favorite equestrians

Unexpected Aspects of the Types

ENFP: They actually crave schedules and structure like nobodies business, if and only if it revolves around their passions. 

INFP: The “manic pixie dream girl” stigma is so wrong. 90% of them are more along the lines of “embittered memelords” with a splash of off-beat and sensible fashion. 

INTP: They’re actually excellent in social situations that they throw themselves into. Your odd aggressiveness and shouting is amusing and weirdly charismatic. 

ENTP: You’ll have to murder them a thousand times before they’ll admit that they actually DO crave harmony and peace more than chaos; Debate and verbal jousting (and memes) is just their way of getting there. 

ENFJ: The worst time management skills. Worse than all of the P’s put together, bar none. You got stars in your eyes and not a single “no” in your throats and it often leaves you ragged busybodies from over committing yourselves. 

INFJ: Despite their ‘mysterious and secretive nature’ stigma, if you engage them in a deep conversation about their passions, 9 times out of 10 they will splay their soul to you even though you met 5 minutes ago at a college party.

ISFJ: They’re known for being the kindly, grandmotherly type that just wants the best for their friends, but the flip side is they’re all basic bitches that secretly crave being a tool. They’re usually just too nice to go Full Douche™, praise the Lord. 

ESFJ: Despite being known as the social butterfly who can grace any situation, they’ll 100% ask you a thousand clarifying questions about something arbitrary and still act like you’re the weird one.

ESTJ: Weirdly enough, more often than not, they’re one of the most socially graceful and self-aware people in the room. That, or they’re utterly cringeworthy. Not really any in between. Just don’t get them started on politics (I’m begging you). 

ISTJ: Despite the ‘emotionless Traditionalist™ robot’ stigma, although they can’t offer consistent emotional output, all of the ones I’ve met are some of the most emotionally stable, mature, and available people I’ve ever met. 

ENTJ: Your responsible, efficient, and commanding CEO of a friend is actually the biggest procrastinator in the game, bar none. It’s hidden under a few hundred layers of self-confidence, but they need the stress of the last minute to feel anything in this world. 

INTJ: Massive internal war between fearless, emotionless sociopathy, and caring so deeply for a select few people that they’d give up every ambition to follow them to the ends of the earth without a single plan. TL;DR, their black and icy hearts are secretly hearts of gold and they absolutely abhor that about themselves. 

ESFP: Your favorite quick-talking, loud-mouthed, social explosion with all the friends is probably pretty lonely on the inside. Almost every ESFP I’ve met has huge commitment issues (big and pretty accurate stereotype), but few people realize it usually comes from self-knowledge of their sporadic nature, and they keep people at an emotional distance as a result, so they don’t end up getting hurt. Advice: letting people in and trying to make it work is infinitely better than loneliness in a crowd. 

ISFP: The EXTJ’s WISH they could be as soul-crushingly terrifying as your favorite superwholockian, equestrian painter friend when somebody’s crossed their family or friends. 

ESTP: The “sex, drugs, drinking, and more sex” cliche with ESTP’s is so dumb because literally every ESTP I know doesn’t care about alcohol or sex more than any other person I’ve met, but they ARE infinitely more obsessed with ultimate frisbee and bridge jumping. 

ISTP: The calm, rational, logical side of Ti is thrown completely out of the driver’s side window when they’re behind the wheel, because these hoes have the worst road rage I’ve ever seen, without exception.

equestrian asks

1. dappled/fleabitten or ‘plain’ greys?
2. what are three facts about your horse?
3. are your parents 'horsey’?
4. long or short manes & tails?
5. favorite type of mane/tail braid?
6. favorite horse show to spectate online or in person?
7. favorite horse show to show at?
8. favorite saddle brand?
9. black or brown tack?
10. favorite genre (or specific songs) to listen to while riding at home/before showing your horse?
11. do you ride w/ a helmet or no helmet?
12. favorite equestrian youtubers/bloggers?
13. age/breed/discipline of your horse?
14. what do you typically eat the mornings of a horse show?
15. favorite horse markings?
16. your opinion on saddle seat?
17. favorite discipline to watch?
18. favorite discipline to ride?
19. your dream horse would be/looks like?
20. your opinion on grooms?

My Favorite George Morris Quotes

“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.”

“I hope you’re clapping for the horse, because the rider doesn’t deserve it.”

“Cluck and use your spur; don’t pump! You look like an ape in labor in the top limb of a tree.”

“I don’t need gadgets. I have legs. I have a seat. I have hands.”

“They can buy palaces, they can buy the best horses, they can buy the best trainers, but they can’t buy a seat… they can’t buy that. They have to earn it.”

“Get your hands out of your lap: it’s equitation, not masturbation!”

“Don’t be afraid to show off on course. You will be rewarded for brilliance. Not reckless brilliance, but natural brilliance. Don’t be a sheep.”

“Lateral work gets the horse round from behind. He’s dancing from behind… Like Miley Cyrus, dancing with his hind end.”

“There is no such thing as an impossible distance. Make it work.”

2

I don’t care if Monday’s blue,
Tuesday’s gray and Wednesday too,
Thursday I don’t care about you,
It’s Friday I’m in love!

One more day till New Years Eve! Have fun but be careful out there. I can’t wait to see what 2017 has to offer for all of us!

Be well and Happy New Year!!!!
Marty (Raleightransplant)

Intro to Upper Class Culture, Part 2: Equestrian Sports

Ahh, equestrianism. It’s a topic I reluctantly know more about than I ever cared to because my boyfriend is obsessed with horses. He owns seven of them now: two Thoroughbreds, two Arabians, one Andalusian, one Appaloosa, and one Quarter Horse. They’re all fairly versatile breeds and pretty popular breeds, often used in equestrian sports. If you’re like me you’ll probably think “A horse is a horse, does it matter?” and the answer is that it matters greatly as horses come in varying sizes, shapes and have different talents specific to their breed.

Although horses have been used in everything from plowing fields to herding cattle (and still are!) I include equestrianism in “Upper Class Culture” because horses are a very expensive investment. I asked D how much it would cost at the very minimum to take care of a horse per year and he estimated at the very least three or four thousand dollars. I asked him how much he spent per horse every year and he laughed and declined to comment, but when I asked if it was more than ten thousand he laughed and said, “A lot more”. I did a little research online and found some sources saying 15K was a decent chunk of change to spend on a horse, so I’ll assume D is spending more since spendthrift isn’t one of his many good qualities. Let’s estimate he spends 20K/year on each horse. That’s $140,000 per year on a hobby. When is the last time you dropped over a hundred grand on a hobby?

So, now that we’ve established how grossly expensive this is, it’s time to learn what people do with these walking money pits! I’m going to focus on a few different activities you can do with horses that are particularly “upper crust” and there are a lot more but as it is this is going to be a pretty lengthy post. The horse industry in the US alone is a $102 billion+ industry so there’s just a lot of facets, and if I don’t cover one you’re interested in message me and maybe I’ll do a “Equestrian Sports Part 2”.

Horse Racing

The one that’s on everyone’s mind right now! For the first time in 36 years we have a Triple Crown winner, American Pharoah, the beautiful thoroughbred who beat the odds and won it all. Horse racing is a massive industry, mainly because of the gambling that goes along with it, and is probably America’s favorite equestrian sport. There are thousands upon thousands of horse races across the US per year but they vary from very seedy to very classy, and I’ll assume if you’re reading this you’re going to the latter.

Horse racing is pretty straight forward. The gates open and horses, ridden by a jockey, run for a certain distance. Races are generally limited to one different breed of horse (or a couple types) because otherwise there would be unfair advantages between breeds. The most common types of race horses are Thoroughbreds, Arabians and Quarter Horses. The Triple Crown, a set of three races that begins with the Kentucky Derby, then goes to the Preakness and finally Belmont Stakes, is for Thoroughbred horses.

Now, if you’re attending a big fancy horse racing event such as a leg of the Triple Crown, you’re free to dress up like you’d imagine people do. Colorful Lilly Pulitzer sundresses and over the top hats are completely acceptable. For men, tailored suits, bow ties and flower lapels are always classic. If you’re with someone who is upper class, generally you won’t be sitting in the stands but will be seated somewhere more comfortable, so although everyone will be cheering at the end of the race, don’t get too rowdy lest you scare the bourgeois.

Polo

Nothing says preppy quite like Polo. It evokes images of men on horseback, bright grassy fields, and, if you’re like me, Ralph Lauren. Polo originated in Persia and was brought to India where it was eventually taught to British military officers and brought back to the UK and via the UK much of the rest of the world. It’s most popular today in Argentina, the US and the UK. Polo is played on horseback with a small, solid plastic ball on the ground that is hit by riders armed with wooden mallets who try to shoot the ball into (weirdly large) goals. There are four players on each team (3 in arena). The riders ride “Polo Ponies” who are frequently rotated out and look absurdly small to be carrying full grown adults. It’s more fun to watch than you’d assume, and actually really fun and a little bit scary to play (10/10 would recommend).

Event Dress: Dress nicely, but don’t look too fancy. A nice sundress, trousers and a good blouse, something flowy, light and summery is all good. Keep it classy, preppy is always a good option. And for all that is good and decent in this world do not come dressed as stereotypically western or British-no top hats or cowgirl boots. No. A word about heels: don’t wear stilettos. Wear wedges. Why? You’ve all seen “Pretty Woman”, don’t feign naivety with me. During the halftime and at the end of the game, it’s tradition for the public to be called onto the field to help fill in the holes left by the horse hooves. If you’re in stilettos you’re going to make walking in the grass harder on yourself, one, and two, make the grass even worse, and three, not be able to participate in the fun part of the game for the spectators. Also, no big crazy hats. I saw some American women do this on a British reality show and cringed. Don’t be those women. Keep things simple and classy, fashion wise.

I’m going to limit this post to those two things because I think those are the most important to touch on. If you’re ever being brought to another equestrian event (dressage, eventing, show jumping, etc.) then you can never go wrong with a nice tight pair of jeans, riding boots and a good cashmere sweater. If you get invited to go riding with someone, do take the opportunity because it’s a lot of fun and less scary the more you do it. Horses are wonderful, very loving and intelligent animals so it’s easy to see how people get roped into pouring their hard earned cash into them.

A little vocab and then we’ll almost be done

Foal: A baby horse

Filly: A female baby horse

Colt: A male baby horse

Suckling: A baby horse still nursing

Mare: A female adult horse

Stallion: A male adult horse that isn’t castrated

Gelding: A male adult horse that is castrated