febreezed it

Public School Is A Goddamn Disater, Part 2: The Lovecraftian Madness of Machismo

Part 1 here, AKA: the Mantisocalypse (you don;t have to read it to understand this one, but you should anyway)

Content Warnings: Mental Illness, Attempted Murder, Sexual Content, Stalking, Abuse, Animal Abuse Mention, Emetophobia, US Public Education, Military Industrial Complex.  I’ve been told this is my most disturbing story, even if it’s hilarious, so mind your health.  All the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and Not-So-Innocent.

This is the story of Recruiting Sergeant Scott VS. The Lacrosse Jocks VS. Yours truly.

To understand this story, you must understand the dystopian hellscape that is US Public High School- I went to the NICE high school in town, with the AP curriculum and new building, where the the kids were generally too obsessed with getting into the ivy league to do anything worse than occasionally smoke on the roof.  Not even weed, just regular cigs.  During their off-periods, so they’d have time to febreeze their clothes and arrive to their next class early.  You know, the most boring fucking kids ever.

AND STILL, we were subjected to the various scourges of US public ed, namely-

-on-campus police officers and regular “what to do in case of a columbine event” drill.  We had Officer Munoz, who was a wonderful Latina Woman with the good sense to focus her efforts on getting kids away from abusive parents rather than persecuting brown kids, but we were VERY lucky on that front.  Still, having someone walking around with a gun and technically the authority to kill you, and having to hide in the science cabinets three times a year fucks you up.  Remember Officer Munoz though, She is Important.

- A weird, cult-like, frankly masturbatory attitude regarding athletic achievement.  The arts and sciences were stuck doing bake sales for supplies while the gym got re-done two years after the school opened.  This was tempered in an odd way at my school in that literally all the sports teams unequivocally sucked, with the exception of 

1.Marching Band, which went to nationals twice in the first two years the school was open 

2.Knowledge Bowl, where kevin and I took the team to 3rd in state in our first year, and only lost because Kevin had an asthma attack so we decided to let the other teams fight over the ‘lesser’ medals 

3.Lacrosse, which didn’t actually didn’t GO anywhere, but was a “real” sport and beat our ‘rival’ school, so the team got to be Big Men On Campus, and get away with all kinds of nonsense like eating in class when everyone else was forbidden or skipping tests for ‘practice’.  The three worst offenders were Dustin, Jack and “Rattlesnake Pete”, all of whom were budding neo-nazis and thus signed up for German.  With our Jewish teacher.  Remember them too.

-On-campus military recruiters.  As in, people who are legally allowed to exaggerate, manipulate and actually lie to minors to convince them to join the armed forces.  Ours was Sergeant Scott, and as much of a skeevy rat as he was I honestly felt bad for him, because remember, academic magnet high school so he had three kinds of kids to work with:

  • Kids who made the physical standards for the armed forces and were all about honoring their country via physical labor, but were dumb as shit and couldn’t pass the written exam.
  • Kids who could pass the written exam and were totally ready to bully some people in the third world, but couldn’t do a pull up if you covered the gym floor in cobras.
  • Kids who passed the physical and mental portions but were uniformly rabidly anti-military industrial complex, to the point where 35 of them crammed into his cubicle in the office he shared with Officer Munoz and Janitor Wendy, so they could hold a sit-in protest of the Iraq war and chant “Impeach Bush” and “War is Murder” at him  Someone chucked red paint on him, because they’re furious immature teenagers.  It was his first day.

Poor bastard.  Remember Him as well.

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8

(*My screenshots* please like and reblog🤗) Boi!!!!!! Christian needs to stop with his livestreams!😍😍 looking 🔥🔥🔥 as always. Cant wait for those DPR tshirts to be official fan merch!!! Btw i dont think i’ve ever been so jealous of lori before😂😂😂

For those who couldn’t/ didn’t watch the stream:
1) he was doing some funny ass febreeze dance😂😂
2) he was working on live’s next mv
3) he said he saw the “older jungkook” meme😂 but he doesn’t want to offend bts fans because he doesn’t think he looks like kookie. Also he said he worked with rapmonster before and that bts are “cool guys”.
4) he spoke about meeting dean in a club’s toilets😂😂😂

5

Some of my favorite parts of the Lightning Thief Musical:

-THE SONGS ARE SO PERFECT. HOLY CRAP. It’s this angsty rock musical and it fits everything perfectly.

-Sally sprays Febreeze wherever Smelly Gabe goes.

-“Are you ever wearing pants again?” “NOPE!”

-Mr. D kept slamming his folding chair into a wall and it’s hilarious.

-Chiron was just a dude in a jacket with a tail sticking out of his pants. But he galloped everywhere.

-“Liiiiiiiiiife just couldn’t be worse when your parents run the universe.”

-*Percy recognizes Annabeth from when he was semi-conscious* “You’re my dream girl!”

-“Who’s your dad?” “A history professor.” “Oh, your mom is-” “Athena. Sexist much?” “No, I love girls!” *Grover and Luke crack up in the background*

-Annabeth’s whole song. It fit her characterization perfectly.

-The way they revealed the story of Thalia’s tree was gorgeous and super emotional.

-The Lotus Hotel scene, aka the best easter egg ever. “Excuse me, how long have you been here?” “Oh, me and my brother just got here yesterday. May first, 1939!”

-Charon was a woman and had an amazing song.

-“What did he want with my shoes?” “They were really nice shoes.”

-Toilet paper + leaf blowers + blue lighting = super cool water.

-“It’s a do-it-yourself statue kit.” “Oh!” *Sally starts to open box* “WAIT NO! It’s Medusa’s head.”

-When Luke was revealing that he was siding with the Titans, he reprised Percy’s song “Good Kid” from act one and it was super intense.

-“You met my dad?! …Did he mention me?” Clarisse, my daughter.

That is all I can think of but it was so amazing and I am Emotional.

@probablypartypoison

a list of my favorite moments from the percy jackson musical

i went to see the percy jackson musical on the 31st and !!! it was so cool ohmygods !!!

+ so in the first song the entire cast (all like, nine of them) were on stage and being all ‘so u think ur a half blood’ and then fuckin percy comes rolling out and there’s smoke and he goes ‘look, i didn’t want to be a half blood’ and !!! i almost screamed it was so cool

+ sally spraying febreeze after smelly gabe wherever he went

+ percy singing about annabeth and how pretty she is and when he saw her he was like ‘you’re my dream girl!’

+ annabeth calling percy sexist after he asked her who her father was 

+ ‘i’m not sexist, i love girls!’ and grover shaking his head with wide eyes

+ the entire ‘put you in your place’ song it was so good !!! clarisse’s high notes were on point

+ everyone bashing on their parents at the campfire song and percy singing abt his mom it was so sweet

+ when percy acted like he was gonna jump off the metal thing when he sang ‘all you get are bad grades and a bum rap and a bad rep and a good smack’ i actually cried

+ percy, annabeth, and grover being all hyped up to go on the quest during ‘killer quest’

+ ‘my grand plan’ it was so good !! and the lil knife movements she does are v cool and i’ve had this song stuck in my head since i heard it

+ FUCKIN ARES OHMYOGD

+ he was so COOL like ,,, leather jacket and sunglasses and his voice is just !!! amazing !!!

+ percy dreaming abt tartarus that was amazing like it actually sent chills down my spine when kronos’s voice came over the loudspeakers

+ grover singing about thalia and crying and it was jsut so emotional !!

+ annabeth disarming luke when he asked her to join him

+ annabeth almost kissing percy

+ the dam jokes ohmy

+ GROVER TALKING TO THE SQUIRREL AND PERCY GOING “that’s nuts!” 

+ i laughed so hard and grover and annabeth just stared at percy before grover was like “you offended him”

+ percy having to apologize to the squirrel

+ “Tartarus? Like….. THE FISH SAUCE?!?!?!?!?!?!?”  

+ Mr. D ohmyog

+ “we’re not turning him into a dolphin!”

+ he was so grumpy it was amazing

+ percy sending the gods medusa’s head

+ “they’ll think we’re impertinent!” “…we are impertinent” 

+ sally and poseidon seeing each other again and percy being all disgusted

+ the entire musical and cast it was so beautiful. seriously, if you have the money to go see it, you need to. it followed the book p well and the songs are incredible and the acting is just amazing and it was just great

yeah ok bitty dresses nice but like he’s also a college athlete. he wears socks with sliders. he wears his smh sweatpants with his smh sweatshirt and an smh tshirt underneath. he’s been wearing these georgia bulldogs sweatpants for four days straight. he febreezed his sheets to avoid washing them for another few days. save him

The Outsiders as real quotes from people I go to school with...
  • Ponyboy: "when I stepped out, into the cold wind, from the odd warmth of the school... I had only two things in my mind. A jacket and a ride home."
  • Johnny: "please... don't... talk to me... ever..."
  • Dallas: "I'm not a tease, I'm a natural, sexual, flirt."
  • Two-bit: "after four years of this hell hole I finally know enough al-gee-braah to hit the poles."
  • Steve: "if you think I won't eat all five of these candy bars before lunch you're wrong."
  • Sodapop: "Fuck this," *slams school computer shut* "I'm pretty."
  • Darry: "I've been teaching for more than ten years and I'm pretty sure this is the weirdest request I've gotten."
  • Tim: "it's supposed to smell like smoke, not Cotten candy."
  • Angela: "if anyone ask, those aren't my nudes."
  • Curly: "no one gives a shit, the janitor caught me smoking weed in the bathroom, she just sprayed some Febreeze and walked out."
  • Cherry: "Yes, I'm a real ginger. Yes, I do steal souls." *points at freckle* "this one is yours."
  • Marcia: "I'm not a lesbian I just really like your boobs."
  • Bob: "That's my pube, give it back!"
  • Randy: "he might smell bad but he's pretty cool."

anonymous asked:

idk how people can think louis and harry broke up when they're hamfisting larry denials harder than they did in 2012 when they were literally all over each other lmao. you're not gonna spray air freshener in a room that smells good, you're gonna do it in a room that fucking stinks. and i've been breathing a febreeze, glade, and lysol cocktail for the past week. why bother denying a rumor that, according to google trends, was at its lowest point of interest in 7 years until now?

Why indeed, anon 

The Transfer

The Transfer (m)

Word count: 9.4k

Genre/Warnings: language, angst, smut, dirty talk

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Summary: You’re a sophomore in college who always runs away from relationships. That is until you meets Jung Hoseok, the South Korean transfer who shows you what a relationship can be. Although you know it’s wrong since he’s your best friends Jimin’s new roommate.

(Again this is my old story from my Wattpad (5sos version on there) but I wanted a Hoseok story and to finish this one.) Plus I was listening to Selena Gomez’s song, Bad Liar and yeah.

Parts: two


“Kook?” you yelled threw the apartment. You waited until he answered, “Yes Puddin’?” He yelled back.

“Do you need me to wash any clothes for you? I have a little more room in the washer!”

“Yes, one second!” You heard him shuffle in his room grabbing his hamper. He walked through the den and kitchen to the laundry room. “Thank you, Puddin’.”

“You know Jimin called me Puddin’ the other day,” you said taking his clothes out and sticking them into the washing machine.

“That’s my nickname for you!” He pouted, leaning against the door frame.

It was true, ever since sixth grade. You never wanted anyone to call you by your name for some reason. You thought it might have been some teen rebellion thing. So when you came to school one day with a Harley Quinn shirt on Jungkook took that as the chance to call you puddin’ and it just stuck. You two had been best friends since and now you were in college together. It was your sophomore year at the University and you loved it. Your parents had also found the two of you an apartment close to the school, so you could “stick together,” as your parents called it. They always thought you two would end up together but you two were too close for that. You loved Jungkook but you could never be in love with him.

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Nct as things I've witness in my honors English class

Taeil: teacher giving students a 20 page packet to read and summerize + another story for a test. All due the next class they have together

Hansol: sits in the back and shoots hair ties at people until someone slaps him

Johnny: answers the phone when the teacher is out in an fake Asian accent but no one rats him out

Taeyong: brings febreeze because the person sitting in front of them smells

Yuta: asks a lot of questions that will get the teacher triggered so they can waste class time. Ex.“Harry Potter sucks. Why do you even like it” the teacher then proceeds to spend half of class explaining why and how hurt he is

Kun: sits in front and no one knows who tf they are but the one time the teacher does call on them everyone is shook because their voice is so nice

Doyoung: salty 25/8 and refuses to do any work but somehow has an A in that class

Ten: holds hand with the person in front of them for the whole class and everyone is just used to it. Was once asked why and answered with ‘they have really soft hands’. That was when everyone realized that they had a big thing for hands ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jaehyun: gets really hungry and the teacher won’t let them bring in food for because it’s 'unfair’ so brings in a giant bag of eggrolls to share but eats the majority of it

Winwin: teacher’s favorite student that always gets to keep their phone even though they were on it during class. the teacher proceeds to take everyone’s phone that he sees out of their pockets

Mark: said 'I Want To Die’ too loud in class and got pulled out to have a talk with the teacher about how it is not funny to joke around like that but is laughing the whole time. Convo went like this: “are you getting mentally or physically abused” “no” “don’t lie to me” “okay” “now it’s okay to be getting abused” “but I’m not getting abused” “it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” “???”

Haechan: got someone else to do their homework but the other person trolled them and messed up their homework by writing comments like 'this is stupid’, 'this class is fucking boring’ and 'no one is gonna read this because this is sucky like this class

Renjun : legitimate angel that will lend you notes when you nap if you give them a piece of coffee candy

Chenle: if they don’t get to sit next to their best friend will get all moppy and depressing. also gets triggered af when their best friend isn’t there and will throw a tantrum

Jeno:brought a pillow to class and swore he was not taking a nap and just 'resting his eyes’

Jaemin: teacher told this kid to stop smiling because it was creepy af and laughs at the most inappropriate times

Jisung: broke down when they had to do their final presentation and still got an A

anonymous asked:

aah I really like your recent seventeen neighbour au! can you do that for the rest of the members too? if that's too much then just wonwoo, soonyoung, and seungcheol. Thank you! <3

joshua, mingyu & seungkwan can be found (here) ~

Wonwoo

  • relatively keeps to himself, is the kind of mysterious neighbor that no one really knows much about 
  • sometimes kids are afraid of him because he has a really deadpan expression so the moms are always like “wonwoo-ah ,,,,, please smile? it’s so nice out!!”
  • but he ends up just getting embarrassed and then asking mingyu when they hangout at a cafe like “kids never let me pat their heads,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,am i scary?”
  • and mingyu is like uh WELL,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but in reality wonwoo is a sweethearted angel. like he picks up litter if he sees it around the apartment building and always offers to hold groceries for any of the elder neighbors 
  • also he always gets cutely startled when another neighbor’s dog comes over to him and sniffs him or barks in greeting and he’s like !!!!! usually ends up dropping whatever he’s holding
  • and he looks down at the little like ??? pomeranian and is like “so,,,,,scary,,,,”
  • and the owner is like omg,,,,,,,,,,,no they’re not scary they’re cute do you wanna pet them??? and wonwoo is like NO ,,, no ,,,,thank you i gtg
  • his apartment is really clean and well kept,,,,,,he has this vintage looking record player and collects mostly older jazz stuff that’s soothing and sometimes even a lil sad
  • when his friends come over they’re always like “dude,,,,,,,do you have any records from like pop groups???” and wonwoo just blinks and is like “why would i have that,,,,,,i listen to records before i sleep i don’t think i could fall asleep to snsd’s ‘party’,,,,,,”
  • he’s also a big fan of blankets and has them everywhere so he can fall asleep anywhere he pleases: the living room, the bedroom, the goddamn kitchen -
  • doesn’t really decorate his walls but has a photo of parents and brother in the hallway and every morning he waves goodbye to it before he leaves,,,,,it’s cute
  • and you have seen wonwoo before, mostly in passing. he never really looks up from his phone or book so it’s more like passing a ghost than anything
  • until one day you’re both on the floor at the same time and as you unlock your door, you take a step in until you look back and see that,,,,,,,,,,,
  • wonwoo is staring at his door and you’re like ?????? what’s he doing
  • and then you see him literally fall forward with his forehead against the door and you’re like IS HE OK and you’re hesitant but you call out like “everything alright???”
  • and wonwoo turns his head and he’s like ,,,,,,, “i don’t have my keys,,,,,,,im locked out.”
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,did you,,,,,,,forget them inside??? and he nods,,,,shamefully looking at the floor and you’re like oh,,,,,unsure of what to do
  • but then you hear it. a growl. 
  • a stomach growl
  • and you can’t help but laugh and wonwoo puts a hand shyly over his shirt and he’s like “e-excuse me,,,” but you’re like “if you’re hungry you can come over, im just making ramen tonight so?” 
  • and wonwoo is shy, he’d usually probably decline because he doesn’t want to bother you but then he hears his stomach growl again and he knows mingyu (who has a spare to his apartment) is gonna take like 2 hours to get here
  • so he nods and you grin, telling him not to be shy and come over.
  • and once you’re inside, wonwoo sitting awkwardly at your kitchen table you’re like “so,,,,,while the water is boiling - tell me about yourself.”
  • and wonwoo is like “there’s not much,,,,,” and he tells you that he has a brother, he likes to listen to music, write lyrics sometimes,,,,,and he’s kinda like “im sorry im boring” and you’re like no not at all and once the ramen is done you guys keep like talking
  • and wonwoo is a little reserved, obviously you guys are strangers basically, but you keep listening with enthusiasm and you smile when he attempts a joke and ask him more about himself
  • and unlike most people you’re not,,,,,,,making some comment about how he looks angry or tired. you’re just,,,,,,,genuinely listening and it’s been a long time since wonwoo has met someone new who didn’t right away seem judgmental of how kind of simple he is about most things
  • and once he realizes that mingyu is calling him to let him know he’s here, wonwoo is kind of upset that he has to leave the conversation,,,,,
  • but you tell him that it was nice talking and he thanks you for the food and when he meets mingyu out in the hall
  • mingyu is like nudging wonwoo and he’s like “that neighbor you were with - they’re cute.” and wonwoo is like “oh,,,,yeah they are,,,,,and they’re nice,,,”
  • and mingyu’s like wiggling his eyebrows and he’s like “did you just call someone nice,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmm i thought you weren’t a people person,,,,”
  • and wonwoo is like GIVE me the spare keys mingyu
  • and mingyu is like “go ask the neighbor on a date and i will.” and wonwoo is like m I NG Yu,,,,,,,but mingyu won’t let up because he’s like c’mon i know you think they’re cute 
  • so when you hear a knock on your door and open it, wonwoo is biting his lip but he’s also like “not,,,,not to be weird but are you free this weekend? i just want to get to know you more so we can get coffee,,,,,,,if this isn’t awkward,,,,”
  • and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,you’re flattered and you’re like sure!!! and wonwoo is like ,,,,,,,,well in shock because you agreed but also blushing because wow,,,,,,,he actually got a date with you,,,,,,
  • and you exchange a time and place and you smile before closing the door and wonwoo swears his heart beats a bit faster
  • but then he hears mingyu’s voice like GET IT BRO and wonwoo is like “give me the spare this time or eLSE-”

Hoshi

  • always running out of his apartment because he seemingly is late no matter what???
  • like no matter how many alarm clocks he sets,,,,,,he leaves his house juggling his keys, his bus pass, his jacket, his water ,,,,,, and his hair looks like it has never seen a brush in it’s life
  • he always ends up forgetting something too. usually it’s literally he forget to lock the door to his apartment 
  • but this is his charm!!!! all the older people are like “he’s such a youthful young boy full of energy!” and all the kids think he’s super cool because he dances and does taekwondo 
  • and also hoshi has this bad habit of listening to music way too loud in his headphones so if you’re on the elevator with him you’re sure to be hearing shinee’s 1of1 album blasting through the small space 
  • and speaking of shinee, hoshi looks up to them so much he has their poster up on his wall. well he has a lot of stuff on his wall from the medals he’s won in taekwondo, to bizarre polaroid photos of seokmin and minghao, to autographs he’s gotten from famous choreographers he’s met
  • and his wall is a mess, so is his floor and bed. like there’s training clothes everywhere and his bed is never made and the only saving grace is the can of febreeze he got from mingyu as a gift on secret santa 
  • his refrigerator is just big bottles of water and frozen sushi he got from the grocery store and like no one understands what in the world he’s living off??? maybe he’s running off energy from the sun??? who knows
  • and you know hoshi, it’s impossible not to with his crazy bedhead and his singing outloud to ‘sherlock’ habit
  • and you guys are friends, not like super close but you know enough to talk in the hall and one day as you’re talking you mention you just beat your highscore in ‘just dance’ on this song by usher
  • and hoshi’s like “that’s your highest score? i could crush you if that’s your best.” and you’re like OH WANNA BET 
  • and hoshi is like hell yeah i wanna bet come over and ill show you how a pro does it
  • and so you end up sitting on his couch (which he had to clean, there were chip bags and notebooks on it) watching hoshi turn on his wii and before starting the game he turns around to give you a grin and you’re like PFFT you’ll never beat my score
  • but ,,,,,,,,,,you are wrong. he beats your score. that and also,,,,,,you’ve never seen such a good dancer in your life
  • BUT ARE YOU GONNA ADMIT THAT ? NO WE DON’T LOSE IN THIS HOUSE
  • so you get up there and you bust out everything you have and hoshi is like OOOOOOO you look serious,,,,but it won’t be enOUGh
  • and by the end of it you’re huffing and puffing but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,YOU GET A HIGHER SCORE
  • and you’re like AYEEEEE I WON GIVE ME THOSE 50 BUCKS WE BET
  • and hoshi is staring at the TV with his jaw on the floor but then he’s smiling and he’s like “you’re so cool!!!!!!!! you actually beat me!!!!!” and he high-fives you because tbh he’s competitive but like,,,,,,,he’s also a sweet guy
  • and you’re like ohg;ldskgfh,,,,,i did,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and hoshi is like “i don’t have fifty bucks on me, but i do have enough to take you out to dinner? it’ll be japanese take out though,,,,,” and you’re like LOL that’s fine. free food = good prize
  • and hoshi like offers out his hand and he’s like “shall i escort you to the five star restaurant than?” and he’s got this mock british accent but you’re laughing and you take his hand 
  • and you only blush when you realize that you guys are still holding hands as you leave the building and go up the street,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and maybe you blush even more when hoshi is like “doesn’t this kinda feel like a first date?” right in front of the cashier at the takeout place and you’re like SHUT
  • but he’s just grinning and you’re like,,,,,,,what is going on
  • and hoshi is like “i figured just dinner isn’t enough so, ill add another thing to your prize.” and you’re like what is it??” 
  • and then he like pokes his cheek and is like “this date with me~~~~” and you’re like never do aegyo again but omg you’re cute,,,,,,,

Seungcheol 

  • casanova of your apartment building 
  • winks and uses the same “you look like a flower every time i see you, but this time - you’re in full bloom~” line on everyone,,,,,,,,,and when i mean everyone i M E A N E V E R y o n E
  • even the dogs that live in the building ,,,, like there’s a lady with a little chihuahua on the second floor and after telling the lady she looks ten years younger than before, seungcheol like calls the dog a beauty and wow is that dog blushing?????? probably 
  • he’s kind of a really popular guy,,,,like to the point that people will wait outside your building and be like “does seungcheol really live here??? i heard he’s so handsome you can’t look him straight in the eyes,,,,,,,”
  • but in reality,,,,,, his apartment is just the most least romantic thing ever LOL
  • like there’s just sports equipment, sports magazines, and empty water bottles everywhere ,,,,,,, and his laundry pile is so big it’s threatening to fall over,,,,,,, and like the only thing he has for decoration in his whole apartment is like a picture frame he got as a housewarming gift from seungkwan but ,,,,,, there’s no picture in it
  • and like he’s lucky because he has a balcony he can go out onto but on it is his bike that takes up half the space and dying plants he never takes care of
  • and he’s so,,,,,,,like well-kept when he leaves the house but then he comes home and throws everything off and like literally rolls into bed or plays video games in just his sweatpants
  • and you know more than anyone else how the ‘suave and cool’ seungcheol really is because you’ve been friends since before you were neighbors
  • and you’re always over at his place sitting on his balcony and just talking (mostly gossiping because seungcheol actually has a LOT to say and the view from the balcony is nice)
  • and sometimes you come over and trip over like a jumprope he left on the floor and the only reason those plants on his balcony are not DEAD but definitely close is because you water them when you drop by LOL
  • and seungcheol tries to bribe you to do his laundry but you flick his forehead and you’re like “no. im not your maid. get joshua to do it.”
  • and one day you come over and you’re like ,,,,,, seungcheol your apartment is negative ten degrees” and seungcheol
  • who is sitting on his couch in a literal down coat is like “yeah i forgot to pay the heating bill.”
  • and you’re like OH MY GOD but you’re also like get up loser you can spend the night at my place and not die here like a human icicle 
  • and seungcheol is like like i love you you’re my everything my SAVIOR
  • and you’re like SAVE IT DO NOT GREASE ME
  • so seungcheol ends up in your living room on your couch instead and you’re like ok goodnight and seungcheol is like “hEY,,,,,since im here let’s watch a scary movie or something” and you’re like dude we’re not kids this isn’t a sleepover your dumb butt literally didn’t pay- and seungcheol is like fine fine you’re scared I GET IT
  • and you pause because exCUSE me who did you call scared???? move over
  • and you plop down next to him and pick the scariest movie you can find and you’re like “first one to scream is a big loser - ok?” and seungcheol is like “when in my life have i ever screamed? you’re on”
  • but halfway through,,,,like you aren’t even paying attention because you’re sitting under the same blanket as seungcheol and like his arm is practically around your waist and your thighs are touching and he’s really big and warm
  • and you’re tired,,,,,,you had a long day and before you know it you’re knocked out. like what movie? what bet? ZZZZ time
  • and seungcheol notices, and he’s like oh they’re asleep,,,,,he should move so you can lay down
  • but as he’s watching your face illuminated only by the light of the TV like ,,,,,, seungcheol notices finally just how nice your features are
  • and you two have been friends for like ever,,,,, but he’s never quite looked at you and taken it all in,,,,,,,,and somehow now that he is
  • seungcheol is like ,,,,,, oh god ,,,,,,,, you’re cute
  • and not only that???? you literally have saved his ass so many times from bringing him actual food when he forgot to grocery shop, to helping him get hotpacks when he pulled his shoulder, to now,,,,,,when he found himself freezing in his own apartment like YOU saved him
  • and leaning down he brushes some hair from your face and he’s like,,,,, you know what im not gonna move
  • and instead moves a bit so your head falls on his shoulder more comfortably and he moves the blanket off himself so it’s covering all of you
  • and he falls asleep too,,,,,,,,,with the movie still playing
  • and in the morning you open your eyes and you’re like wow my mattress is so warm but broad and oooo it’s moving
  • but then you look down and oh hey there seungch- WHAT
  • and you want to jump up and be like WHAT IS GOING ON but seungcheol lazily opens one eye and is like “go back to sleep,,,,,,,”
  • and for some reason nothing feels wrong about this,,,it’s surprising but not wrong,,,,,,,,
  • so you just shrug and go back to sleep as you feel seungcheols arms wrap tighter around you
  • and oh my god isn’t the best friends to lovers cliche amazing,,,,,,it really is hehe 

anonymous asked:

NOW YOU NEED TO TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MUSICALL

Oh my gosh it was amazing?? Like I loved it soooooOO much. I’m trying to refrain from screaming but !!! The acting was great, the cast was so talented, and it was overall an amazing show. I’m just gonna list some things I LOVED

-Chris’s first line was “look I didn’t want to be a half blood” (my friend and I were screaming when he came on stage)

-Good kid live sounded so great. He climbed the set and scaffolding and I almost cried. I probably will cry.

-Mr. D was hilarious! George Salazar is such a talented actor

“Tartarus” “-Like the fish sauce?!”

My favorite easter egg was in one song when they were going through some of the quest moments their clue to leave the lotus casino was when a girl with a floppy hat and a braid came out and said “my brother and I just arrived here yesterday, may 1st…1939!”

Carrie Compere’s voice is so beautiful. She killed it. Sally, Silena, Charon, she was amazing.

-Sally in general! She kissed Percy’s forehead, sprayed febreeze whereever Gabe went, and was so caring and sweet

-Annabeth’s solo song was amazing and really in character! Grover’s was about Thalia and how he could have saved her (again, tears)

-The little percabeth moments sprinkled in! “You drool in your sleep”, “seaweed brain” “wise girl” they held hands for a couple seconds, and idk if it was just me but at one point they looked close enough to kiss

-we can’t have a scorpion on stage?? Why don’t we just fuckin stab Percy in the back

-CHIRON WAS JUST A GUY WITH A FRINGE TAIL WHO GALLOPPED EVERYWHERE IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING

-Like everyone except Chris McCarrel and Kristin Stokes played multiple rolls and they were all so great at what they did

-At the end of the show I (and a bunch of others) got to meet some of the cast members! They signed things, took photos, and were so so nice (my current lockscreen is my photos with chris mccarrel, george salazar, and kristin stokes lmao)

I could say so much more but it’s like almost 1am and I’m delirious.

TLDR: The Lightning Thief was an incredibly amazing play with great talented actors and it was definitely worth it! I loved it so so much

College Cleaning List & Guide

So I made this cause I think a lot of people have trouble finding a groove when cleaning their apartment or dorm room. It’s super important to do cause dirty dorm rooms are why everyone has to get their meningitis shot before school. Here is what I recommend doing. At most it takes 45 minutes but usually it will take me around 25 minutes to do all of this in a standard sized double, so there’s really no reason not to.

You are doing both yourself and your roommate a disservice when you don’t clean your room. Also! No one wants to be the homie with the stinky room, so below I’ve added a list of cleaning supplies and a step by step guide on how you can keep your room inhabitable and reduce your risk of getting sick during the year.

-Lysol All-Purpose Disinfecting Wipes

-Clorox Bleach in a Spray Bottle*

-Glade Plug-In

-Dust Pan & Broom

-Stick Vacuum

-Sponge

-Dish Soap

-Paper Towels

-Toilet Scrubber (You can find a cheap one at a dollar store)*

-Swiffer Wet Jet/Dirt Devil Wet Spray Mop

-Fabuloso if you get the Dirt Devil (Green Apple scent is my personal favorite)

-MicroFiber cloth or a Swiffer Duster

-Febreeze Fabric Freshener

-Rubber Gloves (Optional)

-Clorox Toilet Bowl Cleaner in a bottle (Optional)*

*if you have a bathroom

So heres the dealio kiddos!

Step 1: Make your bed! Shake out any blankets or throws and let any debris on them fall to the ground. Put any dirty plates or cutlery to the side and out of the way, or stick them in your sink if you have one.

Step 2: Start with your microfiber cloth/duster or wipes and start wiping down every surface. If you have crumbs on a desk or chair feel free to wipe them onto the ground we will get them next.

Step 3: Grab your Vacuum and/or Broom and dustpan and start getting all of that debris off your floor. You will be surprised how much dust, crumbs and miscellaneous items there are. Sometimes I vacuum and then sweep just to make sure I get any grains of sand or dirt stuck in corners out, cause I don’t like the feeling of it sticking to my feet, or getting in my bed, cause then it’s gritty.

Step 4: Grab your mop and start wet mopping all over the place. This will make the place smell so nice and get any sort of thing stuck to the ground that you missed. The nice thing about the Dirt Devil spray mop is you can add any cleaner you want and just stick the pad in the washing machine when you need to clean it as opposed to the wet jet, where you need to buy pads and cleaner cartridges.

Step 5: Febreeze over your bed, febreeze over your roommates bed (make sure they aren’t allergic to febreeze), febreeze your chair if it has fabric. Basically Febreeze any fabric in the room.

Now! You’re basically done. If you have a bathroom, repeat the steps above and additionally:

Cleaning your Shower: Remove any items from your shower. Get gloves, paper towels, and clorox bleach spray. Spray the Clorox Bleach on the plastic part of your shower curtain and then wipe down with paper towels. Spray all over the inside of the shower and wait 2 minutes. Turn the shower on and let it rinse off anything it can reach. Turn off the shower and wipe down anything it didn’t reach.

Cleaning your Toilet: Lift the seats of the toilet. Get the toilet bowl cleaner or spray bleach, toilet scrubber, rubber gloves, and paper towels/disinfectant wipes. Use the toilet bowl cleaner, or the spray bleach to coat the inside of the toilet with cleaner. Grab your scrubber and give it a good scrub. Flush! Now you can use the disinfectant wipes or the spray bleach and paper towels to wipe down the seats, back and handle of the toilet.

Cleaning your dishes: Get your sponge, rubber gloves, and dish soap. Let your plates and cutlery soak in hot water for 2 minutes, if you don’t have a stopper you can let the hot water run over them. Put dish soap on your sponge and start scrubbing those dishes under warm water. When you’re done with cleaning an item, wipe them dry with a paper towel or regular towel and put them to the side. You can also set up some paper towels on a surface and lay them on there to dry while you continue washing. When you’re done washing the dishes, lift every item off the sink and use the same sponge to wash down the sink and rinse it with water. Now you’ve also cleaned your sink!

Things people forget to clean: microwave, mini fridge, desk surface, door handles, windows.

Other helpful tips:

Once you’ve cleaned it fully(I do this every week or every other week) you can mop your floor quickly every day or every other day to keep it grit free. If you see dirt or feel it, just sweep or mop it up; it’ll make the next big clean easier.

Change/Wash your sheets every 1-2 weeks, especially if you have sensitive skin! Dirty shams can give you acne.

When using bleach be careful! A) it can ruin your clothes and B) it is an irritant so avoid getting it on your skin. If you do, wash it off as soon as possible.

Good Luck!

Random things while rewatching the musical:

Snow… I think those cleaners are taking you for a ride, my love. 

“Just shake it out a little and spray some Febreeze on it. She won’t know.”

Just saying

Awww… Killian put out a couple bowls of nuts and nibbles for his and Dave’s wedding prep. He’s excited, bless him.

Also that suit looks like it’d drown him.

Killian… my darling…. you know you’re the groom, right??? 

He totally plays the blushing bride so well here.

David’s face when Hook is kicking everything 

“That was a perfectly good jug-”

 “Well there goes your invite to dinner at our dining table.”

Does Gold just wait in the back room purely so he can enter dramatically through those curtains?

I’m glad Emma and Henry brought the canoe back to its rightful place.
(I know I know it’s a rowing boat… i think)

That broach and earring set wasn’t in there before…
(I’m gonna headcanon they were a gift from the hubby during the early stages of dating… bless him, I guess he’s only perfect 99% of the time)

Have those criminals on that board ever been found?

So… heart rips… I mean i know it’s ‘magic’ and whatnot… but surely they’ve got some sort of sticky or wet residue around them. I mean they are still being taken out of the body. Why does no one clean them off before putting them back? That’s how germs spread, people. I’m surprised there hasn’t been a virus outbreak in Storybrooke. Organs being exposed to all sorts and thrown around in the dirt and on the floors- and i’m sure no one’s washing their hands before handling. 

It’s terrible. 

Emma should have used this forcefield during the pancakes scene.

*sings*

 “Go awayyyy!!!” 

*magical blast slams the door*

I have nothing to say other than he is beautiful…. 

And Archie’s creepin’ on the Captain again.

I know your game, Cricket. 

I would 101% be part of this conga line. 

Romance and music aside… it just kind of looks like they’re showing each other their fillings. 

erraticartist  asked:

Are there any average household things one might need to concider as dangers to housebirds? I know Teflon can off-gas badly, is there anything else that the average Joe might have around that could be accidently deadly?

Fans- nothing can stop Rex from sitting on the oscillating ones and spinning, just make sure that bars aren’t big enough/at an angle for tosies or feathers to get through

Stove tops- no birds out when they’re on or hot. Gotta love my friends over in Europe with electric kettles, those things rock. Y'all know where it’s at

Fish tanks- I have one in my room that I have had to expertly cover to prevent Rex from trying to get in. Make sure you have a secure hood and not one of those awesome looking open tanks…we all have a deep fear of Rex snooping around my brother’s powerful and large oscar’s tank, that fish has a big mouth and could grab her beak or toes!!

Anything on shelves- if it isn’t twice as heavy as your bird or particularly stable it will be knocked over, say goodbye to all but the heaviest of wine glasses

Toilets- please close the seat, there is a 250% your pigeon will see it and think “ah what a lovely bath!”

Lamps- make sure they’re stable…Rex thinks they’re a wonderful place to warm her birdie buns, this is a common trend

Open flames- candles should never be lit in a room the bird can get to

Febreeze, all those other air fresheners, bug sprays, flea and tick collars and preventives- toxic death!!! Double check ANYTHING that you spray in the air or hang for odor control

Fly sticky strip traps- also called “horrible feather removers”

Fancy decorative 6ft tall giraffe- will be knocked over while your brother is at college and part of it will break off, you haven’t told him to this day

Ear buds/wires/string- will be used as nesting material, inevitably getting it lost or tangled on their feet

Your heart- they’re sure to snatch it up and never let it go

I wanna read or maybe I’ll write an AU where Derek is from a rich family who’s basically had everything handed to him. Despite this he’s still pretty down to earth and actually attends a regular university, the one his parents attended and met at before all their success(maybe he’s a little sentimental, sue him).

But Derek has a major problem.

He doesn’t know how to work a washing machine. Or cook. Or clean. Or anything else. He’s never even held a broom before! He’s always had a maid. And really, a man can only buy so many new pairs of boxers and rely on febreeze before he needs to reconsider his life choices. He’s this close to googling it when Stiles walks into the laundry room, immediately sees the problem and just helps him without making him feel stupid. “You do realize I’ve probably taught like, ten others how to do this? No biggie.”

So when Derek runs across another problem, seriously he’s gained like 5lbs already from all the crap food, he calls upon Stiles to help him. Stiles teaches him how to shop and cook a few things without complaining. When Derek asks how he knows this stuff, Stiles gets a sad look in his eye but just shrugs.

Derek keeps calling on him whenever he runs into another problem and the two get a lot closer. They hang out, go to the gym together, have study sessions, and even sometimes fall asleep together on the couch after late night movies and talks. Finally Stiles tells him that his mom had passed when he was 10, and he had to learn how to do these things because his dad was always busy being the Sheriff and Deputies can only do so much.

Stiles gets upset and Derek doesn’t like that. Doesn’t like that Stiles had to grow up so quickly so he plans out a day trip for the two of them where he takes him to the zoo and the trampoline park and to the carnival in time.

And on the Ferris wheel, Stiles gets cold, so Derek gives him his jacket and they sit a little closer than maybe necessary but they’re content and Stiles is looking over the side laughing when he asks why Derek did all this for him. And Derek can’t really answer because Stiles has always had a way of taking his words from him so Derek just kinda shrugs, tries to let it go. But Stiles isn’t stupid and so he reaches over and kisses Derek. And maybe they ride the Ferris wheel a couple more times, just snuggled into each other’s arms.

Otherwise known as, The 5 times Stiles taught Derek how to adult, and the 1 time Derek reminded him how to be a kid.

+ Bonus points if somewhere in the background on the Ferris wheel, Scott says “look! There’s Jackson, let’s spit on him!” And then “oh shit! I hit Lydia!”

2

“Like elder brother and younger brother”

(Shoma and Keiji’s interview in Quadruple 2017 Extra magazine. Thanks to @chestnutskating for the scans!)

Shoma Uno and Keiji Tanaka have been leading Japanese men’s figure skating since they were juniors, and they finished gold and silver at this season’s Japanese Nationals. Their joint interview became a reality after they finished their segments at Worlds. We got a sneak peak into the 19 and 23 year olds’ raw, true selves which we do not get to see most of the time.

– Well done at the World Championships. Were you in the same room this time?

K + S: Nope, we weren’t.

S: We haven’t roomed together much since we became seniors right?

K: Nope, not normally.

– You roomed together frequently when you were juniors.

S: Yep, that’s right.

K: We did room a lot when we were juniors.

Keep reading

Taeyong as a Boyfriend

A/N: Oml I know there’s like a million of these but they seem so fun and cute and I wanted to try it!


• Lots of hugs
• You being annoyed every time he starts cleaning the house when it’s already perfectly clean
• Tickle fights
• Lots of pouting
• You begging him to do aegyo
• “Can I get a kiss?”
• “No, I didn’t see you brush your teeth today”
• You being jealous of Ten because he spends more time with your boyfriend then you
• Having to force him to go to bed at night cause he’s a workaholic
• Holding hands while watching a movie at night
• Late night snaks
• Lots of back hugs
• “OPEN YOUR EYES!”
• “SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP!”
• Lots of lip biting 
• Passionet Sex
• Sometimes rough
• Long sweet kisses
• Him getting jealous easily 
• You teasing him about it, and assuring him that he’s the only one you love
• Cheek kisses
• Lip biting
• LOTS AND LOTS OF LIP BITING
• Lots of teasing
• Like literally, he’ll be up on stage dancing to The 7Th sense and he’ll be throwing winks and body rolling like there’s no tomorrow
• Little shit
• Loves it when you cuddle to his chest
• Having to comfort him when he feels sad or stressed
• Amazing with his tongue(Just saying)
• Getting mad when you don’t wash the dishes when it’s your turn
• “GET YOUR PURKY ASS IN THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW!”
• “UGHH”
• Falling asleep on the couch together
• You buying him a new sent of febreeze for his Birthday

Short story:

“Y/N!” You heard Taeyong yell from upstairs, quickly getting up from the comfortable couch you were sitting  and walking to the front of the stairs with a worried look on your face, thinking something bad happened.

Taeyong angrily walked down the stairs with something behind his back. You couldn’t really see what it was, but the way it moves behind his back made you get a sneak peak of what it was. Like some type of clothing.

“What is it?” You asked while furrowing your eyes. Stepping back a bit so he could stand right in front of you.

“How could you?!?” He said sadly. You started to feel a bit nervous by his tone. But confused at the same time.

“I trusted you, I gave you my trust and you took that trust and stomped all over it. YOU BETRAYED ME Y/N, our relationship is broken now ” He yelled as he breathed heavily.

You being confused to why he said, walked closer to him but he stopped back. Putting a hand in betwen you two so there was some kind of space.

“What are you talking about Tae?” You asked once more. Sighing in process, tired of all  this.

He gave a loud sigh while he reviled the piece of clothing he was hiding. It was your underwear.

“You left your underwear on the floor.” He said while putting his free hand over his chest, acting like he was hurt.

“Uh, oops” You sigh and rolled your eyes while walking away.

“Oops!? oOPS?????” He repited as his eye twitched a bit. “Why do you hate me. Why do you choose to hurt me like this?” He pouted

You laughed and gave him a small kiss on the cheek and grabbing your underwear.

“I promise I’ll be more careful with my stuff” You promised while walking over to the couch. 

“Thank you! Its all I ask for” He said while running back upstairs.


Kiki~