Welcoming Change and Saying Goodbye.
One of the mostly asked questions during a job interview is: Are you flexible to change? or simply any question related to that matter. Of course to ace that interview, we’d probably say yes and try to convince the interviewer (and ourselves) that we’re indeed flexible to change. But when it’s already there, isn’t it frightening? Could we really say that we’re ready for it? Because although change is inevitable, we most likely be frightened about it in some ways.
As I’m capping off this year, I realized that along with welcoming change is saying goodbye to some things.
This year, I graduated from college and had my first job a few months after. Things were scary, exciting and overwhelming at first. I had to bid goodbye to my dependent self as I share some financial responsibilities in our family now that I’m earning. I also bid goodbye to simple pleasures like semestral and Christmas breaks and class suspensions, which I used to look forward back when I was a student. Perhaps my college diploma and my very first salary were two of the most rewarding things I’ve gotten amidst the changes I went through; and frankly these were just bearable changes and goodbyes I’ve encountered so far this year because there’s one thing I find hard to let go of. I’m not totally sure if I’ll share it here on my blog but a part of me felt like I should. (and this is what I’m doing right now)
When I started blogging, my relationship status somehow became public. There was even a point in time when people would leave heartfelt comments on my blog and it was overwhelming knowing that some people were inspired by the kind of relationship that I have. But things change … as always.
Getting straight to the point: we already called it quits and it’s been quite awhile since then.
It wasn’t easy to accept especially because we were in a relationship for almost 5 years.
At first, I hate to refer to him as my “ex” and I refrain from using the term “break up”. When people asked me how things have been between us I would simply say, “friends muna kami,” instead of “break na kami.” Though we’re in good terms and been seeing each other since the break-up, but it is not as often as before. There were times when we would still act as a couple but at the end of the day, it felt like we have to set boundaries knowing that it shouldn’t be like that anymore.
Sometimes I still sat down in front of my computer at work and either listen to heartbreaking songs or watch films which I think I could relate to. But unlike before, I felt less painful now. In my opinion, we made a good couple but maybe some good things have to break apart. I still don’t know what could happen — whether there would be a second chance (which I strongly disbelieved back then) or not. I just pray for the happiness of both of us. After all, I didn’t regret everything.
Well this is a kind of change that made an impact on me this year but I gotta learn to cope up with it. How I wish welcoming change doesn’t have to go along with saying good bye.