feelings~~

i didn’t realise how much i loved her until we drifted apart. last night i lay in bed crying, realising how stupid i was for being hung up on him when she was right there eating chocolate with me on the kitchen floor.
—  if either of us had of been a tiny bit braver, we could have been magnificent

Traumatic events, by definition, overwhelm our ability to cope. When the mind becomes flooded with emotion, a circuit breaker is thrown that allows us to survive the experience fairly intact, that is, without becoming psychotic or frying out one of the brain centers. The cost of this blown circuit is emotion frozen within the body. In other words, we often unconsciously stop feeling our trauma partway into it, like a movie that is still going after the sound has been turned off. We cannot heal until we move fully through that trauma, including all the feelings of the event.

Susan Pease Banitt, The Trauma Tool Kit: Healing PTSD from the Inside Out

Nothing compels me anymore.

I have let myself submit to the
thrill of a routine I never understood,
and settle for a place I never learned
to call home.

I have let myself become complacent.

My blood no longer boils
with that restless youth.
There isn’t much left of
that fire burning in my veins,
despite this coal I call a heart.

I’m truly lost in this element.

—  “Burnt out” remnant-thoughts

Okay but american celebrities mad kissing BTS’s asses. Like what they’re saying is true and BTS is the actual sun that is keeping us alive but,,,, where’s that sincerity tho?