feeling rejected

the idea of an open relationship sounds 100% hellish to me.. i feel like even having one propositioned to me would completely crack open my confidence and if someone did, i would probably pull a “not answering your texts for 2 weeks and then breaking up with you because i am just so deeply uncomfortable” but tell people i got dumped bc i may as well have been imo

I keep your letters in the drawer beside my bed. This space is otherwise reserved for medications and prescriptions that I need fast or early access to. The purpose of this drawer is to help me when I’m in pain, to help me catch my breath, and prevent further troubles; which is precisely why I keep your letters here. Sometimes pills and inhalers can do nothing to steady my breathing, sometimes I need you.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #59 (book-scented-candles)
Today i had a panic attack, and i didnt even know why i was panicking. Then my friend said “ you are panicking because you cannot accept the inevitable.” And then i realized the truth .I was panicking, as of the slipping time and of the fact that you will leave one day. You will leave and never look back for me. You will not say goodbye. Hell, you will not say a word. Its inevitable. I know it and yet my heart does not accept it.
—  Me
How to deal with rejection

-remind yourself that you don’t need anyone’s validation; your worth doesn’t change based on someone’s validation
-in this very moment, you are enough and always will be enough
-remind yourself that even though right now you may feel rejected, and may feel you don’t deserve to be loved, you will always be worthy of love
-remember, you don’t need anyone’s permission to love yourself, except your own. You don’t need someone to love you first before you can love yourself. Give yourself permission to love yourself
-remember, all feelings are temporary and this feeling of rejection will pass

PSA

I was wondering if we can maybe stop making monkey references or any kind of negative remarks about Sean Maguire’s physical appearance when we criticize OQ?
I understand character and acting criticism, which is fine, but I’m very uncomfortable dragging his appearance into it.
It’s irrelevant, subjective and he can’t change anything about it? It undermines any argument. I know we’re not writing for people outside of the fandom and maybe part of it is exactly because we’ve been driven into the corner, but what about the people inside the fandom?

I’ve been called ugly a few times in life. I’ve thought of myself as ugly for a long time. I don’t think of myself like that anymore, but I still feel hurt and rejected when I see people putting others down based on their looks. I feel personally attacked, because if it’s so important in your judgment of this person, then how will it affect your judgment of me? And you know, it’s hard for me to imagine I’m the only one who feels this way, so that’s why I decided to speak up. I’d like to reblog your stuff and talk about the show with you, but I think I’m going to refrain from reblogging anything that has this kind of content. Because maybe there’s somebody else reading that feels the same about this and I don’t want to participate in putting them (and myself) down and perpetuate this underlying message. And I have before and I apologize, because it was wrong.

Same thing goes for repeating the ableist messages the show uses in regards with Hook’s missing hand. I feel uncomfortable when we repeat them.

How can we credibly talk about homophobia and misogyny, meanwhile making the same mistakes about other societal issues? It undermines our credibility. It just simply hurts people.

I’m no innocent, I made these mistakes and I’m sure I’ll make other mistakes, but I thought not saying anything might be the biggest mistake I could make. So here it is…

It’s really hard in this fandom to speak up, because there is already so much to deal with. No matter how we behave, it will never be good enough for the outside. There’s a fear of speaking up, because this message? It can easily be used against us outside of the fandom to prove “even SQers are tired of their own.” (BS, I love the people here and I understand why we communicate the way we do. We’re rightfully pissed.) The same people who ask us to ‘police our own’ are the same ones who are undermining our conversations. Because we know what they really want is to silence us completely and we don’t want to give them any extra ammunition. Either way, they are controlling us and if we don’t give them something… they’ll make it up anyway.

This last paragraph wasn’t what I thought I’d write when I started this post and it’s not as well thought-out as I’d like it to be, but I’m going to leave it in because maybe we should also start having that conversation.

Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse. It kills confidence, creativity and individuality.

Telling a person she shouldn’t feel the way she does feel is akin to telling water it shouldn’t be wet, grass it shouldn’t be green, or rocks they shouldn’t be hard. Each person’s feelings are real. Whether we like or understand someone’s feelings, they are still real. Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, “psychological murder”, or “soul murder.” Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile.

thegreenlanturn asked:

Hey! I recently heard about your troubles with acceptance as an underage little, and let me say, I completely sympathy. I discovered my little side when I was 11, which was 7 years ago, and got on Tumblr at 16. It's easy to feel rejected, especially with all of the sudden controversy. But there is such a thing as being a sfw little, and that's just where you need to stay for thee time being on here. That shouldn't hinder your little side at all. Be proud of it. Being little is so wonderful!

Oh I dont ever want to leave being a sfw little. I can’t stand being sexual with someone in any way since it makes me sick to my stomach and cry. Just wished people would see that it is perfectly fine and okay to be a sfw little, even if they are a minor or legal adult.

the-iridescent-rose asked:

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child? & 42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

CHARACTER SOLIDIFYING!

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child? 

Most often, Kyoya faced rejection. And even if it wasn’t received directly, he certainly felt it. When he was particularly young, he didn’t exactly comprehend the importance of the position he held as the son of an Ootori. He often found himself wondering what he did to deserve the cold attitude from his father, and he blamed himself. But Kyoya is obviously a smart boy; he eventually figured out, with the help of his sister, one of the few people that truly showed him the affection he needed, what it really meant to be an Ootori. How he was in possession of riches that not everyone was fortunate enough to obtain in their entire lifetime, but he was born into that kind of class without having to work for a cent. That with the combined teasing and taunting of his older brothers concerning the matter of who was most important, who would become the official heir to their dad’s company… Those two happenings are what made him change his mindset. He knew to use his status to his advantage. If he didn’t have to work for money, then he would work to beat his brothers and maybe one day receive the recognition from his father that his inner child always desired and still does, very secretly, desire. He would work to be the best and have the best. 

42.  What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Kyoya wants success. He wants to live a life that is worth living. Wants to have the best for himself so that he can look back with very few regrets. For right now, at the age of seventeen, to reach that goal he puts aside much personal time to work and study in order to find more ways to improve himself. The club is one of his few reprieves he takes, but even then, he’s almost always engaged in his practices. He wants to obtain full ownership of his father’s company, and he would do anything to reach that milestone. Anything except abandon his friends, of course. Because he cares for them. But he might just say that he keeps him around for status. That’s a lie. I promise. 

Though, in the future, if he were to gain the position he desires, I think his goals might change, as would his sacrifices. He would still be aiming for success, of course, but he may begin pursuing a family. A love interest, someone with whom he could raise a new heir. He would not allow the company to die with himself, and honestly, he would want some kind of companionship. Though his friendships with all the hosts would never end, they would certainly be much busier with their own lives. And after living for so long with them all (mostly Tamaki) being in his personal space and business, he would come to desire that kind of intrusion. Life would seem odd without that constant hustle and bustle and just… General relationships. He would crave them. Though he wouldn’t risk everything to get that, of course. He could live without it if he had to, and he could always adopt or have a surrogate take on the task of birthing an heir for him. But finding someone to share his life with… That would mean a lot to him. He would cherish that person very much, and likely sacrifice a lot of time for them and treat them very well.

You’re so afraid to tell people how you feel because you fear rejection, so you bury it deep inside yourself where it only destroys you more.
—  anonymous
You can’t trust your feelings

Although we would all like to trust our feelings, they are not a good guide for the ways things really are. They are often fickle and irrational – and not an accurate measure of reality. As you’ve probably discovered:

1. Feelings vary depending on our health. If we’re sick we often feel despondent and blah.

2. Feelings vary depending on our hormones – which is why doctors recognize and treat PMS.

3. Feelings vary depending on events and the changing circumstances of our life. If things are going wrong, or we’re highly stressed, we feel inadequate and overwhelmed.

4. Feelings are affected by relationships. If we fall in love we feel happy and elated; if a relationship breaks up we feel rejected and depressed.

5. Feelings vary depending on the weather. If it’s sunny we feel happy and optimistic; if it’s cloudy and grey, we feel morose and negative.

6. Feelings can depend on the way we’re being treated. If someone in a store is rude to us, we may react with anger, or even feel ashamed.

7. Feelings are affected by our actions at the time. If we do something kind we feel good about ourselves; and if we’ve hurt someone’s feelings we may feel some regret.

So don’t react and respond based on feelings alone. Always use your mind as well – and check your thoughts are accurate.

10

five by five meme: [2/5] ships - Regina Mills + Emma Swan

Living in Storybrooke, I’ve got my son and my parents, and I love them. But they can’t always understand me. They don’t know what it feels like to be rejected and misunderstood. Not the way I do. Not the way you do. And somehow that makes us- I don’t know, unique. Or maybe even special.

2

A lot of people ask me, ‘How did you have the courage to walk up to record labels when you were 12 or 13 and jump right into the music industry?’ It’s because I knew I could never feel the kind of rejection that I felt in middle school. Because in the music industry, if they’re gonna say no to you, at least they’re gonna be polite about it.

From the moment I pulled out of that parking lot, I have missed your hands and the warmth they provide. I know it’s summer and heat is apparent, but there is a difference between heat and warmth. Heat was me running aimlessly through the sea of vehicles, trying to make it to your performance, but warmth was the moment I saw you on stage and sensation as my heart leaped. Warmth was when we walked, hand in hand, through the foreign grounds of my sweetest memories. Warmth was your hands on my knee in the chilled restaurant where we sat, among two conversations, but together in song. 
Now, there is only heat; I am dizzy and I am confused.
— 

Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #58 

“Warmth and Heat,” by book-scented-candles

Loki Is Helpful

Me: *sobbing uncontrollably*

Loki: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Can you pass me a tissue?”


Loki: *passes tissue* “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong, is it feels again?

Me: “No…”

Loki: “Might I give you a hug, it’s not an offer I would usually give but no lady should have tears in her eyes.”

Me: *reaches out whilst nodding* “Why doesn’t anyone accept me for my personality, nobody likes me… they just tell me I suck.. and that the things I like are stupid and that my ideas are stupid… ”

Loki: “Naiveté is what that is. Ignorance and arrogance. Nobody should judge anyone for the things they like or their personality unless they are irritating you are lovely, I do quite enjoy talking to you. Understand that jealousy brings about the worst in a person, speaking from experience.

Me: “Yeah bu-”

Loki: “No, I will not sit here and listen to that. You are lovely and I’m sure everyone else on this website–whom I’m quite certain share the same views as you–would think the same if they got to know you. You’re just unlucky enough to be stuck around people who just don’t deserve to be in your company.”

Me: “They aren’t all bad…”

Loki: “Than why are you talking to me?”

Me: “Because I have only my thoughts for comfort…”



Everyone:



I’m so tired of everyone controlling me and telling me what I can and can’t do. I’m done having people force their opinions on me. I’m tired of everyone saying the things I like are stupid and that my ideas are ridiculous and my dreams are unobtainable. I suppose that just makes me want to fight. So if no one is your friend at this point and if they are and they barely support you? Do what we all do, lean on that one fictional character you love dearly until you find someone who accept you for the person you are and takes everything with you from your flaws to your perfection to the things you hate to the things you like they wont try and change you into what they want because when they chose to be your friend they chose to accept everything you are not what they want you to be.