I think there’s something to be said about this comparison.
My great aunt, who used to teach at catholic schools: *I come out to her a couple days ago* “I had my suspicious, it’s not like it’s a choice you were born this way. Do what makes you happy.“ *she then proceeds to ask me questions about my identity in an effort to learn more*
My mother, who considers herself to be a very liberal parent and an ally to the LGBT cause because she had gay friends in the 90s: *I come out to her when I’m 13* “No your not, those people go through real struggles and you don’t. You’re too young to know that anyway.“ ~fast forward~ *something about my odd behaviour comes into conversation when I’m 14* *I come out to her again, explaining it has to do with my identity* “Kay, no you’re not, you’re straight because (insert stereotype here)” *from this moment on I decide I can’t talk to her about my identity and my feelings on it* ~fast forward~ * I am beginning to be active in my local LGBTQ+ community, I post political articles about it on my facebook, and I make a painting about erased queer identities for a social justice themed art show when I’m 16* *I have my mom pick me up from the art show early, I’m upset about homophobic response to my art from the director. I wasn’t aware the show was being held at a catholic school* *when we get home she lectures me* “What is all this fixation you have with gay pride!? You post about it non stop on your facebook, family members are calling me wondering if you’re trying to convey something through all this! If there’s something you need to tell me, you need to tell me now.” *I come out to her, noting that I’ve already come out to her before* “Why can’t you just be normal!? Where did I go wrong!? I’m never going to have grandkids!” (That last statement doesn’t even make sense with what my identity is btw) *she sends me to my room and looks up definitions on Wikipedia* *She begrudgingly resigns to the fact of me being what I am* *She sets up social restrictions for me, such as I’m banned from any sleepovers, and I’m not allowed to be alone with any of my friends. If I hang out with friends it has to be at my house and it can’t be in my room*