explore new possibilities, and everyone around them is incapable of accuracy. Because of this, they have to watch the people they care about fall victim to these falsities. They are mocked for their thoughts and emotions.
ENTP - Is forced into solitary confinement, where they are never allowed to debate anything ever again. They have to constantly listen to people discussing vapid topics with no intelligent discussion involved. Creative thought is banned.
ISTJ - They have to wake up each morning not knowing what will happen that day. They aren’t allowed to plan and have to live in a constantly messy and cluttered environment. Each day is filled with unknowns, and they aren’t given instructions until moments before they have to do something.
ESTJ - They are forced to follow the orders of a messy and unorganized fool. No one around them is allowed to listen to their commands, and they are forced to keep them to themselves. They are seen by everyone as incapable and weak.
ISFJ - Everywhere they go it seems like everyone is unhappy and fighting. Every time they try to stop the arguing, they are verbally attacked and everything wrong they have ever done is brought to light. Everything around them is a mess and every-time they try to organize they are yelled at and forced to stop.
ESFJ - They aren’t allowed to express caring towards others, and are seen as cold and inconsiderate. They know that their loved ones are in danger, but they are completely powerless to stop it. Every-time they do try to fix the problem or make things better, it just keeps getting worse. Because of this they are left forever alone and are abandoned by their loved ones.
ISTP - They are forced to sit in a room and listen to intellectually moribund people try to solve a problem. As they watch these people attempt to put something together, they are unable to help or say a word.
ESTP - They are incapable of feeling excitement, and must sit alone in a room all day long. There are no reading materials or things to keep them busy, just their own thoughts.
ISFP - They are forced to live with people who are rude, and make them live each day based on a strict schedule. They are constantly criticized and there is no one around that cares enough to step in and stop it.
ESFP - The world breaks out with a terrible sickness, and the only way to survive is by staying inside and avoid all social engagements until the end of time.
sorry, i gonna have to come back to this moment because it was such a good moment
bakugou is an angry mess. anger’s a secondary emotion; it’s a defensive reaction to another emotion, e.g. you feel angry because you are hurt, you feel unsafe, etc. bakugou feels angry because he has guilt and self loathing in spades, and anger is the only way he knows how to process it.
this panel could be seen as bakugou’s typical bakugou-ness – a la “i don’t need your help” / “i want to (have to) be perfect and i have to do that on my own, you absolute cannot and are not allowed to help me” – but this time it feels different. the context is different. this isn’t bakugou trying to achieve everything on his own; this is bakugou feeling like everything is his fault.
getting kidnapped. all might’s fall. chaos descending on society. his friends nearly being expelled. if he had just been stronger, then none of this would have happened. bakugou’s always been a proud little shit who thought he was better than everyone else, and yet here is all the incontrovertible proof that he is a total failure. that kind of thinking so easily leads to self-hatred, and here bakugou has been marinating in it for days.
and at that point, when you hate yourself that much – when all you can see in yourself are all the failings, all the bad things, all the ways in which you weren’t good enough and thus the scum of the earth – when you get to that point, someone genuinely caring about you feels like a slap to the face.
it feels like knocking all the breath out of you. it feels like adding salt to your wounds. bakugou isn’t just being frustrated with izuku here. he’s hurt. how can izuku ask if he’s okay? how can izuku still care?
bakugou’s in such a terrible mental state that he can’t accept any help right now. at least, nothing but a way to vent his feelings and punish himself at the same time.
i mean, just look at bakugou’s expression here, the way his snarl almost seems like a grin: izuku has just landed a good solid hit on his face, and he’s not even mad about it. he’s getting exactly what he wants.
throughout the series bakugou has expressed himself almost exclusively through attacks (verbal or physical) or by destroying things. it may be the only way he really knows how to give voice to his emotions. izuku shows talent and power during the quirk apprehension test? attack. todoroki doesn’t fight him full power? attack. bakugou is a failure? …
attack himself – or find someone who will do it for him.
i’ve always thought he had something of a self-destructive streak, and here it fucking is.