fawi

Welcoming Change and Saying Goodbye.

One of the mostly asked questions during a job interview is: Are you flexible to change? or simply any question related to that matter. Of course to ace that interview, we’d probably say yes and try to convince the interviewer (and ourselves) that we’re indeed flexible to change. But when it’s already there, isn’t it frightening? Could we really say that we’re ready for it? Because although change is inevitable, we most likely be frightened about it in some ways.

As I’m capping off this year, I realized that along with welcoming change is saying goodbye to some things.

This year, I graduated from college and had my first job a few months after. Things were scary, exciting and overwhelming at first. I had to bid goodbye to my dependent self as I share some financial responsibilities in our family now that I’m earning. I also bid goodbye to simple pleasures like semestral and Christmas breaks and class suspensions, which I used to look forward back when I was a student. Perhaps my college diploma and my very first salary were two of the most rewarding things I’ve gotten amidst the changes I went through; and frankly these were just bearable changes and goodbyes I’ve encountered so far this year because there’s one thing I find hard to let go of. I’m not totally sure if I’ll share it here on my blog but a part of me felt like I should. (and this is what I’m doing right now)

When I started blogging, my relationship status somehow became public. There was even a point in time when people would leave heartfelt comments on my blog and it was overwhelming knowing that some people were inspired by the kind of relationship that I have. But things change … as always.

Getting straight to the point: we already called it quits and it’s been quite awhile since then. It wasn’t easy to accept especially because we were in a relationship for almost 5 years. At first, I hate to refer to him as my “ex” and I refrain from using the term “break up”. When people asked me how things have been between us I would simply say, “friends muna kami,” instead of “break na kami.” Though we’re in good terms and been seeing each other since the break-up, but it is not as often as before. There were times when we would still act as a couple but at the end of the day, it felt like we have to set boundaries knowing that it shouldn’t be like that anymore. 

Sometimes I still sat down in front of my computer at work and either listen to heartbreaking songs or watch films which I think I could relate to. But unlike before, I felt less painful now. In my opinion, we made a good couple but maybe some good things have to break apart. I still don’t know what could happen — whether there would be a second chance (which I strongly disbelieved back then) or not. I just pray for the happiness of both of us. After all, I didn’t regret everything. 

Well this is a kind of change that made an impact on me this year but I gotta learn to cope up with it. How I wish welcoming change doesn’t have to go along with saying good bye. 

overused verses underused face claims

I see a lot of talk about overused and underused roleplays, and I just really want to voice my opinions on this. While yes, it does get annoying seeing the same face claims over and over, and it’s great to see different face claims, but honestly, when it comes down to it, here are a few home truths.

  • No one will join your rp if you use really obscure fc’s for your premades.  
  • Certain face claims have more resources and are easier accessible. It’s probably what makes them over used.
  • Your fc will hold connotations for other people, both negative and positive

To be honest, it shouldn't matter if the fc is overused, or underused. Pick who suits the character the best. Not who is prettiest, who has more gifs, who is obscure and trendy, or any other reason. 

Okay, I in no way want to start an ethnicity debate

However. There is a thing that is bugging me. Yes, it is important to stay true to the ethnicity of a face claim, and not have ridiculous family templates where they are all very different ethnically. However lets consider something here. America Ferrera’s parents are from Republic of Honduras. So does that mean every character she represents as an actress also has to be from Republic of Honduras, or we are dishonoring her ethnic heritage? Well, her two most known roles are Betty (ugly Betty), a Mexican-American and Carmen (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), a half Puerto-Rican. Neither of which anyone worried about as racially incorrect. Nina Dobrev’s character on The Vampire Diaries is clearly not Bulgarian, yet no one gets up in arms. Jared has Polish ancestors, while Jensen has Irish and Scottish, but we readily accept them as brothers on SPN. 

Is my point becoming clear? If not, let me explain. Limiting an actor to their specific ethnicity doesn’t need to occur in order to avoid ‘white-washing’ or any other racial thing you want to call it. (Lets not even start on the fact that I’ve never once heard anyone utter 'They can’t be related, she’s Polish and she’s Irish’ or 'No! Why couldn’t they cast a Welsh actor as that Welsh character!’ - what’s good for the goose should be good for the gander, guys.) I think that while, yes, keeping in mind the general ethnicity is key, and never write a canon character’s ethnicity out, there are some face claims that have played a diverse range of ethnicities in their career. Part of being an actor is being diverse. We as rpers don't necessarily need to ignore that. 

BODY SHAPE DIVERSITY.

While I think it’s fantastic we the rp community (or some of us, at least) are working towards diversity in ethnicity, gender, and sexual orientation, I think there is still one facet of diversity we as a whole are completely over-looking. And it actually makes me really angry. 

About a month ago, I posted this: reblog if you’ve ever played a character who wears a size 20+

Do you know how many notes it got? Thirteen. Thirteen people that saw that post have played someone considered ‘fat’. I think that’s disgusting. Just as we as a society are conditioned to think certain things about race and sexuality, we are also conditioned to think things about size. And no one cares. No one is outraged that there are actually tv shows soley dedicated to making people feel like they are wrong, or ugly because of their size. And please do not come back at me with the “it’s a health issue!”, because I will hit you on the backside of your head so damned fast. Weight =/= health. Some people are naturally bigger built people, yet are still healthy. Some people are slender, yet have a ton of health issues because they don’t look after themselves. So you can stop right there with that bs. 

I’ve never seen anyone review a rp and suggest they need more diversity in the sizes of their face claims. And you want to know why? Because we are still taught to think that being fat is 'wrong’. 

I challenge you all, right now, to fight that. I challenge you all to stand up and say “no.” to this. I challenge you all the stand up and truly diversify your roleplays by including plus size characters. 

I challenge you all, right now, to play a 'fat’ character yourself. I challenge you to play a body confident person who loves who they are, but just happens to be plus size. I challenge you to get involved in a romantic plot with a plus size character. 

Lets not push this discrimination under the rug any longer. 

7 things I hate like about us ❤

Tomorrow we will be celebrating our 20th month as a couple and I just want to post something before that day. So I thought of listing down the 7 things about us. Actually dapat 20 things yun kaso magiging sobrang haba na.

  1. Mahilig kaming mag wacky kapag nag pi-picture together. I don’t know pero halos lagi na lang kaming may wacky at never yun nawala. Wala sa amin kung mag mukha man kaming ewan o katawa-tawa sa harap ng isa’t isa basta para sa amin nag eenjoy kami. :)
  2. We cooked together. Fried chicken, pan cake, pancit canton, mga pritong ulam haha at maski nga mango graham cake gumawa na kami before. Aamin ko failed luto namin minsan pero ayos lang kasi masaya naman. :D
  3. Mahilig kaming manuod ng movies, mapa-online man o mismong sa sinehan. Kapag may gusto akong panuodin sasamahan niya ko (Twilight for example haha) saka ganun din naman siya kapag may gusto siyang panuodin, sasamahan ko siya syempre.
  4. Nag kakantahan kami. Trip na trip namin kumanta ng kaming dalawa lang. Minsan kapag nag de-date kami, talagang kasama sa plano namin ang kumanta sa KHUB o sa Timezone.
  5. We play games together. Sa Timezone nakahiligan naming laruin yung sa gitara. Pataasan pa kami ng score niyan. Nuon naman kapag nasa bahay nila ako, nag do-dota kami. Tinuturuan niya ako dati kasi sabi ko din naman sa kanya yun. Nakapag laro na din kami ng LOL (league of legends) tapos sa Facebook din yung ibang games dun minsan napag ti-tripan naming laruin. :)
  6. Nag sasakitan kami. Oo yung sabunutan, kurutan, hampasan, tadyakan at kung anu-anu pang sakitan. Enjoy kaya yun kahit mukha kaming mga tanga tapos after nun sweet-sweet-an na naman. 
  7.  Nag de-date pa din kami minsan. Basta may pera kami pareho, lumalabas kami. Hindi nawawala samin yun. Kahit kami na, nag pa-plano pa din kami mag date pa minsan-minsan. :“>
an open letter to the RPCHA community

This may lose me followers, I don’t mind. This may bring me anon hate, I’m prepared for that. There are things that I need to say though. I won’t put this under a read more. You can, if you’re going to reblog and respond, but I won’t. I think this needs to be seen. I’m not ashamed to post this. I think a lot of us need to wake up, and smell the bullshit. If you made a rpcha for any other reason than to help people, you did it for the wrong reason. This is not your own personal device to use as a way of promoting your roleplay. This is not your way of becoming popular. This is not a place to have endless conversations with your friends about personal jokes. I think it’s great people form friends through their rpcha blog. I have, but you need realize that while you are talking to those friends, the things you say on the dash are not private. They will be seen by others.

 Hiding behind the excuse that it was a joke won’t change anything. If it offends, upsets, or comes across a certain way to someone, own that. No, we are not all perfect. In fact I was in a situation where what I said was upsetting to someone and I didn’t deal with it very well and I can own that, and say that yeah, could have dealt with it better and I’m sorry. But you know what I see all too often here? People genuinely not caring the effects they have on other people. Making comments that make others feel bad, then ignoring the people they have made feel bad, and turning the situation around when people try to point things out. Acting like the martyr and saying everyone is nit-picking them. Let me put this as bluntly as I can; if several people (who aren’t all only just jumping on the bandwagon to support a friend)  all find the things you are saying offensive/arrogant/upsetting, then maybe you need to stop, and think about the way you are coming across.

If we are going to call ourselves a community, let’s start acting like one, instead of a school hierarchy. People shouldn’t be worried about expressing an opinion that differs from someone else’s. People shouldn’t feel in the wrong for talking about something that should be open slather. People shouldn’t gang up and railroad others. Just because you have more followers, doesn’t mean you should win an argument, or that your voice should be louder than anyone else’s. It’s one thing to like someone’s sassy reply to an anon hate message, because anon hate is pointless, but when ten people all like an ask someone sent with good intentions and it gets an upsetting reply, that’s a pack mentality and it’s not okay. Two people should be allowed to talk about a touchy subject without having one of them (or both of them) feeling ganged up on by all the support the other person is getting. Just stay out of it, and let them talk it out.

When a community full of should be mature people starts to show the same pack mentality of preschool  children, things need to change. Sure, it’s your blog and you can do what you like, but remember there are actually people at the end of the other computer reading your posts, and whether you want to or not, your actions on your blog influence the type of person you are perceived as. So instead of making excuses, let’s all think about what we are doing, and who we might be hurting in the process. 

Shemay coincidence ‘to! :D 

Natuwa ako sa picture na ‘to. Eh kasi ganito yan, kasama namin sa picture na yan yung 2 tao na malaki ang naging ambag kung bakit hindi na ko single ngayon. Si Dan saka si Bens, sila yung may pakulo nung “phone conference” na naging dahilan ng pag uumpisa ng ligawan stage namin ni Willfred. :”) Mahabang kwento siya, pero basta thankful ako sa kanila at saka never kong makakalimutan yung ginawa nila for us. Part na sila ng love story namin. Kung wala sila, baka wala din “kami”. Sa lahat lahat nang nakasaksi at naging part ng love story namin, sila yung may pinaka malaking part dun at forever kong aalahanin yun. 

TEN REASONS NOT TO MAKE A ROLEPLAY

Just because you can make a roleplay, doesn’t mean you should. Making a roleplay is a long term deal, and you shouldn’t do it for the wrong reasons. So here are my top ten reasons not to make a roleplay.

  1. Because you are bored: Throwing together a quick thing because you have nothing better to do is not the brightest idea. If you are bored, take on a new character, or join a new roleplay
  2. On a whim: We all get rp ideas. I know I get several a day, but if I made a rp on every fleeting idea I’ve had, there was no way I’d keep up with it all. Not to mention, there is no guarantee every idea is a good one, and will work in the long run. 
  3. Because you can do it better: We’ve all been there. Seen a roleplay with potential, but thought we could improve on things. For one, if it’s an original idea, it’s not exactly yours to use. Second, ‘better’ is subjective, and not everyone will agree on what’s the best way to go. Don’t think everyone interested in the first rp will just flock to your 'better’ one. 
  4. Out of spite or revenge: Never, I repeat, never make a roleplay out of spite or revenge. You are just inviting drama. If you are only trying to one up someone who’s wronged you, you are literally building a roleplay on a foundation of drama and angst, and seriously, who needs that?
  5. So you can play a specific character or fc: If you create a roleplay with a one track mind, the roleplay will reflect that. If all you are worried about is the particular character you are jonsing to play, and you put more effort into that, negleting other characters and aspects, it will leave a bad taste in potential member’s mouths.
  6. So you can play out a particular ship: Shipping should never be the basis of any decison you make in the rp world, least of all, the decision to make a rp. 
  7. Because your old rp is dead or inactive: Unless you are aware of the reasons why it died, and can adress those reasons in the new roleplay, the new one will more than likely suffer the same fate. Making a new rp every time your current one is lagging will get you nowhere. 
  8. Because someone else wants you to: If your heart isn’t in it, no amount of tempting and coaxing from other people will change that. Your passion for the project must be there, or you commitment will be lacking. 
  9. To follow the latest fad/trend: Fads and trends are just that.. Tossing your hat into the already over crowded fad ring will just lead to frustration. If you want to be apart of a new trend, join a roleplay, don’t just create even more competition for members. 
  10. For any other reason than the fact you are fully committed to, passionate, and excited about your new project. Only then will you be willing to put in the work in planning, creating, and maintaining an active, thriving roleplay. 
6

Hooray for the 5th Christmas together! :) December is truly an extra special month because we don’t only get celebrate Christmas, but our monthsary as well. We used to dine out on the 24th during the first few years. Pero syempre we need to be home before midnight to celebrate the Christmas eve with our respective families. Later on, nag-advance celebration na lang kami, like what we did this year. We went to Maginhawa’s StrEAT food park on the 23rd, wherein we ate a 14 inch pizza. Isang buong pizza para sa aming dalawa. Haha. Then on the 24th, sa monthsary namin mismo, pumunta siya sa bahay, nag exchange gifts at exchange “handa”. 😅 And once again, I’m thankful that I have someone to celebrate this holiday season with. Though, it’s not actually a big deal if single or not on Christmas day. It’s just that, being with someone on occasions like this is an extra special gift one could receive.

We all get hate.

I’m sure there isn’t a single person reading this who hasn’t received hate before. Sadly, it’s the nature of the internet to forget an actual person is behind the screen. It’s how we deal with that hate that defines us. Do we ignore it, and hold our head up high with dignity? Do we perpetuate hate and retaliate? Do we post it, wanting some public sympathy? Do we respond to legit concerns (even those not framed well) with care? When dealing with hate, remember two things. You are not the only one, and you can decide if it stops there, or you let it snowball. 

over dramatic backstories.

DON’T. DO. IT. It doesn’t give a character depth. It doesn’t make us feel sympathetic to your character. It doesn’t make us go ‘wow what a strong character for dealing with all that’. It’s unnecessary, and just really stupid. Especially when it isn’t important to your character at all. Cause and effect. Nature and Nurture. If your character’s personality hasn’t been changed, shifted, or informed by their past, you’re doing it wrong. 

I don't get the 'don't make a character blog before accepted' hoopla.

I really don’t. I can guarantee you that about ninety percent of the time people aren’t doing it to be cocky. If they start posting and following people, or send asks for the ooc- yes, that’s cocky. However I prefer to send in my application from my character account because:

  • I haven’t logged into my personal in six months give or take
  • I feel like it’s confusing and a bit rude to send them from an active character account
  • I feel like it’s arrogant to send it from my RPH account
  • I like my privacy. Posts on the dash actually link you to the original submitter, and some themes do to, so when it’s rps that post the application, anyone and everyone can see the account
  • It’s neater and looks more professional when you do post applications. 

You can dislike it all you want, but I think your outright hate and claims of it being cocky are not called for. Neither is denying someone just because they made the character account first.