favorites and just this conversation and their dynamic

Aftercare & why it’s not only important but ESSENTIAL

What is aftercare:
      Aftercare is a form of providing comfort for your significant other, usually one who takes on the role of a submissive. It causes them to feel safe, and secure. It is a way to reduce the chance of Subdrop. Aftercare is common in the BDSM scene due to the intensity of the scenes or actions that take place. BUT it is also extremely important in the CGL community as well. 

    Using Aftercare after a punishment has been done is really important. It shows that while you had to punish them, you still love them! You still care about them and their needs and how they are feeling.

    It is also important to know that aftercare is needed by dominants as well, this is not something that is for subs only. Be aware of how your partner is doing before and after a scene or relationship experience. It’s important to be aware of these things to avoid a potential relationship damaging experience. 

     If you ignore subdrop or the needs of your partner, it is possible for them to lose interest. They will become distant. They lose their trust in you. They will begin to find less enjoyment in entering a scene or aspects of the relationship dynamic with you. 

Examples of Aftercare: 

  • Snuggling
  • Drawing them a bubble bath
  • Cuddles and a movie
  • Gentle caressing 
  • Just holding your partner
  • Giving them a bath
  • A massage
  • Using soothing lotions on bruises/marks
  • A short nap with your partner
  • Petting/soothing with words. (i.e. good girl/good boy/ you did so well)
  • Giving a treat (warm milk/tea/some goldfish, etc)
  • Brushing their hair
  • Watching a movie of your partner’s choice
  • Reading a book to them
  • Kissing their marks/bruises/wounds
  • Letting them know they’re safe
  • Wrapping them in their favorite blanket with their favorite stuffed animal
  • Ensuring their comfort item is within reach
  • Treating any potential injuries/wounds
  • Having a deep conversation/heart to heart
  • Reading them a story
  • Preparing a meal for you and them, ensuring they eat and hydrate
  • Answering questions they ask -remaining calm during it.
  • Ask how they are feeling and checking often
  • Validate them
  • Be emotionally available and understanding

For more information about aftercare check out these following links:

>>click here<<
>>click here<<
>>click here<<

Wolfgang & Sun

Originally posted by sensatessource

  • They don’t say much, but they FIGHT for their loved ones
  • They don’t show emotions, but they PROTECT their loved ones
  • They’ll kill for survival, but they’ll DIE for their loved ones
  • They don’t smile much, but when they do, it comes from PURE happiness
  • I was SO HAPPY to see so much interactions between Sun and Wolfgang happened in this season – I loved this pair since Christmas special when they had this whole “if you need help” “I’m fine. If you need some air” “I’m good” then * both smirk * scene
  • There are so many things Sun and Wolfgang share in common
  • Both are the quiet ones in the cluster; they are badasses; and THEY DESERVE PEACE & HAPPINESS – and LOVE!
  • They might be strong on the outside, but they have soft heart inside; and that sometimes make these two people blame themselves for what they’ve done
  • Their mothers loved them; their fathers…one was abusive and the other was ignorant; and their other family members (like Steiner and Joong Ki) just couldn’t leave them in peace
  • One thing they don’t share in common, other than their fighting style, is that when Sun needs help, she asks for help. Whereas Wolfgang would NEVER, EVER ask for help – even when he’s being captured and tortured by Whispers
  • I really hope that in the end, both Sun and Wolfgang find their own peace (except rest-in-peace bullshit, I won’t allow it)

Favorite moments in season 2 (spoilers!)

2x02 Who Am I?

Originally posted by warinfinities

– I like that when they’re visiting each other, neither of them says ‘hi’ or ‘what’s up?’ Instead they just simply have a short eye contact and that’s it. The zoo scene sums up Sun and Wolfgang’s relationship. And we love this quiet-yet-we-know-each-other-by-just-looking-at-one’s-eyes. PERFECTION

– Not just from this scene, but most conversations between Sun and Wolfgang are short, very straightforward & concise…and that’s what makes their dynamic so real and sincere because we know both characters share a deep connection through their unspoken pain

2x03 Obligate Mutualisms


– OK, I love Sun just the way she is. But I absolutely love her when she embodies Wolfang. Two words; and her level of being badass just exploded there. Hats off to Doona’s perfect portrayal of Wolfgang/Max

2x07 I Have No Room In My Heart For Hate


– In graveyard scene, everyone from the cluster talks to her from their heart…from their experience. What differentiates Wolfgang from rest of them is he’s the only one who says ‘the world would be better without’ people like Joong Ki and Wolfgang’s father. Revenge is a double-edged sword. It’s bittersweet. And Wolfgang has already had a taste of revenge..several times. However, I don’t think sweetness of revenge or his skepticism about justice are entire reasons why he says it. I think it’s because deep down he knows Sun is stronger than she thinks; strong enough to not only make Joong Ki pay for her father’s death but also take in the bitterness of revenge

2x08 All I Want Right Now Is One More Bullet (1)


– YES! YES! YES! A thousand times YES! THAT SMIRK IS EVERYTHING! I don’t we need more explanation to this, at all * drops mic *

2x08 All I Want Right Now Is One More Bullet (2)


– OMG. Did they literally finish each other’s sentence? OH YES THEY DID! * drops mic, again *

2x07 I Have No Room In My Heart For Hate & 2x09 What Family Actually Means



– This is not an interaction between them, but I really wanted to go over this little parallel scenes. Another thing I love about Sun and Wolfgang is they don’t use their strengths to bully someone or to just show off. They use them to protect their loved ones when they are treated like shit by shitty people not nicely

2x11 You Want A War?


– I know I didn’t include “I would” in Gala scene. Doesn’t mean I don’t like it; it’s just kinda goes along with what I’ve written in graveyard scene. I didn’t want to be redundant. But yeah, I liked that scene too: Wolfgang in gangsta mode walking by Sun’s side while others are trying to stop her XD

– But back to the point, I personally like this scene more simply because I love when Wolfgang shows his gentle and caring side of him towards his cluster. Like when he cared for Will [x]. Also, we don’t really get to see Sun being afraid a lot (I mean of course, she’s a warrior), so it was kinda good to see her being weak and vulnerable for a moment but then quickly regaining her calmness after her cluster reassures she’s going to be fine. It shows how much Sun trusts her cluster; and how much her cluster cares for her (PLATONIC LOVE RIGHT HERE PEOPLE!)

I would say most interactions between Wolfgang and Sun happened during ‘sharing’ – resulting great action sequences, which also proves (again) that these two are not talkers; they’re fighters. Maybe that’s why they make an awesome pair!

So I’ve watched Dunkirk for the 3rd time.

(This post focuses on Aneurin and Fionn’s characters)

And I gotta say, everything I felt during my first screening was still there. Apart from the obvious, amazing, job that was done with the cinematography, the thing that stroke me the most was the first scene between Fionn and Aneurin. I’m a people person, you see, and when I saw them having a conversation just by looking at each other I was completely in awe. 

The fact that they speak without exchanging a word, that they move and do things together without having to talk about it was just impressive. It really got me absorbed by them, by their dynamic. 

I didn’t know who they were (as actors) before and I remember thinking: wait a minuuuute, who are those two guys?! The answer to this question inevitably got me where we are today. And I am so glad it did!

Now, my favorite scene is the boat scene, when Alex, Tommy and Gibson join a group of highlanders to seek refuge on an abandoned boat. It’s a stressful and then heart-breaking scene, but it’s just so, so beautiful. The way Gibson looks at Tommy, the way they still speak to one another when there are other men around them. Gosh I loved it. And the tension. The accusation. Aneurin’s cute little accent (I am French so the first time I heard it I was amused, he doesn’t sound French at all but it’s so so cute). The way Tommy fiercely protects him. 

He, after all, has that special connection with Gibson, since the beginning. And he’s also very aware of the fact that Gibson saved his life in the destroyer, and soon after that, tried to help him again by throwing a rope for him to hang on to.

This duo really got me. It’s under my skin now. Nye and Fionn did a brilliant job, and I couldn’t be more proud.

Also, I’m gonna need that DVD asap.  

anonymous asked:

Question: what does it mean for (cis) wlw to be "tops" or "bottoms"? dont you have to switch anyway?? like my gf and i just switch positions based on like what were doing right idk just what do people mean by that

Hello! And cool question!
The top/bottom conversation is one of my favorites because I like to study and play with dynamics within sapphic relationships.

While a lot of people inside of sexual dynamics switch as you described (these lovely folks are switches), there are people who dominantly receive, these are bottoms. Bottoms get pleasure mainly on receiving and not all bottoms are interested in giving at all, and we’re often called “pillow princesses.“ That term has not-so-nice implications of selfishness.

Bottoming and being submissive are not even necessarily the same thing either, as some bottoms are very dominant and tell their partner exactly what they want when they want it and how they want it. This is typically called “topping from the bottom.”

People who mainly give are tops, that’s not to say they don’t want to be touched (these are touch-me-nots which for some is derogatory but is an identity all the same!) just that their typical dynamic is giving. Some tops get pleasure from pleasing or servicing their partner (often called service tops) and some need to be touched to get pleasure or orgasm.

As I said with bottoms, topping is not the same thing as being dominant, as a top could be completely at the will of their partner which would technically make them submissive, but ultimately dynamics are up to the partners or group, and identities are up to the self !

There are lots of fun dynamics and names inside of sapphic relationships, but there’s a fun rundown! Let me know if you have any questions ❤️

Hope this helped some
-Mod Myaia

6/15/17 recs

Been busy lately, sorry.

Please remember to heed tag warnings before reading. 

1. Victor’s Secret (You Know You’re Supposed to Keep It) by LemonSchwaySchway || Rated E, 4.2k (WIP)

Victor is a premiere designer of some of the world’s most scintillating lingerie. Problem is, he’s been creatively blocked for months now. Enter: Yuuri Katsuki, neither a designer nor a particularly fashionable person, but the son and heir to a large fabric production conglomerate who’s decided he’d try for the internship at Victor’s studio in hopes of getting close to the greatest idol of his young life.

It seems, however, that their futures might be laced together in more ways than one.

  • Comment: I’m typically a sucker for fashion AUs in general, and this one is certainly a spicy start to a lingerie-based AU. *chinhands* I’m interested to see how it well go on. 

2.  the one i’ll slay; the other slayeth me by thishasbeencary || Rated E, 2.8k (WIP)

When he moves to America, Yuuri auditions to be part of an on-ice production of Midsummer Night’s Dream. He finds out that the show stars Viktor Nikiforov, and is shocked, excited and scared by that, because Viktor is his long time crush and idol. It doesn’t just end there, though, because it seems the magic isn’t just within the show, and there isn’t just one Viktor.

  • Comment: Based off the recent official art, this fic promises vicyuuvic and *clenches fist* that is one of my favorite things, okay. The premise makes me curious though, because how did the situation come about in the first place, and how will it resolve? Also how will this dynamic be developed??? 
  • :3c

3. conversations Chris absolutely related to Yuuri at his wedding reception, in front of god and everyone by opalish || Rated T, 2.1k (WIP)

Look, he’s earned this.

  • Comment: opalish strikes again humour and crack so quality that you may fail a drug test. 

4.  Starry Eyed by galixr, withoutwingsx || Rated G, 12.2k

Yuuri Katsuki has spent most of his life surrounded by the stars. Working in an observatory in Detroit, an unexpected visitor brings the constellations even closer.

  • Comment: Cute. Standard soulmate plot, with a bonus of planetarium worker Yuuri and actor Victor.

anonymous asked:

Totally love your blogggg *scream at every drarry conversation* this is just sooo adorable oh and by the way u do have any top!draco fics recs?

Thank you, you’re so sweet! And of course :) These are my favorite top!Draco fics. I often don’t pay a lot of attention to top/bottom dynamics, and many fics I like have switching, but these stand out because they’re- well, they’re smoking hot (and mostly pwp). So enjoy! 

Unhook the Stars (jad, 72k): Draco’s a professional Dom and Harry hires him. It’s one of my all-time favorite fics, and it’s so fucking delicious and dirty and darkly funny that it makes me smile whenever I think about it. 

Endowment (dictacontrion, 11k): Absolute perfection. It takes foreplay and elevates it to an art form, as Draco spends most of it preparing Harry for his huge cock (hung!Draco is a wonderful and woefully underrepresented trope) 

Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) (dictacontrion, 17.5k): Draco has to fuck Harry to unlock his Parseltongue abilities and get the map to the Chamber of Secrets. He’s such a giver.

Another Mask Behind You (lettered, 117k): Draco’s working as a prostitute and Harry unknowingly hires him (Draco came up with a potion that slightly alters his appearance). There’s some switching, but it’s predominantly (incredibly hot) top!Draco

Five Ways Draco Malfoy Tops (lettered, 3k): A gorgeously written fic that explores the myriad interpretations of “topping.”

Let Me See You Stripped (Down to the Bone) (traintracks, 24k): Harry & Draco are strippers who are paired up to dance together. 

It’s the Love of the Chase (That Created the Ride) (lumosed_quill, 14k): Harry and Draco are Auror partners and find that the adrenaline rush of their missions translates quite nicely into other domains.

Touch Me Fall (lumosed_quill, 23k): Harry hires Draco to try to get him out of his system. It works about as well as you’d expect.

Rough Magic (birdsofshore, 28k): Draco’s magic is going wild, and Harry finds himself unable to resist getting swept up in its feral, primal energy.

Aural Gratification (birdsofshore, 11k): Harry’s listening to the wizarding equivalent of books on tape, and he finds himself getting all hot and bothered by the narrator’s voice. Wonder who it could be?

Punishment (dysonrules, 15.5k): Harry loses a wager in a Quidditch game and has to allow Draco to spank him. Has to? Let me rephrase. Harry revels in it as Draco spanks him.

Paratrooping (aka Bangin for Roof) (gracerene, 3k): Harry needs a place to stay, so he decides to fuck Draco so he can stay at his flat (also because he really likes Draco, of course)

Let’s Go Outside (cryptonym, 24k): Harry and Draco are both super into fucking in public. Cue exhibitionistic adventures.

Preparation & Blush (closet_bound, 7.5k): Draco tells (then shows) Harry exactly how awesome gay sex can be.

Symbiosis (fireflavored, 20k): An eighth year fic in which Draco asks Harry to help protect him from bullies in exchange for tutoring in Potions (and other areas).

Fast Forward, Two Steps Back (Emmagrant01, 36k): Draco supposedly died in Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirements, but really he was brought eleven years into the future. Cue angsty professor Potter and snarky, sexy Draco. 

And if you’re so inclined, here are my favorite bottom!Draco fics 

okay as much as i ADORE slowburn meteorstuck davekat and the much rarer meteorstuck rosemary, i NEED more dave-and-rose-figure-out-how-to-be-siblings.

like. their dynamic in act 6 is just so wonderful and i love it. rose teasing dave about everything. dave butting into all of her conversations and getting away with it. one of my favorite lines from the retjohn timeline is rose’s “Holy Shit. Can someone come push this nerd off the lilypad?” because it’s SUCH a sister thing to say.

look at that. is there anything that screams siblings more than that.

Give me Rose teasing Dave about his suuuuper obviously not-a-bromance, but they both know that she’s really helping him through his Gay Crisis™.

Give me Dave subtly steering Rose off alcohol, because he’s just being too annoying for her to drink in peace. (because i don’t think vriska ‘fixed’ it, as much as her presence got dave and karkat to stop fixating on terezi so they could see Rose needed help.)

give me Dave pulling the “when I was you’re age” card like every damn day.

Give me Rose retaliating by calling dave an ‘old man’ and ‘outdated’ and constantly bugging the crap out of him.

give me actual serious deep conversations late at night between the two of them about addiction and discovering your sexuality and aloof parents and fear of growing up, but it’s all framed in mutual sarcasm and insincerity.


give me dave and rose not knowing what to do with this information at first.

give me dave and rose trying to just continue their friendship as normal.

give me dave and rose sometimes stomping all over the others’ boundaries and sometimes backing off way too quickly, because they haven’t quite figured out where the line is yet.

give me dave and rose slowly realizing that no one will ever understand them quite like the other does, not just because they’re the only humans there, but because they’re on the same wavelength and speak the same language easy as breathing.

One of my favorite meta things about this show is the weird little glimpses of the pre-stream dynamics we get from time to time. And yes, the latest Talks Machina had the very cute reveal that Vex and Percy have been kinda crushing since before the show started, but I’m also cracking up over them talking about how Percy latched onto Keyleth from the start like, “Ah yes, finally, a noble and titled individual with whom I can have civilized conversation!” while Keyleth is just nervous-laughing like, “Let’s… let’s not, I swear I’m not associated with this guy, I’m so sorry everyone.”

anonymous asked:

i know u probably get a lot of osomatsu asks, but do you have any favorite relationships between the brothers/headcanons? i think oso/choro would still be close but kinda bicker a lot since choro matured a little as they got older (even tho he's still a big neet l m a o)-- also is it jst me or does ichi/kara kinda seem like a love-hate relationship?? like ichi will yell at him but when kara is getting ignored he'll go over and passive-agressively chill/listen to him talk to make him happy??

UM…THIS GOT REALLY LONG SO I’LL JUST SHOVE IT UNDER A READMORE… Read on if you want to see me ramble about my love for these nerds????? 

Keep reading

ocegion  asked:

what was your first ship, and what fandom is it from?, what’s a ship you like that most people don’t?, what is the most overrated ship, in your opinion?, what’s your favorite headcanon/canon moment of sastiel?

  • What was your first ship, and what fandom is it from?

It was Ichigo Kurosaki/Rukia Kuchiki from Bleach. Bro, listen. I had an embarrassing anime phase. And Ichigo/Rukia was a great dynamic with forced buddyship, loyalty, sassy conversations, valuing courage and honor in the other one. It didn’t become canon (a choice I don’t understand but I’ve given up on Bleach since a long time bruh) but I’m not particularly sad about it because it really, really works as a friendship and that kind of how I prefer to view them.

A bit like soulmates but in a platonic/friendship sense? As in “you complete me, you’re my other half, I love you but I’m not in love with you and I will never be” sense? It’s hard to describe how I feel about them right now.

  • What’s a ship you like that most people don’t?

I’m not in touch in OUAT fandom but I’m still baffled that Emma/Lily doesn’t have more shippers! We’re talking Yin and Yang here! Polar opposites! Fates deeply entwined in one another! Long lost friends who betrayed each other and rekindled through adversity! “You’re the light to my darkness, the hate to my love” kind of stuff! Fandom usually digs this stuff and I want MOAR!

  • What is the most overrated ship, in your opinion?

Oh boy, I’m going to die on this hill but for me it’s Sam/Gabriel. Especially when it tends to erase Kali from Gabriel’s life or make her unimportant (lmao).

  • What’s your favorite headcanon/canon moment of Sastiel?

I’m going to be blunt and declares that nothing makes me shout in glee more than dark Sastiel. I like the peace, the fluff and the tranquility that surrounds the ship but hot damn, give me more moments when they torture assholes like Metatron or when they do shady stuff on the behalf of saving their loved ones because that what I deeply appreciate with Sam and Cas - it’s how similar they can be when they feel cornered and how they are so quick to unleash their inner darkness, which they don’t acknowledge like Dean does most of the times.

Don’t get me wrong, I like cozy, slow and steady Sam/Cas a lot but ruthless, violent, dark and bloody Sam/Cas makes my heart goes “YEAH BOI”.

Send me ships asks?

anonymous asked:


Some thoughts. I can do some thoughts. Very random thoughts okay for you, Anon?

The ‘Previously on Once Upon a Time…’ segment! Out of Emma’s therapy session, they only kept the lines that completely resonate with people in the closet. 

They took it even further by doing this…

I mean, if the show were a Tumblr post, they’d have to use the anti tags right there.

Then there were moments like these. Where are you going to hear lines like “Emma, I really don’t think chasing a bird is an effective form of therapy.” if not on Once Upon a Time? It’s starting to have a little bit more of these moments where we’re allowed to see the absurdity of it all. Where we can look at the show using our contemporary perspective.

“You look so much like that princess from that Disney movie where I identified with your boyfriend so hard. Like, so hard. Awkward.” Emma’s thoughts, probably.

For anyone who doesn’t think they’re using Jung and Freud to write this show, the hints are about as subtle as Swan Queen - not very.

Couples who share banter, apples and shadows are clearly meant to be. Especially if they start out as friends or sisters. Thieves or part of the establishment. Rich or poor. In good days and in bad days. In sickness and in health…

Keep reading

I just posted a gifset about this, but basically this is how I want the “Damon doesn’t know my favorite flowers/drink” ~thing to play out:

It’s a microcosm of what’s been happening with their dynamic this season, namely the fact that Bonnie is (finally) learning what she deserves in terms of love, in terms of being loved just because. It’s something that’s echoed across different dynamics she’s been in this season. And that echo always seems to find its way to bounce off Damon (ie. Nora telling her she’s beautiful and that it’s nice to be loved just because, in the same episode as Bonnie having her “What a nice way to be greeted: Hi Bonnie, I need something,” phone conversation with Damon.)

So that’s one side of it and what we’ve seen expounded on by the narrative. The other side has only been hinted at so far this season, and that’s the fact that Damon does love her just because, he does know her.

In that gifset we see that Damon can recognize that Bonnie is in “I’m going to die, so I have to wring every ounce of happiness from my last days, even if it means often swallowing down my very natural pain and fear” mode. He has seen it before, and more importantly, he’s seen what she’s like when faced with death without those walls up. Because despite everything, she’s trusted him and shown it to him, again and again.

So that’s what I want Damon to say. I want him to say he’s sorry that he doesn’t know her favorite flowers/coffee (or alternatively, prove that he does know them), but that just because he doesn’t know that, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t know her. 

He knows that she’s terrified, and feels helpless yet again, and he knows that even though she’s trying to be happy and trying to get all the joy out of her last days with Enzo that she can, when she’s not distracting herself with him, all she feels is scared, and alone.

I want him to tell her that he can learn her favorite drink, her favorite flowers. That he wants to learn them. But that he already knows the most important things about her, and she should know some about him by now too: he’s not going to let her die. He’s not interested in her pretending, her resignation to die. He’s going to fight for her, to come up with plan after plan and do the impossible yet again, to save her. That he never should have left, that he’ll never leave her alone again.

Top 20 posts you may have missed

Remember when I had a good blog? Back when I wasn’t making shit posts about Asami’s bangles and carrots?

Idk, I kind of feel bad about my drop-off in quality lately, so I decided to do a quick roundup of posts you may have missed around here. I tried not to link any linked on my meta roundup post, though that certainly has my “best” work.

In no particular order:

  1. The ship, she has sailed” (my knee-jerk reaction to the end of LoK)
  2. I am Tenzin” (yes, technically linked to my meta page but this took my entire soul to write)
  3. Direct rebuttal/Asami defense post
  4. My favorite gifset: shows how Asami processes things internally
  5. Is Asami a Mary Sue?
  6. queertoons and I take on the patriarchy
  7. Quick thoughts on Raiko
  8. I love this show
  9. Should more characters have died?
  10. Conversation about Tenzin/Role of Air Nation
  11. Complicated familial dynamics (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ (origin post)
  12. On “privilege”
  13. On the “Korrasami is just a political statement” criticism
  14. “Korra’s whipped” rebuttal
  15. On Korra threatening Baatar
  16. LoK vs. ATLA
  17. Masami 2.0’s narrative value
  18. Thoughts on Hiroshi
  19. On Kuvira/Korra’s “future”
  20. Definitive ranking of Beifongs (need something funny in here)
Fandom and Positivity

Here are some important things:

Thing One: Positivity in fandom is such an important thing to me. You want to yell from the rooftops about how much you love your favourite character? About how your favourite show saved your life? Dude, I am right there with you. And if someone comes along and harshes your squee or tells you that you can’t like a thing? You let me know and I’ll whip out the rolled-up newspaper to give ‘em a bop on the nose.

Thing Two: Sometimes posts under the banner of “positivity” actually wind up making vulnerable fans feel more unwelcome in fandom. An example: “I love the new female characters in season 12 of RvB!” is an awesome statement, and I will totally back you up on that and write a bajillion fics featuring them. On the other hand: “I don’t get why people are complaining, the female characters in season 12 of RvB are written way better than in previous seasons” is a bit more of a jerk statement, because it’s using positivity (good female characters!) to shout down/be dismissive of the folks who think “female characters exist” is a bit of a low bar for celebration, or were maybe uncomfortable with the bad-drivers/lol-butts/relegated-to-the-background stuff in the show this season.

Basically, it’s understandable to feel uncomfortable if some folks come up and say “our favorite show did something hurtful”. And if you want to double-up on your positivity in response to that, go for it! By all means, do something fun: start an appreciation week for your fave character, write a fic, start an RP. Nobody’s saying you’ve even got to acknowledge the negative sides to your favorite show.

But you’ve definitely gotta avoid knee-jerk attacks on other fans, especially if your only message is “I WASN’T OFFENDED SO YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER.”

What it boils down to: fandom seems to have a really weird definition of the word “hate”. Someone saying, “I don’t like it when X makes rape jokes” isn’t hating on X; if anything, they’re responding to X’s hate that’s being directed at them. On the other hand, someone saying, “I don’t like Y because she’s such a [gendered slur]” is definitely hating on that character–there’s no self-defense going on there at all, they’re just being nasty and misogynistic. That’s an important distinction. The latter might warrant a defensive post from fans of Y. The former definitely doesn’t–fans of X should probably stay out of it.

Basically: I make my grumpy-posts when fans are being attacked in some way–either directly (“fans who hate on X need to stop watching the show!”) or indirectly (using slurs to describe characters that a lot of fans hear directed at them on a regular basis). I never do it to harsh someone’s squee or to hate on a character or fan I dislike. I rarely even do it when it’s just a one-time offender–if someone makes a crappy post, more often than not I’ll just scroll on by and maybe think about unfollowing.

But when it’s someone who makes the same mistakes again and again, or someone who has a lot of sway in fandom, or if it’s just a conversation we’ve had a billion times before, I’ll make a post about it. And if I mention another fan by name you’d better believe it’s because a lot of folks have made it known to me that they’re being hurt by that person.

Most times, the hurt is unintentional and can be cleared up with a minimum of fuss, and we can all get back to our positive happy place. But just, y'know, try to be aware of the social dynamics and context at play here: if you’re making a positive post about your favorite show, are you making it in order to provoke the folks who were hurt by that show? Have you incorrectly labelled frustrated self-defense as an attack on your faves? Are you more focused on protecting creators from fans than vice-versa?

It’s hard to be diplomatic. I get that. A lot of us hang out online so much in part because we’re maybe a little inept in the social department. But it’s very, very easy to check yourself every now and then and ask whether what you’re posting is going to be kind and mindful of more vulnerable fans. That’s the priority.

madgesgoldpin  asked:

Do you have a favorite part of hamlet?

act V is just so intense and ridiculous at the same time, and i love seeing different interpretations of the scene. horatio’s near suicide is so, so sad, and his conversation with hamlet as he dies gets me every time.
also, i enjoy seeing how hamlet’s bawdy conversation (if it can even be called that) with ophelia in III.ii is interpreted by the actors playing the pair. that very brief scene is bizarre, and can really tell a lot about their relationship dynamic based on the way the conversation is presented.