feed me teeth

b4 i go to bed quick things on a monster/supernatural au for rwby

  • demigods pyrrha and nora. everyone is signing petitions to make them full gods bc what the fuck are they blind.
  • telepathic ren who can link up everyone’s minds. most of that leads to two or more people bursting into laughter for no reason bc yang saw a mom do a little dance in the grocery store for her kid and immediately thought “helen loves to boogie woogie”
  • weiss is a sorcerer, but less powerful than her mother and nicholas bc sadly her dad exists and has no powers, but she more than makes up with it with her intellect and alchemy skills. too bad all the others want to play Potion Roulette so they can shrink jaune and pyrrha for being Tall Bastards and turn ren’s hair full on bubblegum pink
  • space heater yang. cold?? yang’ll either warm you up or set herself on fire to scare the shit out of you. except one time a kid saw it and started crying and she didn’t stop apologizing for approx. 7 years
  • werewolf jaune who transforms when he’s scared rather than when he’s angry. he doesnt trust himself and puts on oven mitts during haunted houses and horror films bc he doesn’t go crazy or anything it’s just his hands get a little claw-y and he’s very animated.
  • sun’s also a demigod with the power to see through anything. solves disputes by being an actual human lie detector. but mostly he just sneaks around and gets ppl stuff when he knows they’re sad. there’s a 50/50 chance it was stolen but… it’s sun he’s tryna be nice
  • vampire blake who sleeps a lot. anywhere. immortality is not stopping blake from taking naps r u for fuckign real. also drinks blood alternatives when she can and the vegan jokes have all been used to the point of unfuniness
  • also one time she threatened to eat someone and the way she deadpanned it scared the shit out of everyone
  • inaccuracies in movies. sometimes they’ll spend an entire night watching werewolf movies and vampire movies and basically any sort of thing like that and just roast it to hell.
Ciel's Diary

Sebatian: Young master, please calm down!

Ciel: Calm down? CALM DOWN?! They almost burned the manor and you tell me to god damn CALM DOWN?!

Sebastian: My lord, all is well. And if it did burn down it wouldn’t be something I couldn’t fix in mere minutes.

Ciel: But you can’t do that because nobody knows you’re a damn DEMON!

Sebastian: You know what, my lord? I believe that you’re stressed.

Ciel: Stressed? Me? Nooooooooo! Pfft, psh, pfft. Streeeessed? OF COURSE I’M STRESSED!

Sebastian: And what you need the most right now is a stress reliever.

Ciel: A stress reliever? Do enlighten, oh wise one.

Sebastian: How about writing a diary? You can write what happened during the day and how you felt about it. That would really help.

Ciel: You got to be kidding me!

Sebastian: -stares at Ciel-

Ciel: -sighs- FINE! -gets out papers and starts writing- Dear diary, my day was a complete disaster. It started out by waking up way earlier than usual because -stresses on pen- Sebastian thought it would be a DELIGHTFUL idea to have a meeting real early. Then, during lunch Sebastian thought it would be MORE than a WONDERFUL idea to -grits teeth- Feed me vegetables. Oh but wait, there’s more! When I asked for some tea and cake instead, he said -glares at Sebastian- That I would not get any cake until I finish my damn plate. Ohohohoho, but it didn’t end there my dearest diary, my 3 IDIOTS of servants almost burned down my mansion because they thought it would be a LOVELY idea to try new ways of cooking without someone watching over them. -grits teeth while tearing the paper with his pen- AND THEN THE BUTLER, SUGGESTED THAT IT WOULD BE EASY TO REBUILD THE DAMN MANOR WITH HIS POWERS WHEN HE, oh so accidentally, FORGOT that no one here knows he’s a DAMN DEMON! The end -smiles-

Sebastian:

Ciel: -smiles at Sebastian-

Sebastian: Well… If I’m not mistaken, it appears I’m the source of your stress, my lord… And for silly reasons obviously…

Ciel: -crumbles the papers and throws them away- You know what Sebastian? -smiling- I think, writing this diary thing was a GREAT idea, I absolutely LOVED writing it. You know where I’d love to write more? I WOULD LOVE TO CARVE YOUR SKIN WITH THE PEN TILL YOU BECOME UNRECOGNIZABLE!

Sebastian: …. -laughs nervously- I-If you’ll excuse me… I’ll have to fix the kitchen -runs-

Ciel: SEBASTIAN MICHEALIS -slams hands on desk- GET BACK HERE!