feel the ocean

anonymous asked:

When my nose tingles in that uncomfortable way that alarms me before I begin waves. When I blink all I feel is an ocean that leaks into a stream. Trying to make it stop by rubbing it away but I get a handful of acid that feels worse then a stab to the back. Trying to get my acid tears to stray but they'll never leave me, they're apart of me. Call me a crybaby because it's true, except I cry acid that will burn through you.

“What is it like on Sounion?” On a sunny yet chilly afternoon of an early, hesitating Spring that seemed to wish to reverse to Winter, Alvar had blasted the question on Tobio. 

It was the first time they were to talk earnestly. For months, Tobio had been trying to judge whether The Little Lord’s interest in everything Greek was not just another code that men like them would develop to fractionally declare their sexuality – in terms that only equals would comprehend.

But Alvar’s curiosity – in a most strenuous journey through Greece Tobio had taken with his family as a teenager – seemed genuine. While the young nobleman could tell mythological tales in details, and Tobio reputed the Greek gods to be no more than a confusing hierarchy of gossip and cruelty, Alvar had never set foot on the ‘crucible of civilization’, as he called the country himself, and thus wanted to hear Tobio’s travel experiences in Hellenic lands. 

Could you feel the spray of the ocean while standing on the Temple of Poseidon? Did you watch the sunsetWhere there clouds floating by? Was it warm, and did the cicadas sang as it got warmer? Did you feel the earth tremble as the waves crashed down below? – at Alvar’s heartfelt questions, Tobio tried his best responding to impress his new friend. 

Though, in fact, he had only felt boredom while looking at the dilapidated columns, an unmatched excitement flooded Tobio while looking at the young nobleman who so sincerely seemed to love those fallen bricks.  


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Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.