I’m too often expected to keep quiet about things that are just too much, too loud. I can’t keep everything inside all of the time, and ink isn’t always as helpful as I trust it to be. Sometimes I need to scream.
Remember Run Ep. 12…When Jungkook threw Jimin over his shoulder and smacked him on the ass. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse better the Behind the Scenes came out…And Jimin was lying on the floor saying “detective I’m bored, please come play with me” in a cute teasing voice. And then you realize that that scene came before the ass smacking one. I’m just saying, he kinda asked for it. And Jungkook was all too happy to deliver.
He says that he likes me because I have a pretty mouth, and sometimes he makes me feel like I have a pretty mouth
because he kisses me like he’s never known anything better.
and I think I’m supposed to be happy,
but my tummy still hangs heavy on my body and my thighs still look huge next to his.
And I wonder if he finds my flabby upper arms pretty,
or my bulging cheeks and my wide forehead pretty.
I know he doesn’t think of me as pretty.
He only ever looks at my eyes when we’re laid together. He only ever touches me where I am hardest.
Where I am most comfortable.
And it still surprises me when he asks me if he’s pretty. I mean, sure, he’s beautiful.
There’s no question about that. It’s clear to see.
But I’ve never paid attention to his looks as a whole. Only ever his collarbones,
only ever his fingers, where he is prettiest.
Never his face, never his whole body.
I don’t think I will ever be comfortable with my whole body. But I have learned how to love my lips the way he loves them,
and I’ve learned how to love my fingers and my nonexistent collarbones the way I love his.
And I remember the times I slipped stars
under my skin, hoping that I glow as bright as they do,
and the day I realized that no light will be
brighter than the one I shine on myself.