fears of a go go girl

someone: oh my god were you CRYING???

me, not even 4 minutes after a full on breakdown: 

Gilmore Girls is not interested in the crash itself. It’s not interested in any big, explosive scene, and that’s why we never see such moments onscreen — not the car crash, not the time Lorelai told her fiancé she wasn’t going to marry him, not the time Lorelai’s father Richard collapsed at Christmas dinner.

Instead, the show is interested in the fallout, in how the characters talk around explosions: in how Lorelai uses the car crash as a justification for her hatred of Jess, in the fear of commitment that keeps her from going through with her wedding, in how her father’s collapse stirs up all her old confusions and regrets about her relationship with her parents.

We never even see the most important moment of the entire show, the one that sets everything else in motion: the moment in which 16-year-old Lorelai decides to leave her parents’ house with baby Rory in tow. Lorelai’s choice to leave home is the primordial family trauma that powers Gilmore Girls’ entire run — the choice the characters talk around for seven seasons — but it is never, ever shown on camera. The closest we get to witnessing Lorelai’s departure is a flashback in which her mother, Emily, reads Lorelai’s goodbye note; Lorelai never even appears onscreen.

On Gilmore Girls, the explosion is never what matters: It’s the fallout.

i’m still so blown away by the spot on characterization of deadpool in the movie

the fact that the first time we see him not as deadpool, he’s working a free job for a teenage girl and putting the fear of god into her stalker

the fact that he doesn’t hurt kids, not even older ones, and “aw, he’s not a bad kid, weas”

him being ready to stand up for vanessa when some guy disrespects her and immediately going heart-eyes when she stands up for herself instead

and then not caring one bit that she’s a prostitute/stripper and it never being a problem when they’re in a serious long-lasting relationship

occasionally losing his temper (”AARRGH RIGHT UP MAIN STREET—three—two—stupid! worth it.” and then of course when vanessa gets kidnapped)

him totally not underestimating tiny negasonic, letting her take on angel dust because he knows she can hold her own, and then the immediate split second decision to grab her and pull her into cover when the guns start going off because he knows she’s strong as shit but not bulletproof

his bonding with blind al oh my fucking god and their disabled-person-to-disabled-person banter (”love is blind” “no, al, you’re blind”)

idk man this character just means a lot to me and so many people are being introduced to him solely through this movie, and i was so worried that they’d get a different character than what we get from the comics but they didn’t and i’m so happy about this

Hey, hey cuties. This little series is LGBTQ related magic, as a queer witch, I see a lack of magic specific to my community. So with the lovely group of folks I’ve had to advise me, I have managed to come up with quite a few things, as well as feature some work of other folks! Many of the topics in my little series here were requested. So before you go give me shit about what it is, it was requested, and your girl here always honors those requests!

So let’s get started. 

This week’s request was “To appear more masculine” as a request from a transguy, so this is focused on that particular request! So here we go!

JAR SPELL – from me ( @witchy-woman  )

sea salt - for protection
basil - for protection, dispels confusion, fear & weakness.
black pepper - for courage
geranium - for overcoming negative thoughts & attitudes, lifting spirits, protection & happiness.
holly - said to heighten masculinity 
cedar - confidence & strength
pine - new beginnings, resilience, growth & repelling negativity

Focus your intent for each and every layer, say your intent out loud (even over and over) if it helps! Meditate and focus your whole purpose for the jar, cork and seal it (I have a simple tutorial how to do so here). Don’t forget to stick it in the moonlight to charge it if you feel like it needs a kick!


I Bind Safely
by @witchywings

I Am Confident In My Gender
This Is A Trans Safe Space
I Am Safe While Binding

I Will Not Be Misgendered

by @gryphonknight

Dysphoria & Transphobia Trap Sigil
by @trans-warlock

Sigil For Being Confident In Your Gender Expression
by @pomegranateandivy

Protection of Trans and Intersex People
by @mistikovo

“Shapeshift” Sigil for Trans Glamours
by @stormwinged

Confidence Mirror Spell 
by @taurotrickster


Glamour Bottle For How Others Read You
by @thedandycrickette

Masculinity Scrub Glamour 
by @calefacientcatalyst

A Protection Spell for Coming Out As Trans
by @bottle-witch

I so hope that these were helpful! I love you all SO so much and I will see you next week with the next installment! You can find my other posts here and the other parts of this series here

in times of distress i like to remember clarke griffin in 2x01 because she is so stressed in that ep. like, i know Clarke. it literally starts with a sitting-grumpily-in-a-corner-on-a-nice-new-day clarke, who’s wearing white mount weather pj’s, in a white ass room and a camera that has been watching her for hours now, and then goes over to a screaming-and-destroying-things clarke, who breaks the camera and smashes the window of her room, because she sees someone outside who doesnt react to her loud noises. girl wants answers

and once she’s out (mind you, she is bleeding like crazy because the glass cut her, but still keeps going) she picks up a piece of the broken glass

and uses it on maya because she didn’t wanna listen to her loud noises

and once she makes it to the dining hall people go crazy because they see clarke and they fear a containment breach and clarke’s like “where the hell am i”

but it gets even more stressful. clarke gets restrained cause apparently shes learned quite a few things from ~ the outsiders ~ and sits there still in her white pj’s, all bloody and dangerous and still grumpy and really not in the mood for talks (until dante shows up and she starts to ask 100 questions about everything because clarke is smart and knows what to say and still wants answers)

when dante tells her to change her clothes and join them so that she can finally meet her people (those that have “survived”) she’s like “mmh okok” and then she gets new clothes and is allowed to choose whatever she wants to wear and the first thing you see written on her face is “huh, i actually did learn quite a few things from the outsiders” because clarke x heels?

make a great weapon

and then you see clarke in this outfit that literally screams gucci tracksuit (look at those sneakers). and dante is like… where the heel at clarke

and she pulls it out of her gucci jacket and is like “here”

and clarke is humiliated by her own failure. she should have known better. but she doesnt give up. instead she gets this neat map

and plans her next attempt.

and its so terrifying because this tiny blonde is manipulative as hell, like her name is associated with it. the first thing she does? steal maya’s card, literally pretending to be “sorry” and “I hope you understand that” and she couldn’t hide the heel but she can def hide the card *smoothly slips it into her gucci pocket*

but!!! maya realizes things in seconds and everyone is up on their feet and searching for clarke. and clarke is running through mount weather, using the card and then breaking the lock of a door so that the guards cant use their cards themselves and follow her anymore. well played griffin

and then she is ready to pull the lever because she doesnt believe the mountain men and just wants the rest of her people back.

but jasper and maya arrive and he stops her and clarke breaks and allows herself to be taken into custody

BUT not without leaving another message

because yes, she will do it, AGAIN. and succeed.

but until then, let her have this tiny moment after all that stress, before she is faced with the next stressful Thing

Do not go gentle
the poets say
the same way I shout
Fight me
to the boy down the street
everything inside me burning
the poets say
so I refuse to say silent
the poets say
so I will gnash my teeth and snarl
Do not go gentle
the poets plead
have no fear, a gentle girl does not live here
—  a girl who is angry, who is furious, who is scared, a girl who won’t give up without a fight /// d.c.j.

TFA Comic Edit | Kylux Edition (8/?) (previous)

Kylo: Take it back!
Rey: No!
Kylo: Hux is not stupid! Take it back!
Rey: Never!
Kylo: You’re the one who’s stupid! Hux is perfect and majestic!
Rey: He’s stupid.
Kylo: You’ll agree with me soon.
Rey: NEVER! I’ll never agree with you! YOU! You’re afraid. Afraid that Hux will never forgive you or– LOVE you!

Snoke: Don’t be stupid Kylo, that’s not true.
Kylo: but she told me *sob* that Hux was stupid, and knew all my *sob* fears.
Snoke: What say you, Hux?
Hux: Stupid. This girl knows nothing. I do love Kylo. She is playing on his fears. To help with this I will… *sigh* go on a date with Lord Ren…
Snoke: Fucking finally. Okay, go take the entire week off holy crap. 
Hux: A… week? As you wish, Supreme Leader. It will take a lot of preparing.
Snoke: Then go prepare the date!
Kylo: Supreme Leader– what about the mean girl? She can’t get away with this!
Snoke: And she won’t. Bring her to me.

I’m watching Hogfather because some brilliant someone put Diskworld on my dash, and I’m remembering how much I absolutely love Pratchett.

I want to throw just this one little story element out there.

Susan is a governess to two young children.  They’re supposed to be asleep, but the little girl comes into her room and says, “I’m scared that the monster in the cellar is going to eat me.”

And Susan takes her seriously.  Susan takes her fear seriously.

She gets up, grabs a fire poker, and marches off to the cellar.  The adults in the house see the two going past, and they think it’s a lark; it might actually work, they say, pretending to go into the cellar and making noise, so the little girl thinks the monster has been vanquished.  Very psychological.

We get a scene with the girl waiting patiently on the stairs and the adults not quite knowing what to make of all the noise, and then Susan comes out of the cellar, fire poker bent horrendously out of shape.  The adults say, ‘good touch that’ and head back to their dinner party.

And then Susan goes back into the cellar and drags the very real monster out by the tail, and she throws it out of the house.

Can we all just soak that in for a minute?  Okay good.

You should always take kids seriously when they’re scared.  Because sometimes, the monsters are real.  And sometimes, no one else is listening.

Terry Pratchett is just awesome.

Okay, so at this point, I was working at a Starbucks on a college campus. I was the overnight supervisor, so I saw a lot of crazy things. One night, this kid comes in at, like, 3am, and he is drunk as a skunk. I’m chatting with him while making his drink, not too worried about him because he’s a regular and I know he’s just going to walk back to his dorm anyway.

Kid gets out his phone and starts telling me about how there’s this girl he likes, and he’s going to text her and ask her out or whatever, declaring “I’m like a honey badger! No fear! NO FEAR!”  I wish him luck, give him his Frapuccino, and let him wander back to his room.

About 7am, here he is again. Same shirt, ordering his other usual. I tell him hello again, and he gives me this suspicious look before asking if he had already been in. I laughed, told him he was in a few hours ago, and if he didn’t remember being here, then he’d better check his texts. He does so while I make his drink, and he rushes off.

Kid came back the next night to tell me he and the girl got together, and I called him Honey Badger for the rest of the year. He actually brought friends in during my shift a few times to have me tell them the story.

If I Were a Boy...

If I were a boy, I would take off my shirt when ever I wanted where ever I wanted. If I were a boy, I could flirt with a girl and have it not come off weird, I could like a girl and not have it be a sin… If I were a boy I would never have that constant fear of what is going to happen to me just because I wanted to be myself. I wouldn’t be up late almost every night on a school night and pray that I could just have a flat chest like every other boy I know. Every other male, every other man. I would be a man. If I were a boy I could walk down the street and feel comfortable in my own skin and not worry about other people trying to figure out if I’m a girl or not. I could go use the restroom in public even if I was with my dad and he had to go too because you know what, I would be a boy. If I were a boy… most of all, if I were a boy, I would be one happy guy.

Mafia- Suho

“Things aren’t always as they seem, but the best part of this life.. is everything”

The music was beating through your chest as you danced with your friends. The club was packed tonight, probably because everyone knew that Suho, the leader of the most feared gang, was just released from being detained on a murder charge. All the girls came out to try to get with one of the members and all the guys came out to try to prove themselves to them. 

You, on the other hand were out because you simply wanted to be out. You were the leader of a cartel that put fear into the bodies everyone. You didn’t just go around killing people but you weren’t afraid to. 

Everyone who saw you thought that you were there to congratulate Suho. Rumors were going around that you two were a thing and that your gangs were going to combine but that was far from the truth. 

“Are you going to say hello to him” Your friend asked you while you danced together.

“Why would I want to do something like that? He can speak to me if he wants, I’m not kissing ass.” You defended, sipping from your cup

“It’s not kissing ass babe, it’s being respectful. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” 

You stopped dancing and leaned in to whisper to her, “The problem with that statement is that he’s not either of those things.” You raised your eyebrows and gave her a little nod before walking away.

You got stares from everyone as the crowd parted for you. Girls wanted to be you and boys wanted to be with you. You threw your cup on the floor as you walked out of the club. You grabbed a cigarette from your bag and lit it, leaning back on the brick wall you tilted your head back and let the cold, rainy night air fill your nose before you blew out the smoke. 

You were relaxing until you heard a car pull up.


You continued to smoke with your head tilted back until you felt your cigarette being pulled out of your mouth. 

Your eyes snapped open as you punch the person in the stomach and twisted their arm behind their back, pushing their front into the wall.

“Wow. I heard that you were a good fighter but I never expected you to be this good.” The man said. 

You pushed his arm further up his back, “Who are you?”

You heard a safety click on a gun being pulled back and the tip of it touch the back of your head.


“The question is who are you?” The man behind you said.

You went to respond but you were interrupted by slow clapping. Footsteps approached you and you sighed, pushing a little harder on the guy against the bricks. He grunted and the man behind you nudged your head a little harder with the gun.

“Now Y/n how about we stop this and you can come celebrate with me. You know you want to baby girl.” The man who was clapping said. 


“You have a club full of whores in there to celebrate with you.”

“Will you be one of them?”

Almost invisibly you let go of the man you had against the wall, kicked the man who had the gun to your head away from you, and got into Suho’s face. 

“I will never be your whore.” You spat while looking up into his eyes. 

The man with the gun scrambled to his feet and pointed the gun at you again but Suho held his hand up, telling him to stop.

Suho didn’t break eye contact when he reached into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, pulling out a cigarette and placing it in between your lips before lighting it. 

Not once did he break eye contact. 

“You could never be a whore, baby girl. You’re too precious for that.” He leaned and whispered before signalling his crew to follow him into the club. 

You watched as the door closed behind them. You inhaled the smoke from Suho’s cigarette and walked over to his car. You grab your signature red lipstick out of your bag and wrote on the hood of this car:

Thanks for the cig, babe. xoxo

You crumbled the cigarette and smeared it on the hood. 

Originally posted by kingjunmyeonn

Anon or not, go ahead and ask me shit!
  1. How many bruises on you right now?
  2. Is trust a big issue for you?
  3. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
  4. What are you excited for?
  5. What happened tonight?
  6. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
  7. Is confidence cute?
  8. What is the last beverage you had?
  9. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
  10. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
  11. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
  12. What are you going to spend money on next?
  13. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
  14. Are you in a good mood?
  15. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
  16. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
  17. Listening to?
  18. Who was the last person you danced with?
  19. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
  20. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
  21. Do you sing in the shower?
  22. Do you dance in the car?
  23. What do you wear to bed?
  24. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
  25. Can you curl your tongue?
  26. Who would you like to see in concert?
  27. Tea or coffee?
  28. Are you patient?
  29. DJ or band, at a wedding?
  30. Do you want to get married?
  31. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
  32. Can you commit to one person?
  33. What exactly are you wearing right now?
  34. How often do you listen to music?
  35. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
  36. Are you a social or an antisocial person
  37. ?Are you good at hiding your feelings?
  38. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
  39. Are you going out of town soon?
  40. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
  41. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
  42. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
  43. Does anyone hate you?
  44. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
  45. Are you a jealous person?
  46. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
  47. Did you have a dream last night?
  48. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
  49. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
  50. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
  51. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
  52. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
  53. What’s the best part about school?
  54. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? 

~Dance with the devil

Attention male writers, if it really scares you, the thought that fangirls may write gay porn of your TOTALLY HETEROSEXUAL MALE PROTAGONIST (who is secretly your wish fulfillment stand in) then never fear

I have a recipe that’ll just force the fangirls not to do it, are you ready?

-have more than like two female characters

-have them SAY things, ooooh

-have them have interesting and complex things to say, both explicitly and implicitly

-have them go through their own trials and develop like real people ALONGSIDE rather than because of, the male characters

-stop putting so much fucking emphasis on how important male friendships are unless you’re going to accept that that kind of dynamic is just irresistible to fangirls AND says something rather nasty about how guys aren’t complicated and girls just naturally are, so a guy’s “homies” just are so much more important than that chick you’re boning

-ALTERNATIVELY, let female characters be just friends and not just love interests/romantic sideplots. Seriously. Women aren’t just walking sex appeal? Wooooah, maybe real women will actually like them.

-and if none of the above things work, I have a backup, maybe a gay couple CANON. then maybe those devious insidious fangirls just might hone in on THAT, and leave your main character alone.

-that’s all I got, let me know how it goes.


Request: Hi love! Could you please do 1 and 18? Btw I love your blog!

Prompts: “Come over here and make me.” “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.” 

Imagine~ You walk in on your date kissing someone else and Kai helps you get revenge. 

Word Count: 1580

Today was the day, the day you’d go on the date with the guy you’d liked since high school. Every girl wanted him and here you were getting ready to go to the grill with him. 

You were nearly ready and now all you need was your lucky charm, it was a small ring that belonged to your grandmother. It was in the shape of a tiara and had a small diamond. 

If you didn’t wear it you felt down and you felt like you were out of luck but you didn’t wear it everywhere in fears you’d lose it or it’d be stolen. 

You opened the small box you kept it in to see it gone. A wave of panic washed over you as you wondered where on earth it’’d gone. 

“Looking for something?” you heard a voice say from behind you, you span around to see none other than Kai Parker behind you. 

“Kai, where is it?” you said through gritted teeth. You needed that ring and if he’d done anything to it you would kill him. 

“Why do you need it? Matter of fact I think it’d go quite well with my rings.” he said raising his hand glancing over his current rather bulky rings. 

“I’m going on a date for your information. Now give me the ring.” you said clearly irritated at the heretic. 

“Come over here and make me.” he smirked. You stood up swiftly approaching him as the smirk remained on his face. 

“I’m here, now give me the ring.” you said looking up at Kai. 

He reached into his back pocket, shoveling around in it before pulling out your beloved ring. “This one?” he said, acting oblivious. 

“Yes Kai, that one.” you said calmly in hopes he’ll give it back without argument but that wasn’t what happened. 

“What’s so special about it anyways? Does it make you feel like a princess?” Kai teased, his smirk turning into a playful grin. 

“Actually, it was my grandmothers. So give it back I have somewhere to be.” you said impatiently holding your hand out. 

Kai slipped the ring on your finger smirking, “There you go, your highness.” 

You rolled your eyes at his comment and approached the door, ready to leave in hopes Kai would take that as an invitation to go home. 

Kai followed you out the door and you unlocked your car. You hoped Kai would just walk home but that’s not what he had planned. 

As you sat in your car, checking you looked good for about the thousandth time, the car door on the passenger side opened and Kai plopped himself down on the seat. 

He grinned widely at you as you looked over at him in confusion. “What are you doing in my car?” you said as he looked at you intently. 

“I’ve decided to come on that date with you. Just want to make sure there’s no funny business.” he said putting his seat belt on. 

“Whatever.” you said rolling your eyes, you really couldn’t be bothered to argue plus he wouldn’t take in anything you say anyways. 

After a while of silence you arrived at the grill, nerves bubbled within you at the thought of the boy. 

You stepped out of the car, adjusting your hair and with that you entered the grill. 

Your eyes scanned over the grill until the landed on your date. 

Your date who’s lips were connected with someone else. Tears pricked at your eyes at the sight and you fled from the grill. 

But as you did you walked straight into Kai who had taken slightly longer to get out the car than you had. 

He looked down at you and saw the tears brimming in your eyes and he wasn’t sure what to do. Anger washed over him but so did concern. He didn’t know what to deal with first, you or him. 

“What happened?” he asked, concern glazing his eyes. 

“He was kissing somebody else.” you said sadly as your heart pounded. You fell into Kai as tears slipped down your face. 

Anger washed over him. “Please let me kill him.” Kai said through gritted teeth as he embraced you. 

You laughed lightly but it not coming out as cheerful as you’d hoped. “Kai you can’t kill him.” 

He rolled his eyes as he peered into the grill looking for the guy. “Can we at least give him a taste of his own medicine.” he said. 

You looked up at him, confused as to what he meant and also confused to why he cared so much. 

“What does that mean? And also why do you care so much?” you said, your eyebrows scrunched together but your mouth had a small smile. 

“It means that we go in pretending to be a couple and act all lovey dovey or whatever couples do nowadays. And I care because nobody deserves to have that pulled on them.” he said as he continued to peer into the grill. 

A small smile played on your lips and you wiped your tears from your face. “Awh, thanks Kai.” you said smiling. 

“So what do you say?” he said looking down at you. 

“You do realize he’ll beat your ass.” you said with a giggle, it was true the guy most likely would. 

“And I’m a heretic who’s most probably a thousand times stronger than him. So I’ll ask again, you in?” he grinned. 

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.” you sighed as you laced your fingers with his. 

Both of you entered the grill, hand in hand acting as if you were completely in love. 

You sat down at the bar and ordered a drink before glancing over at your date. The girl he’d been kissing was currently sitting a few tables away from him and he sat there alone. 

As you stared he saw you sitting at the bar and you quickly turned your attention to Kai hoping he hadn’t seen you staring. 

“He’s coming.” you mumbled to Kai who turned around to see the boy walking towards you slowly. 

“Kiss me.” Kai said quickly as you gave him a confused look. “Hey, if we’re gonna do this may as well make it believable.” 

You rolled your eyes and pressed your lips against his. Butterflies swarmed your stomach and you could almost feel sparks. 

“Y/N? What the hell?” you heard a voice say making you pull apart. A smirk was plastered on Kai’s face as you both turned to your date. 

“I…” you started but you were cut off by Kai, “I’m Kai, Y/N’s date.” Kai said smirking. 

“Excuse me? I’m Y/N’s date.” he said, looking down at disgust. 

“Oh really, I thought that girl over there was, considering you had your tongues down each others throat.” Kai said, his face showing signs of disgust before resuming his cocky grin. 

“Fuck you.” the guy said as he landed a punch on Kai’s jaw making you gasp. Kai laughed lightly, clicking his jaw back into place before looking back at the boy. 

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” Kai laughed as he raised his hand as the guy dropped to his knees gripping his head. 

“Kai.” you said sternly as you glanced over at the people who surrounded you. 

“Yes princess.” Kai said grinning, clearly reveling in the pain he was putting out there. 

“Stop.” you said as people began to look over at the scene Kai had created. You gave them a small smile acting as if nothing was happening. 

Kai put his hand down and the man stopped gripping his head in agony. “Next time make sure you know what you’re dealing with.” Kai said smiling. 

Your date quickly fled, running out of the grill, leaving you and Kai. 

“Was that really necessary?” you questioned, looking over at the grinning heretic. 

“Yes, nobody messes with you like that and expects to get away with it.” Kai said smiling lowly at you. 

You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips. “Thanks I guess.” you said as you took a sip of the drink the bartender had just set in front of you. 

“Your welcome but it was actually just an excuse to kiss you.” Kai said smirking as he looked over the grill. “Whilst we’re talking about kissing, your a really good kisser.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him but he didn’t seem to notice. “Really?” you giggled. 

“Mhm.” he said glancing over to you. “Mind if I get another?” 

You looked at him in surprise, was he being serious or? 

“In your dreams Parker.” you said as you stood up preparing to leave and get a good nights sleep. 

“I like to chase my dreams.” Kai said grabbing your wrist, spinning you around before smashing his lips onto yours.

Fireworks went off and your eyes fluttered shut. Maybe your date kissing another girl wasn’t such a bad thing. 

(a/n) thank you @alog3 for asking for this. I have no idea if this is what you wanted but I wasn’t sure what to write for this :) hope you liked it <3

G dragon Scenario #57 “Gf fainting on stage” REQUEST

Note: This gifs are not mine, all the credit to the owner.

“Are you ok?” a guy of the staff asked you. You looked pale and your forehead was covered in sweat. “Yeah” you answered with a fake smile cause the truth is that you weren’t feeling good.

“Alright” you could tell that he doesn’t believe you but the concert was about to start so there’s nothing to do at this point.

“GO GO GO!” a girl yelled at all of you, moving her hand. That was the signal for your group to go on stage.

You were feeling kinda weird as you walked in but as soon as you saw the audience an honest smile showed on your face. You love to be on stage, it’s where you belong. Is the place where you feel like yourself, without fears and worries.

The fans started to scream along with the sound of the song starting.

Luckily for you the part where you have to sing is at the very beginning, so everything went fine. But right after the first chorus finish you felt dizzy and everything around you appeared bright and blurry. You tried to keep dancing, and the moves, surprisingly, were coming out naturally, your whole body knows this choreography by heart thanks to all the hours you spent practicing. Any of you could do it even blindfolded… that’s how much passion you feel for what you do, for your music, your group and mostly your fans.

For a little while you were doing so good, but eventually, and as the song was near to the end you couldn’t keep going. At some point the dizziness was getting unbearable, and the next thing you know, is that you were on the floor surrounded by your members and some people from the staff.

“… take her out…” that’s the only thing your brain was able to understand. Anything else was just noise, words without meaning, and faces without names just shadows and lights. And then everything was black.

“Hey…” the sound of the voice of your leader wakes you up “… how are you?”

“What happened?” you were so confused and your head hurts. “You fainted…” she looked worried. You guys are more than just members, you are like a family.

Your hand went to the part of your head that hurts the most.

“… and you hit your head” she explains to you.

“But… the concert?” little pieces of memories started to appear in your head, like short scenes of a movie inside your head. The audience, the lights, the ambulance and then nothing.

“Don’t worry about it” she took her phone out, and starts to tap on the screen.

How can you not worry about it? You were feeling so guilty with them, with your members, and also with your fans.

“Here” she gives you her phone. “What?”

“Talk to him”

The person who came to your mind immediately was your manager. You were sure that he was going to be so mad at you.

You looked at your member like begging her for mercy. You really didn’t want to talk to him.

“Come on” she says, pointing at the phone.

You took a deep breathe before you talked, just preparing yourself to hear his screams… “Hello?”

“Are you for real?!” Ji yong´s voice sounds angry. “Ji yong?” you were so surprised to hear him. “What were you thinking?!…” his voice feels like a drill in your head “…didn’t they tell you to take the medicine?!”

“I know” suddenly you felt like a little kid. Ji yong didn’t say anything, so you kept talking “It’s just that… well, you know… it makes me feel tired all the time and I hate that feeling” that medicine makes you feel so drugged out, is insane. It just take a couple of minutes to see the effects.

“And that’s a reason to put your health in danger?!” he was beyond mad now. Normally you would be screaming along with him now, angry for the way he is talking to you but he was right this time, and you know it so you just stayed quiet.

“Look I know you hate it, but you need it, so please don’t ever do that again, ok?” his voice sounds more calm now, which was something that your headache appreciated.

“I won´t” you were being honest. “Alright…” you heard him sighing “… I’ll see you tomorrow”

You totally forgot about it. You were returning to Korea the next day. “Yeah”

“Call me when you get to the airport… I’ll pick you up” his voice was at a normal tone yet he still sounds angry. “I will” you were sad to hear him like that but there’s nothing you could do about it… he was right.

“Ok… see you then” he says. “Are you mad at me?” you asked him before he could hang up.

“Of course I am” and then he hung up.

That morning you were able to leave the hospital and on the next day all of you were taking your flight back to Korea.

You were so nervous to see him, you didn’t know how he was going to react once he sees you.

Would he be still mad at you?…

You got to the parking where his car was waiting for you. If he could he would had been waiting for you inside the airport but your fans and media were there, and your relationship isn’t a thing he would like to show just like that. Is not that is a secret, by now everyone knows about it but that doesn’t mean that he likes to show his affection and love towards you in public. Just because he likes to have that for him.

As soon as he saw you he walked out of the car and goes to help you with your luggage. You can tell he was still angry. This coldness wasn’t normal.

“Hi” you said shy as he put the luggage in the trunk. “Hi” he answered back and both went inside the car. “Look, I know you are…”

“Let’s not talk about it” he says, cutting you off.

After a few minutes of silence he finally says “I missed you”

“Doesn’t seem like it” you were sad. “I was worried, I was mad that you were not fine and I was so far” as soon as he heard the news about you fainted on stage he went insane, trying to contact with someone cause your phone was dead. Ji yong felt so frustrated and miserable, he wasn’t able to do anything.

“I’m sorry”you said and his hand went to your thigh, letting you know that he isn’t mad anymore.

You got to his house and as soon as you arrive you went directly to his room. You two were lying on the bed, side by side, and each one looking up to the ceiling.

You were so tired that day… it has been such a long weeks.

“Are you ok?” Ji yong asked you, turning his face to see you. “I told you already… it was nothing”

No, it wasn’t, you fainted and hurt yourself.

“You look tired” he doesn’t want to start an argument, especially now that you two are finally together.

“Just a little” you lied because you didn’t want him to tell you to sleep. It was the first time in a long time since that you spend time with him so you wanted to get the best out of each second.

“Really?…” he doesn’t believe you “… it was a long flight, you should get some rest don’t you think?”

You turned yourself, and moved until your upper body was laying on his chest.

“I’ve waited too long for this… I won’t sleep” you said. Ji yong brushed out your hair from your face with his fingers as his eyes kept eye contact with yours all the time.

“You are so gorgeous” Ji yong keeps caressing your face and hair. You absolutely hate when he says things like that, and he knows that, he is teasing you on purpose. “After a long flight that’s the lie I wanted to hear” you smiled and kissed his lips. Just a peck, but after you break it Ji yong’s hand went to the back of your head pulling you to meet his lips again, but in a deeper kiss now, that lasted a pretty long time.

“I missed this” you said after breaking the kiss. “Me too” Ji yong lifts his head to kiss you one more time. It seems like he really did miss you… or at least, he missed the feel of your lips on his. Because every time you tried to breathe and move away, he kept kissing you, not allowing you to move away to him.

The kiss kept its rhythm all the time, it was a slow but deep kind of kiss. 

“Mmm…” you broke it again. Resting your head on his chest, and closing your eyes automatically.

“You should sleep” he says with his hand on your back, hugging you tightly.

“I’m not that tired” you say but with an already sleepy tone in your voice. “Little liar” he made a move and now your back is on the bed and he’s on top of you. “I’m not” your hand went and caressed his face.

“Babe you really need to sleep” his eyes were gleaming. “I don’t want to” and you really don’t. But your body wants.

“Why are you so stubborn?” he was smiling, tucking your hair behind your ear, making you smile after feeling his soft touch on your skin, and then he held your chin with his index finger and lifted it to kiss you again.

You missed being with him, the way he treats you, and how he always finds the way to make you feel his love for you…

Even at this moment, this plane moment, just the two of you lying on the bed and kissing each other, you felt so grateful for having him… for being the owner of his lips, of his heart.

“Are you still there?” he said, moving his lips away from yours after you weren’t kissing him back anymore. “Still here” you said, trying to open your eyes, but it turned out to be impossible for you to keep them open. Ji yong stared at you, taking in every detail of your face, smiling at how beautiful you are.

“Stop it” you said with your eyes still close, cause even like that, his gaze seems to pierce your eyelids.

Ji yong started to laugh quietly while you were slowly opening your eyes “What?” you asked. He was still looking at you. “Nothing” his gaze was a lot steadier than your heartbeat… which was pumping like crazy inside your chest.

“Don’t you dare scaring me like that ever again”

anonymous asked:

Hi April, I hope you dont mind my asking, but Im becoming increasingly worried by the way the case is being presented by his team in the press. Do you think there is any way by a 'we decide your image' clause that they can make Louis plead guilty and give him a lawyer who doesnt present the video of what happened to the DA/court? Theyre working very hard at presenting an image of violent to women, unhinged guy; the girl Im sure is being told what to say. Guilty makes him Chris Brown to the GP.

With all due respect, anon, are you enjoying jumping to the worst conclusions? Because if you are, please keep going with it, but I honestly think it’s exhausting and 90% of why I’m barely around here anymore. I get that we all have emotional reactions to Louis being portrayed poorly. We don’t know 90% of what’s going on, and some people are filling that with all their worst fears. And tumblr acts as an echo chamber to reinforce that. But I think when you take a step back, you can see that Louis is not being presented nearly as badly as tumblr is imagining. I personally disagree that his team is “presenting” his image poorly to the press. The only negative outlets have been the Sun and somewhat TMZ. The Sun needs no motivation to be awful and people know what the Sun is about. TMZ is doing him a favor, in my opinion. I think we all need to be a bit more objective about things and try to understand that actual effect of what’s being said rather than reading things in the most negative light. I am pretty sure that that girl doesn’t need to be told what to say – she’s an entitled stalker with no ability to understand how she’s presenting herself and how utterly unbelievable and distasteful she’s coming across. People aren’t supporting her. And Louis’ team shutting her up would look way worse – it would look like he had something to hide. No one in the public is reading this as Chris Brown, for pete’s sake.

Legally, there haven’t even been any charges. The prosecutor is not going to limit itself to the evidence that Louis team (which would be committing malpractice if it didn’t mention the tape if somehow the prosecutor had magically overlooked it) urges them to review. And even if Louis ends up pleading guilty to this or a lesser charge, it’s not going to ruin his life.

I initially wasn’t going to post this ask at all, because I think it’s overwrought conclusion-jumping at its worst. You’re phrasing everything nicely and being polite, but that’s even worse that someone hatefully throwing accusations around. It means that this is where the fandom is now – always seeing the worst, hating everything, blind to the perspective of anything outside the tumblr negativity-spiral. And that’s exhausting. And disappointing. I’ve posted just a few times in the last week and some of those posts have generated very nice comments that basically distill down to being a “voice of reason” or “level-headed” or something. Can’t we all be the voice of reason? Can’t we all try to be a bit more objective? I get that we need to work through emotions, but I feel like we never get beyond that. And for many people that makes this a very unpleasant place to be.