feeling constantly down

The Industry

Summary: Your high school sweetheart has a provocative career, of which you’re having a difficult time adjusting to. Pornstar AU- Bucky Barnes is an adult film star
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Characters: Female Reader, Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson
Word Count: 2.3K
Warnings: Explicit subject matter and cursing

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“Cut!” The harsh yell of Justin Hammer, the middle-aged director of this hell, boomed through the spacious production studio. “James, great job as always. Tasha, we’re going to have to shoot that close up again.” He rises from his chair, crossing his arms. “You keep moving out of the light, and we need you to stay in it so we can get a clear shot of those famous tits of your’s.”

You stand alongside other crew members, watching the muscular back of the blue-eyed man flex as he moves from between the redhead’s legs his mouth had be working on seconds ago. Natasha’s glossy, bare body moves gracefully as she rests into a sitting position. Her eyes look frustrated as she blinks in motion with her soft pants. You watch as Natasha and Bucky share a quick exchange of a particular look, one that only could be shared between people who’ve been working in this industry for awhile. A look you could never understand.  

Hammer strides over to a set of screens, all replaying Bucky’s oral actions and Natasha’s moans on repeat. He stares at the two actors in their field for a handful of minutes before turning back towards the pair who are now standing side by side in satin navy robes. “Let’s take a twenty-minute break, I need to sort out this lighting problem.” He turns back to the screens, muttering instructions to the group of people around him. 

Your eyes peek at the monitors, lingering on the messy head of long, dark hair that rests between the long-legged redhead as his tongue swirls around the slick core of the woman. A sharp pain shoots from within your chest, your eyes glued to the daily horror of your boyfriend having sex with another woman. 

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cookieknights18  asked:

Out of the four Googlpliers, which one do you think is the meme lord?

probably the green one!!!

💙 i feel like the blue one is the sassy strong type. he always keeps an eye on the objectives. he is the leader after all. he does everything by the book, his book. he’s probably a bit of a germaphobe too, always cleaning his and his other’s glasses. always keeps track of schedules.

💛 yellow, from what the community has taken, is the more joyous optimistic one. he needs constant validation that he’s doing the right thing or he’s keeping people satisfied with their searches or content. he probably cried when vine closed. he loves recommending things, especially pleasant things to those who are feeling down.

❤️ red constantly knows what’s going on in the world. he keeps up with all the current events and he’s not afraid to voice his opinion. he’s a bit of a hot head. he’s a bit impatient, wants to keep everything up to speed, and doesn’t know his own strength. he’s probably a fitness buff?? good with directions. he’s second in command, pretty much.

💚 green is the more mellow one. he’s quieter than all the others, but he knows how to keep a watchful eye. he knows what things are popular now and keeps up with the latest trends. he probably scrolls through pinterest in his spare time. he’s definitely the high class memer and sends the most quality™ memes to their group chat. (yellow always gets a kick out of it)

honestly, being a 1D fan was genuinely so stressful and upsetting in terms of how the boys were treated and what the team would give to the fans. I remember constantly feeling let down by their team and wanting so much more because it felt like the boys deserved the world, yet I never felt like they got treated in the way that needed. They never really got the chance to promote their albums to a wider range of audience, they only released the songs that would appeal to teenage girls, their team never understood that so many of us are NOT just teenage girls and we DON’T all want to date the boys. Everything was promoted at het teenage girls, well with the shitty promoting that their team could manage. They would release their worst, most radio friendly, mainstream songs and never aimed to gain new fans with their singles. But this, this is just the best thing that’s ever happened to the boys. Seeing Harry proving himself to every single person in the world, performing on the late late show everyday and nailing it, out there having the time of his life with Stevie Nicks, his team giving us small intimate performances, giving us behind the album footage, letting harry wear whatever the fuck he wants and make music however the fuck he wants, shit like this that makes harry happy gives back to the fans because it’s like seeing him finally able to do everything he ever dreamed of doing is all we ever wanted. I honestly can’t wait for our boys to all release their albums and to get everything that they deserve.

I’m like the hulk but instead of my powers being activated by anger it’s stress and instead of turning into a ten foot green rage monster I don’t have powers

You say there are no lesser men
only saints we’ve yet to understand.
So how do I stand before you?
The fabled fool, the bitch of fortune.
You smile and preach forgiveness,
yet condemn my bones in the same breath.
And still I’m glad to serve you,
for kings need jesters too
—  you cast the shadow of all my mistakes // t.s
The Perils of Academic Snapes

Or, In Which I Take a Break from the Unfinished Paper to Post about the Finished One

Me @ me: Okay self, we’re going to have to look at “The Prince’s Tale” for instances of the subjunctive mood in Snape’s dialogue.  Do not fall down the Snape feelings rabbit hole, okay?  We don’t have time.  We are here for objective linguistic research and not crying, okay?  Okay cool let’s go.


hey folks

so as many of you have probably noticed, i’ve been quite inactive recently. i’m not really sure how much time has passed between me actually finishing and posting things but my lack of sense of time is definitely also a feature as to why i’ve barely posted.

recently i’ve been struggling with a really big resurgence in a ton of my mental issues, as well as just general insecurities involving my work and all that. i’m constantly feeling down and unmotivated, and it’s hard to produce any actual decent art because i can barely finish anything ive started.

along with trying my best to keep up with school work and grades as well as all that, i just have constant weight on my shoulders and find it hard to do any work. so i’m gonna put this blog into a state of semi-hiatus until i find myself motivated again.

thank you all for understanding.

i feel that i should add in my guidelines about my versatile writing style, i don’t know; but since my style never sticks to just one way, i feel like that’s… important?

you may be voidkin if...

disclaimer: these don’t go for everyone, these are just some common things i’ve noticed within the voidkin community

  • you basically do everything in the dark 
  • you enjoy dark, humid, hot, spaces
  • you feel lost, dead on the inside and dead on the outisde
  • you like rooms with lots of blankets and glow stars and dim lights
  • you feel emotionless // empty // exhausted // unfulfilled
  • you have a strong connection with space, the void, the abyss
  • you feel over compassing or ever expanding 
  • you don’t really have emotions, you just seem to “float” or “exist”
  • you feel a dark energy about you, cloudy, hot and full
  • you have constant thoughts, shaking, violent, cloudy, loud, booming
  • you suffer frequent headaches or migranes
  • you feel a vibration or hear the soft hum of the universe breathing
  • you’re spacekin, galaxykin, starkin, planetkin
  • you constantly feel numb, weighed down, crowded
  • you feel a connection with white noise, spacey-esque music
  • you honestly feel like a void


Me: the rr novel might include official Kubo illustrations of Renji&Rukia explicitly being a couple in love

Also me:

Originally posted by love4coira

3:16 a.m. | Taehyung

Description: “I can’t make you say my name, when all you know is hers.”

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 667

You felt the emptiness before you even opened your eyes, but it didn’t make the ache in your chest any less painful when you saw the empty space on your bed, where his body used to lay. You reached forward, running your hand along the rumpled sheets, it was cool to the touch, meaning he’d been gone for a while.

You weren’t sure how long you stared at the vacant area of the bed, a million questions running through your mind. Did he hesitate when he climbed out of the sheets, silently slipping his clothes back on, as he left you alone? Was there an intense feeling of guilt constantly raining down on him like there was for you? Did he care?

You rolled to your back, staring up at the ceiling, the want to sleep completely dissipating from you. Your mind was instead occupied with the memories of tonight. Swollen lips, clashing teeth, fingernails on skin, heavy breathing, lust-filled stares. The thoughts make your heart race as you can almost perfectly remember the feeling of his breath on your skin and his voice in your ear.

But now you were left with nothing.

No person to cuddle into when the night got too cold, no person to wake up to when morning finally came, no person at all. No Taehyung at all.

Just the simple thought of his name was enough to make your stomach twist. It was pathetic you thought, how he was able to make you feel such happiness with a few simple words and brushes from his fingertips, only to swiftly take it away in the same breath.

You weren’t sure why you kept letting him snake back into your life—well that wasn’t actually true, you knew exactly why.

Even though you knew it was wrong, the thought of never getting to be with him again was too heartbreaking to consider. Even if the only way you could be with him was in this shallow sexual way, at least it was something. But this arrangement was indeed taking a deadly toll on your conscience.

You wondered, did he feel bad at all? When he slinked out of your apartment late at night and back to his own did his heart shake with anxiety from his actions?

This is how it usually went, the loneliness that he left you with soon turned into a fiery anger. You reached for the pillow that his head used to lay on bringing it up to your face, where you screamed out your frustrations for not only him, but for yourself as well. Why were you so weak? Why did you keep letting him come back?

Because you loved him, and you didn’t know how to stop. You wanted to think in some strange way he still loved you too, but who was he even capable of love when he was willing to do something like this with you.

You let out a deep sigh of frustration as you reached over to the side table next your bed, grabbing your phone.  It lit up showing you had one unread message.


You hesitantly slid his name to the side, allowing the message to come into view.

I’m sorry I keep doing this.

The words make your heart shake, and your eyes sting with tears. You took a quick look at the time before tossing the device to the end of the bed. You curl into a ball, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth as you tried to not only wipe the words of his text from your mind, but also the memories of tonight. After a while you can’t stop the resilient streaks of wetness from escaping down your face. You decide to just let yourself feel, and release all of this pent up sadness and heartache.

His words said he was sorry, and maybe he actually was, but that didn’t change the fact that at 3:16 a.m. you were always alone when he never was.

In case you're curious what cramps feel like...

You know that feelings when you have to pee so bad but physically, you just can’t? Ok. Times that by ten. You remember growing pains- that horrid ache in whatever place it was, just no stop aching and pain? Put that to your lower back and mostly in the front side of that,Times that by ten and add to the other feeling. Now, add in the feeling of constantly having liquid down there, kinda like you’re peeing but you’re not. You’re leaking, it’s uncomfortable and hard to walk because of the large amount of liquid between your legs. Ok add in a terrible stomach ache, so bad where you’re starving but you feel so awful you’re nauseas. Add in the bloating feeling, like you just ate the entire thanksgiving turkey, and the unending shitting to be blunt.
This all but together is what it’s like to have cramps while menstruating. It hurts to move, laugh, cough, sneeze, talk to loudly, stand up straight or even laying down sometimes hurts.
For all curious people wanted to know how it genuinely feels besides the generic “it feels like having sex with a chainsaw” comment.

anonymous asked:

You are really sweet and I like your blog, In times like these we need positivity especially lately in the fandom

💙💚💛💜❤ thank you anon. I try to keep my blog drama free unless I am specifically asked my opinion. Even then, I try to keep it positive! Because who likes constantly feeling down when they are on tumblr?? This is a site I go to to relax and have a good time!!!

Nah let’s keep on the happy trail😘

anonymous asked:

oooh a headcanon with rfa members jumin and zen that mc has been constantly been feeling down and the insecurities starting to grow and one day mc blurts "why do you even love me?"

Question how did you pick my two fav characters??? you must be psychic


  • He’s…taken aback
  • He noticed you weren’t as chipper recently, but he just assumed it had to do with stress from school
  • “I love you for everything, MC, you’re the kindest and most understanding person i’ve ever met in my entire life”
  • He spents hours explaining the things he loves about you (spoiler alert, its everything. Like actually every single thing he knows about you he loves)
  • You end up telling him there are so many reasons for him not to love you, and the things you never liked about yourself, because how could he possibly be attracted to those things?
  • This sends him into another long speech
  • He literally loves you so much, and when he hears you don’t like something about yourself, he can’t believe it. He was never grossed out by the extra fat on your thighs, or how you snort when you laugh to hard
  • he just. loves you. more than anything in the entire world, and he makes sure you know it.


  • He gets scared bc did he do something to make you think he didn’t love you?
  • When you explain through tears that you don’t like all these things about yourself, and just ask how such a wonderful person like him could love someone like you
  • he pulls you into a hug
  • You realize a few seconds later that he’s crying
  • he starts telling you that he loves you and thinks you’re so perfect and just. incredible
  • He just wants you to know that he loves you no matter what; especially for those things you said you didn’t like