fear is temporary

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“I’m just surprised to see you cry.”

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i’ve been doing this for a while now, and thought it may be nice to share with you guys. i never really had trouble verbalising thoughts during discussions, but seldom have been a person able to express my emotions without shutting down completely. music, and especially the lyrics of songs, have always been my outlet, like the words spoken were either my own or the ones i wished i would get to say one day; the rhythm and beat a whole new dimension. my fear of the temporary (and fear of losing these songs) was the final push to start this journal. i began collecting lyrics from songs that either held meaning personally or conveyed emotions that fit a story, and have found that not only is this solidifying a memory but it has been therapeutic too. not sure if it would matter to any of you, but if you ever face similar difficulties then this may help.

imagine resistance pilots flying to their death, praying in their own languages “may the spirit of Bodhi Rook guide me to the other side”


and that’s what the imperial defectors pray too when they’re sent to reconditioning, knowing that any agency or real human thought they had would be gone after that, and that they’d basically be a lifeless body sent to fight

and there are force sensitive rebels, of course there are, the force is not just guided through the Skywalker and Kenobi lines, but very rarely do they know it, and very rarely are they strong enough to figure it out…but they reveal themselves in their own way. They’re the ones who see the spirits of the rogue five, they’re the ones who stare troopers in the mask and chant to themselves, guided by the soft voices of two old men “I am one with the force, the force is with me me” softly to themselves as they’re marched to their death. They’re the ones who find themselves alone in a cell with the monstrosity of the empire and his IT-O droid, who glare at him in fear and hatred, sure of their death, when they hear two voices, a man and a woman “rebellions are built on hope” and they find the courage to survive with dignity, they’re the ones who face loss and for some reason think “the strongest stars have hearts of kyber” and it’s out of place, it’s not something they would ever believe, and yet as they stand in mourning, it’s whispered to them in a comforting, yet foreign voice.


and they say the presence of spirits should feel cold, but the only cold they feel comes from the cell itself…oh, they feel warm, so warm, and so comforting, and so full of hope…


“Who are you talking to, rebel scum?” and the voice is pristine, and the Rs are rolled.
“The people who have brought your death.” they reply, glancing up. And it’s so unnerving, being able to feel what will happen to this place, being able to know that they’ll be here when it happens, but oh-it’s so satisfying to see the temporary fear on the officer standing next to him.


The worst is when Vader can hear them, hear the voices whispering to them, but not to him…only the muffled sounds of several people reassuring whoever’s within his grasp…and oh, the princess disturbs him, unnerves him, within the group, he swears, he can hear her, a queen from long ago, speaking to a princess at least a full meter shorter to him with hair and eyes and fury and-


it isn’t possible, the girl has the force, the girl is the right age, the girl is speaking to the spirits of people meant to guide her, they thought that the baby was a girl-


no, she can’t be…he wouldn’t, he would know-somehow…and the voices are so loud in her head, and the words muffled, and-

This path is a lonely path...

So don’t be surprised when a time comes when you become a stranger among people you thought were strangers like yourself.

The longer you remain on this blessed path, the more the people will see you as someone who baffles them because a person who chases this dunya will always find ambitions for the aakhirah strange.

This path is a lonely path.

You will never be understood. Not by your family nor by your friends. But you must remain firm, because this is the era of those who remain firm.

This path is a lonely path.

Because the lovers of the dunya have nothing to do with it. It is shunned by most, out of fear of losing the temporary while they don’t realise how they’re ruining their eternal life. It is not sought after except by those rare, few, blessed ones who seek the Face of Allah ﷻ more than anything this worthless world has to offer.

You will be mocked, misunderstood, considered a foreigner in your own homeland, considered a stranger amongst your own friends and family.

But

Know, O beloved, that you aren’t the only one who feels this staggering bite of loneliness, and you certainly aren’t the first.

This is the path, where Rasulullah ﷺ was rejected by his own family and tribe, the path where Yusuf عليه السلام was thrown into prison for a crime he never committed. And the examples are many.

Know, O beloved, that you have chosen this path knowing all the hardships, and so you must bear them with patience and walk upon this path with a smile on your faces. Because this is the path for which the Sahabah رضي الله عنهم gave their lives. This is the path of the few, blessed, chosen servants of Allah. So strive to be from amongst them.

——–

“The path of truth is solitary. Those who traverse it are lonely; they are not wanted, nor their aspiration. Leisurely do they travel, with resolution. Of what they seek, people are heedless, for, about the truth, most are careless.”

— Ibn Rajab al Hanbali, Journey of the Strangers, pg 37.

“This path is paved with torn-off limbs, irrigated with blood, surrounded by trials. Its tribulations and fitnah waylay you on this path. But as long as you know your goal, and the way is clear to your sight, pursue your journey whatever the case is.”

{Shaykh Abdullāh ‘Azzām تقبله الله}

Whovian Feminism Reviews “The Pyramid at the End of the World”

I was already not a huge fan of the Monks arc, and unfortunately, “The Pyramid at the End of the World” didn’t do much to redeem it for me. “Pyramid” is the awkward middle child of this three-episode arc that couldn’t quite bring all the various plot threads together. There are some rather unfortunate gaps and implausible details that make it hard to get invested in this story. And the way the Monks manipulate consent to take over the Earth was confusing, contradictory, and disturbing.

Although this episode had a simple goal – get from the simulated invasion to the real invasion – it kept getting bogged down in its own red herrings. Any tension I might have felt watching the negotiations, conflicts, and ultimate peacekeeping between the Chinese, Russian, and American armed forces was constantly undercut by the knowledge that the real threat was being overlooked in a lab all along. It was hard to get invested in any of those moments, knowing they would be swept aside shortly.

When we do finally get to the crisis, there’s a lot of convenient and implausible details that are added to try to up the stakes. A lab under strict quarantine will automatically vent it’s contaminated air into the atmosphere without any available override? The Monks can magically fix the Doctor’s eyesight now? And the sonic sunglass can show the Doctor practically everything, except for the numbers on a lock? They won’t even let him send a picture of the lock to Bill’s phone so she can help him get the combination right? Sure, Doctor Who has invented plenty of convenient details to keep its stories moving before. But the problem with using the sonic screwdriver or sonic sunglasses to resolve all previous plot problems is that its failure to do something as simple as take a picture sticks out at as a rather obvious oversight. 

And then there’s the main crux of the story: The Monks require consent to take over the planet, and that consent must be “pure.” It cannot be motivated by fear, or strategy, or surrender. It can only be given out of love. And only Bill’s consent is deemed pure enough to let the Monks take over the planet. But the way the scenario actually played out didn’t make sense by the Monks’ own internal logic, and it left me feeling both confused and disturbed.

Under this entire situation crafted by the Monks, any consent that could be given would still be made under threat. They are all-powerful aliens with the power to avert each of the crises humanity faces, and yet they are going to allow them to happen unless they can get what they want. That’s effectively a threat. Furthermore, Bill doesn’t seem to actually give true consent. As she’s about to consent to the Monks, she begs the Doctor to undo what she’s done and save the planet. So she isn’t really consenting to the Monks’ control. She’s been frightened and bullied by the Monks into a place where she can provide verbal consent to something she doesn’t want so they can manipulate her own love for the Doctor to their own ends. 

It’s an already disturbing scenario, one made even more disturbing by lines like “Fear is temporary but love is slavery.” As if love will allow all actions to be justified. As if love for someone implies you will consent to whatever they ask you to do. 

I do want to acknowledge that consent is defined in this story by this episode’s villains, so we shouldn’t necessarily take them at face value. What disturbs me isn’t so much how they define love and consent, but how it is used and rewarded in this episode. It’s not simply that the Monks are expressing a warped view about consent. They can only do whatever it is they are about to do to the human race with consent from someone with power. And only Bill’s consent qualifies as “pure” enough that the Monks can finally take action, while it seems to be the most manipulated and forced.

I don’t want to imply that Steven Moffat or Peter Harness wanted to impart any type of particular messaging here. I’m not trying to say that they DID intend anything beyond creating a plot device for aliens to take control of the world. All I can do is react to it given the context of my own life. “Consent” is itself a hotly debated and fiercely defended concept at the moment. We are constantly negotiating the best ways to define and express consent, and defending our discussions against critics who say they don’t need to happen at all. So I’m going to react more strongly to an episode that is defining and seeking a “pure” consent. And this just made me uncomfortable. 

Another moment which definitely raised an eyebrow was the re-hashing of the scene where Bill and Penny’s date gets interrupted. I’d hoped that this might go better a second time around, but incredibly, it become exponentially worse. Instead of having a confused Pope wander in and scare Penny off, a group of soldiers bursts in the door and holds Bill and Penny at gunpoint so they can be introduced to the Secretary General. It seems naive to treat a scene where soldiers burst into a home and hold two queer women of color at gunpoint as light comedy. Again, it’s about context. 

There where a few things I liked about this episode. I loved that actress Rachel Denning had a role in which she was just an everyday woman, and that her stature wasn’t a joke or some sort of supernatural element. I loved Bill’s comments about President Trump. But they just weren’t enough to get me over the moments that left me feeling uncomfortable.

When You Take the Mask Off (Part 2)

Series Summary: Fank’s one-night-stands turns into more than he thought, and this girl is more than she seems.

A/N: Said it once, gonna say it again: this series is going to be under the tags “when you take the mask off” and “wyttmo series”.  Also, this series will have a separate tag list, feel free to message me if you want to be tagged!

Frank Adler x reader

Word count: 1439

Summary: Frank and (Y/N) run into each other, and get to know each other as more than a wild night.

Warnings: alcohol, bad living condidtions?  Idk…

PART 1

(GIF not mine)

Originally posted by beardedchrisevans

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👉🏼Fear & falsity

I’ve been thinking a lot about fear this week. 

Fear is an interesting beast. We feel it deep in our chest, but it’s also completely made up. We create it, we mold it, we give it power. Even if we don’t want to. Especially when we don’t want to. 

The Boston Marathon is in four days. It’s likely the biggest race of my life, even if I run future Bostons. This will be my one and only first. Like almost every runner I know, I get a deep-seeded fear in my chest as race day approaches. The doubt sneaks in. Like some heavy gremlin hanging on my rib cage. I find myself picturing the starting line and I get panicky. I think of the pain I know will come — a pain I’ve put myself through countless times during training — and I wonder if I will be able to handle it. I question my training — did I do enough? Did I do it fast enough, long enough, smart enough?

Send me out on a 26.2-mile run today and I could do it. I could even PR. But put me through the anxiety of race morning, even though it’d be the same physical distance, and something changes. The stress of that morning has taken great races out of my hands and given me simply satisfying ones instead. 

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about fear this week. And here’s what I will be telling myself Monday morning in Hopkinton:

Fear is a liar. 

Fear kills dreams. 

Fear sets limits.

Fear prohibits confidence. 

Fear is a waste of space.

Fear saps energy. 

Fear questions true courage. 

Fear grows on itself.

Fear is stupid, forgetful and blind.

Fear is temporary. 

Fear has absolutely nothing but a voice.

This time will be different. #BeBoston

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I struggled with the plot for this one but hopefully this one was alright. I didn’t quite know how to make a good scenario in which Loki could be jealous but hopefully it was subtle enough that I covered it over with some angst. Plus FRIGGA BEING A LOVELY MUM WHO JUST KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT IS GOING ON IS LIKE MY FAVOURITE THING EVER. For floating-balloon, I hope it was what you were looking for. Enjoy, my darlings!

Prompt: Something with Loki maybe I’m ok so Thor and u r really close friends and at first Loki doesn’t care but he sees how close u and Thor can get and like playful flirting and he jets jealous idk if ya want

“My Best Friend’s Brother”

“Higher, Thor. Higher!” You cried. The God’s hands were on your waist and he had lifted you with ease into the air but still your fingertips were just a bit shy of the black pear.
“If I lift you any higher, you shall fall.” He laughed from underneath you.
“Loki! Come and help us.” You called out to the Trickster God who was sitting at the base of the tree with a book in his hand. Rolling his eyes, he looked up and sighed.

“I shall not be partaking in such foolish activities.” He muttered. Thor nudged him with this foot whilst still trying to hold you in the air.
“Come now brother, do not deny us your services.”
“I find it curious that you still insist upon my assistance despite my most blatant refusal.” Loki slammed his book shut to make a statement before standing and walking off. He had been reading so peacefully until Thor and his friend had arrived. The two had known each other for countless years and always seemed to be in each other’s company – he only wished that they could do so without disturbing. On their own, they were tolerable, the woman more so, but together they were a barrage of laughter and playfulness that Loki just couldn’t stand.

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This is a long overdue post, but a huge hello to all my new beautiful followers! I hope my blog can be a safe, open space where SPN/Destiel/Cockles fans alike are able to unite. Let’s have fun analyzing, laughing and crying together <3 Stay positive!

Originally posted by zechs

Also, in special observance of Pride month and #onepulse, I extend the biggest hugs to my lgbtqia+ followers. Fear is temporary, but love is forever. 

Originally posted by mariyapilipenko

Don’t forget to smile! 

Originally posted by tenscupcake

I SEE WE ARE ALL IN AGREEMENT ON FAI AND HIS MOMENT OF SUDDEN HORROR. 

I’M SO GLAD. 

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Neither, actually. I was never afraid of the dark as a child. 

When I awoke in Brennenburg, remembering nothing but my own name and residence, the darkness was terrifying. It held the unknown, the feel of the void. It signified that the Shadow was closing in.

~ Be Good To Me ~

Genre:  Fluff, Angst

Summary:  Tom has to make a choice after a painful breakup. Is he ready to try again?

Author’s Notes:  This is based off of the song Be Good To Me by Chris Mann and some of the lyrics are used in the story.  We all know what it’s like to feel scared about new relationships, about sharing ourselves, about offering something that might be rejected (for a variety of reasons).  I feel that practically every time I type up something like this and start to question why I’m bothering to do so (also for a variety of reasons!).  Don’t let fear win.  Thank you to my guinea pig @i-wanna-be-toms-body-pillow and to everyone, on Fan Fic Writers Appreciation Day 2016, who has been kind to me and supported my scribblings.  Thank you. <3

He found himself standing there, the first time since the last time.

He found himself standing there, toes ever so slightly peeking over the edge.

He found himself standing there, strapping the parachute around his heart, contemplating jumping off into the unknown again.

His heart.

A battered heart.

A shell-shocked heart.

Be good to me.

Please be good to me.

But he knew he wasn’t alone.

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