fazr

I think the thing that I find most difficult nowadays is waking up for fazr salah. The sun rises at around 5 in the morning and I sleep at 12 every night. So for the past few days I’ve been skipping salah, sometimes accidently and sometimes on purpose to catch those extra hours of sleep. I realized this morning it’s not up to Allah to force us to pray; it’s our own will. And when you think about it, you need Allah’s blessing and you need that prayer more than Allah needs it. So if any of you are struggling to wake up, first and foremost a reminder to myself, then realize how salah improves your overall life. You need it more than anything. Alhumdhullilah, today I managed to wake myself up and I’ve been feeling more better and refreshed than the past few days. And my mother told me this morning, “today you have noor on your face but for the past days your face had been looking dull”. Prayer is everything! <3 So take the opportunity to pray, you’re alive and healthy to pray and you never know.. you might not get the chance to pray one day, when you’ll be wishing for prayer the most. Keep in mind the beautiful message recited in the fazr adzhan.. Prayer is better than sleep.

Organic Intensity

For you, my heart…ripped from my chest. Eviscerated, I am. And if I could, I would plunge my fingers through my chest and rip out my heart and give it to you. A pulpy mass of morbid diathesis.
In addition to my heart, there are some small organs that want to give you: glands… sweetbreads… variety meats. I’m offering these gifts. Rare gifts. I know that they don’t amount to much in the face of what you’ve given me.
I’ve heard these organs can’t survive outside the body for more than a few hours. But I’ll try to get there as soon as I can. Whatever happens, it will be on me. On my heart.

Resolution

Negative scenarios only exist because I place myself in them. The amount of things I see or know, but cease to take action, is ridiculous. It’s spring cleaning for myself. Time to cleanse my mind of filth and negativity. Time to resolve all conflict with myself and all active mutators. The stress, frustration, depression, anxiety, is overwhelming. I’m not dealing with the bullshit. Resolution.

Agony

“I am in simple, yet complex agony. Agonizing annoyance. Agonizing fear. Agonizing vex. Agonizing dismay. I can’t breathe. In my very dormant soul, haunting me, tormenting me. Release, just release. Cease to proceed in metaphors you later turn upon. Release this impending collar from my neck, for I am finished being enslaved. For every event, becomes a scar. A god damn scar. I am sickened by the thought of further arrest of free-will. I am only human. No Nordic. No genetically enhanced man. No archangel. No extra solar being. Human. Expect only the reality. I want my soul to never be ravished by terror. I want life, beautiful…beautifil life to continue in a gate of righteousness. ”

Clearly

The relentless rise in the use of the word ‘clearly’, particularly during a time which - plasma screens aside - doesn’t seem especially clear, is an intriguing one. Clearly, something is going on when 'clearly’ is said, not only half a dozen times by presenters, commentators and guests on TV programmes, but by people in the real world, too. 'Clearly, no one knows what they’re talking about.’

Many now say 'clearly’ as a whole sentence, or to punctuate a statement. Some of the longer sentences can be peculiar, such as: 'Clearly, people watched Big Brother, but clearly racism is unacceptable, so clearly it had to be looked at’; 'We clearly expect that we won’t fall below the benchmark we were hoping for’; or 'Clearly, the founding fathers didn’t intend states to recognise homosexual unions - especially in time of war.’ Sometimes people use 'clearly’ defensively, sometimes arrogantly, sometimes to state the (supposed) bleeding obvious while meanwhile trying to think of something worth saying; sometimes in the hope of putting aside an uncomfortable topic, and maybe sometimes with the intention of eliciting a contrary claim. 'Clearly, this means divorce, Roland, and clearly I’ll get custody.’

Those who say, 'That’s clearly nonsensical’ are having great fun exploring the meanings of language and clarity. Others say 'clearly’ all the time while being sniffy about people who say “innit’, 'yeah’, or 'whatever’. And it’s clearly lawyers who began all this 'clearly’, so let’s not blame all of the middle class. Notes a frequent user of 'clearly’ on Twitter: 'I use it way too much in real life, too. I actually wasn’t aware of it until a friend said, ” It’s cute how you say clearly all the time.“ And then I became terribly over-conscience [sic] of it.’

Options.

If we are able to recognize a negative train of thought before it develops into full-blown anger, it is not too hard to control. If we can do this, there is no danger of our anger being “bottle up” and turning into resentment. Controlling anger and repressing anger are two very different things. Repression occurs when anger has developed fully in our mind but we fail to acknowledge its presence. We pretend to ourself and to others that we are not angry - we control the outward expression of anger but not the anger itself. This is very dangerous because the anger continues to seethe below the surface of our mind, gathering in strength until one day it inevitably explodes