feelings of abandon

Honestly, being a fic writer sucks. Like, I know I’ve joking talked to @xambedo about how if fandoms were totem poles (probably a super bad analogy, I know) fic writers would be towards the bottom. Not the very bottom, because fics are generally more relevant than AMVs (which are hella awesome and deserve way more recognition because editing videos and matching clips is hard), but certainly not towards the top either.

Some lovely things that come with being a fic writer:

  • Being told you’re not a “real” writer. Because it’s entirely irrelevant that fanfiction has created a new wave of writers and most are entirely self-taught. I learned more writing fics between the ages of 13-18 than I ever did in school, so much so that my Creative Writing professor in collage told me there was “nothing more he could teach me.”
  • Fanfiction, as a whole, has a generally negative connotation. You find any book to movie adaptation that didn’t go well at all and people say it was “written like fanfiction.” Not “bad fanfiction” just “fanfiction. Never mind that there’s so much good fanfiction (some of which being better than the actual source material).
  • Need to pay the bills? Want to try commissions? A patreon? Good luck! 
  • The overall lack of response sucks. Generally speaking, even the most popular writers in fandoms struggle to get their work spread around. On a good day you can get maybe 100-300 notes on a fic (wide range, but that’s exactly how much it varies), and that depends on when you post it, how many times you reblog it yourself, and chance. A lot of people just don’t reblog fics
  • There are no good sites to post fics. FF.net is dysfunctional 70% of the time, AO3 is complicated to use and people are even less likely to leave comments there, and Tumblr just isn’t very welcoming to writers (I’ve been told several times that I should just move to a different platform. Jokes on you, even sites dedicated to fic writers absolutely suck. There’s no winning, only exhaustion and resignation.)
  • Reviews/Comments are frustrating as all heck. Either readers don’t review, they leave magnificent comments that touch your soul, or you get twelve reviews telling you to “update” despite the fact that you just did an hour ago. I promise you, fic writers watch their email like a hawk after updating, and the moment they open that first email saying they have a review and see it’s just telling them to update again, they deflate. And it’s not that people don’t have the time or don’t know what to say, they just… don’t want to. 
  • (Sidenote: try bribing your readers sometime, just to see for yourself. If you have a consistent schedule, casually slip in that “hey, if this chapter can hit *insert number slightly higher than the average* reviews, I’ll update *insert earlier date than when you would be updating*.” Like, just try that once. I swear you’ll get least a few more reviews than normal.)

Blahblahblah, I’m whining, if you’re going to reblog this to be a snarky asshole and call fic writers entitled/greedy/etc how about you consider not doing that and maybe just let fic writers be frustrated over things. Writing is hard.

Hey everyone, sorry I haven’t been on much lately. After getting a lot of weird messages I just want to take a break. I know it’s silly, but this blog was originally just supposed to be for a bit of fun, but it’s gotten to the stage where people come to the inbox challenging me for being a “clown” and “an embarrassment”, for being “fake” because I missed their message or passed over it because I’d answered an identical one. I know that many, many more of you are supportive and just want to have a laugh too. I know we joke about this being the Irish Embassy, but always being on and being relevant, but not too relevant or I’m fake is really a lot more taxing that I thought it’d be. I just came here to shitpost.

I don’t know what I’m doing with this blog right now. I just feel weird and sad about it when I’d normally be excited to come on and essentially talk shite with ye about stuff.

archiveofourown.org
There Is No End To Love

Dan and Phil have been in a relationship for seven years now and are happily engaged. The pair are eagerly awaiting the news of their impending adoption however after Dan is violently assaulted, their whole world gets turned upside down. Feeling completely alone and abandoned, Dan has to learn to come to terms with the fact that maybe he doesn’t know Phil as well as he thought. Will he and Phil ever have the future together that they’d always dreamed of?

trackgirl22 replied to your post: i started to write a post about how iris is…

I would say her anger is similar to the anger some people feel when their loved ones die. You know deep down that it’s rational, but ultimately you still feel like the person abandoned you. In this case Barry actually ends up coming back so those feelings that most other people don’t have the chance to express actually end up coming out for Iris.

This is EXACTLY what my post was going to talk about.

Iris is mad at Barry leaving, knows it’s selfish to just be mad, so she needs to pinpoint an actual, tangible, reason to be mad. because it’s not fair to be mad at a dead person without a ‘real’ reason, it’s not fair to be bitter towards them for nothing at all.

So it’s a mess of emotions, trying to justify them, and then he’s BACK while she’s struggling with that…. she’s going to be upset and bothered and actually able to confront everything, which she WASN’T able to do with Eddie or her mom or the other times she ‘lost’ Barry.

u ever just thinking…. im v lonely lol but tryna stay calm abt it cuz otherwise u would have a breakdown..but like…everyone has other ppl but u and ur like a lost bitter lemon who is laying in bed feeling so lame. other ppl r out havin fun. dancing. living life. smiling. talking to other ppl. and ur.. just..with the long legged flying spider creature in ur room thinking too hard abt how actually ur just alone and miserable and forgotten and a bit pointless…

  • me: personality disorder who? im not clingy and tbh I don't even have a fear of abandonment.... lmao
  • also me: *deadass sobs and wheezes all night for hours bc I can't stop thinking about how People Are Going To Leave Me*
The Zodiac Signs as Bad Things

Aries: Destruction

Taurus: Surrender

Gemini: Dishonesty

Cancer: Betrayal

Leo: Abandonment

Virgo: Failure

Libra: Injustice

Scorpio: Loss of control

Sagittarius: Restriction

Capricorn: Disappointment

Aquarius: Judgment

Pisces: Heartbreak

do you guys ever think about how yuri plisetsky, at just age fifteen, has apparently been supporting his family through his figure skating via government grants which means not only does he have to regularly compete, but he always has to do well and to consistently perform, so he’s probably never allowed to have an off performance or it means less money, less support, less opportunities, and when victor nikiforov himself, five time world champion, offers to choreograph a program for him, yuri jumps at the chance because yes, think of how much he could get if he won his very first grand prix series off of victor’s choreography – think of his ailing grandfather whom he loves so much, an absentee mother – figure skating is everything to yuri, it’s the only thing he thinks he has to offer, it’s the thing he relies on the most for emotional and financial support, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. so he throws everything onto the ice, wins the junior championship just as victor said, and now he’s about to make his pro senior debut and he’s gonna get victor to make good on his promise and–

victor just… disappears. flies across the world, completely forgets he ever promised yuri anything, turns around and blatantly uses yuri while making it clear that beyond a week’s worth of coaching him on a program, victor has no intentions of giving yuri anything bc he’s so wrapped up in yuuri 

and yuri feels – abandoned, betrayed, hurt; left behind again like he always is, left waiting like he always is, used as a means to an end; is it any wonder he’s pissed off? but then this beautiful, brilliant boy takes a program he only spent a week learning from its choreographer – he takes that program, refines it, improves it and breaks victor’s world record with it, slaps victor in the face with it by winning over yuuri and telling him, victor nikiforov is dead, victor isn’t everything yuri had thought he would be and it doesn’t matter bc yuri will make himself, define himself, choose things for himself now.

do you ever think about this bc i do and it hurts me but i love this boy so much, he deserves everything

Stefan Karl and cancer

1. STEFAN KARL HAS NOT DIED!!   Why would anyone even post that, without a legitimate source??  His children could see that and they do not need that! 

2. We Are Unicorns is not a legitimate source.  For anything

3.  NO ONE knows how long he has to left to live.  Miracles happen.  Medicine happens.   He could respond better than expected to treatment!  He could live YEARS, for all anyone knows.   Is it likely?  Maybe not, but it is POSSIBLE.   So, let’s quit trying to bury him before he is dead, okay? 

4.  There is not a single legitimate source out there that has said he has only days or weeks to live.   “His candle burns quickly” does NOT mean that and she wrote that just after receiving terrible news!  The only sources that say that are just regurgitating speculation.  Most of them are tabloid trash.   

5.  Hope is better than just giving up on him.  We haven’t consulted with his doctors.  The man himself is thinking positively, WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT WHEN FIGHTING CANCER.  Yes, the situation is grave and doesn’t look good, but that doesn’t mean he or anyone else has to give up. 

6.  The last thing Stefan Karl needs is to get on the internet and see that he has been written off as dead by his fans and meme friends.   He doesn’t need to feel abandoned by us.  How would you like to see a headline stating you only have days or weeks to live, when you’re trying to stay positive and fight back against cancer?  Do you think that helps?   I think it would be discouraging and that can only hurt him. 

7.  Where there is life there IS hope.

How to deal with your borderline's feelings of abandonment: a guide for outsiders

1. If they confront you about their fears, usually all they want to hear are those four glorious words. “I’m not abandoning you”
2. Since we borderlines are class-A overanalysers, then go into detail. You have reassured that they are wrong and you are not abandoning them. Now is the time to explain. “I was just hanging out with friends” “I needed to get coffee with [this person] because I needed to talk to them about something.” “I haven’t seen this person in a long time. It was nice to catch up”
3. Since jealousy is a main characteristic of someone with borderline, proceed to reaffirm the person. “Besides, we hung out two days ago” “we have plans tomorrow remember?” “I was hoping to make plans with you over the break remember?”

These are positive ways to reaffirm and reassure a borderline with abandonment issues.