a/n: it’s here! finally! thankyou to everyone who has waited for the longest time for this, and for admin peach for putting up with my crap and reminding me to get a move on, i hope i don’t disappoint any of you and i appreciate you all so much ~ blue
The nightmares didn’t come back.
The feeling of his
strong arms wrapped around your shoulders was enough to stifle the bad thoughts
– no, more than that. He had transitioned almost seamlessly from the source of
your fear to the cure to it.
And that was
definitely not a good thing.
You felt him pull away
the sheets from where they were wrapped around your body, grumbling but careful
not to disturb you. It was well into the early hours, but as you felt the mattress
sink under his weight, you were glad to be awake to feel his warmth against
your skin, his cologne a now familiar scent. You turned over to face him,
finding his dark eyes ringed and tired, but still open, focused on you with an
unfathomable expression. In the dimly lit room, the shadows thrown carelessly
over his features made it impossible to read his face. Slowly, he raised a hand
to gently stroke your hair. He used such a feather light touch, as if he
thought you may break at any second.
You frowned. “What’s
He shook his head. “This is wrong, (y/n). A girl like you
shouldn’t be in bed with a guy like me.”
He made it sound as
if… You banished such thoughts from your mind. “I feel safe with you,
He sighed. “I know.”
Then, hesitating, “I’m not a good man (y/n).”
You were tired. “So
you keep telling me.”
He didn’t smile.
“Because you don’t seem to get it.” He removed his hand from your hair,
propping himself up and resting a cheek in the palm of his hand. “Do you know
what extortion is, (y/n)? Or gambling?”
You exhaled tiredly,
shaking and nodding your head at once. He didn’t stop, voice raising beyond a
whisper. “Care to know where I’ve been? Where I go? Or do you not like to think
about that? Do you like to pretend I’m some good guy, your personal superhero?”
You sighed. “You’re
It was his turn to
sigh, frowning down at you. “What I’m trying to say is, don’t tell me I didn’t
warn you.” You couldn’t quite tell, but you were almost sure his eyes were
dull, lacking life. “You’re a daisy, (y/n), pure, white, untainted, but every
time you lie in my arms, I stain your petals a little more. You don’t want
that.” His tone was almost pleading. “You should be running screaming from me,
(y/n). It’s not too late to run.”
You laid a hand on his
cool cheek, squinting to see his face. “I don’t care.”
You trailed your hand
down his neck, eventually tangling your fingers in the worn fabric of his shirt.
“If you won’t hold me,” You wrapped your arms and legs around his body, causing
his breath to hitch, and laid your head at the hollow of his throat. “-then
I’ll hold you.”
muscles relaxed, arms gripping your torso and head buried in your fluffy hair.
Whatever he words he whispered there were lost, as you felt waves of sleep
crash over you, limbs tangled up with his.
You knew it was
dangerous, and so very selfish, to need him like this, yet you found that you
craved how he would sometimes hold you like delicate china, sometimes clutch
you as if you were oxygen and he was suffocating.
Perhaps you were going
crazy, but perhaps he already was.
It was the first time
you had woken in his embrace. The morning sunlight filtered into the room,
gently illuminating your surroundings. You yawned sleepily, blinking slowly and
feeling a weight over your body.
You had fallen asleep
holding him, but Jungkook was the one clutching you, arms locked around your
stomach, legs entangled with yours, and head resting on your chest. Your arms
were looped around his neck, and his dark hair spilled out over your skin, a
silky mess below your throat. You smiled slightly, tightening your arms around
him, noticing the way he burrowed his face further into the soft skin in his
You felt his warm
breath fan over your skin, and you wondered idly how such a young, vulnerable
looking creature could be in his situation.
Eventually, he began
to stir, sleepily opening one of his eyes and groaning. His voice was unusually
husky, earning a stifled giggle. “Stop fucking staring.”
“I can’t help it.
You felt his scowl
against your skin, before he unlocked his arms and suddenly he was above you,
hovering over you with messy hair and sleepy eyes. His hands were either side
of your shoulders, as he said in a low voice, “I want to take you with me
You locked eyes with
him. “Good. I like to be with you.”
He sent you a glare.
“I doubt you’ll like where I take you.” He sat up, thighs locked around your
hips for a minute, before sharply getting out of the bed and strolling towards
the door, throwing his words to you over his shoulder. “Get ready, we’ll leave
soon.” He turned back at the doorway, raising and eyebrow. “And, (y/n)?” You
nodded cautiously. “I wasn’t joking. You’re not
going to like this.”
With that, he was
You were ready fast,
stepping out of your room to find him waiting for you in the hall. Except, he
wasn’t alone. Behind him was an older looking boy with faded green hair, giving
you a searching glare. His body language wasn’t particularly threatening, the
way he lounged against the wall, but he intimidated you. Hoping the way you
inched ever closer to Jungkook was subtle, you stood so that he blocked the
stranger’s view of you, meeting a familiar pair of brown eyes as you
subconsciously fiddled with a loose thread on his shirt.
Jungkook half smiled
distractedly, placing a hand over yours and harshly yanking the thread, before
letting go and moving towards his room. “(y/n), I have to go get something real
quick.” You nodded reluctantly. “Yoongi?” He turned to the green haired boy,
who hummed, but didn’t tear his gaze from you. “Don’t fucking touch her.”
Once the door closed
behind him, the boy he had addressed as Yoongi began strolling lazily towards
you, a sneer twisting his face. “So, you fell for a bad guy, huh?”
You stiffened, backing
away. “You’re wrong.”
He snorted. “Don’t
bullshit me. I see how you are with him.” His face changed. “And I see how he
is with you. Bastard.” He paused. “I had a pet once too, (y/n). A pretty little
thing, who belonged to me.”
You flinched. “I’m not
He glared back.
“Whatever. I know he sleeps with you every night, I see how he tries to protect
you.” His eyes softened for a minute. “Even from himself. But,” The steely
glare returned, “-he can’t do that forever.” Bitterness tainted his features,
fresh and unforgotten. “Because, (y/n), one day I started caring too much, got
too attached, and do you know what happened to my girl?” He didn’t let you
reply, a kind of desperation ghosting over his words. “I see her in the way you
look at him. He thinks, just because you’re some blue-blooded princess that he can keep his little
pet. Well, you know what, (y/n)? I hope you don’t end up the way she did.” He
jerked his head towards the door. “And I hope he doesn’t end up like me.”
seconds later, standing protectively in front of you and glaring at Yoongi.
Raising his hands before him, palms up, and smirking without any real emotion,
the older boy sighed, sounding almost bored. “Just to let you know, Jeon, if I was
still at the top, you’d be screwed, and she’d be dead.”
“Well it’s just as well that you’re just some dog, right, Yoongi?” He flinched, only replying once he was halfway
down the corridor, with his back to you and Jungkook.
“Don’t forget, kid,
she’s theirs. Not yours.”
heavy breathing confirmed the vague, half-taunting tone to Yoongi’s words. “Come on.” He muttered, gripping your wrist
and leading you, trailing behind him, down a myriad of corridors and keypads,
until the cool morning air enveloped you, and you were outside.
Anger had stopped
rolling off of him by the time you reached the car, letting go of your wrist to
hold open the passenger door and leaning over you once you were inside to
buckle your seatbelt.
You waited until
outside of the window was just a blur, as you sped down the freeway, to ask
“Jungkook?” He hummed,
glancing at you. “What did he mean when he said still at the top?”
Jungkook cursed softly
under his breath, before sighing. “That guy. So, he’s Min Yoongi, and you know
the guy we saw a while back? Namjoon?” You nodded, reluctantly. “Yeah, well
that was Yoongi. Before he fucked up.” He hesitated. “He was a good leader.”
You raised your
eyebrows. “He must have been scary.”
You frowned. “He
fucked up, right? Was that because of his girlfriend?”
Jungkook eyed you
disapprovingly. “Don’t curse, (y/n).”
“It doesn’t suit you.”
He paused. “So he told you?”
You shrugged. “Kind
“He fell in love.”
Jungkook hesitated. “Only fools fall in love, at least, in our line of
The silence that
ensued was long, and uncomfortable, until, at last, you addressed him again.
“Jungkook?” He nodded,
murmuring distractedly in reply. “What’s your full name?”
He laughed, but after
hesitating, said, “Jeon Jungkook.”
You repeated it,
liking the way it fell from your lips. “Jeon Jungkook, how old are you?”
He chuckled again.
“You ask too many questions.” He paused. “But, I’m older than you.”
You groaned, throwing
your head back in frustration. “You know everything about me, but I can’t even
know how old you are?”
He was smiling – a
pure smile, not a distant tug of the corner of his mouth, nor a sinful smirk.
He was just smiling. “Yeah.” His smile
faltered a little. “I’m not the type of person you’d want to know more about,
(y/n), so there’s no point.”
You half glared at
him. “Why?” He gave you an incredulous glance, and you sighed. “Even though
you…” You trailed off, not wanting to put words to the unpleasant thoughts you
were trying to push away, “You’re still a
person.” The smile was completely gone now, his hands clenching the
steering wheel, and his jaw set.
“You’re wrong.” Of
course you were. A heavy silence settled over the car, without respite,
stretching first an hour, and then two, then three… Until you blinked sleepily,
realizing you had fallen asleep, and found an evening darkness wrapped around
your surroundings, streetlamps flickering as he drove you through an unknown
You turned to face
Jungkook, who was glaring relentlessly at the road ahead. You seemed to startle
him a little when you said his name, but he didn’t turn to look at you, as his
voice came cold, detached. “We’re almost there.”
You swallowed. “Where are
He smirked. “To see
some old friends.” The way the word
friends rolled tauntingly from his lips, you doubted that he was feeling at
all friendly. You wanted to ask him more, make him tell you what he thought he
was doing, but you decided not to waste your breath. You could fire words at
him like bullets, but to them he would always be bulletproof, you knew this
from the way your pleads had deflected seamlessly from his stony exterior
before. Why would you waste your breath
trying to reason with a boy like Jeon Jungkook?
Or, perhaps, you were
just scared, terrified of the answers he may provide. So, you thought it better
to be blind, in the dark, as usual.
He hadn’t been lying
when he said you were close. You’d barely had a chance to gaze outside the
window at the rundown neighbourhood when he swerved into an alleyway, killing
the breaks and reaching for something under his seat. You blinked in horror as
the headlights abruptly shut off, leaving you to realize that, in the pitch
darkness, you had no idea what he was reaching for. You heard his door slam
without seeing him leave, and you wondered if you were supposed to stay in the
car. Apparently, you were not, as you felt the cold night air rush to greet you
as someone reached over you to unbuckle your seatbelt, sighing. “Just how
incapable are you?”
You stiffened. “In the
You heard him snort
softly, as he grabbed your arm. “Your eyes will adjust. But,” He began to pull
you after him, the darkness edging off slightly, “We’re almost out.”
You emerged seconds
later into a near-deserted street, the deadbeat town surrounding you
illuminated by flickering streetlamps and half-broken signs. He loosened his
grip on your arm until his hand encircled your wrist – not uncomfortably so, but
his hold on you was a reminder that you were his, to not step out of line. You struggled to match his pace as he
strode through what seemed to you a ghost town, until you began to hear the
distant hum of people.
You were approaching
what you took to be a restaurant, with a large sign bearing some foreign name
lit up with red bulbs, the majority of which were working. Almost without
thinking, you edged closer to him as you got nearer, until you reached the
door, and he dropped your wrist to hold the door open for you. You frowned, but
nodded as you entered, his hand finding the small of your back as he followed
you closely. You felt heat rush to your cheeks as people, from where they were
seated drinking or talking over untouched food, turned to stare at you.
Something, however, in the way that Jungkook looked at them, caused them to
sharply drag their eyes away, returning to whatever they were doing before.
Jungkook’s fingers dug in slightly to your back as he guided you through the
busy room, heavy with smoke and shouting.
You reached a table,
with two men sat talking to each other in low voices, seeming deep in
discussion, with eyebrows furrowed. For their ages, boys may have been a better
word to use, but they looked as if they carried such weight upon their
shoulders, that they couldn’t possibly be so young, a trait they shared with
Jeon Jungkook, who was currently pulling out a chair for you at their table
with his free hand, causing their heads to snap up and their words to abruptly
“Jungkook!” They greeted, smiling in a somewhat unfriendly
manner towards him as you sat down, eyeing them distrustfully. You glanced
behind you at Jungkook, whose smile didn’t reach his eyes, his mouth taking on
an almost sinister curve.
“It’s great to see you
both, I’m so pleased we could all get
together.” The three of them shared plastic smiles, but you felt the
tension radiating from them, as they took their seats around the small table.
Jungkook’s hand found your knee, eyes burning like a predator as he glared across
One of the men leaned
back in his seat, grinning lazily, but you saw his knuckles, white and
strained, as they clutched the corner of the tablecloth. “So,” He drew out his
words, “How is Bangtan these days?”
Jungkook’s jaw clenched and his fingertips dug into your knee. “You know, how’s
Yoongi?” He motioned to you,
carelessly, laughing. “Looks like you didn’t learn from his mistakes, Jeon.”
The other man, who was
glaring at you with his head tilted, cleared his throat. “Who is she, anyway?”
Jungkook bared his
teeth in a cruel imitation of a smile. “Oh, how could I forget? Meet my girlfriend, (Y/N).” You saw their eyes
widen and then narrow as they looked at you with interest. They recognised you
from your name, you could tell, but you were more preoccupied by the fact that
Jeon Jungkook had introduced you as his girlfriend.
He had stolen you as if you were someone’s property and he was a thief, he kept you like a pet, no,
less a pet than a nuisance, he had taken your freedom and then decided that
he had the right to ignore you, be irritated by you and, worst of all, make
you want to be around him. What kind
of sick game did he think he was playing?
You were so lost in
your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed their conversation progress, hadn’t acknowledged
the food arrive to lie untouched. His
voice brought you back to reality, an illusion of sweetness which stung your
ears. “You’re not hungry, darling?”
He was the picture of concern but his brown eyes were laughing at you. You
shook your head, trying not to frown at him. “So,” He continued, though not to
you, “What about our deal?”
Across the table, you
saw the falter in the façade of being blasé and unaffected. “That?” You heard
the slight raise in pitch, noticed the note of panic creep into his eyes.
Jungkook’s own orbs
were dark, and his black hair fell over his forehead as he nodded. “Yeah. That.”
The other man
swallowed, and he tripped over his words. “C-come on, Jeon, that was a long time ago, a lot’s happened since
then, I’m sure –”
“We don’t forget. Now,”
He turned to glance at you as he reached into his waistband for something. To
you, he whispered, “Close your eyes.”
You didn’t question
him. But eyes squeezed shut and hands slammed over your ears couldn’t muffle
the gunshots. You let him grab you by the arm and drag you along behind him,
but you couldn’t bring yourself to remove your hands from your ears. It was
only as you reached the doorway that you opened one eye and, despite Jungkook’s
murmured warning, looked back to face the restaurant, which was unchanged, as
if nothing had happened.
Except, in a pool of
red, slumped over a table at the back, were two young men.
Two familiar men.
Two dead men.
You let out a scream.
Sighing, Jungkook gently tugged your hair so you were facing forward, and
continued leading you down that damned street, with the flickering streetlamps
and the broken, seedy signs. What kind of neighbourhood was this? Where people
didn’t even bat an eyelid when…
You let out another
scream, stopping dead in the street and shutting your eyes again, pulling
against Jungkook as he tried to lead you on. “Stop being difficult.” He
grumbled. You heard him groan as tears became to accompany your screaming, and,
with your eyes shut, you began batting him away, flinching at his touch,
cowering from his words. “I’m sorry I had to be the one to break you, (Y/N).”
You didn’t stop trying to scream the memory away, but you were listening. “But
now you’re like us.” He gathered you up in his arms, ignoring your yelps and
flailing, and continued walking. “We’re all broken, (Y/N).”
By the time you
reached the alleyway again, your screams had subsided to whimpering, and your
grip on your ears was weak. You wanted to sleep forever and forget everything
that had happened. You wanted the Jungkook back that was innocent and sleepy,
that kept bad dreams at bay. But, you
reminded yourself for the hundredth time as he placed you gently in your seat
and did up the belt, he was always like this.
It was maybe minutes, maybe hours,
before you addressed him again. “Jungkook?” He nodded hesitantly. “Were they
“We’re all bad people, (Y/N).”
“What did they do?”
He half smiled. “It’s
more like what they didn’t do. They owed
us. A long, long time ago we called them brothers. Then they stepped out of
line, betrayed us. They didn’t want our second chances, they didn’t take us
seriously. But,” He stopped at a red light, glancing over at you. “It’s no big deal.” You could see him noting the
way your eyebrows drew together, deep in thought, and he sighed. “Stop trying
to justify what I did, no, what I do, to
yourself, (Y/N). This is the way we work. You’ll get used to it.”
You shook your head, wrapping
your arms around yourself but shivering all the same. It wasn’t cold, but you
noticed Jungkook switch the heating dial up, though he was supposedly staring
at the road ahead with deep concentration.
“Why am I your
girlfriend now?” The words came uninvited, and you cursed them, feeling your
cheeks heat up as you locked eyes with the floor. He chuckled humourlessly.
“Do you know what girlfriend and boyfriend do, (Y/N)?” You ignored him, turning an even deeper shade
of red. He smirked, almost lifelessly. “Come on, (Y/N), you know what kind of
things girlfriends and boyfriends do, don’t you?” You nodded, reluctantly. “Of
course. And are we like that? Do we do those things?” You shook your head,
disliking the way his tone was adding all kinds of meanings to his words. “And
have I ever forced myself onto you? Have
I ever asked you for anything you didn’t want to give me?”
You knew what he was
implying, and he was right, but you pouted. “Except fucking kidnapping me, no, not at all.”
He winced, and you
remembered that he disliked you cursing. “Boyfriends don’t kidnap their girlfriends,
smartass.” You begrudgingly nodded. “So, there’s your answer. Oh, and, (Y/N),
also,” he glared at the road ahead. “Girlfriend
would imply that I cared, that I had feelings towards you.” It was your turn
to wince. That stung a lot more than you cared to admit. “Don’t ever confuse
how things are with us.”
And yet, as the
purring of the car motor lulled you to sleep, you felt his familiar leather
jacket slip around your shoulders, and, in your confused state of half sleep,
you wondered how it could be true that he truly
didn’t care at all.
a/n: okay, it is here FINALLY it’s been like a month… i’ve had the WORST writers block with this idk why, well it wasn’t really writers block, like i wrote about ¾ of this about a month ago and then i decided i didn’t like it and then i wrote the rest today and i guess that’s why it’s so long… thankyou so much for reading this, and i’m going to make an effort to be much more active with this series and anything else you would like us to write, so if you have any suggestions for things you would like us to start doing, like reactions or anything, then make sure so send us a message about it! don’t be shy about bugging me if i’m taking a while with anything, as well, because i am the worst at procrastinating… anyway, it’s a little late, but consider this an easter gift from us! or a curse tbh what have i done with this series but be ready for part 5! i love you all, thankyou for appreciating our writing, because we sure as hell appreciate you
@churchgoinmule thank you <3 <3 <3 loving yourself is hard work and insecurity and fear don’t get cured that easily, but trying to refuse to let my behaviour be restrained by those feelings really enabled me to better access some things I really wanted to access (like deciding to move to London instead of doing the not-scary thing and staying in my hometown). Obviously that’s only a tiny bit of personal power that I’m still struggling to wield whilst within the restrains of being a soft-hearted squishy human vulnerable to most everything and being crushed under the brutalities of capitalism and the other systems that capitalism fundamentally relies on, but still. It is something. And even something small can be good, I think.
✨ This is Bedtime Bear, and I call him Bedsy 🌙 He was my very first Care Bear stuffie that I got ❤️ He has aqua blue fur and his Belly badge depicts a light blue crescent moon with a yellow star hanging from its top crest. 😊In the Adventures in Care-a-Lot series, Bedtime Bear is usually seen with a sleeping cap and slippers, and patrols the street of Care-a-Lot at night to make sure everyone is getting their required eight hours. ✨While this perpetually sleepy bear would prefer to be snug in his bed than anywhere else, he has an important job of insuring the restful slumber of littles and Care Bears alike. ✨Whether its helping someone overcome a fear of the dark, curing insomnia, or just plain being there, this dozy denizen of the night has made it his duty to make sure everyone gets a good night’s rest. 💜His belly badge gives him the extraordinary ability to freely enter and exit Dreamland and influence dreams directly, meaning nightmares don’t stand a chance. 🌙
@butterflyinthewell if i could, i’d step on the throat of autism speaks in my big ass heavy boots and tell them to shove their fear-mongering cure culture somewhere i’ll never have to look at it again
apologies if that’s a bit too violent//graphic !! autism speaks evokes fury in my little body.
thank you for the compliment!! i dig your activism too, you’re doing fantastic and important work for our community
Envy, jealousy, a lack of self-confidence, a feeling of insecurity, and a haunting sense of inferiority are all rooted in fear. We do not envy people and then fear them; first we fear them and subsequently we become jealous of them. Is there a cure for these annoying fears that pervert our personal lives? Yes, a deep and abiding commitment to the way of love.
How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits (written by Grace)
Alright ladies listen up, I don’t know about you but I am fed up with being the literal definition of a “basic bitch”. I have watched way too many videos and read a great deal of articles about being basic and I have had it up to here with having to painstakingly nod at 93% of points such as, leggings, margaritas, star signs, pointless wedding shows….etc (I think you get the gist).
If you get what I’m getting at then fear not! There is a cure for us all, I have recently discovered my holy grail, “How to be Parisian: Wherever you are”. This book (life guide more like) covers pretty much anything you could think of from the obvious factors of beauty and fashion, to boys, recipes, social etiquette and so on and so on… The four amazing French women who wrote this book have practically thought of everything, and whilst reading, you do get the vibe of reality. This isn’t meant to be some productive kick ass book, but it really gives you such a close up and untouched version of the reality of a modern French woman, who, after reading this book, I would love to be.
I definitely have some favourite articles/tips which I’m already using in my lifestyle choices. Some of my personal favourites are:
I feel like I might be the only one who pairs M!Corrin with Soleil. I get the concern around the Japanese translation, and the fear that it’s gay-curing, but honestly, I just enjoy her personality the most of any of the female characters. Happy-go-lucky, down to Earth and sassy; she’s great. And she’s also confirmed bisexual.
Biology teacher Gerald Crane believes his groundbreaking “fear toxin” will inoculate his son against fear.
High school biology teacher Gerald Crane sat down with the Chronicle to discuss a “fear toxin” he’s developing with his son that can eliminate all fears. “What we’re doing is for the common good. For humanity. We’re going to set mankind free from the prison of fear.”