fbi vest

Reunion

“You grew up.”

He laughs, rough and edging just slightly on bitter.

“Yeah, that happens when you disappear for two years.”

Derek’s eyes flit downward, and Stiles waits for him to comment on the FBI vest strapped to his chest but he doesn’t. His eyes only go so far as Stiles’ mouth, flicking back to his eyes and then down again, lingering, before sliding away. A warmth blooms out from Stiles’ chest, crawling up his neck and coiling downward, and this definitely isn’t the time for this but they haven’t seen each other in a year and a half, not even pictures because why the hell would Stiles have a picture of Derek (and he’s spent too long cursing not having pictures of Derek) and he finds his own eyes lingering.

“…You look exactly the same.” And that’s not true because Derek actually looks better, but there’s no real way to explain that Stiles hadn’t been able to hold all of the goddamn perfection of Derek’s face in his memory. He’d thought he had, but his eyes keep flitting around now and holding, catching on little details, little rushes of rediscovery in those eyes, that jaw, his teeth, his mouth, his…

Stiles wets his lips, and Derek’s looking again.

“We should––”

“I should have called,” Derek says at the same time, and Stiles blinks, breaking off, confusion pinching his brows because Derek hadn’t known Stiles was coming. He’d had no reason to call. Except… “After… Peter told me what happened, and I…”

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, but it wasn’t any less fine than anything else from that shit show. It wasn’t any worse than Derek leaving town and getting rid of his phone to begin with.

“I felt sick the whole time you were gone,” Derek presses on, quick and urgent, like the words had been fighting for months to bubble loose and are finally breaking free. “I felt… Cora said it seemed like I’d just… emptied out. On the full moon, I could barely––”

Stop it.” It stung, because he’d thought Derek would care. For the longest time he’d felt like Derek should care, and deciding he didn’t was the first stepping stone to pulling himself together after… after the Benefactor.

Or… fuck, maybe Derek had cared, but he hadn’t cared enough to stay, to keep in contact, to check in when Stiles had needed… needed someone.

No, fuck. Needed him.

“This isn’t the time,” he says, firmly, because a fucking FBI SWAT team is nearby somewhere and there’s still a target painted on Derek’s back, and the fact that Stiles wants to crawl onto his lap and beat the crap out of him at the same time doesn’t matter, because Stiles is here to save his life. Again.

Derek parts his lips, looks like he wants to argue… and ends up just nodding, looking away up the street.

Stiles makes it a whole three steps toward the next corner before swinging back on him, balled fist smacking his bicep.

“Why didn’t you call?”

Derek doesn’t flinch at the blow. Sighs softly. When he meets Stiles’ eyes, the look in them’s enough to send months of coiled anger scattering.

“I would have gone back.”

“…What?” Stiles feels breathless on the word. Derek looks away, hands lost in the depths of his pockets and stance set in the defeated posture of a man with no way to win.

“If I’d heard your voice. If you’d asked. If you’d even sounded anything less than happy––” He grits his teeth, sharp and sudden, head ducking against some ugly thought. “…And I didn’t want to hear you happy, either.” That falls out lower, tight and rough like a secret shame.

“You didn’t want to hear me happy,” Stiles echoes, numb, and then slowly: “Without you.”

And he only understands Derek’s meaning because it’s been echoing in his own chest for over a year–– that stupid, selfish war of wanting to know he’s happy, and not wanting to know he’s happy, not wanting to hear him making a life and finding bliss in a way Stiles couldn’t give him. He’d always wanted to know Derek was doing well, so much that he’d lain up at night sometimes picturing new, bright, sometimes ridiculously corny futures for him… but the thought had always been as agonizing as it was hopeful and Stiles had never slept well afterward. And then he’d spent other nights up hating himself for being selfish enough to half-hope Derek might not be happy.

Might fail out there in the world, and come home.

Derek’s eyes are on his again, wide and shock-soft in a way Stiles had only glimpsed on him once before: the rush of thinking you’re alone in the world and realizing for one beautiful instant that you’re understood

He can feel a matching expression lighting up his own eyes.

“We’re idiots,” he breathes, and Derek shakes his head, barely seeming to feel the movement.

“I couldn’t go back there.”

“But you could have known I fucking missed you as much as––” He breaks off, despite everything suddenly unsure. “…you missed me?”

“I missed you.” Derek promises, not missing a beat.

“You missed me,” Stiles echoes, and it’s everything he never knew he needed to hear. They watch each other for too long, stunned, awed stillness.

And then the slam of a car door in the distance pulls them back; reminds them where they are and what’s happening. Derek blinks away, looking out and alert toward the street, but Stiles can see a faint flush around his ears, a happy pull that won’t quite die on his lips.

“This isn’t the time,” Derek says, and Stiles nods. There are villains to stop. People to save.

“This isn’t the time,” he echoes, but he’s smiling as he turns to head up the street. “Later.”

It sounds like a promise worth keeping.

The Next Time You Say ‘Forever’

(sterek week day 5, song/lyric by Neko Case, 1.5k)

The next time you say ‘forever’ 

i will punch you in your face

Stiles is mad at him. It’s not that unusual, Derek guesses. They’ve always had a relationship that was built on a certain amount of arguing and bickering, but this time it’s a silent anger. Usually Stiles has no problem letting Derek explicitly know all the ways he’s let Stiles down, but now he’s not talking. He’d spent hours loudly complaining to the FBI agents on the task force and the EMT’s who’d shown up about his shot off toe, and how a change in walking gait now could mess up his hips or his back later, but once Derek and Stiles were alone in Derek’s car together, heading back to Beacon Hills, it was dead silence.

That’s how Derek knows whatever it is eating at Stiles, it’s serious. He’ll tell anyone who’ll listen about every minor gripe and petty complaint he has, but the big stuff he keeps bottled up until he explodes with it. 

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Babe, you’re telling it wrong

“And so, when the brave FBI intern valiantly fought his way into the building to rescue his long lost love, he had to hope that he was there in time. When he finally found him, the relief was almost enough to make him fall to his knees, but he knew he couldn’t waste time. So, he saved his love from the clutches of his would be captors, and helped to carry him away from the chaos by looping one arm over his own shoulders, and with a strong arm wrapped around his middle, supporting him while they escaped.”


“Did they live happily ever after?” Claude asks at the same time that Lori says “But you saved Papa, right?”


“Wait,” Claude adds, his brow furrowing in a way that reminds Stiles so much of Derek that he has trouble remembering that Claude is adopted, “Is this the same story Papa tells about why your toe looks funny?”


“No, silly,” Lori answers on Stiles’ behalf, her eyes darting to where Derek is leaning against the doorway with an all too amused smirk on his face. “That can’t be the toe story, in the toe story Papa carries Daddy ‘way from the bad guys, 'cause Daddy’s toe got a boo-boo when he was a-rescuin’ Papa, and Papa was so sorry 'bout it, but they had to be fast, so he scooped Daddy up like a Prince and they runned away together. Right, Daddy? It’s a different story?”


Stiles takes a moment to glare at Derek, who is doing a terrible job of hiding his amusement behind the curl of his fist before looking back at their daughter. “Well, sweetheart,” he begins, trying to avoid letting his mouth gape uselessly while he tries to figure out the best way to answer that doesn’t include mentioning over a decade of bickering about this particular story, or the countless times Stiles had fantasized about his version of the story being real before he’d ever donned an FBI vest, or how in the end it has never mattered that the truth is somewhere in between, and that the only thing that matters is that the rescue happened and that at the end of the day he’d had Derek’s hand in his and they’d been able to get out and move forward. Together.


“The thing about stories-”


“The important thing,” Derek says, taking the few steps needed to cross from the doorway to where Stiles sits in a soft chair next to the twin’s beds. “The best thing,” he says, settling a hand on Stiles’ shoulder, letting his fingers ruffle the hair at the nape of Stiles’ neck and flashing him a genuine grin, “Is that your daddy and I saved each other.”


Stiles reaches a hand up to squeeze Derek’s where it rests on his own shoulder, adding, “Yeah we did. And we always will.”


Derek leans down to give Stiles a warm, chaste kiss, and Stiles lets the peace that that truth gives him settle over him like a blanket. When they both whisper “Always,” into the small space created when they pull apart, it’s followed by matching smiles (and eye rolls, because they are so married it’s ridiculous).


Claude’s “Okay, but I want the toe story tomorrow night, 'kay Papa?” breaks through the moment, but it’s still kinda perfect anyway.


“Toe story it is, kiddo!” Derek assures with a smile as he moves to tuck the kids in.


“But,” Stiles insists, “You have to tell it <i>right </i>, Der. My toe was nearly <i>obliterated</i>!”


Stiles finds Derek’s answering snort highly offensive.

FBI Agent Stiles Masterlist

In honor of the new season of tw, but more importantly seeing Stiles in that fbi vest, here is a list of fics featuring fbi agent stiles (word count descending) 

this is a long post and will be under a read more, sorry mobile users if it doesn’t work!

happy reading <3

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus_22 (13/13 | 135,305 | NC17)

“We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“

“Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.

“He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.

Or the one where Derek gets attacked by hunters, ends up with amnesia and forgets Stiles is his mate

Blue Moon by AsexualDerek (Cammerel) (24/24 | 113,049 | NC17)

After Agent Hale’s partner is killed, he gets landed with a young, nubile agent that doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut and stop asking questions about things that aren’t his business to know.

Part 1 of You Be Mulder and I’ll Be Scully

Hale of a Clue by Farscapegeek (1/1 | 21,525 | PG13)

Stiles isn’t sure how long he stands there mouth agape at the man in front of him but he is sure it was far longer than what was polite. But he can’t help admiring the man’s jaw line, and scruff, and the way he fills out the suit.

“Are you coming in or would you prefer to objectify me on the porch all night?” A gruff, but not unpleasantly so, voice calls out.

Flailing a bit Stiles moved towards the man, wondering is he the butler, doorman, or host of this party. All he knows is he is wishfully thinking this guy isn’t totally straight. “Are you the butler?” he blurts out, then cringes. Way to make a first impression, Stiles.

The man’s impressive eyebrows narrow into a scowl. “Yes. I’m Wadsworth. The coat rack is there.” Wadsworth turns and visibly winces as his shoe squelches.

“Aren’t you supposed to do that for me? You do work here right?” Stiles asks as he shrugs off his jacket.

“No, I just like to trespass in creepy houses on hills in the rain and open doors for people that drive death traps.” Wadsworth says, as he blows out a deep breath and points Stiles towards the coat rack.

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Teen Wolf Season 6B Breakdown

Teen Wolf finally unleashed the trailer to the remaining 10 episodes to close out the season and it is jammed back with many characters returning to Beacon Hills as well as a hookup between SCOTT AND MALIA. Yup, you read that right. Scott and Malia have hooked up in the trailer. You don’t believe me, then have a look for yourself below



It is definitely getting hot in here and they have no clothes on. Wow.

Another spectacular reveal is that, both Derek and Stiles will return, but we don’t whether or not if they will be with us for the entire 10 episode run. Also, Stiles is wearing an FBI vest.. WHAAAAA

Another major reveal I caught is that, the fresco with the mountain hill of dead bodies  from season 5 IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. The shot on the left is from trailer if you caught it in the beginning and the shot on the right is the fresco

There’s a scene in the trailer where Gerard basically says something about all of this feeling nostalgic and I think its also a poke at us because, it all is nostalgic 

Well, look who’s back from his trip to London? Take a wild guess. And he’s brought Ethan along wit him. Gosh, I wish Aiden didnt die in battle with that stupid Oni.


Oh yeah, Kate is back to finish some unfinished business. And it looks like she’s holding a bottle of wolfsbane in her paws. Will she be working together with Gerard is the question. Oh, look its one of the most beautiful villains in all of Teen Wolf history.

While we’re on the subject of villains, here is a look at two of the newest ones. season 6b just wouldn’t be holding up teen wolf tradition without new bad guys for us to hate. One of these villains just happens to be a bad hellhound by the name of Halwyn.

I really hope Jeff can find a way to bring Allison back. Here’s a plot idea: Just say that the stab wound actually placed her body in a suspended state of rest. and that it can be broken.

Also, I hope that Daniel was one of the cast members who said yes to coming back. that would be awesome.

STYDIA UPDATE 

Blow Your Mind

Originally posted by lovershub

Request- ‘Can you please write one where you have really rough sex with Reid?’

Part 3 of SMUTmas!


 ‘He is so hot!’ You exclaimed, pointing at the actor on the TV. ‘Look at him in his FBI vest. I would want him to slam me against a wall and fuck me senseless.’

You took a sip of your drink, and turned to your boyfriend, FBI genius Spencer Reid, who was staring at you in disbelief.

‘Y/N, I’m an FBI agent too?’ Spencer questioned, raising an eyebrow at you.

You laughed. ‘Yes, I know that. But you’re quite, well, lovey-dovey in bed. I couldn’t imagine you being rough with me.’

Spencer leant forward and removed the mug from your hand.

‘Oh, Y/N, I could Blow. Your. Mind.’ He whispered into your ear, as a moan involuntarily escaped from your mouth.

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Alrighty nonnie, here goes the long explanation lol

Step 1: Gather supplies. 

  • White Poster-board (Get 2 just in-case) 
  • Fabric. (2 shades of blue. Match to mine (as close as you can))  Get at least 2 yards of the dark blue and 1/8 yard of the lighter blue.
  • 2 Poly Foam squares (I’ll put a picture below) 
  • 1 ½ - 2 inch ELASTIC band. Get as much as you need. (Actually, get a little more just in-case you F up.) Try to get blue. I had to get black because that’s all the store had. Either of those two colors will work.
  • Hook and Loop Velcro. You will need 6 appropriately sized pieces so get like, 12. (MAKE SURE YOU GET BOTH PIECES OF THE VELCRO. THE FLUFFY BIT AND THE POINTY BIT)
  • An X-Acto knife. (You can use scissors but it takes longer.)
  • A hot glue gun. (Be super freaking careful with this thing. It’s HOT)
  • A pack of 30 or more appropriately sized glue sticks. Make sure they work in the glue gun you have. (You will end up using a lot of these so don’t panic when they all suddenly disappear.)
  • White 3″ Stencil letters. 
  • White colored pencil or fabric pencil.


Step 2: Get your body measurements. Can’t just eyeball this thing (Believe me, just don’t)

You’ll need:

STRAP MEASUREMENTS

STEP 3: Take your poster-board and sketch out the front and back of the vest. Start with your measurements and then draw the actual shape afterwards. 

It should look something like this (This is the front. MAKE SURE WHEN YOU DO THE BACK THE NECK DOESN’T DIP DOWN AS FAR.)

STEP 4: Take your Poly Form squares and cut them to fit your vest. 

(If you can, get 1/2″ x 12 x 12. If you get the 1″ you will have to cut it in half and BELIEVE ME IT ISN’T WORTH IT. IT TOOK 30 MINUTES JUST TO CUT IT IN HALF.) If you do end up having to get the 1″ and cut it in half, this is where you will need an X-Acto knife. There is no way you can do this with scissors. (All you ‘challenge accepted’ people: Go nuts bro)

Anyways, it should look like this when you are done. (Again, this is the front. For the back you wont need to put anything on the shoulder bits.) For the shoulder bits make the height half the height of the middle bit. This will make it flow better.

BACK SHOULD LOOK KINDA LIKE THIS (The red is the foam)

Step 5: Trace the back and front of your vest on the darker blue fabric with the white colored or fabric pencil.

Step 6: Cut the patterns out. (CUT AT LEAST ONE INCH FARTHER OUT THAN THE ACTUAL PATTERN!!!! YOU WILL NEED THAT EXTRA FABRIC!!)

Step 7: Now’s the fun part. (A.K.A. The worst part ever.) Now you need to take your glue gun

And all of these fuckers

And glue the fabric over the poster-board and foam. Make sure the fabric is taught and not sagging. This is the part that takes the most time. It’s slow going to get it just right. 

Tip: Don’t glue everywhere on the fabric. Follow this guide and it will save you glue, and the vest will look, well, NOT glued on. 

(Pretty much the same for the back)

DO NOT PUT DOWN ALL THE GLUE AT ONCE. THE HOT GLUE DRIES IN ABOUT 15 SECONDS. YOU HAVE TO DO IT SECTION BY SECTION.

OH GOD, ALSO. SEE THOSE BITS ON THE SIDES THAT STICK OUT? WELL THOSE BITS WILL BE WRAPPED AROUND YOUR WAIST. BEFORE YOU GLUE THE FABRIC ON ROLL THOSE SIDES UP A COUPLE OF TIMES. THIS WILL LOOSEN THEM UP TO WRAP AROUND YOU AND IT ALSO GIVES IT THE SHAPE IT NEEDS. ONCE THE FABRIC IS ON DO IT AGAIN, NOT TOO HARD, BE MINDFUL OF THE GLUE.

It should look like this. (minus the FBI bit, that’s next)

(You can definitely sew this if you want. I’m just rubbish at sewing so I glued it. But if you feel you can sew, by all means, go for it.)

*Optional step* Cut out more of the blue fabric and cover the rest of the poster-board that is showing on the non-foam side.

Step 8: Cut out another piece of poster-board. 3 ¼ inch by ? inches. (The long edge depends on your body shape. For reference, mine was 6 inches. But yours might be different so you decide this part)

Step 9: Trace this piece on the dark blue fabric. Cut out the fabric and glue on. (Same as vest)

*Optional step* Use a black sharpie and draw ‘thread lines’ around the FBI badge.

Step 10: Glue ‘badge’ on vest. Use above picture for reference.

Step 11: Carefully stick the White Letters to the ‘badge’.

Step 12: Now it’s time to prepare for the straps. First take out your Elastic band and cut it to the appropriate measurements. (From earlier) 

Next cut Velcro to fit behind the Elastic band. (Make sure you can’t see any of the Velcro behind the band.)

Now cut the poster-board into 6 equally sized rectangles. Cover these in the lighter blue fabric. (These will be the Velcro covers.)

Step 13: Glue the end of the Elastic band to the lighter blue, fabric, Velcro cover. Then peel the plastic off the back of the Velcro and stick the pointy bit on top of the cover and band. (This will sandwich the Elastic band between the cover and the Velcro) (If your Velcro doesn’t have adhesive on the back just glue it on) Now stick the fluffy bit to the vest. Use the above picture as reference.

Step 14: Now onto the back. Cut out 2 more pieces of poster board and cover these bits with the darker blue fabric. Glue the Elastic band to the top of the vest and then glue the 2 covers on top of theseUse picture below for size and placement reference. 

Step 15: Cut 1 more piece of poster-board and cover it with the darker blue fabric. (That big bottom piece.) 

Step 16: Glue the 4 straps to the vest and cover those with the fabric covered poster-board you just cut out. Glue it down. 

Step 17: Put the vest on and go catch some serial killers!


HAVE FUN (;

Okay, so listen here. I don’t know why but I’ve seen two pictures where Derek is carrying Stiles in 6x20 and we all saw that scene at the trailers where Stiles is supporting Derek while wearing an FBI vest and I said: “wait, how can they be the same scene?” and then I thought that maybe (I don’t know, it’s kind of crack) once they’re all reunited Scott would be like: “How did you two meet (again)?” because they came together and how that happened?

And Stiles’ gonna be like “I saved his werewolf ass again.”:

And after Stiles finnishes, Derek is staring at him and be like:

What Really Matters

A/N: An anon sent a little headcanon thing about the Black Queen episode where Garcia and Morgan are involved in that sexual harassment talk. This will include Spencer x Reader also. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha

                                                               —–

“Today, we are going to be talking about sexual harassment.”

In an instant, Penelope and yourself shared a terrified glance. The woman speaking had set up a presentation. On it were phrases like “my big, black twelve-pack,” which was definitely a Garcia line, and “I’d like to see you in nothing but that FBI vest,” which was definitely something you’d said to Spencer before. 

You were all for having these kinds of presentations. Sexual harassment was no joke at all, but every single bullet point on this presentation was something that Penelope had said to Morgan or you had said to Spencer. This entire floor of the Bureau knew that this was how you spoke to your respective best guy friends. No one had any issues with it, but somehow, this woman and her people had caught wind of your inside jokes and decided to make an entire fucking presentation out of it. 

Glancing to the side, you saw JJ and Emily smirk. You pushed your tongue up behind your lip and shrugged. She was going to speak, go through her entire spiel and you and Spencer would go back to speaking the way you always did. Spencer was “in his shell” with everyone else to an extent, but with you, he let loose a little bit, and you weren’t about to let this woman ruin that.

“Now, I want everyone to take a peek at the board for a minute. Things like ‘I love that sexy string bean body’ and ‘Or what, you’ll spank me’ are not okay,” she started, her smug smile when she glanced at the four of you crawling under your skin. You sunk into your chair and closed your eyes, trying to tune out the bullshit. It wasn’t helping. Spencer just stood behind your chair, occasionally smirking, considering when it came to the two of you, most of the colorful language was yours. Morgan on the other hand desperately wanted to tell this woman to shut up, and Penelope looked the worst off of all of you. Although she wasn’t ashamed of the way she spoke to Morgan, having every single detail of their conversations picked apart in front of everyone was mortifying her. No one cared. The only ones that cared were HR people who assumed that there was to be no fun at all in the workplace; that people were supposed to just come into work, do their jobs, and not cultivate any close relationships.

“Agent Y/L/N,” the woman said, pulling you out of your little reverie, “This is a serious matter. I need you to pay attention.” With a laugh, you pushed yourself up in the chair and stared her down. “Is sexual harassment a laughing matter to you?” 

Ok, now she was questioning your character and that’s just some bullshit. “Actual sexual harassment? No, not at all, and I don’t appreciate the insinuation. Sexual harassment is no laughing matter, however, how I speak to my co-workers, in front of my other co-workers who literally don’t care as long as we do our jobs? That is funny.”

“The way you and some other co-workers,” she said, eyeing Penelope without taking her eyes off you, “Talk to each other, can make people uncomfortable.”

You nodded and looked around, able to point out with one hand worth of fingers how many people you’d joked in front of that weren’t members of your immediate team. “Yes, which is why I make it a point to only joke that way in front of members of my immediate team who know exactly what the nature of my relationship with Dr. Reid is. You want to talk about sexual harassment, talk about the agents on this very floor who “subtly” brush past my, and my female co-workers asses because “there wasn’t enough room” for them not to touch my ass. You want to talk about sexual harassment, take a look at the video cameras and watch as a particular agent, who I won’t name in public, backed me into the wall of the elevator and tried to tell me how big his cock was. Sexual harassment in the workplace? Let’s talk about the fact that I can’t count on fingers and toes how many times I’ve separated a male agent from a female one, or the occasional female from female because things were getting uncomfortable, and that’s the things that I’ve seen. Sexual harassment is absolutely no joke at all, you’re the one making it into a joke by focusing on the way I talk to my co-worker.” Despite the fact that you thought this whole thing was a joke, you weren’t going to bring Garcia into this and make her more uneasy. 

For a brief moment, you and the HR representative bore holes into each other, and then she continued. Again, you tuned out, because she was still talking about the way you spoke to Spencer and the way Morgan spoke with Penelope. When you glanced back toward Spencer, he looked proud of you; you gave him a small thumbs up and a roll of the eyes. 

All of a sudden, Garcia looked down at her phone. “It’s Hotch,” she whispered. 

“Miss Garcia,” the woman said. Oh goddammit, she was annoying.

Garcia’s face went red again. “I’m sorry. It’s Agent Hotchner. I have to go. I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The remainder of the presentation passed by in a haze of awkwardness. You didn’t pay attention. Spencer and Morgan didn’t. The rest of the Bureau was in and out of consciousness. Even the HR representative seemed like she was just going through the motions, your words hitting her hard. Finally, it was over and she asked to speak with you. “Agent Y/L/N, I need you to know that I take what you said seriously.”

“Good,” you replied. “I’m sorry I can’t say the same about your presentation. There are so many other things that we need to worry about in the workplace that have nothing to do with the way I speak to my best friend. If you are actually serious, as you claim to be, please look into actual instances of sexual harassment within the Bureau, because I can assure you they do exist.”

She gave you a nod, which you took as your opportunity to leave. “Spence, wait up,” you said, running up behind him. He glanced backward, wondering why you’d been speaking to the HR representative, so you explained. “I won’t say anything loud enough for her to hear, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop telling you and I’d like to pin you up against the wall of the file room.”

“Hopefully, she’ll let this go,” he laughed, his pointer finger waving between the two of you, “and focus on what actually matters. How do you think Garcia’s doing?”

“I think she wants to hide her head in shame,” you replied. “But she’ll be fine. After a couple of days, she’ll go back to calling Morgan her big black twelve-pack just like she’s supposed to.”

Spencer looked down at his stomach wistfully. “I’ll never have a twelve-pack, or even a six pack.”

“You are perfect just the way you are you sexy pipe cleaner.”