fear to lose

mistystarshine  asked:

Never apologize for talking about Amon or Seidou. Given half a chance, I will ramble endlessly into people's inboxes about that trio and how they balance each other out(and swiftly self-destruct on their own slash without certain personality types. Then you add in the emotional background/familiarity factor and you get some very specific criteria to find people to meet.).

If you want to add something to my inbox or my post you’re free too. 

I think the main struggle between the three is that they all want to be acknowledged by each other, to stand on equal grounds, when before that point they were merely co-workers, some higher ranked, some lower. 

Takizawa wants to be acknowledge by Akira but he fears her rejection, so he always runs away first. Akira acknowledges Takizawa but she fears losing him, so she’s comfortable maintaining their relationship at a distance. Amon wants to be on equal ground with both Akira and Takizawa and relate to them as people, but Amon himself struggles with the concept of seeing himself as a person. He’s a vestige of justice, he’s a purpose, he’s somebody who needed a reason to survive. Thus he tends to be above others and hard to reach.

They all want right now a return to their old days, thinking those are the happiest days of all. All three of them, even Seidou want that, but the point is that is an empty desire. Not only is it impossible, but those days weren’t even that happy to begin with. They only ever knew each other as coworkers who socialized outside of work, who clung onto those relationships as the most important ones in their lives because they really did not have much else going on in their lives. The one optimistic note though is that even having lost the convenient structure of the CCG that allowed them all to continue to be together, they now all have the freedom to renew a much deeper, and more real friendship than anything they had previously. 

Houji’s included in this picture too and for good reason, Houji too had a choice between acting as a good CCG officer or a good mentor who cared about Takizawa, but even though it was a difficult choice for him to make he still chose the CCG over Takizawa. Amon, Akira, Seidou they still have that choice to make, that is to live in the cage or break it. 

… everyone’s afraid of something. We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything.
—  Julian (Lord of Shadows - Cassandra Clare)

Creating a hostile environment for bigots requires social action. Don’t be afraid to state your opinion out of fear of losing engagement with other people.

Tag Game!!!

Hey hey, everybody! Guess what??? Actual cinnamon roll™ @hammerhead918 tagged me to do another fun thing! Let’s get started, shall we? 😁

A- age: 21

B- biggest fears: losing the ppl and idols I love, getting trapped in an elevator (which has happened once when I was 3 y/o and I’ve been traumatized ever since), not being able to live life and achieve my goals before I die (I’m not afraid to die, but dying before living does, ya know?), my eyelashes never growing back after compulsively ripping them out (having a bfrb is always a fun time 🙃)

C- current time: 11:16 pm as I’m typing this

D- drink you last had: minute-made lemonade

E- everyday starts with: GROSS STRECTCHING NOISES (and sobbing from waking up lol), listening to music, napping 2-3 hours later, rinse and repeat unless I have to go to work (then no naps, which explains why I’m always cranky)

F- favorite song: right now, it’s definitely “The Red House Of The Rising Sun” by W.A.S.P. Then again, I’m a huge slut for W.A.S.P. after rediscovering them after six very, very long years, so any song by them is my fave. It all depends on my mood.

G- ghosts, are they real?: of course they are! what kind of question is this? 😂😂😂

H- hometown: Frederick, Maryland. Please don’t come here. The ppl here are either old, high on heroin (the heroin is a really big issue), UGLY (I’m one of the few here that ain’t btw so that’s good), dumb, or they already have 5 kids before they hit 21. And, most importantly, there’s nothing to do. AT ALL. Downtown Frederick and Westview Promenade are really all we have that are exciting. It’s incredibly boring. Not sure why tourists like to visit this place 🤔🤔 (sorry for the rant, but this city fucking SUCKS lmao)

I- in love with: 50-60+ y/o rockstars old enough to be my grandad (and if I ever get the opportunity to fuck one of them I WOULD. idgaf), MUSIC, blerds (blerds are the coolest ppl I have ever met and it sucks we’re often shunned by our own community, but that’s a topic for a different day), fictional characters, the woman I see myself becoming in the next 5 years. She’s so beautiful and wise and strong and caring and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable around others and I can’t wait to be her! She’s even wearing the best silk base wig ever crafted, like damn girl where have you been all my life??? 😍😍😍 (future!Me is probably looking back on this thru a memory and shaking her damn head and laughing. She hasn’t lost her sense of humor and that’s good.)

J- jealous of: ppl younger than me being able to live their lives

K- killed someone: not yet, but I do kill ppl with kindness.

L- last time you cried: earlier today. I was listening to The Neon God albums (also by W.A.S.P.) for the 50th time this week (it’s amazing ok) and the more I listen to it, the more Jesse’s (the main protagonist of the story/album) longing need for human love and validation gets to me. It’s such a beautiful story and I highly, HIGHLY recommend all of my followers to check it out. And also the band because they’re seriously underrated

M- middle name: Keanda

N- number of siblings: 8 that I know about

O- one wish: to go back to the 80s and see all my favorite bands preform live

P- person you called or texted last: my dad

Q- questions you are always asked: “Is that your real hair?” “Is that a wig?” “Why do you always wear wigs?” “How do you say your name?” “Wear are you from?” “Do you have kids?” “Why don’t you want to have kids?” “Are you in school/college?” “Are you married?” “DOES THE CHIP READER WORK?”

R- reasons to smile: the dceu, the chance of a world tour coming to the U.S./a state near you (*cough* Re-idolized *cough* 🐸🍵), DOGS (especially my dog), seeing other ppl happy/passionate about the things they love, Mick Mars existing on earth (he’s from Mars and yet he chose to be here with us *sniffles* I love you soft guitar dad™), Blackie Lawless in general, video games and beautiful dudes with long hair👌

S- song you last sang: “Pour Some Sugar On Me” by Def Leppard 😂😂😂

T- time you last woke up: noon (still way too early for me tbh)

U- underwear color: grey

V- vacation destination: Italy, Greece and France. Oh, and if anyone has a time machine I can borrow if definitely go back to 1980’s L.A.

W- worst habit: rocking in bed (i’ve been doing that shit for 18 years and I can’t stop), hair pulling/picking, going from super social to super distant without warning, being angry at the world for something the world itself has no control over

X- any x-rays: no, but I’ve always wanted to break a bone for funsies™

Y- your favorite food: ICE CREAM!!!

Z- zodiac: aquarius

This took WAY LONGER than expected! But I still had a ton of fun doing this! Gonna tag @xxakatsukifangirlxx @arnold-layne @rocknroll-n-shit @bathory-babe @youth-gone @sscarley @do-sixx-not-heroin @nietzxhe @ladyredlipclassic @myst-l-vie @psycho-moose-sammy @ride-the-storm @leodreamer94 @novocainelaced @ifishouldvanish @a-little-squirrely-sunshine and anyone else that feels like doing this 😁😁

@gatsca

 it is too much, and obscene is such a good word to describe it. like, there’s something viscerally revolting about it, but also from a storytelling perspective, it just sorts of… brushes over so many aspects of Casca’s character? i understand that for her, as a woman inhabiting a misogynistic culture and who participated in male-dominated pursuits and bested many men at what they considered their domain, and who was constantly the victim of sexual assaults, it’s realistic she would be afraid of all what miura is telling us she’s afraid of, but also, Casca definitely has other fears? of losing her sense of self? of losing the people she held dear? of never being of consequence, or significance, or worth? i feel like portraying it as all dicks cheapens so much of Casca’s pre-eclipse character arc, and i’m majorly upset by it.

weepingsimmer  asked:

TAG. YOU'RE IT. The rules are to state 5 random facts about yourself. Then go to ten favorite blogs and tell them they are it!

omfg……….. sarah…. y

- i have a collection of old comics worth at least $5,000
- i named my cat v after the character from v for vendetta
- i have a fear of losing my teeth…. idk why
- my favorite video game of all time is maximo vs army of zin for ps2
- i often find myself watching the jeremy kyle show and kitchen nightmares at 1 in the morning….

although ed have messed up so much lately, i actually love the fact that even though rob and aaron seem to be on good terms, there’s still that underlying tension present where there’s still so many things which have been unspoken, which keeps the sl sort of consistent (in the sense that even though aaron has forgiven robert, they’ve still got a lot to work through). aaron’s insecurities are so evident and robert’s fear of losing aaron is showing as well; especially through his constant desire to disassociate himself with the baby and back away. the fact that their actions address their fears makes the situation more believable, i guess. i wish there wouldn’t have been this situation in the first place but their emotions, i believe, will lead to a more intense breakdown of some sort where they both express what they’re feeling in a clearer manner (probably when robert finds out the baby isn’t his 😌)

8th/12th* House: Fears and Anxieties
  • *Planets are in regard to what is in your 8th or 12th house!
  • Aries: Fear of Pain / Physical Intimacy.
  • Taurus: Fear of not meeting standards. Lots of eating disorders lie here (especially when dealing with 12th house).
  • Gemini: Social Anxiety.
  • Cancer: Fear of Emotional Intimacy.
  • Leo: Stage Fright.
  • Virgo: Fear of Doctors/Hospitals. May also have fear of Physical Intimacy.
  • Libra: Relationship Anxiety. Fear of losing their morals.
  • Scorpio: Paranoia, and even Schizophrenia in 12th. (However, this just points to a possibility, and is in no way a definite. It would just "up the possibility" of having it, not unalike to the genetic trace).
  • Sagittarius: Fear of Commitment. Fear of Restriction.
  • Capricorn: Fear of Emotional Intimacy. Fear of Poverty. Fear of those in Authority. (Which often drives them to be wildly successful!) (Last is more 8th-Specific)
  • Aquarius: Fear of Loneliness. Self-Doubt. Fear of not leaving an impact. Fear of, in their own minds, being "worthless".
  • Pisces: Fear of "Loss of Innocence". (Usually these people are scared of Physical Intimacy, Gore, and other "demoralizing" things).
  • Sun: Stage Fright.
  • Moon: Fear of Emotional Intimacy.
  • Mercury: Social Anxiety.
  • Venus: Relationship Anxiety.
  • Mars: General Anxiety.
  • Jupiter: Fear of losing something, anything / Fear of missing something once disposed of.
  • Saturn: Chronic Anxiety.
  • Uranus: General Anxiety.
  • Neptune: Paranoia/Anxiety. Often more geared towards creating the Worst Case Scenario.
  • Pluto: Paranoia.
6

“In his backpack, there are a dozen notebooks that compose the scattered memories dating back to as far as he can remember which somewhat piece together a scattered life. In a similar way to Alzheimer’s, he’s written things down, for fear of losing his memory again. He was prepared, were something to happen, to walk away with nothing but that backpack, which is why it’s the only thing he takes and knowing full well that not everything those pages contain is pretty.” - Sebastian Stan

Saturn in the Houses: our deepest fears

Saturn in the 1st- fear of not being enough, not strong or bright enough, fear that others will not know who you are. fear of losing your essence
Saturn in the 2nd- fear of losing what you cherish the most & fear of losing touch with reality. fear of insecurity, instability and inconsistency
Saturn in the 3rd- fear of not being able to move, explore, live. fear of being idle, silenced and alone. fear of not having contact with others
Saturn in the 4th- fear of being unloved and of not belonging anywhere. fear of being utterly alone, emotionally. fear of not having a safe space to go to 
Saturn in the 5th- fear of not being able to create, dance, write, sing. fear of having your talents overlooked, fear of not being original enough.
Saturn in the 6th- fear of the unexpected, uncontrolled, untested. fear of losing your daily routine. fear of imperfection, low standards, degradation
Saturn in the 7th- fear of being alone, fear of unsafe relationships. fear of rejection, never settling down, being incomplete, not finding your soulmate
Saturn in the 8th- fear of letting go of control, opening up, giving in. fear of sharing too much, too soon, too recklessly. fear of (superficial) intimacy 
Saturn in the 9th- fear of having wrong beliefs, values or morals. fear of not asking the right questions, or not questioning things enough
Saturn in the 10th- fear of disappointing others. fear of not keeping up with your responsibilities and duties. fear of being powerless and invisible
Saturn in the 11th- fear of failing humanity. fear of having all your dreams and aspirations remain unrealized. fear of not fitting in, of being ostracized 
Saturn in the 12th- fear of exposure, confrontational situations, being out in the open. fear of disappearing into oblivion, fear of being nothing
-crystal melbourne | within the zodiac | “where’s my saturn?”