feeling alone in a crowded room

The signs as I know them

Aries: a fiercely protective lover, continuing an argument when you know you’re wrong, passionate loyalty, pushing past your comfort zone, fights that turn into sex, standing outside in the rain and screaming. Freedom. impulsive behavior. Loud and intense. Home.

Taurus: comfort food. Staying in bed on a rainy day. Smart but stubborn. Quiet calculations. Staying up all night talking. Outer space. Lazy days.

Gemini: books and coffee. Friendship tattoos. Smart and resilient. Beautiful. Making friends wherever you go. Two types; either wildly successful and organized like Pinterest in real life or a chaotic mess. Prone to addiction. Living art.

Cancer: musically inclined. Long walks downtown. Deep intellectual talks that leave you feeling calm but exhausted. Ambition. Second chances.

Leo: Staying up too late and drinking too much. Laughing until you can’t breathe. Doing your makeup drunk. Irresponsible decisions that make for good stories. Platonic kissing. Being held when you’re sad. Loyal friendships. Loud and exciting. Not talking for months and picking up where you left off.

Virgo: White furniture. Homemade Halloween costumes and holiday crafts. Careful and calculated. Cleaning for fun. Alphabetized book cases. Never saying ‘I told you so’ even when you’re always right. Motherly. Nurturing.

Libra: memes. Vibrant and super friendly. Always smiling. Eager to please and doesn’t like to disappoint. Goal oriented, and unstoppable once they have an idea. Surprise parties. Pretending you aren’t in love when you are.


Scorpio: staying up all night watching horror movies. Secretive and endearing. Will hold a grudge forever. Cemetery dates. Rough sex. The sound of a thunderstorm outside of your window. Feeling warm in a cold room. Extreme emotional intelligence.


Sagittarius: wanderlust. Forgetting to text back for days at a time. Always somewhere far away; unreachable. Feeing alone in a crowded room. Getting stoned and cuddling in bed all day. Japanese art. Staying out past curfew. Singing like nobody’s around. Inconsistent and deeply conflicted. Anime. Saying we’d still be friends.


Capricorn: Pretending to not like people but being really lonely. Cold. Immaculate attention to detail. Ambitious and unyielding. I haven’t met that many Capricorns.

Aquarius: Talking about alchemy and aliens all night. Doing drugs because I felt sad and you’re a good friend. Listening to me cry about a boy you told me was bad for me. Feels a lot more than they pretend to. Fireball whiskey. Marijuana.

Pisces: Knowing things before you’re told. Crystals. Tarot cards. Your life is a wreck but you always know what to say to help others. Die hard loyalty. Organized mess. Daydreaming all day. Boxed wine. Drunken yoga. A warm hug and a feeling of security. Selfless love.

Some of the days will be like children running, playing and laughing at the park. Families eating together inside a comfy restaurant. Teenagers walking hand in hand. A lovely lady inside a fancy boutique trying a dress with her smile and lips apart. Some of the days will be sunny as if the whole world decided to spread a happy vibe. But we both know darling, that some of the days will also be like silence in a crowded room. Like a man alone sitting on a bench watching people passed in front of him from morning to noon. Some of the days will make you love yourself more, yet some days will make you realize how people tend to judge one another. Some of the days will make you feel like you wanted to change the world because of everything you feel—because of the worst things you’ve seen. Some of the days will make you want to smile at every single stranger who you’ll meet. As if you wanted them to see how wonderful the day is. Some of the days will tell you who you are, and some days will drag you somewhere else trying to tell you that you’re lost again. Yet also maybe every day might be all the same to you. Because you’ve been doing the same thing again and again. But darling, when you try to look back, years from now, you will always find yourself wondering what time can do to us. That no matter how many times you tell to yourself that nothing is different, if it’s not you, then the world will always make you realize that a lot of things already changed. Including every people around you. Even you.
—  ma.c.a // Days in a Year

I miss you

I miss the sound of your laugh—carefree and light,
Like a favorite song I hadn’t heard in awhile.

I miss your smile, beaming brighter than a thousand suns…
Lighting up the darkest of places,
Infectious in its intensity

I miss the feel of your lips on mine
Perfect and full

I miss it
The way the moment I ventured to kiss you
A match lit in a methane filled room
The intensity with which you’d grab me

Hungry
As if you’d been craving me
All this time that we were apart…

I miss dancing with you
Alone together in a crowded room
The music mesmerizing
Our bodies moving in perfect synchronization
Swaying to the beat
Every nerve ending ablaze
Electricity crackling between us

I miss the way you looked at me that night
Your eyes never leaving mine
Two lost souls seeking the North Star
Existing in an eclipse
And discovering, for the first time,
The moon again.

I miss the way we made everything feel like an adventure
I miss the way we made everything brand new

I miss the peace you brought me
Like a warm fire on a cold day
Like coming home…

Your existence a ray of hope
That I might not be alone in this world.

Soothing my fears
Of a future unknown
Of a future alone.

—  Unknown

Aries: “I can’t love when I can’t even love myself. Things I would rather be, thoughts at the back of my head. But I’m addicted to hurting. And I got these lungs.. And I spend too many late nights, just thinking a hole in the earth. (Drugs, Eden)

Taurus: “Change comes for you, even when you’re hiding out. So take hold of me, and hang on ‘till the hurt is gone.” (The Hurt Is Gone, Yellowcard)

Gemini: “I’ll use you as a warning sign, that if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind. And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be, right in front of me. Talk some sense to me.” (I Found, Amber Run)

Cancer: “There she was like a starry night. Like a Ferris wheel, full of blue green eyes. And a heart of steel, always on her own. Almost never real.” (Even If She Falls, Blink-182)

Leo: They say ‘It’s time to grow up and stop with these foolish games.’ But I say they’re wrong. She says: ‘Go, go, go! I don’t want to take it slow! There’s plenty of time for us to finally get it right. Why don’t we crash and burn tonight?‘” (Go Go Go, Sleeping With Sirens)

Virgo: “I’d give up forever to touch you, 'cause I know that you feel me somehow. You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now.” (Iris, Goo Goo Dolls)

Libra: “People help the people. And if you’re homesick, give me your hand and I’ll hold it.” (People Help The People, Birdy)

Scorpio: “You want the heart, or to be saved. But even good guys still get paid. So watch my back, and keep the blade. I think it got you laid. So fake your death, or it’s your blame. And leave the lights on when you stay, take of your clothes. And dream that fame. Come on and feel that shame.” (Fake Your Death, My Chemical Romance)

Sagittarius: “I’m young and I am free. But I get tired and I get weak. I get lost and I can’t sleep. But suddenly, suddenly, I am small and the world is big. All around me is fast moving, surrounded by so many things. Suddenly, suddenly. How does it feel, to be, different than me? (How Does It Feel, Avril Lavigne)

Capricorn: “It’s funny I got all this money but my heart’s still broke. So many times I said “Imma change.” Just to turn around and do the same, same shit that’s been putting you in pain. Won’t say I’m affected by the fame, but even my mama knows I’ve changed.” (Sinner, Phora)

Aquarius: “Slow down, this night’s a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I’m here with you? I said the world could be burning down. Dark blue, dark blue, have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well I’m here with you. I said the world could be burning 'till there’s nothing but dark blue. Just dark blue.” (Dark Blue, Jack’s Mannequin)

Pisces: “Do you believe in hallucinations?
Silly dreams or Imagination? Don’t go away 'cause I feel you this time. Don’t go away 'cause I need you here this time (Hallucinations, Angels & Airwaves)

—  Lyrics I associate the signs with.
Possible Traits of Aspergers in Females

This by no means a comprehensive list, it is simply a reference point, not a diagnostic tool. If you identify with a majority of this list and wish to receive a diagnosis, consult a medical professional, preferably a specialist in autism spectrum disorders who has had experience diagnosing women.

  • Tends to analyze everything constantly
  • Often straightforward and practical in nature.
  • Often gets lost in own thoughts and zones out (may display a blank stare)
  • May appear naive or innocent (despite not being so)
  • Prone to honesty, has difficulty lying
  • May struggle to understand manipulation, disloyalty, vindictive behavior and retaliation.
  • May be gullible and easily taken advantage of, misled, or conned.
  • May have feelings of confusion and isolation in relation to others
  • Escapism frequently used to relax or avoid overwhelming situations.
  • Often holds fixations, obsessions, and extreme interest in specific topics.
  • Finds comfort in escaping through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming.
  • Often has slower reaction times due to need for mental processing.
  • May have had imaginary friends as a child.
  • Frequently imitates (takes social cues from) people on television or in movies.
  • May obsessively collect, organize, count, categorize, or rearrange objects.
  • Often highly adapted to social imitation.
  • May find math and numbers easier to deal with due to logic and lack of objective answers.
  • May struggle to relax or rest due to many racing thoughts.
  • Often has comorbid conditions, such as OCD, anxiety, ADD or ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.
  • Often has sensory processing disorder (sight, sound, texture, smells, taste)
  • May have dyspraxia (Poor muscle tone, lack of coordination and depth perception)
  • May have dyslexia
  • May have an eating disorder or food obsessions
  • May have been misdiagnosed or diagnosed with other mental illness or possibly labeled a hypochondriac.
  • Tends to drop small objects
  • May frequently engage in “stimming” (self-stimulation) i.e., flicks fingernails, flaps hands, drums fingers, rubs hands/fingers, tucks hands under or between legs, clenches fists, twirls hair, taps foot/shakes leg, sways side to side, spins in circles, bouncing up and down, rocking, etc.
  • May use various noises to express herself rather than using words.
  • May have a tendency to over-share with friends and sometimes strangers
  • May have little impulse control when speaking
  • May accidently dominate conversation at times.
  • Often relates discussion back to self (sharing as a means of reaching out)
  • May be incorrectly seen as narcissistic
  • Often sounds eager or over-zealous at times.
  • May feels as if she is attempting to communicate “correctly.”
  • Often struggles with and is confused by the unwritten social rules of accurate eye contact, tone of voice, proximity of body, stance, and posture in conversation.
  • Eye contact often takes extreme focus, which may lead an individual’s eye contact to be darting and insufficient, or over-the-top staring/glaring.
  • May have difficulty regulating voice volume to different situations. Is frequently observed as being either too loud or too quiet.
  • Conversation, specifically small talk, can be exhausting.
  • May have trouble focusing on/engaging in conversation that is not centered on one’s primary interests.
  • May observe and question the actions and behaviors of self and others continually.
  • May have difficulty with back-and-forth conversation
  • Trained self in social interactions through readings and studying of other people.
  • Visualizes and practices how she will act around others and before entering various social situations.
  • Difficulty filtering out background noise when talking to others.
  • Has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how to act when in a social situations.
  • Sense of humor sometimes seems quirky, odd, or different from others.
  • As a child, it may have been hard to know when it was her turn to talk, may still be true as an adult.
  • Often finds the norms of conversation confusing.
  • Tend to say what they mean. Are often brutally honest, coming off as rude when they do not mean to be.
  • May feel misunderstood and tend to over-explain/ramble in an attempt to compensate for possible miscommunication.
  • Feels extreme relief when she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house.
  • Feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the calendar.
  • Knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes up.
  • The steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting to think about.
  • Must prepare herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments.
  • Question next steps and movements continually.
  • Often needs a large amount of down time or alone time.
  • May feel extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, or dressing rooms.
  • Tends to dislike being in crowded areas.
  • Difficulty sleeping due to sensitivity to environment
  • May be highly intuitive to others’ feelings, although may not appear to react to them ‘correctly’ in social situations
  • May take criticism and judgement very personally
  • May frequently adapt her viewpoints or actions based on others’ opinions
  • Dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people.
  • May have had a desire to collect or rescue animals, usually in childhood.
  • Often holds great compassion for suffering.
  • May try to help, offer unsolicited advice, or formalize plans of action.
  • Imitates others without realizing.
  • May exhibit codependent behaviors.
  • May frequently reject or question social norms.
  • Chameleon-like in social situations. Often switches preferences and behaviours based on environment and other people.
  • May outwardly appear to have little investment in hygiene, clothes, or appearance, often prefers fast and easy methods of style.
  • Clothing style is likely more focused on comfort and practicality, especially in the case of sensory issues.
  • May possess a youthful appearance and/or voice.
  • May have trouble recognizing what she looks like and/or has slight prosopagnosia (difficulty recognizing or remembering faces).
  • The emotions of oneself and others may seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable.
  • Expects that by acting a certain way certain results can be achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always manifest.
  • Often speaks frankly and literally.
  • Certain kinds of humor, such as sarcasm and metaphors, may be difficult to understand.
  • Can be confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and betray.
  • Often has trouble identifying feelings in others unless they are extreme.
  • Trouble with the emotions of hate and dislike.
  • May have feelings of pity for someone who has persecuted/hurt her.
  • Situations and conversations sometimes perceived as black or white.
  • The middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood. (All or nothing mentality).
  • May notices patterns frequently.
  • May be fascinated by words or song lyrics.
  • Tends to best remember/learn things in visual pictures (visual thinkers).
  • May have a remarkable memory for certain details, i.e., may find it surprisingly easy to remembers exact details about someone’s life.
  • Executive function is often a challenge
  • Learning to ride a bike or drive a car may be rather difficult.
  • Anything that requires a reasonable amount of steps, dexterity, or know-how can rouse a sense of panic.
  • The thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause anxiety.
  • May have a hard time finding certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other objects are.
  • May frequently second-guess oneself and ask a lot of questions before engaging a task or situation

This list was compiled from various personal accounts and symptom lists. It is subjective and does not include every identifiable trait. Nor is it entirely medically accurate. Please do your own research into AS before self-diagnosing. 

When reblogging, feel free to add additional traits you believe to be common in AS females that will be useful for others to know.

anonymous asked:

hey if you're still doing prompts, the time(s) someone outside of the team (or inside) mistakes aaron for andrew or the other way around?? thanks!! i love your writing!!

There should be some sort of rule, Aaron thinks, that identical twins have to avoid celebrity. 

It was disarming enough to be a teenager the first time he saw his own face with nothing inside of it, like an indifferent stone likeness. Then Andrew went and got himself famous, made himself important to everyone (including Aaron). He stares out from magazine spreads with his middle finger up when Aaron goes through the checkout counter, and he follows him closely with his reputation.

He’s had patients bow out of the exam room when they heard their intern was ‘A. Minyard’. He’s had anger and relief flip toggles in his chest when he caved and bought a magazine, finding Andrew and Neil piled in Exy gear to promote a product. They looked uncommitted and severe except when they were jostled together and shot from the side, candid, staring. 

It almost makes him miss the moments with the foxes when everything was as simple as watching Andrew’s face for the changes and catching the wave to the next game.

But it’s better to have the kind of work that he knows he does best, stockpiled for the rest of medical school and the rest of his life after that. It feels good to stretch on rubber gloves and distance himself from the worst sort of rot in the world. 

It feels good for his feet to throb and his head to twist itself into knots, and to come home to Katelyn, who always tries to wait up for him and never can. She passes out with her legs over the armrest of their secondhand couch and her hair fanned over the cushions. He kisses her awake more often than not.

He goes for runs, sometimes, like he never did in college. It’s when his own reflection makes his neck prickle and he thinks, god, he’s here. He’s never not here. If you’re a twin you’re a member of a club, and you’re constantly in uniform.

He gets stopped on the street and asked for his autograph, and he feels comforted to know that his “piss off” is gentler than whatever Andrew would have said. 

He sees his own face hoisted at pride, watches Andrew become half of a relationship that handcuffs exy to entire social movements, and it coaxes old fear into his blood. It takes some wrangling and undoing of rusted closed spigots before he realizes that he’s impressed, too. 

He hates Neil out of habit. He watches the sun make new colours with Katelyn’s hair at 5 am. He puts his alarm on snooze just so he can lie there with her. He likes that his life is a can on a string, and somewhere, tossed out into another state, in a high-rise with blackout curtains and an orange cat, Andrew has the other can.

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saturn is a point of stress in the natal chart; where it is located indicates themes in our life in which seek clarity. we try to perfect this part of our lives & personality, and subsequently have much to learn from saturn’s house placement. this self-imposed pressure can truly crack some.

if your saturn falls in…

your first house, you seek to perfect your image and impression; thus, you may appear quite serious. your worldview is critical and you may find yourself quite skeptical. your perception of the world and others takes time to fully accept.

your second house, your concern is for financial security and a crystal clear set of values. you may accept your morals as an objective view and have troubles relating to others’ values.

your third house, you are careful with your words, and to want to speak with purpose. communication is deeply important to you. may be critical of your education growing up & thus struggled.

your fourth house, your family structure was one you took responsibility for. you may have felt compelled to grow up early to take care of your family. possible critical view of the father or authoritative parent.

your fifth house, uninhibited creativity may be hard to achieve. you may, quite literally, take fun seriously; you seek to perfect technique in your artistic endeavors of choice. may unfairly compare yourself to idols in that vein.

your sixth house, you may feel compelled to take on a lot of responsibilities in work, whether you’re prepared for it or not. may over-exert yourself and this can indicate tendencies of a hypochondriac. you put serious value in hard work.

your seventh house, you find yourself sacrificing in your partnerships. you feel your standards are just and fine, but there is much to learn to benefit from your relationships. you may feel like an old soul without knowing why.

your eighth house, you may feel you understand all there is to know about the world. lessons are needed to embrace the metaphysical that you can be very acute to. may stress & obsess over others’ belongings and values, intimacy, and life changes/mortality.

your ninth house, you may feel a desire to have control over a philosophy or religion of life. may have felt repressed or forced to believe a certain way and this carries confusion into adult life. you fervently seek the truth of any ideology you can get your hands on.

your tenth house, you may stress about your public image and the immense effort you put to making your goals reality. there may be a sensitivity to critique. possibility of taking a long time to cultivate your persona & desired career.

your eleventh house, there is a desire for control of crowds. there are lessons to be learned in this, as well as cultivating empathy for others. may indicate feelings of isolation, ‘alone in a room full of people.’ feeling lack of support.

your twelfth house, your sense of self-control is difficult to actualize. you may feel as though the odds are always stacked against you. may yearn for an overly-structured way of life to compensate for a chaotic inside. may indicate difficulty moving on. may be constantly fearful without understanding the source.

You Get What You Give (Long Distance)

Requested: Yes

Summary: Where Harry’s just begun his solo career and performing is everything that he’s ever dreamed of; he can’t help but feel so alone sometimes though. Feeling as though everyone has someone, and he’s so out of the loop with his love life that it brings an imbalance. However, you can’t take everything and expect to give nothing in return or for everything to be ok for forever.

Word Count: 1,700

Pairing: Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Desperation, Reference to sex, Loneliness, Cursing

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Nursey doesn’t like sleeping alone because three am is when his depression hits harder and he finds himself crying and questioning his existence and remembers that he’s getting what people constantly call a useless degree and believes he’ll never be needed at all in life

Anyway this happened at 3am in the hotel room after an away game and Chowder called practically the whole team into their room because he heard Nursey sniffling and Nursey wouldn’t open up to him about it and that’s how the SMH team ended up crammed in two beds pushed together in a hotel room crowded around Nursey who’s reminded that there are people that need him, even just in that moment, and he appreciates them

Nursey doesn’t really get a chance to sleep alone then on out the team sort of rotates like Nursey patrol except sometimes there are fights over who gets to sleep next to him because he’s also very warm and soft and he always feels very needed

bad | 02

 He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by whyparkjimin

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

GENRE: romance, smutish, fluff

WORDS: 4 589

WARNINGS: badboy!jungkook, badboy!taehyung, cussing, mature

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07coming soon ↠ 

A/N: you people wanted more, so I’m here to give you more. this is not the last part. again, tell me if you want it to continue. I don’t wanna keep writing if no one cares. and tHANKS FOR 500

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touken’s wedding night headcanons ((mini-fic)) 💖💍

i’ve said on my twitter (you should follow me there as well! 👀 ) that i was going to write a fic about their wedding night, but the truth is that the plot itself is extremely generic, the structure of the fic feels too weak for me to get inspired and start writing, so i decided to write down some of the headcanons that i have for it instead, this could be considered as part of my mini-fics series (read those here!), but in the end this is just a list of all the headcanons for their special night… although at the end i got a bit carried away and it ended up looking like a fanfic 😂 so i don’t know anymore…  enjoy!! ///


Preview:

“This is what I’ve chosen, Kaneki,” she weeps quietly, feeling his lips on her skin. She’s smirking as she cries. “I want this, I want this so badly, and I’m really happy today, I really am… y-you have no idea how badly I wan—”

“I know,” he whispers, quieting her with a kiss. “I know.”

They stay silent for a while, kissing on the lips, kissing each other’s hands, cuddling until Touka feels her body slowly falling into slumber. She’s not quite asleep yet, she can still hear Kaneki’s words whispering “I love you” to her, firmly and desperate, he wants her to hear him. And she does.

She does.

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Life in Color (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Modern AU. An artist in every sense of the word, Bucky sees color in everything, vibrant as they fill his world with magic. What happens when the colors fade? - @mellifluous-melodramas

Word Count: 649

Note: Really Bella? Another series? Yes. Another series. I am irresponsible and have zero impulse control. 

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

Five words. That’s all it took it break Bucky’s heart.

Five small words that held so much weight that they crushed him entirely on what should have been the best night of his life. He could hear them echoing around in his head, drowning out any other thought he could possibly have. Her voice was all he could hear, even though the words hadn’t been spoken. That part almost made it worse, that he had to guess at what she was feeling. Was she sad? Relieved? Angry? He played the words with different inflections, different tones, even though he should’ve known that she would’ve sounded just as indifferent as her text message felt.

I can’t do this anymore.

That’s all she had said. “I can’t do this anymore.” She didn’t care. She was just done.

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There’s a reason we feel lonely even though we’re not alone; It’s because loneliness is not about how many friends we have or how many people there are in the room with us… it’s a disconnection from other human beings. Being social doesn’t cure loneliness; many people socialize when they don’t really feel like it just to keep up appearances. In fact sometimes the most popular person in the crowd is the loneliest of them all because underneath the facade of their superficial projection is a person who is never truly seen or known by anybody. We all have layers of personas and we all pretend we’re okay when we’re not, but loneliness comes when there is not a single person close enough to see past those illusions to who we really are and what we’re really feeling inside.
There is no greater isolation than being trapped inside yourself without another living soul to reach for. And that is why it is possible to feel loneliness when surrounded by people we know and love… because sadly there are times when a person can stand right next to us but not be close enough to really see us. And sometimes there are moments when the loneliest place on earth is being surrounded by people we call friends and knowing not a single one of them knows who we really are.
—  Ranata Suzuki | Loneliness
Which One (NSFW)

Originally posted by anotherscarlettblog

dom!Bucky x sub!Natasha x dom!Reader

Warnings: Smut, dear god so much smut, Принцесса = princess, Мадам = madam, Котенок = kitten, сержант = sergeant

A/N: I’m just cranking out fucking stories today, jesus. This is such a long fucking fic and I’m not even remotely sorry about that. I might need to bathe in holy water after this…


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Suit

Word Count: 638

Requested: No

A/N: I would just like to thank Armani for blessing us today amen.


The area behind the runway was chaotic as photographers, stylists, and other staff members rushed to get the models ready. You walked around carefully as to not disturb any of the employees as you searched for your boyfriend who had been pulled into the rush and was nowhere to be found. This was a big day for Shawn, so you didn’t want to disturb him but you couldn’t help, but feel lost as you wondered around alone.

 It wasn’t until you noticed a larger crowd in one area of dark, busy room than there seemed to be everywhere else until you caught a glimpse of Shawn. His face was being powdered by one of the stylists and you laughed as he scrunched his nose from the feeling. But as your eyes traveled down from his face, you immediately felt a rush of heat over your already hot body.

Shawn was sporting a tightly tailored suit that hugged his body perfectly. The jacket was textured and showed the dark green color in the lighting. You didn’t even notice you were staring until a voice called your name, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“(Y/N)! Hey, babe! Are you just going to sit and stare or….?” Shawn called for you, making your eyes focus back on his face. The smirk was evident on his lips, causing a blush rise to your face in embarrassment.

You shyly walked back over to him, cautious of your eyes slowly roaming back up and down his body. His smirk grew wider, noticing your stare constantly landing on his body. 

“Hey, guys, can I have a quick break? Like 5 minutes? It’s kind of hot in here,” Shawn asked the grew without taking his eyes off you. The crew immediately complied and stepped away from Shawn as he stepped towards you. 

“Enjoying the view?” Shawn asked cockily as you rolled your eyes. His hands wrapped around your waist as his lips found your jaw. 

“Shawn, stop, 5 minutes is not enough time to finish this. Plus, they worked really hard to get you to look like this and I don’t want to be the person to ruin it,” you said, putting your hands on Shawn’s chest to push him away. 

“C’mon baby. We can make it fast. And I wouldn’t mind if you were the person to ruin it….” Shawn whined, not giving up. His grip on your waist got tighter as he tried to back you towards the wall behind you. 

You continued to resist him, but gave up as you realized you were losing the fight. His lips moved down your neck while your hands moved to grip his perfectly styled hair. He chuckled against your skin when he noticed your head had moved to lean against the wall, giving him more access. 

“So I take it you like the suit, princess?” he said with his lips now pressed against your collarbone. You felt your legs turn weak at the sound of the nickname and just nodded your head, not able to come up with an answer. 

“Shawn! What are you doing man? We just finished your hair!” one of the stylists came rushing toward you when he noticed the two of you. Shawn moved away from you with swollen lips and his hair sticking out in different directions. You looked away, embarrassed that you had been caught and that you had ruined his appearance. 

“Sorry, honey. I’ll see you in a little bit?” He said sweetly, giving you a kiss on the forehead. “And then we can finish this up?” he finished, whispering in your ear. He gave you a wink as he walked away

For the remainder of the day, his words and the scene from earlier lingered in your head, making you impatient for what would occur that night.

Cassian x Reader, Part 1

Title: Whatever It Takes / AO3 
Part 2: tumblr
Part 3: tumblr
Length: 7.5k
Series rating: M for language and sexual content (contains some torture)
Summary: Reader and Cassian have kept their relationship a secret but when Reader is captured and tortured by the Empire, it’s obvious to all of Yavin 4 that Cassian will stop at nothing to get her back.
Author’s Note: A lovely anon requested this incredible idea and I immediately fell head over heels in love with it. Starts out pretty angsty but there will be fluff to make everything better, promise. :) Happy reading!! XOXO
Masterlist / WIP List 

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I would never leave you

Request:  Could you maybe do a Newt from TMR imagine where he reader gets hurt and Newt has to take care of her and falls in love with her? Can it be reallyyyy flufyyy and cute? Thank you(:

(A/N): I hope this is what you wanted, thank you for your request! ♥

Fandom: The maze runner

Pairing: Newt x reader

Word count: 2550

warnings: Cranks!

Originally posted by neverland93


Run. You were running as fast as you could, the sound of running engines behind you.

Only minutes ago you laid in a room with Teresa with doctors on the floor around you. You were woken up by Newt, his hand squeezing yours. You had opened your eyes slowly and looked around you. The doctors lay on the ground, out cold, and Thomas and Minho were holding the door.

“Wake up, love, ” he said. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. “What did they do to you?”

“What’s going on?” you asked. Newt opened his mouth to answer, but Thomas interrupted him.

“We really have to go now,” Thomas said.

“guys they’re coming, where do we go?” you heard frypan say. the next moment Thomas kicked a table to the ground and pushed it in front of the door, blocking the door.
Newt held your lower arms steady so you could get up, and you stood up.
The guards were throwing themselves at the door, and Minho -with a gun- said you needed to get out of there. You were standing behind Newt, looking over his shoulder.

“Stand back!” you heard Thomas shout behind you, and then he threw a chair at the window. It didn’t break the glass, so Newt jumped in. Together they tried it again, and this time the glass shattered in a million pieces. Teresa laid a blanket on the glass for safety, and Thomas helped her get to the other side. Frypan went behind her, and then you. You felt Newt’s hand on your lower back.

“Come on,” he said, and you climbed to the other side, followed by him. Minho threw the gun to Thomas -which he caught perfectly- and Thomas opened the door. Behind the door stood a guard, and he stood right in front of Thomas. Thomas reacted immediately and pulled the trigger, making the guard slam to the ground. Lightning appeared in front of him and screeches left his mouth. Thomas watched mouth opened but moved after a few moments.
Newt slightly pushed you through the door into the hallway, behind Teresa and Frypan.
Though you still had woken up, you ran as fast as you could. The adrenaline rushed through your veins and your heart pumped fast.


After you escaped and ran into darkness, Teresa found an abandoned building, and you went inside. Newt was in front of you, and you went after him. You stumbled down the sand and lost your balance, but you felt arms on your waist before you touched the ground. You looked behind you and found the beautiful eyes from Newt. A warm feeling grew in your stomach but disappeared when you looked around you.

Minho turned on a flashlight so you guys could see what was around you.

“Where the hell are we?” he asked out loud.

“We gotta go-” Thomas responded,

“No- Thomas stop,” Teresa said, ”tell me what’s going on”

You stepped forward, leaving Newt’s embrace. “I would like to know either”

“It’s W.I.C.K.E.D. It’s always been W.I.C.K.E.D, they lied to us when we escaped” He said. All your hope inside disappeared, and tears formed in your eyes. And when Thomas started to talk about bodies, you lost it.
You finally felt safe. You finally thought everything would be over. And now, everything was a lie.

“There is something inside us that W.I.C.K.E.D wants.” you breathed heavily, and you leaned on your knees. You felt a hand on your back and recognized it as Newts. He looked at you with concerned eyes, and you nodded to let him know you were okay. But inside, you weren’t.

“We have to get away from them as far as possible” Thomas stated.

“Okay,” newt sighed, ”So what’s the plan?” But Thomas stayed silent. After a moment, you hold your breath.

“You do have a plan right?” you asked Thomas.

“We followed you out here Thomas and now you’re saying that you have no idea where we’re going or what we’re doing?” Newt said. You turned around and held your hand through your hair.

“Wait” you heard. You turned around and looked at the new kid -Aris was his name you believed.
“Jensen said something about people hiding in the mountains. Some kind of resistance or army-”

“The right arm,” Thomas said, “If they really are against W.I.C.K.E.D then-”

“Maybe they can help us,” you said. Newt looked at you, first with a face full of disbelief. But if Thomas and Aris were right, you guys found help. Maybe even a new home. And this thought gave you hope. Just a little bit, but enough to agree with the plan. And Newt sees this in your eyes. His face softened and nodded to Thomas.

“Minho give me a light,” Winston said. You walked to him and sat next to him. He pointed at footsteps in the sand, going deeper into the building.

“Someone’s been down here” 


Further in de building, you found clothes and more flashlights.

“Looks like people lived here,” You said, picking up a jacket from the ground.

“But where are they know?” Newt responded, looking at you.

“Let’s pick some of this stuff up, anything you might need. We’ll split up, see what else we can find.” Thomas said. These words made you feel uncomfortable. The place was pretty scary, why would you split up? You stood next to Newt, and you hoped you might stay in this room. You certainly didn’t want to be alone in here, and you even preferred to be with Newt.

From the beginning, you and Newt had a connection. Your eyes always searched for his in a crowd, and you felt safe when he was around. Together you were a power couple, you completed each other. And whatever they tried, W.I.C.K.E.D could not separate the two of you.

Minho and Thomas were about to leave before they turned around, looking at you. “Are you coming (Y/N)?” Minho said. You gave Newt a reassuring look before you went to join them.

Definitely, something bad happened to the big building, it was ruined. You walked past many stores, so you guessed it was supposed to be a mall.
Eventually, you ended up in a big pit, with loads of stuff.

“What are we looking for?” you asked, searching for something useful.

“Signs of life” Thomas answered. “People, survivors, anyone who can help us”

You walked further and slowly let your flashlight scan the big piles of stuff. You looked up and saw a dead body. You started and almost fell.

“Does he count?” you asked, breathing heavily.

“Guys look at this!” You heard Minho say. You walked over to him and saw a big machine. It was probably a generator, and it looked still intact.

“This looks promising,” he said. Minho pressed a few buttons before the machine started rambling. It began rambling, and it was louder than you expected.

“Minho wait!” Thomas said, but it was too late. Lights spread over the whole building went on, and it was not what you expected. If there was still someone there, they know you were there too.

Minho was wearing a big smile, but it disappeared immediately when he looked over at Thomas.

“Thomas look out!” he yelled before a creature appeared behind a fence. It screamed, and Thomas almost fell over. You scared and you moved backward.  

The creature looked like a human, but all of her veins were black and so were her eyes. She screamed at you three and she looked as if she was ready to eat you all alive. Behind you, another creature showed up. It walked towards you bit Minho grabbed a big stick and slammed the creature to the ground.

“What the hell are they?” Minho yelled.

“I don’t care, run!” you cried out. You ran as hard as you could, followed by Minho and Thomas. You ran on an escalator to the level where the others were, yelling at them.

“Run!” you yelled as hard as you could, hoping they would. Eventually, they came in sight, and you three screamed even harder. But only when the creatures came around the corner, they started running. You quickly caught up to them and you grabbed Newt’s arm.

You ran on another escalator, and when you wanted to go on another, another creature showed up. Aris ran forward with a pipe and hit him on his legs, what made the creature fall. You ran to the next floor, still running away from those monsters. You thought you were far ahead of them, but then out of nowhere a creature broke through the glass and attacked Newt. He fell to the ground, and the group stopped. You ran towards him, screaming.

“Newt!” you screamed, and you kicked the creature from him. You helped him get up and hold his face for a moment.

“Are you okay?” you asked concerned. He looked into your eyes and nodded.

“Yeah- come on run!” he said when he looked behind you. The others were running towards you, fast. He grabbed your hand, and you ran into a small hallway. You ran into multiple closed doors, and when you came to the end there was nowhere to go. Minho and Thomas kicked against big doors, while you grabbed Winston’s gun.

“I will hold them off!” you said, turning around. You held the gun in front of you and pulled the trigger multiple times. You shot many of them, but some still managed to avoid your bullets. They came closer and closer, and the door was still not open. But after a few seconds, the door opened and everyone went inside.

“(Y/N) come on!” Newt said, and he grabbed your arm. He turned you around and pulled you with him, but one creature was too close. It grabbed your leg and pulled you backward, what made you fall. Newt grabbed your upper body and pulled hard, joined by Winston. The creature was about to take a bite from your leg, but you kicked it in the face with your other foot. You flew into the air thanks to Newt and Winston and got on your legs. You ran behind Teresa and Frypan with Newt by your side, holding your hand.

You came into a parking lot, and you found cover under a concrete shelf. You put out all your flashlights and hoped that the creatures would not see you. You closed your eyes until Newt laid his arm on your shoulder. You rested your head on his chest, hoping this nightmare would end soon.


The next morning, you woke up when Thomas was scaring a bird away. Nice. Not that you slept well after last night’s events, but okay. You found your head on Newt’s chest and sat up slowly. Newt was already awake and watching you. Thomas stood up and you looked at him.

“They’re gone,” he said, and you took a breath. “We’re safe for now, but let’s keep moving”
You slowly packed some stuff and stood up. But after a moment, you fell down again.

“Woah, what’s up?” Frypan asked, and you groaned. You pulled away a part of your pants to reveal your ankle, and it didn’t look good. Your veins were black on a small part of your ankle, but it looked like it was spreading.

“What happened?” asked Newt concerned, before he bent down to look at your wound, “I thought it didn’t bite you”

“It didn’t, “ you said.

“Maybe it affected you by scratch?” Winston said. You put your eyes, why did this have to happen to you? You tried to stand up again, but your foot just couldn’t handle your weight. You fell in Newt’s arm, and he put his arm around your waist.

“Hey, relax,” he said, “Let’s see if you can walk” You put your arm around his shoulders, and tried to lean on your other ankle. You moved forward, but slowly.

“I can walk, but I’m just holding you up… ” you said. You were scared, scared that you were being chased again and then you would be dead. You were just holding up the others, you knew that.

“So what? (Y/N) I’m not leaving you here” Newt said. You smiled at him, at his adorable eyes, and you were once again surprised by his kindness.

“Newt-”

“No, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“If we make a stretcher, we can carry her” Teresa suggested.

“Guys-” you tried.

“Let’s do that” Newt said firmly. You sighed but agreed. Everyone was searching for materials to make a stretcher, and you sat there, useless. You hated being useless, you wanted to help. But you knew that you could not, because of your ankle.
You looked at the fallen city in front of you. It was a spectacular view, even when the city wasn’t really pretty. Suddenly the view became even prettier when Newt stood in front of you.

“are you okay?” he asked while sitting down.

“Next to being useless? Yeah fine” you said.

“It’s not your fault, you know that right?”

“I don’t actually. Newt I’m scared” you confessed, and you grabbed his hand. He looked at you with his beautiful eyes, and for a moment it was just you two. “What if those zombies come again, and I’m just holding you up? I can never ask you to not give me up, and I want you to leave me. I’m helpless anyway-”

“You are not helpless,” he said, while he took your face into his hands. He wiped away a tear you hadn’t noticed and looked at you. “And you are not holding us up. This is not your fault, and (Y/N), I would never leave you.”

“Newt-”

“Never,” he said, and you stared at him. How could someone be so sweet and caring? He was always there for you, and you loved him for that. Yes, you loved him. That moment, when his face was so close to yours, you realized it. His smile always light up your day. His words make your world fall apart, in a good way. He made you blush, just by looking at you.
You were staring at him, at the boy you loved. And for once second, you saw his eyes flicker to your lips. You slowly moved your face forwards, and so did he. When your face was so close to his that you felt his hot breath linger on your lips, you kissed him.

Your lips crashed into his, creating an explosion. For a moment, you felt no fear. You felt home. You felt love inside you, for the boy you were kissing.

When you slowly pulled away for air, you missed his lips already. You opened your eyes slowly and saw Newt grinning in front of you. You smiled.

“Thank you,” you said, and he pulled you into a hug.

“Never a problem, love”

Tall Girls

Originally posted by lovefandombooks

Pairing: Dean x short!Reader, Sam x friend!Reader
Word count: 2,566
Warnings: Swearing, slight angst, oral (both receiving), smut
Request: Anonymous. Hi again, I had sent a request for a dean x reader one shot but was informed that Mel hadn’t returned yet. I see that she has and Im glad she’s doing better. 😊. If shes taking requests my request was for a story where the reader is short ( like 5'1") and she has a crush on Dean. She overhears him at a bar one night flirting with the waitress and he says that “he likes tall girls”. Of course the reader is heartbroken. With some fluff and a little smut please. Thank you and so glad you are back.


Pulling your hair up, you laughed. “I’m serious.” Sam smiled. “He screamed this high pitched scream, looking completely terrified. It was a damn cat.” You were cracking up at the expense of your long time crush- Dean. “You know what he says right after?” You shook your head, trying to breath. “He looks at me, this weird smile, and goes ‘that was scary!’” He did his best to mimic Dean’s voice. That made you laugh even harder. He was telling you funny stories, trying to distract you from his brother. Sam knew about your crush, and didn’t want you getting hurt when you saw him off being well…Dean.

“Wow.” You breathed when you could finally talk again. “I wish I had been there.” Hearing Dean’s voice, you furrowed your brows. Glancing around, you spotted him not far off with a waitress.

He was leaning on the table she was clearing, that smirk on his face. “Oh, I like tall girls, sweetheart.” His green eyes looking up and down her long, sleek body. He licked his lips unconsciously, something that you knew he really did when he saw someone he wanted to sleep with.

Turning away, you downed your beer. “Another?” You asked Sam.

“I’ll get them.” He gave you a sad smile, slipping off his stool and heading towards the bar.

Leaning on the heel of your left palm, you played with a napkin, simply staring at it. There was no joy in your face, and you were trying not to tear up. Afterall, it was just a silly crush, and now you knew that he’d never be attracted to you, right? You were far from tall. Hell, you barely were past five feet tall! Letting out a breath of air, your chest ached as if being crushed.

You heard feet, and the slight scraping of the stool near you, but didn’t look up. “Hot damn.” You heard Dean’s voice, and knew he had a cocky grin on his face. “That is a fine lady, and I got her number.” He gloated.

Without a word, you got up and walked out, wiping your cheek. Pulling out your phone once you were outside, you texted Sam.

Going to my room. See you in the morning. I’m sorry, I couldn’t listen to him brag about scoring her number…

Hitting send, you shoved your phone in your back pocket.

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