fear my own identity

society has demonised lesbians for years. we’ve been sexualised. young lesbians have been forced to deny themselves for years because they’ve been taught that feeling no attraction towards men is unnatural and that lesbians are more of a porn category than real living breathing individuals. i called myself gay up until recently because the word lesbian dripped with the venom that people spat whenever it was mentioned around me as a child. i was straight up told by my best friend’s mother not to say the word lesbian as an 8 year old and it stuck with me now as an almost 20 year old. it has taken me years of self denial and fear of my own identity to even utter it to myself, let alone anyone else. the struggle that it has taken me and so many others to get to a place of comfort with our identity is the direct result of a negative image of lesbians perpetuated throughout history based on the sheer fact they have no desire to be with men in any capacity. the label encompasses something society has been unable to fathom and has thus rejected and treated as provocative and devious even today. to say that now that label is dynamic and bears no weight is so disrespectful and dismissive of the hardships people have endured to simply become comfortable with identifying as it. I’m so tired!!! Of these ridiculous debates!!!!

Tell Me Something That I’ll Forget.

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 11.5K+

Content: Bi!Lashton, polyamory (MFM dynamic), language, graphic content, sexual situations (anal sex, multiple partners, light spanking, orgasm denial, etc.)

A/N: I have returned and it feels so good to be back. This is something that I’ve been working on for quite some time, and it is notably different from what I’ve posted before. I had an idea of Chef Ashton and I’ve always wanted to explore polyamory within the bounds of fanfiction. This is what I came up with after about two months of messing around with it. Have an open mind if this is all new to you. Enjoy. :-)

Feedback is greatly appreciated

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☆ Girls Rule 


  1. Fancy - Iggy Azalea ft. Charli XCX
  2. This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Ray
  3. You’re Not The One - Sky Ferreira
  4. 23 - Miley Cyrus ft. Mike Will + Wiz Khalifa & Juicy J
  5. Superlove - Charli XCX
  6. Fear Of My Own Identity - Best Coast
  7. Sleepless Club- Lorde vs Flume
  8. Like The Wind - NONONO
  9. Obsession - Sky Ferreira
  10. Miss Movin’ On - Fifth Harmony
  11. Oh No! - Marina and The Diamonds
  12. How Ya Doin - Little Mix
  13. Bad Girls - M.I.A
  14. White Teeth Teens - Lorde
  15. Queen Of Disaster - Lana Del Ray

Han Chinese girl, tired of my identity used as a joke or a measurement as if “asianness” is something shameful and inherently embarrassing!!!! I am glad I no longer perceive whiteness as success and I’m no longer embarrassed of speaking Chinese in public or of my parents’ accents. I am so sick of being made an accessory to men who think I’m a fetish, I’m tired of being terrified for other Asian girls who will face the same things as me .

I will no longer let my fear of reclaiming my own identity hold me back from anything!!!!!!!! I love my culture