fears and insecurities

On #TransLiberationTuesday, I commit to continue lifting up the voices and lives of my black trans sisters who have been mocked, harassed and murdered. I commit to using my platform and voice for the progress of my community. I commit to continue laying down self-doubt, fear and insecurity in my identity. I am beautiful. I am fearless. I am powerful. I am here. #BlackTransLivesMatter #BlackLivesMatter #AllOfUsOrNoneOfUs

Second piece of advice, assuming that choosing a person is a thing you need to do, is this: in my thirties I came to understand that picking a partner was as much about their faults as their virtues. Someone can have the most exciting good qualities, things that light you up all the way to your toes with how much you admire them, but if their faults don’t turn out to be ones you can live with it doesn’t matter. Of course you will want strong upsides, but let me just assure you right now: the downsides must be things you can roll with to some degree.

The faults (or mismatches, or however you care to construct it) cannot be things that trigger your fears and insecurities. They cannot make you feel diminished or invisible, not if you hope to live a happy life with that person. They can make you furious, they can make you exhausted, they can make you frustrated beyond the power of language to communicate – those are all actually totally acceptable ways to feel in a relationship sometimes, even if they’re no fun. With someone who has great and delicious virtues, someone who makes you feel emboldened and enlarged, you can probably be happy and satisfied for a very very long time with faults that (occasionally) make you feel white-hot with anger.

Faults or mismatches that make you feel unseen, or afraid, or small in the bad way (not tended to and cuddled, but condescended to and belittled) are… they’re awful. They erode your sense of yourself over time. That’s one of the ways powerful, thoughtful people end up staying in no-good relationships for too long; their confidence gets washed away bit by bit as they get habituated to a steady trickle of being undermined. So it’s vital, Brave Correspondent – absolutely critical – that you evaluate this boy and this girl in the light of not only what about them makes you feel fizzy with joy and hot with wanting. Also please look at how you feel when you disagree. This is so, so important.

When I tell my family that I’m trans (there’s no if, because I can’t do that to them…they deserve to know no matter the outcome) the only real problem I can see is trying to get them to understand that even though I didn’t show any “signs” doesn’t mean I ever felt comfortable with myself

Like any of the “boyish” things I did/wore, my family always just summed it up to being a tomboy- and maybe when I was just a tyke before I had any concept of gender, that was true.

But if they knew about what I would do/who I would act when I was alone in my room or bathroom, then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to tell them. Or maybe I would have been able to come to terms with who I am sooner or…I don’t know.

I’m just getting into a funk again because I’m afraid that my family will just cut me off and/or I’m gonna be alone for the rest of my life because I’m a “freak” or “pretending” or a million other things someone will (and most likely can) say to me.

And then I’m scared that no matter what I do, I’ll never been seen as a man. Like…I can dress as manly as possible, start T, get (at least) top surgery, have some scruff, and look/sound as much like a man as possible, I won’t ever be considered a man. And I know that other’s validation isn’t what makes someone something, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t suck if no one else took you seriously and respected who you are.

I don’t know…maybe it this post has something to do with my own insecurities and living in Texas. Or this could just be my own way of trying to cope with the dysphoria I feel…you know, (trying) to talk it out and I don’t know what else.

And maybe this has everything to do with the fact that I don’t know many other transmen so I can’t really talk and get advice and support and a anything else. 

Whatever this post is, I just know that I’m glad I don’t work until 4pm tomorrow because I will be drinking and then end the night reading Red Dragon.

When you feel insecure about yourself in groups of people remember that only you see your complete self: the one with the insecurities, fears, internal flaws. Others see only the self that you project outwardly – through your clothes, your speech, your smile – and it’s so often a positive projection. People see the good in you. Don’t be so hard on yourself.


this info could explain future strange behavior, and it’s 1am so I have no judgement.

I’m always afraid that I’m that one kid that no one likes but no one has the heart to tell them. 

My worst fear is to wake up and realize that I procrastinated my life away and I never achieved anything I wanted to. 

I have a strange sense of paranoia that even my boyfriend is just pitying me and one day I’m gonna go to school and everyone’s going to hate me. (one time I went to school and someone said everyone would be in the library but nobody was, but they weren’t and I had a mental breakdown and sobbed for three hours.)

I’m not insecure of my body overall, just certain parts. (once when my friends little sister asked why I was wearing a shirt that showed my belly and I said ‘cause I have daddy issues’)

anonymous asked:

M!A Arthur's different personalities are spilt into seperate beings

(//there are two other variations of this M!A but i’m just going to use this ask for it)


Rage: “Greaat now I have to be stuck lookin’ at all yer fockin faces again…”

Joy: “It’s not that bad! It’s nice to interact with others!”

Sadness: “That’s what you think though…”

(more about each below:)

Keep reading

zuko is honestly such a deep, multifaceted character, and very easy to relate to… it’s a real shame when people reduce him to just being a petty antagonist u_u

zuko’s primary motivations are fear and insecurity. like many people, he places his self-worth in what he does; in this case, firebending. so of course he wants to be at the top. he loves the bending, he loves to practice, but he also wants to be recognized, so he does his absolute best to improve. he trains all the time, stays up all night firebending, gives 100% at pretty much every moment.

and then someone much younger than him, a prodigy, comes along and with seemingly half the effort, begins to achieve everything he’s spent years working for.

so he feels threatened, because of his self-worth being so tied up in firebending. he feels resentment, because he’s put forth so much effort. and the thing is, that is so easy to relate to, if you think about it. how many comics have you seen on this site about younger artists drawing masterpieces and making you feel like shit? yeah. it’s a genuine struggle that many of us have experienced in some way or another.

and i mean, ffs, zuko helped aang, katara, and sokka. he’s not a bad guy. he’s a teenager, struggling through doubt, insecurity, and jealousy.

in summary: zuko defense squad 2k15 and forever tbqh

anonymous asked:

Red and blue

Hi there lovely anon!

Red: Seven insecurities

  1. The bags that are slowly forming under my eyes
  2. How awkwardly tall I am compared to my friends. (5'5" is tall apparently!)
  3. The awkward curvature of my body.
  4. My voice (Singing, and talking)
  5. How long my fingers and toes are. (I swear I’m like an alien.
  6. How skinny I am. (17 pounds underweight)
  7. How small my chest and ass is.

Blue: Three fears

  1. Needles, especially IV’s.
  2. Being kidnapped
  3. Sticking my hand in the oven. (I burned my self really bad when I was a kid.)
What is a sunset good for
if not to paint the sky red
to black
to blue again?
Take this as a lesson
from the universe:
we all find ourselves
changing with the seasons,
waxing and waning with the moon.
We all struggle to fight a new day,
knowing full well
that the sun will rise
in spite of our fears
and insecurities.
Years go by,
and we all come face to face
one especially dark night
with our own reflection
and we do not recognize
the animal staring back at us.
You see, the universe is stubborn
and she never fails to reminds you:
Like the sky
and the ocean
and our bodies
when we’re through,
we all come back to blue.
—  Blue, Megan Rockett

Okay I’ve talked about this like billion times already but since I’m still not over it I’m gonna talk about it some more.

By ‘it’ I mean Thorin’s dragon sickness and especially the ramparts scene.

Because. If we think dragon sickness as something powerful and magical curse or disease, we can also entertain the thought of it having ‘a self’. Like it purposefully and  consciously getting to know Thorin, getting to know his hopes and dreams and fears and insecurities in order to fully corrupt him and really have a hold of him.

Okay, let’s do that. Let’s imagine that. Now, what does the sickness find? What does Thorin held dearest to him?

Family and kin. Nice. That’s easy enough to deal with. The love Thorin feels towards them is secure and strong. Safe. Dragon sickness takes Thorin’s fear of betrayal (betrayal, like the one when none of their allies came to help when Erebor fell) and twists that love. It makes Thorin see every single dwarf and man and elf who betrayed him or his people in the faces of his company. It makes Thorin remember how even your own blood can fail you. (After all, no help came from Dain either.)

Power. Thorin was raised to be a king. It is his birthright. Dragon sickness takes the dreams of a young boy and modifies them. It changes ‘kind’ to ‘hard’ and ‘wise’ to ‘cruel’, ‘brave’ to ‘unscrupulous’.

Gold. And this, of course, is the base of the sickness. Dwarves love gold. And while their love for it usually is one’s who admires the beauty of it and wants to craft it, the love for gold is also the easiest to corrupt. Dragon sickness combines Thorin’s natural love for riches with his desire to be the king he was supposed to be. It makes the two equal each other in Thorin’s mind. It makes him think he cannot be the king he has tried to be all his life if he doesn’t have the gold.

Bilbo. This is trickier for the dragon sickness to handle. Bilbo is a friend of Thorin, yes, but hasn’t been one for long enough to be counted as his kin. And the love Thorin feels towards Bilbo is different too. Something so fragile and strong in the same time. Something Thorin hasn’t experienced before.

It’s the newness that makes Bilbo hard to deal with for the dragon sickness. It can’t use Thorin’s past experiences against him, and all Bilbo has shown to Thorin is a loyal and brave heart. 

So the sickness does the only thing it can. It makes Bilbo a part of the hoard, part of the treasure it makes Thorin cherish. And the whole time sickness knows this is it’s weak spot. Living creatures aren’t gold, and therefore not safe to treasure as such. Gold cannot free Thorin from sickness, but Bilbo Baggins can.

Sickness knows this and fears for the moment Bilbo figures out how to reach out to Thorin trough the sickness. It knows it’s weakness and tries to find a way to destroy the love Thorin feels for Bilbo. It tries to find a fault in him - ie in the beginning of the acorn scene, it’s sickness asking Bilbo what he has in his hand, hoping to find a betrayal there, hoping to find something to make Thorin believe Bilbo isn’t worth his love. It finds nothing. Instead of betrayal Bilbo manages to remind Thorin of the importance of little things. If Dwalin hadn’t come and interrupted them, Thorin probably would’ve snapped out of the sickness.

Dragon sickness is now truly afraid. It knows Bilbo Baggins holds the keys to it’s destruction. Hence, the mithril scene. Little bit of precious metal on the hobbit to link him more strongly to the hoard and not to the people Thorin cares about. Also, remind Thorin of the betrayal that has probably happened. Make him talk of the gold, and take a stronger hold of him that way. That is the plan of the sickness.

And then. Finally. The ramparts scene.

It is Bilbo after all who betrayed Thorin. Sickness rejoices. It lets Thorin be himself for a while, lets  him feel the true pain of this betrayal. Only person Thorin could trust, he is the one to betray him. And then the sickness takes the final hold of Thorin and takes it’s opportunity to eliminate the only thing that it thinks can hurt it anymore. It takes the pain of betrayal and uses it as a fuel to Thorin’s rage. Bilbo isn’t a threat, not now, but he might be in the future again. (Betrayals can be forgiven too, after all.) That’s why the dragon sickness tries to kill Bilbo. To protect itself.

Labradorite looks dull until light hits its surface making it glow with an iridescent sheen. It is often referred to as the ‘Stone of Destiny’ as it is believed to help you to find your true path in life.
Labradorite is also said to promote wisdom, understanding and patience and to help banish fears and insecurities. In addition it is believed to protect and cushion the aura by helping to deflect unwanted energies.✨

New in! Labradorite Crystal Bullet Necklace ~ www.emptycasket.co.uk💙✨

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~Afterview of Vanity Fair~
Is the writing skill of the writer is too good or what(?), the unrealistic feeling about taylorswift struck to me again… SHE IS WAY MORE THAN PERFECTION, I mean the way how she treat people (friends, media, partners in music industry like Apple) make me just feel so overwhelm, I can’t be as sociable as hers for my entire life and the next one… That keeps me asking myself “she’s not real… Isn’t she? But I saw her performing on stage at 1989 tour in Philly, she MUST be real…”
But on the other hand, she has her own fear, she had her insecure time, she has her own things to worry and haunted her all the time, yet she can handle these so well… OMG WHAT PERSON I FALL IN LOVE TO!!?? IM SO UNSTABLE RIGHT NOW DONT TOUCH ME SUQHHDUWJSJWJIDUAIIDJKQ🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈