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anonymous asked:

I kind of just need to vent right now. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I think I may have it. I get in these weird moods where I just feel really down and worthless, like I feel guilty for every little thing. Nothing ever causes these feelings, they just happen. And nothing makes it go away, sometimes it even lasts for weeks...I'm feeling like this right now and I want to cry for no apparent reason. I just really don't understand why this happens...

You can vent all you want to love, I’m right here :) First of all, don’t feel guilty for having depression. It’s not something you asked for, and it’s not something that gets taken care of overnight. It’s not like breaking an arm or a leg where you go to the hospital, fix it, wear a cast for a few weeks, and then everything is all better. Depression is often a long process, years even. You’ll have ups, and you’ll have downs. The good times won’t last forever but neither will the bad, life is a mix of both. It’s okay to feel bad. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel horrible for no specific reason. Depression doesn’t need a reason, it pretty much just comes whenever it wants to. 

But.

I love you.

And I know a lot of other people do too.

You have lots of reasons to stay strong for.

You don’t need that blade or those cuts.

And eventually, one day, you’ll be able to break free from that cycle. For good. Won’t that be great? 

Bad feelings (even depression) are never, ever permanent. There is always a sun behind the clouds, but it can take a long long time to find it sometimes. So when things are hard and you are lost in the darkness, just remember what it’s like to feel that warm golden sunlight on your skin. Remember what it feels like to smile, to laugh until you cry. What the fresh air of autumn feels like, and the fresh smell of spring. Remember and keep on going so you can get through the darkness and reach the day when you find that sunlight again.

It’s okay be sad, let me reiterate, but don’t let that sadness take control. You are a good, lovely, beautiful, and incredibly valuable person, and even though the depression may hide those characteristics for awhile eventually you’ll be able to see them again for yourself.

But all right I’ll try to hold off on the whole “it gets better” talk since you probably don’t want to hear that. But progress is progress, no matter how small, and each day brings you closer to the day where the blade doesn’t matter anymore.

*hugs* Here, have a picture of my dumb cat. He’s weird but he wants you to smile and so do I. <3 

Chin up. I believe in you!

(P.S. What kinds of things do you like to do? Reading, writing, drawing, music, a favorite movie? Take a bath? Do you have any pets? Maybe you can try to do some of those things until the urges pass. Or go for the more hands-on tactics like holding ice against the area where you want to self harm, throwing eggs in the bathtub to let out anger, etc etc.)

Or you can just keep venting in my inbox. I can respond or if you’d rather I not and just post it/not try to give advice or anything, I can do that too. You can just talk and let it out.

Whatever helps you dear :)