Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.
Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.
So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.
So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).
Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”
Anon, you’ve slayed me. That’s so cute and pure and my heart is just tearing itself apart. I just love these sorts of prompt. THEY’RE PURE AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY, SO I’M HAPPY FOR THEM. I hope you enjoy, and thanks for the request. I have chosen to subject Jesse McCree to this because this guy needs some McLovin’. (I’m just in a Jesse McCree mood for some reason.)
A romantic relationship in this line of work was a dangerous thing, and if you both valued your lives, you would never enter one. Attachment is dangerous, you reminded yourself daily. But your traitorous heart ached anyway, unheeding of your rationality and logic.
Dealing with this whole thing would be tremendously easier if you and Jesse McCree weren’t on a long-term mission mission as a duo. It took every scrap of self-control (and more) to prevent yourself from embarrassing yourself with some over-the-top reaction when this mission was announced. Though, Torbjorn did receive a nasty glare when he shouted, “About damn time. I’ve got projects to fund, you know.”
It’s been weeks since you both came to this city, setting up camp in a residential neighborhood where there were suspected to be a weapons trading ring. It was hard to believe at first considering just how peaceful everything seemed when you and Jesse moved in, pretending to be recently married. When you questioned the decision for this scenario (not that you were entirely against it), Soldier: 76 explained it was to blend in and get among the trading ring’s ranks. It was a very family-orientated neighborhood, after all. Jesse, always the one to roll with the punches, took your hand and tapped you where a ring would theoretically sit.
“So, d’you wanna take my last name or should I take yours?”
That lit a fire so bright inside you that you felt like you were going to become a victim of spontaneous human combustion.
It wouldn’t be the last time you’d feel such a way.