feeling motherfucking good

Instructor: “Okay, everyone, here’s your task: plot a route from Point A [on top of a mountain] to Point B [several miles away at sea level]. You have ten minutes, go.”
Dumbass B: “Alright, so how are we going to do this?”
Me: *actually examining the map closely* “We should go south, over the top of the mountains, and then cut across the valley.”
Dumbass A: *looking at the map from further away* “No, we should follow the river west, and then south.”
Me: “No, we can’t follow the river; we need to go south first because-”
Dumbass A: “No, see, the river goes east to west, so we should just follow the river. It’s an easy landmark.”
Me: “I get what you’re saying but-”
Dumbass A: “I’m not singling you out or anything; I’m teaching the group. We should follow the river.”
Dumbass B: “So, follow the river?”
Me: *throws hands up* “Fuck it.”

*ten minutes later*

Dumbass B: “So, here’s our route. We’re going to head west along the river, and then south.”
Instructor: *tilts head, narrows eyes, smiles, looks at me*
Me: *blank stare back*
Instructor: *looks back at the others, amused* “So, why’d you pick that route?”
Dumbass A: *notices the instructor’s reaction, finally looks at the map closely, remains silent*
Dumbass B: “Well, uh, we just, uh-”
Me: “They wanted. To follow. The river.”
Dumbass B: “Yeah! It’s a distinguishable landmark, so it’s easy to follow!”
Instructor: *nods* “Yeah, it is… and you just followed it right over the side of a cliff.”
Dumbass B: *actually looks at the map closely, finally sees the 1000 meter drop off along the plotted route and an indicated waterfall* “Oh.”
Instructor: “Congratulations, you killed your squad.”
Me: “Yay.”