PROM FROM BLAYNE (isx) <333333


i’ve been waiting like all of my grade 12 year to get asked to prom, and tonight made my entire year. I know that probably sounds really stupid.. but prom actually means a lot to me. I’ve been talking to Blayne and Tat at lunch the past couple weeks about how i wanted to get asked. How i wanted it to be personalized, cute, public, romantic, something that would mean a lot to me, something that all always remember, and tonight.. ALL of that and more got accomplished! i really am speechless so this all might seem like a bunch of words or whatever, haha sorry if thats the case. I just really wanted to say thank you and i love you all, all of you that messaged me for him, that shows a lot and means a lot! :$

TO BLAYNE: i know that i’ve repeated myself over and over haha, and i already did talk to you off of Tumblr but i wanted to say thank you again. You really truly do mean so much to me, and the way you asked, the picture, getting everyone to ask for you to message me, ALL of it, made me feel like the most special girl! I love you more then words could ever explain xoxo, i promise to always stick by your side and be here for you. I will never forget this night, and get ready to have the most amazing night at prom baby! <3

i'm so fucking done with everything.

i am so sick and tired of getting left out of everything, no one actually realizes how upset, sad, unhappy, and lonely i really am. i am going to go back to my old ways and no one really is going to stop me. i wish for once someone would be there for me unconditionally and not just walk away like everyone else. i really don’t give a fuck anymore about a lot of the people that i used to, if you mean something to me and i actually want you in my life then you’ll know it but if you’re just gonna keep being a shitty fucking friend and just continuously keep walking away then FUCK YOU. i am not going to be there for people who walk all over me, only talk to me when they want something or need something, and never actually bother to ask to hangout with me or bother to put any effort in. i’m so fucking done with telling everyone i am okay, well i’m not. maybe if someone actually opened there eyes they would see that every second i just want to break down and cry and i just need someone there for me, who isn’t going to walk away, that i’ve started doing what i promised i wouldn’t do again, but lets be realy here no one cares enough to make me stop. i wanna say fuck it to everything and just leave, i want to end it i dont ever want to come back. there are only a few people i actually love and care about. i’m so sick of everyone shoving there relationship down my throat, like yeah i understand i don’t have a boyfriend and i’m lonely as fuck and i’ve fucked up in the past, but i wasn’t the one who cheated or walked away, i loved them and i never stopped and they left me. there is no need to keep telling me and telling me that over and over again that i’m a horrible person, that i shouldn’t have picked them to like or love, that i can do better, i fucking love them so shut the fuck up. i’m tired of people always bringing me down and telling me i can’t do stuff and don’t support me. i'm so done with people telling me i am fat, ugly, a cunt a this or that, that i should dress better or wear this or look like that, well i’m so fucking sorry i’m not perfect. you inconsiderate fucks.  i always try my hardest to support everyone and stand by them through everything but when it comes to being there for me everyone just turns a blind eye. i’ve opened my eyes a lot lately and seen that the people who said that they care about me and will be there for me lied just like everyone else. i want at least one person to believe in me and believe in the goals, and dreams, and everything else i want. i just want a true friend. i want someone who is going to love me for me and not fucking walk away or leave or be a fake ass bitch. i want to feel okay again, i want to know what it feels like to smile again and really truly be happy. i don’t want to feel this continuous numb depressed feeling anymore.  i’m always there for everyone, and i will continue to do so. Because i know how much it fucking sucks and hurts when no one is there for you, so if anyone needs someone to talk to you can talk to me. i will be here for you. i wont walk away.

dear lovers

I know some of you probably don’t even care or maybe haven’t even noticed BUT, I clearly haven’t been on here in awhile..and the only reason for that is because at my new house, I don’t have Internet..and when I do I can barely use it, so I’m sorry about that :(

So I’m gonna update everything and try and get on here as much as I can!


the anger that i have right now. 
dont believe shit people say, you can only trust yourself and family. 
“i’ll always be here" 
really? cause you are all pieces of shit
go fuck yourselves

for the past 4 years ive done nothing but care about what other people think and what people want in there lives. what the fuck about me? for the first time in my life im doing something for me so anybody who wants to talk shit, go right ahead. i dont give two shits if it seems like im being selfish or don’t wanna go out and drop 300 a night on getting hammered or whatever the fuck there is to do. how about for two seconds somebody stops to think that maybe mommy and daddy isn’t handing me money? i have to work my fucking ass off for everything that i have. working and being in college full time isn’t a fucking game. its real life. Or that i have all this free time on my hands to go out and pop bottles. im doing this for me and my family and anybody who doesn’t understand that doesnt deserve a place in my life. im not trying to put myself above anybody else because i sure as hell am not but alot of people need to get a grip on reality and open there fucking eyes. the people who walk out for bullshit reasons are the biggest fucking hypocrites and liars. why don’t you grow a pair or actually act like adult? "don’t worry you can always count on” lmfao makes me laugh. 

i’m not upset certain people have left, if anything im happy that they are gone. i don’t need them and it actually makes me laugh that they think i care. lol. funny. dont be so high on yourself and get off that thrown you think you deserve to sit on. 

what pisses me off is that even after they are gone they try to come back or talk like they know whats going on. why doesnt everybody mind there own fucking business. thats the problem, keep your opinions to your fucking self. everybody has there own fucking shit going on, so maybe instead of walking out or talking shit you should wonder why that person is acting a certain way or saying certain things. 

fuck anybody who tries to bring me down, and to the people who used to be in my life, thank you for leaving. im so much happier without you fake fucks.