So my fiance and I, who have been together since February 12th of 2012, ended up having an unplanned pregnancy in January of 2013. We had a mishap and I tried to take the pln B pill for it. I went to the pharmacy and bought it with the very last of my money.
New Jersey and New York had just been ravaged by Hurricane Sandy and I thankfully had come out wih my home and family and loved ones in tact but my job on the boardwalk had been shut down for over a month. So I had no source of income. My last forty-five dollars went into this last ditch effort. I took the morning after pill, but because I was pregnant already, i didn’t help me at all.
It turns out I had been pregnant since about New Years from a separate incident. Plan B will not end an already existent pregnancy. Believe me, readers.
I missed my period and immediately, I panicked. My friends assured me it was probably just stress and not to worry about it for a while. Another week went by, no period. I ended up borrowing some money from my little brother, telling him it was for gas, and bought three pregnancy tests. I needed it to be a secret so I took the tests in the restroom of a local McDonalds and cried alone.
My fiance was, at the time, a senior in high school. He’s one year younger than I am so he was nineteen at the time. I called him from the parking lot as soon as his school let out and begged him to see me right away and needless to say he knew what was wrong.
We settled on abortion without any second thoughts. My family had promised me multiple times that if I ever got pregnant, I was on the street. I also knew I couldn’t live with Angel’s family because the last time my abusive family had kicked me out, they didn’t let me sleep in his house. They had me go to his sister house in another ton and sleep in her attic.
We made an appointment that day to visit Planned Parenthood in Trenton on February 28th. I had zero dollars, my job was about to re-open, but I was getting only about seven-ten hours a week until everything on the boardwalk was repaired. It was minimum age job to start with, but I loved it and it made me happy.
Being pregnant was by fr the wort experience of my life. Keep in mind I have been through horrors. I watched my grandma waste away from cancer after she had raised me in my abusive mother’s stead. I faced abuse about my autism, my depression, and anything else possible from my bipolar drug-addicted mother on a daily basis. And being pregnant was still th worse experience of my life.
I had two weeks to come up with $495 while starting at zero, and still have money to pay for all the gas to go to and from work, and to Trenton and back. I took on art commissions. So many of them. I took donation from kind people on tumblr. I ended up raising the funds of about $430 and thought I could maybe borrow the rest from someone else.
That day in th mail, a package arrived for me from my grandfather in PA for Valentine’s Day. A bunch of candy (road snacks for the Planned Parenthood trip, as far as I was concerned!) and a card inside of with was one hundred dollars!Keep in mind. No one in my family knew I was pregnant, getting an abortion, or any of that. o this day the only one aware is my youngest brother.
I told my mom I was headed to work a little early and I set out. Angel skipped school for the first and only time in his life and met me at the train station in the next town over, He had walked there to meet me. We had an appointment at 9:45 in Trenton which was a 42 minute drive away down the highway and we had no idea how to get there except for some directions he had gotten from Google. He read them to me as I drove because he had no license.
W ate leftover sandwiches and the candy I had gotten from my grandpa and chatted and listened to music and talked about how relieved we were to be getting this out of the way and to have reached our goal. Everything would be okay.
We made it into Trenton at about 9:40 and asked directions a few times. We parked our car two blocks from the clinic and ran to make our appointment I has out of breath and nearly crying from being angry at myself for not being able to keep up. But Angel just slowed down, said it’d be okay if we were a little late, and held my hand as we walked the rest of the way.
We made it, signed in for our appointment, and got the necessary tests done. I paid for my procedure with a plastic bag full of cash an coins and we sat in the waiting room for about an hour and a half. The nurse let me ea one apple since I was so hungry. I felt like I was starving. I’d felt like that, paired with nausea, the whole eight-week pregnancy. I passed the time reading a magazine article about Elton John and his contributions to AIDS research through his foundation and that made me happy.
There were all kinds of faces in the room that day, I only spoke to two of them. One person, whom I sadly didn’t have a word with, was a person whose partner begged her to get the abortion even tough she didn’t want to I wanted to say something but at the time I was a coward, I still regret it to this day. Another woman there was with her husband. She was already a mother of five and could barely afford mortgage and to feed the kids they had already. This was her only option.
Angel and I were brought in for counseling and they deemed us mentally prepared and said that our chemistry took away any fears they had of him coercing me into this.
As we waited for my appointment, we called Angel’s youngest older sister. She had had an abortion before and the rest of his family never let her live it down.. She would be our emergency contact, She tried her best to talk me out of it because she thought it would mess me up, emotionally, to go through with it. I assured her it was my body and I kn what was best and had no real better option. So she covered for us when his mother asked why he skipped school. His sister said he had been at her house all day because he didn’t want to take a test he hadn’t studied for that was being held that day.
I finally kissed Angel good bye and went in for the procedure after having to get an ultrasound taken. (Angel looked at it, I didn’t.) The room was pleasant. The abortion was a little painful but I normally have cramps ht re much worse than that during my period. It was over before I knew it and they escorted me out ino the recovery room where I would sit until I felt well enough to go. There was a mandatory rest period after the abortion so I had to lay for at least fifteen minutes and just eat snacks and relax. They gave me RItz crackers and Pepsi, and I read a magazine and talked to the mother-of-five from before, and another new person. They were there without their boyfriend knowing because he didn’t support the idea of abortion.
I met Angel at the entrance and he put my coat on me and kissed my cheek and asked if I felt okay. I said I did, so he looked happier, too. We got some very cheap, very good condoms from Planned Parenthood, and made the long journey home. We stopped at KFC for dinner and laughed and talked about what we’d done to pass the time during the emergency the fall before and I told him how thing were at my job after Sandy.
We spent the rest of the day together, but I slept through a lot of the evening.
I have no regrets, no second thoughts, and to this day Angel supports my choice. He has told me before, “I never want children. Bu if you get pregnant, it’ your body and I love you. SO I will stay with you through any choice you make.” And I know it’s true. And I feel so gifted to have someone so supportive in my life.
So that’s my abortion story! I hope it was an interesting read and gives people some idea that an abortion, first of all, is no something people just do on a whim. Obtaining access to an abortion is so hard. I had to work my butt of to afford it and reach he place I had to go. It’s not an easy task. And everyone responds, emotionally, to abortion in different ways and all of those ways are A-OK; As long as you don use those emotions to manipulate other away from their own choices and try to get them to do what you want them to do.
is there a certain timeline that you keep for every era? when do they start and end if you don't mind me asking?
yeah! there is. for older eras: i usually just go by official release dates, not by teaser release dates because the exact dates there are a bit more difficult to come by. for the eras that’ve been went through since i made this blog: i usually switch over to the new one from the one before on the day that a teaser first drops for korean comebacks, and on the day that a teaser video or short version of pv drops for japanese comebacks.
replay: may 25th, 2008 - august 24th, 2008 love like oxygen: august 25th, 2008 - october 28th, 2008 a.mi.go: october 29th, 2008 - may 24th, 2009 juliette: may 25th, 2009 - october 13th, 2009 ring ding dong: october 14th, 2009 - july 11th, 2010 lucifer: july 12th, 2010 - september 31st, 2010 hello: october 1st, 2010 - november 28th, 2010 miss you / hot times: november 29th, 2010 - june 21st, 2011 j!replay: june 22nd, 2011 - august 28th, 2011 j!juliette: august 29th, 2011 - october 11th, 2011 j!lucifer: october 12th, 2011 - december 6th, 2011 the first: october 7th, 2011 - march 20th, 2012 sherlock: march 21st, 2012 - october 9th, 2012 dazzling girl: october 10th, 2012 - december 11th, 2012 1000 years: december 12th, 2012 - february 18th, 2013 dream girl: february 19th. 2013 - april 25th, 2013 why so serious: april 26th, 2013 - june 25th, 2013 boys meet u: june 26th, 2013 - october 13th, 2013 everybody: october 14th, 2013 - december 3rd, 2013 321: december 4th, 2013 - february 12th, 2014 breath: february 13th, 2014 - june 24th, 2014 lucky star: june 25th, 2014 - september 3rd, 2014
so, those are the eras that all started and finished before i opened the blog. i opened a little less than two weeks before the end of october so everything was already out of the last era mentioned at that point. as for everything… since… i’ve opened, lmao:
downtown baby: september 4th, 2014 - january 1st, 2015 base: january 2nd, 2015 - february 25th, 2015 your number: february 26th, 2015 - may 10th, 2015 odd: may 11th, 2015 - july 27th, 2015 married to the music: july 28th, 2015 - september 12th, 2013 story. op. 1: september 13th, 2015 - present
like said above: i didn’t open this blog until october of last year so the first era had already started at that point but… whatever. that’s irrelevant. the current era is going to last until whenever avex / emi decides to release teaser videos for their new japanese single. it isn’t set to be released until the end of october but we could be seeing a video as early as the start of the month so… who knows. the only era that i don’t use is the one that was squished between the first two misconceptions eras: “fire” and that’s because it’s legitimately such a short era / blip on the radar that it isn’t really worth it. also: all of the events that took place in japan at that point were when jonghyun was recovering from his car accident so he was totally absent for everything. so…, yeah. i just combine that with the era before.
(anyway: thanks for asking this. i’m gonna tag it as a resource so i can go back and use it for my own reference.)
STORY SUMMARY: Everyone knows the making of a happyending. It starts with ‘hello’ and it ends with ‘I do’. Or does it?
What happens in between? What happens after? When Tom and Wednesday
said ‘I do’, they believed it was their happy ending. But 3 years down
the road, everything has fallen apart. That’s when they learn that ‘I do’
encompasses a lot of things, that marriage is hard work and just because two
people love each other, it doesn’t necessarily mean they can make it till the
end. Now both of them have to ask themselves if it is worth it to hold on
or is it time to let go?
STORY RATING: M
STORY WARNINGS/TRIGGERS/AUTHORS NOTES: Goodness, it’s
been awhile, sorry, been a busy week. A wee bit of sexual content but other than that, no warnings. Just angst and some feelings come tumbling
FEEDBACK: I’m anxious because I had some trouble
writing the later part, so feedback would be really great and appreciated. Thank you so much for all the love and