feel-this-moment

An Introduction to Eric Harris

It’s quite strange to write anything remotely resembling an introduction to something associated with Columbine after all these years of research. It often feels like the case is a “seen it all”-type of deal, to which I’m sure quite a few of you can relate. Yet, there is still an occasional drive to talk about aspects of the case at length. There’s a need to speak about some things that doesn’t go away, not even after all this time, and I guess this “introduction” is one way of dealing with that urge to just keep speaking about it.

If you’d told me four years ago that I’d be writing this about Eric and not Dylan, I would’ve laughed hysterically and called you a liar. If you’d told me back then that I would come to understand Eric in a way that I now can no longer understand Dylan, I would’ve frowned and questioned a lot of things about the future. But it’s the truth of what happened in this time, I suppose, and it’s the one thing that gives me a drive to write Columbine-related things at this point. This piece is something that will take you through my own journey of learning to comprehend Eric. It’s a process that I feel has been both intuitive and intelligent. More than anything, it’s a process that has taken me far away from the commonly accepted view of him as presented by the media.

Writing an introduction to Eric Harris isn’t so much about the basics. We all know that he was eighteen years old when he killed and died at Columbine. We know that he was born in April, but wasn’t native to Littleton at the time. We know that he moved from Kansas to Ohio, from Ohio to Michigan, and from Michigan to New York prior to ever setting foot in Colorado. We know that he came from a military family that seems to have been quite traditional in its set-up. We know he had an older brother. We know he loved to play computer games, liked all things military, and that he had an interest in German and history.

We also know that he was diagnosed with psychopathy after his death by people who should’ve known better. I am not saying that they should’ve known better because I’m one of those so-called “Eric apologists” who believes he vomited sparkly rainbows. It’d perhaps be easier to discard my opinion if I was. Rather, I believe they should have known better because this is one of the fields I studied extensively and have gained quite a lot of insight into. None of my studies point at post-mortem diagnoses being commonly accepted, nor do any of my own insights correspond with the ways in which the diagnosis was acquired and set.

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jmeelee  asked:

Hi Jess question for you- since we know Flint told Silver about Thomas in s3e10 do we know or can we assume that he also told Silver his true name is James McGraw? I keep going back and forth on if i think he told him his real name (i think i believe he DID but am also heartbroken if we didn't get to see that moment) and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

hi jamie!!! :’’) this is a fantastic question, and one we can’t really know the answer to for sure yet but will hopefully find out. (lol @ how that has become like, my black sails tagline. Black Sails: We Can’t Really Know for Sure :^) fjsdklafjsdlf). but god, I’m just rolling around on the floor Suffering™ because of the fact that they brought us into that scene between flint and silver in the finale MID-CONVERSATION!!! I need to know how flint began his confession. I need every single word and we just don’t have it!!! HMMPH >:(

anyway, more under the cut!

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Sometimes I think about how Hunk misses his family so much that instead of panicking in his usual, rambling self, he does it with silence. There must be nights too when he’s just sitting alone in his room and he can’t even cry. He can’t even think without feeling this physical ache. Is he considered dead back home? Do they even know he’s gone? He’s got so many unanswered (and maybe even unanswerable) questions that he can’t even voice them or show them without feeling ill. He’s just got to listen to them ring on in his head every night before he falls asleep.

Hunk is one of the biggest worriers in the group and yet when it comes to being with family, he is so quiet about it. Like, he must either be so close to the rest of the Voltron squad that he considers them family too, or he’s just so consumed with panic that it’s just silent. Maybe he’s both? I’m all for happy Hunk but he cares so much about the people he’s close to. So…what’s his family situation? Is he not that close with them? Does he believe that worrying about it will only make it worse? I’m just…I want more background on Hunk darn it.

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