feeling oh so great about myself


Characters: Dean x Reader

Words: 3162 (see why it’s so long in the note!)

Summary: The reader only every saw three colors- black, white, and green. But as life moved on, she met Dean, and felt better than she ever had. Little did she know he was the key to unlocking every color.

This story is my 200th one shot on tumblr!! Oh my gosh!! I haven’t even had this blog for a full six months, but it feels like so much longer. Thank you all for helping reach this milestone, helping me grow as a writer and as a person. I’ve met a great friend, learned how to grow in my writing, and learned more about myself every single day. This story is so long because I wanted it to be special. It’s not a request, just an idea that I’ve always loved with a little twist. So please, enjoy, and thank you for helping me reach 200 stories. :)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You continuously amaze me with your responses! i was just gonna add that in dan's latest younow someone mentioned how dil got a girlfriend before they did and dan definitely did not try to give out that he's single :') Its so cute that he's like "aww dont feel bad! " like he's trying to indirectly say youre gonna have someone in your life too soon enough and its the cutest thing im sry im getting way ahead of myself have a great day youre my favorite i swear

oh my gosh stop it, yep this message was the cutest thing ever. First off, thank you so much! You’re the sweetest and have made my day :’) 

And I completely agree. I was right there waiting again. He started going on about Dil and I was like "welp I bet this is it. this is when he'll finally attempt to make a #foreveralone type comment.“ BUT NOPE. Another opportunity wasted. I was silently cheering for him lol. And I agree, I also got the same “aww don’t feel bad!” type vibe from his response. There’s actually been a few moments in the last year or so that he has replied in a similar fashion to others complaining about being single. Phil has done this as well. The first instance that came to mind was when he did a younow on Valentine’s Day this year. The girl was like “I’m single and I’m sad.” He replied “There’s nothing wrong with being single! You are your own person.” (x) Like okay that would have again been the perfect time to reaffirm the image that they seemingly want us to have of them. Prime opportunity to relate and say something like “aww me too, we can be single together” or to make some sort of joke about it. I don’t know lol just something along those lines. But that chance was not taken. It’s certainly interesting.

Anyways, thank you again for the kind message! I hope you have a wonderful day as well <3


Get To Know Me Meme - 10 female celebrities

2/10 - Taylor Swift

I really didn’t like the whole serial-dater thing. I thought it was a really sexist angle on my life. And so I just stopped dating people, because it meant a lot to me to set the record straight —that I do not need some guy around in order to get inspiration, in order to make a great record, in order to live my life, in order to feel okay about myself. And I wanted to show my fans the same thing.

nikkielizabxth asked:

My bias is the one and only Kim Jongin. I just have to admit that I have fallen for guy. He's so handsome and has amazing dancing ability. His sexy bronze skin, hip thrusts, and his wonderful laugh...I CAN'T HELP MYSELF BUT JUST FALL FOR HIM!!! Tao: the romantic kung fu ab style panda has also caught my attention. His eyes and his smile give me chest pains whenever I see him. It's wrong but it feels so right😂 #TeamNiKai or #TeamNitao?


That’s so awesome but awful omg. They are both great af in their own way. Have you seen both of their amazing smiles oh gOD

Originally posted by sehontop

^ baes together during overdose lol

-Admin Sienna

Click here for Crazy About Your Bias… Wrecker!

A request and a thank you.

I absolutely love how invested you guys are in Shadow Haven. When I say ‘I never expected’ that, I am not saying it because I’m oh so humble, I just genuinely didn’t think the response would be this great. 

I love how you guys ask me questions, ask for teasers and send me encouraging messages when I’m feeling like shit or insecure about chapters (or in general for that matter). 

I LOVE when you guys leave reviews and comments. They make my day, you have no idea. But here’s also where I find myself in a bit of a conundrum.

Some of you have started calling me ‘Miss’ on FF and in anon messages on here. I know I’ve been a bit vague when asked how I personally feel about D/s. There is a reason for that and one that I do not feel I have to explain. I will say this, consider me 98% vanilla and 2% something other. 

My 2% (honestly, the 98% does as well) loves writing Shadow Haven. It’s a challenge most days but one that I thoroughly enjoy. What I am not enjoying so much is being called ‘Miss’. 

I know you guys means well. Honestly, I do and I’m thankful for it, but it’s not who I am and it’s not who I want to be. This does not mean that I’m on the other side of the spectrum of the D/s scale. It just means that for all intents and purposes, I’m just a socially awkward girl who writes fan fiction stories. 

So, here’s my request and please, please don’t feel bad if you’re someone who has called me that. But please, stop calling me ‘Miss’. It’s making me more and more uncomfortable and it’s keeping me from doing what I love, which is writing. 

Once again, I love how invested you are in this story and I hope you will continue to be and I hope that you will continue to be as amazing as you all are. I appreciate it with all my heart and I can never thank each and everyone of you enough. 


oh and also at dinner one of my friends, with no prompting, just goes “by the way, having sex six times in one night is NOT GREAT FOR YOUR BODY” and then talked about all the sex she had last night and everyone was like giggly and stuff and i sat there feeling so shitty bc i know for a fact i’m the only fucking virgin out of them and I AM SO SICK OF BEING ME I AM SICK OF EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELF I AM SICK OF BEING THE ONE PERSON THAT IS DIFFERENT AND I WANT TO SCREAM

So Worthless

No one really cares,
You only care when I’m like this,
When I’m making my negative feelings known to you.
You don’t care about me.

Not really…

I put myself out there,
And yet you scroll away.
Sure, I might get a heart,
Or a comment or three,
But I’m nothing like the others,

Who are better than me.

Why are they so popular?
Oh, yeah, they are confident and strong.
They are something I’m not,

No matter how hard I try.

I can’t be something I’m not,
I can’t be fantastic, or great,
I am weak, and worthless,

You’ve made it abundantly clear.

You’re only interested in me,
When it is convenient for you,
Or when I make you feel uncomfortable,

Like right now.

So scroll on,
See if I care,
You made me feel worthless,

Because I’ve never really mattered to you.

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to tell you that I love your make-up and cosplay stuff! It always looks so fantastic. I'm sure you put a lot of work and passion into it. I also wanted to say that I find you really beautiful and that you boost my confidence so much! I have a similar face shape like you and always thought I looked super ugly but you always look pretty in your selfies and idk it just makes me feel great. End of my little compliment rant :)

Oh my gosh thank you so much! This message has honestly made my day I’m tearing up a little haha :’)

Insecure about my face too. I have seriously never liked a single picture of me :( but hearing what people like you have said makes me feel a lot better, and I try and tell myself that maybe what I see when I look at myself is different than what everyone else sees, and I’m sure its the same with you. <3 so keep taking selfies you’re beautiful haha!

 Thank you :)

anonymous asked:

I sent you once before message about how I wasn't out to anyone as genderfluid and told you about me being mistaken as a boy, and this week I finally told one of my best friends and she was so great about it, just wanted to know what pronouns do i want her to use and if I want her to use another name and that she's glad I've learned to love myself after coming to terms with the fact that I don't necessarily feel like a female etc. it was super great and I hope to tell another friend soon too :)

Oh my goodness, I am so happy for you! That is so fantastic to have the support from your best friend and her understanding it right off the bat. Coming out should honestly always be that simple even though it seems to not be for most people. <3 

anonymous asked:

Oh man i just wanna let you guys know this is my favourite blog at the moment. As a trans boy myself, i really like imagining my faves as being like me, and relating to them. It makes me feel so much better when i feel dysphoric or invalid. So thank you. Also as a side note; femme trans boy Tyler Joseph.

i’m so glad that you like this blog. i feel the same way about it honestly. 

yes!!! femme trans boy tyler is so great. tyler wearing skirts and putting flowers in his hair and wearing feminine clothes and not caring what anyone else says about how he presents himself bc he’s a boy and boys can enjoy feminine stuff.


lorena0217 asked:

I honestly love your art and creativity! It really inspires me to do my own art. (I've actually tried but failed). You're a really great artist. I'm not a pokeshipper or contestshipper, but your art is so cute! Keep up the good work! ^^

Oh why thank you! ^_^ I don’t get contacted very often about my skills. I understand your personal interests are opposite of mine and that’s okay. I just am flattered that you would take a moment to compliment me. I feel as though I’m still not where I would like to be even after 15 yrs of substantial teaching myself how to get close enough.

me: *nuts*
me 2 min later: … …. oh my god our existence is so fragile and I’ve literally done nothing with mine I am less than a grain of sand in our massive cosmos yet my own suffering is all i feel because my reality has only experienced a molecular fragment of this earth I am awful to think people care about anything I do and it is meaningless for me to care about them but I have no choice but to feel the weight of other individuals because I know so few and they take up such a great part of myself which in turn only underlines how small we really are if the world ended now the rest of the universe would still exist without us minus the manifestation of it within our own conscious that makes it out to be as big as it is within an expensive conscious all around me are familiar faces worn out places worn out places

anonymous asked:

Me: catching feelings for my sister's ex boyfriend he's tall and sweet and 3 years older than me and he has a fly nice dick (don't ask how I know) but tbh I really wanna be with him I h8 myself (but not as much as I hate my sister!!!!)

oh dear that is complicated 😬 tbh boys are so temporary but ur sister will always be ur sister so i would be careful!

talk to me about your crush!!

Happy Birthday Suzy! ( flapflaps) your such an amazing girl, and its such a great thing your here on this planet to make so many people happy and be their inspiration! Your so full of life and happiness, and you make me feel so good about myself especially during times when I don’t feel that way. I thank you from the bottom of heart for all you do, and when I meet you someday, I’ll be sure to give you the biggest hug i can! Keep being amazing, Suzy!

Oh you know. First few hours back and I already feel like shit about myself. And college. And life. And life choices. And as my person as a whole.
Thanks family. You been great.
It sucks too cuz my mom is normally supporting but when she’s influenced by her sisters, my grandparents, and so forth she isn’t as supportive as I would want her.
Lol someone distract me in LA. :/

yessmilesstuff asked:

Hi there! Once you get this you have to publicly say 5 things you like about yourself, then send it to ten of your favorite followers

uh oh god okay 

1) i’m reeeaaallly good at making everyone hate me :)

2) one of my talents is being a pushover and not standing up for myself so my life ends up being really awful for me and i just put up with it ^_^

3) its so great that im becoming too scared to talk to anyone including people i consider my friends :D

4) i just LOVE that the only thing i tend to think about is how insignificant i am and how my life has no real meaning (/ * *)/ 

5) and finally its just such a comforting feeling that i feel like i have no worth or talent and i think that every compliment anyone ever gives me is some part of ongoing joke and i hate myself!!!!!!!!!!!

bottledpestilence asked:

Once you get this you have to list ten things you like about yourself. Once you are finished send this to you ten favorite blogs

Oh my gosh, I just found this from the depths of my inbox. Sorry it has taken this long to answer!

I’m not great at coming up with positive things about myself so let’s see if I can get ten…

  1. Even though I don’t often feel like it, I’m good at my chosen profession.
  2. I’m considerate of others (too much, maybe).
  3. I can sing and remember an absolute ton of song lyrics.
  4. I pick up languages really fast.
  5. I’m very sensible with things like money.
  6. I care and feel deeply (to a flaw) about people and things I believe in, and don’t give up easily.
  7. I don’t know about you, but I think I have a pretty great taste in music.
  8. I’m always on time.
  9. I have the strangest dimples which are kinda cute.
  10. I’ve been able to cut down on my Coke habit (the drink, not the drug) which is really good because I used to drink tons of it every day.

Phew! That was difficult. Thank you for choosing me :3

Day 31

I’m not sure what to dream about these days. I fear that I will fall in love with hope and be oh-so-sad when the future shifts and I have to pack my suitcase and leave.

All possibilities seem wonderful. I just want to know.

I visited two publishing houses today and they were great. Workman had a more warehouse, indie feel whereas Hachette was all opulence and feng shui. I waver between wanting to stay in this city and chasing mountains.

After my interview today, I treated myself with groceries from Trader Joe’s and an hour of lying in my bed and staring at the ceiling.

Everything is fine. Everything is hopeful.

pocmagnuschase asked:

3, 4, 7, 8, 9

3: talk about the person you’ve had the most romantic feelings for

OH MY GOD she’s so sweet and hilarious. We met in an acting class and she’s honestly rlly great!!! We were paired up in a scene, which was kinda how I ended up introducing myself cause I’m a weak price of shit. I was 11 and she was 12 at the time and we clicked like right away and became best friends. We took the homeschool class together and we would have sleepovers the night before class and carpool in the morning. She’s so funny and nice and has a great fashion and music taste and I would trust her with my life. She moved away though, but we still talk a lot. (Apparently my mom thinks she is a bad influence because I was a huge beat when she moved away but she’s helped me a lot)

4: the thing I regret most so far

Not continuing to play keyboard. I’ve now forgotten how and I wish I didn’t.

7: biggest insecurity

My personality. It’s hard to be myself in real life, but I’m getting better. I mean, I can be myself effortlessly on here and feel comfortable. Being out in real life and being myself is hard you know? I’ve never been bullied really, or knew if someone was making fun of me. I had friends when I was in school, then I was homeschooled and I really went into myself. I was kinda shy before but now it’s a new level now I guess??

8: talk about the thing u are most proud of (I can’t talks about the number one so here is number 2) I WORKED WITH BRENDA STRONG FOR A MENOPAUSE COMMERCIAL LMAO 9: talk about the little things on your body that you like the most I like the shape of my lips and my nose and my jaw line and my cheekbones tbh


replied to your post

“I was out having a good night with a friend & then I found out my…”

I feel the “outing myself just to spite my grandma” thing so hard. My grandma would disown me but I’ve already disowned her so idec. Just to see the stupid look her stupid face would be great.

yeah & like, w/this whole rainbow icon thing (which despite my complaining i did after i heard about what my grandma did) like i was actually really surprised to see a few members fr my mom’s side of the family do it. like, i thought all of them were openly homophobic but now its like oh, a couple arent? i was just rly startled bc my grandma posted my oldest sister’s fb picture on a public church group like ‘oh shes misguided pray 4 her’ & someone tried to politely call her out & she got super offended like i knew she was homophobic but come on

i honestly hav no idea how itd go over if they found out but tbh i think im just gonna do it
as a good friend once told me
fuck ‘em