Eventually, you stop crying yourself to sleep and the self-blame will dim. The questions as to why you weren’t good enough along with all that lost time spent in the shower retracing your last conversation will also stop too.
However, it will not be easy.
You are still going to wake up with them in your mind for weeks to come and similarly, they will be all you can think about before you sleep. Heartbreak is a bit like love in that respect, you think about them constantly except the thoughts are painful this time around.
Indeed, there are moments where you find shelter from these thoughts, a hot chocolate with a friend or an essay that requires your full attention. Your favourite song will come on but then that shuffled sad song will follow and trigger the thoughts all over again. This is inevitable so when it catches you off guard, let it all out. Do all you must to wash away the sadness. Call a friend, bake some cookies, go and lie on the floor with your dog and tell him you’re glad he wouldn’t ever hurt you like this.
Your heart will miss them so much it will use any excuse to search for them. The same model car they have will drive by while you are laughing away with your friends and suddenly you cannot breathe.
You might see someone with the same curly hair or the way the person sitting in front of you on the bus drums their fingers to a song will remind you of them. This too, is inevitable. Try to appreciate these small quirks because regardless of where you have ended up, these were once pieces of a puzzle that led to you falling in love and that is a beautiful thing.
Most importantly of all, you are going to want to run to them. You are going to want to share your day- whether it be good or bad- purely out of habit. You will miss the way they told you terrible jokes or sent you pictures of your favourite breed dog just to bring a smile to your face for the first time that day. You will miss how excited they got when you were excited- how happy they got when you were happy. Allow yourself to grieve this absence but remind yourself that they aren’t the only person who would be willing to devote so much effort to cheering you up. Let your loved ones know you’re sad and soak in the warmth of their kind words.
And then, suddenly, a few weeks have passed and you think of them for the first time in three days and you realise that you are healing. You start to fill your time with people and things that make you happy. You suddenly crave adventure and new experiences and anything that makes you feel alive again. You stop beating yourself up and start to defend your corner like you are your own best friend. You put your hands up and admit your contribution to the downfall of it all but the difference is, you refuse to defend them any longer. You validate your pain and tell yourself that it is okay to hurt and that you just need time- the art of healing requires the same patience as a few broken bones.
The bond with your friends will strengthen if you let them in- please let them in. Spend time with them and regularly express how much you appreciate them. Feel good about telling loved ones that you love them. Do not shy away from this term because your heart is broken. Please remind yourself that this is not the end for you. Do not console yourself with the whole there are other fish in the sea rubbish because I know that despite how much pain they have caused, you still want them and you will continue to want them for a very long time. Instead, console yourself with the thought that your heart may be in two right now but bones do that sometimes and with a little support, healing is inevitable.
My darling, to break may not be beautiful while you’re going through it but it is, don’t you see? Even a glow stick has to crack to shine; think of how proud you will be when one day you can smile at yourself in the mirror and mean it again.
i have yet to see anyone talk about the corgi wearing phils hoodie in the january pic
this picture is A LOT.
corgi is phil’s favourite dog breed but both of them really like it and you would expect them to be fond over the dog but no. dan is staring at phil. he’s lovingly starting at phil. because he knows how exciting this is for him. i’m???
january is also phil’s birthday month and it’s so cute they decided to give him the corgi (one that’s i wonder how june is gonna be likes wearing his hoodie!!).
Summary: It’s you and Bucky’s 5 year anniversary! Bucky decides to get you a puppy, but you have a surprise for him as well! | Bucky x Reader Warnings: a lil swearing, pregnancy? lol Word count: 2,3 k A/N: ALL THE FEELSSS
Bucky woke up that morning more excited than ever. Today was
your 5 year anniversary and he had a special day planned. He looked over his
shoulder where you were still sleeping, resting on your stomach, one leg
dangling off the bed. He placed a tender kiss to your bare shoulder,
remembering the activities of last night – something you two were definitely
repeating tonight. Bucky strolled to the dresser to slip on a fresh pair of
boxers and simple grey sweatpants.
As he searched the fridge for some eggs, he thought about
his plans once more. Make breakfast, go to the grocery store, come back home,
order some pizza, then cuddle on the couch while watching your favourite movies
and then he would have to go out
again to go get your present. Bucky knew you’d scold him about it, because you
didn’t want any presents or fancy dinners, thus why for the 4th year now you
always stayed at home and did cozy stuff, it’s just the way you liked it. But
this year, Bucky couldn’t help himself. He saw the way you always longingly
look at the pet shop when you pass it. You were a huge animal lover, dogs being
your favourite. He didn’t know if you had a favourite breed, so when he stepped
in the pet shop the other day to look at a potential new family member his eyes
immediately fell to a tiny Pug puppy padding around. The pup was a little boy already
named Charlie. His curled up tail and squashed face made his heart melt and
Bucky knew he had found the one. So when he was frying eggs and bacon he
couldn’t wait to go pick up the little pup later. Bucky smiled to himself as he
felt your arms snake around his waist.
1. Holland Lop - the most cuddly, curious and friendly bunny there is! 2. English Lop - they look and behave like wise, all-knowing magical creatures. 3. Sachsengold - Red like a fox, round and cuddly.