Hạnh phúc nhiều khi chỉ là đơn giản được ở một mình với cuốn sách mình yêu thích trên tay. Một tách trà nóng hoặc cafe thơm nức. Thi thoảng là một chút nhạc dịu nhẹ. Thấy đời nhẹ nhàng và những nỗi buồn như bỗng nhẹ hẫng. Chỉ vậy thôi…
“If You Had $10,000, What Would You Do With It?” and Other Questions in The Art of Conversation
When you first meet someone, you generally don’t ask them this right off the bat.
You ask them about what they do, their hobbies, school, work, stuff like that.
When I meet with Japanese students for tutoring (at my fav 24-hour cafe), there are a few things I have observed (and have been taught) about conversations (particularly introduction conversations) that aren’t present in American culture:
Only answer what you were asked. If someone asks you how you get to school, just say you get there by car, not “Well, public transportation here is not very good, so I go by car. I wish we had a good transit system, but the city is too wide.” The other person 1. tunes out, 2. thinks you are self-centered. I’ve been told that it also makes you look pretentious in a sense because in Japanese culture people who talk a lot (like above) are trying to look smart. Of course, there is still the art of not sounding too harsh or straightforward with terse answers, but I think these are two different things.
Even in a normal conversation, you shouldn’t drag on too much. A couple weeks ago, Naoto (someone I talk to fairly regularly) asked me what I was doing the next day, and I said it was me and my boyfriend’s anniversary. He asked what we were going to do, and I said, “Well, I think we’re going to go to dinner, but we’ve both been kind of sick, so I’m not sure if we’ll stay that long or go to [that particular restaurant]. He also has been working a lot, so he might be really tired. So maybe we’ll just watch a movie” Seriously, all I needed to say was that we’re going to dinner. (God, there are so many things I can think of where I just needlessly dragged on instead of answering the question. “I don’t eat fish or meat, I’m vegan. I usually eat tofu or frozen dinners because I’m not good at cooking.” “Oh, my parents are divorced. Well, not divorced technically, because they never married, so I guess just separated. I have a stepmom. though.”)
Don’t answer every question with 私は、私は、まるまるまる。It’s really boring and also makes you look chatty (in a bad way).
You want to ask questions back. Make the other person feel important as well. I know this is an American thing too, but I think less so. You don’t want to repeat back the same exact questions necessarily, but just don’t keep it very…disinterested, I suppose.
At the same time, don’t ask questions that are too probing or personal. One time I asked someone what their mother does, and they said part-time at a grocery store, but mostly at home, and I kept asking questions because I’m really intrigued by the stay-at-home mom/part-time job thing (I had just finished a book on housewives in Japan), but I could tell after that they were annoyed so I stopped.
In reference to this title, a very subtle yet clever question.
「もし$10,000を持ってたら、何をしたい？」(もし$10,000をもってたら、なにをしたい？） If you had $10,000, what would you do with it?
By far, the strangest question I have been asked in an introductory conversation, and I really thought nothing of it. I just said, “I guess I would buy a new car for my boyfriend’s family and save the rest.” But why?
“A lot of people ask this to see how the other will answer. $10,000 is not a lot. If it were a million dollars, that would be easy. Buy a house, save some. It’s a lot of money. But you have to choose wisely with $10,000. If I want to get to know a girl, I always ask her this question. If she says, ‘I’d save it all,’ I would think she’s kind of conservative. If she says, ‘I would buy clothes,’ I would think she is a little shallow. People ask this as sort of a judge of character.” (less important side question: also another example of how girls can never win because they’ll be judged no matter what they answer with?)
I have never heard something like this in English. Perhaps something I would hear in a job interview? More commonly, maybe, “What would you do if you found a wallet on the ground?” but that’s a question that is obviously pointing to your values. Just another testament to the subtlety of Japanese language and culture.
The most common questions for when you first meet someone:
どちらから来ましたか？(どちらからきましたか？) Where are you from?
仕事はなんですか？(しごとはなんですか？) What do you do? (occupation)
兄弟いますか？(きょうだいいますか？) Do you have any siblings? (technically 兄弟 is brothers, but it also means siblings in this case.)
何歳ですか？(なんさいですか？) How old are you?
趣味はなんですか？(しゅみはなんですか？) What are your hobbies?
どこに住んでいますか？(どこにすんでいますか？) Where do you live?
どちらは好きな食べ物なんですか？(どちらはすきなたべものなんですか？) What’s your favorite food?
好きな本なんですか？(すきなほんなんですか？) What’s your favorite book?
[20.10.16] I made a presentation about Shakespeare today for my English class and I mentioned Hiddles and my teacher (who is just a cutie cupcake and she studied in Cambridge and University of Westminster, love her) talked a little bit about him, too. And after the module break we’re gonna talk about his texts and I suggested sonnets and Much Ado and I’m just so happy. My German teacher is another awesome young woman, btw, I look up to them so much. Tbh, pics are not from today, I just don’t have time to post, that’s when I walked to the centre of Moscow by foot and studied in my fav cafe, what a good day.
This one originally was my favourite because in the video you can visibly see TOP’s crotch, but now like anything anyone has seen multiple times I’ve grown to actually really enjoy the video. They all look so good, their outfits are sexy, and they sound great.
trans: [From. Baekho] Kwak Aron, take attention. Why I didn’t appear on videoㅡㅡ
Why do you hate meㅡㅡ
What’s PD’s Kwak?
What’s Aron’s Sense!!!!!!!!!
Why you didn’t made an interview to me!!!!!!!!
Don’t look Aron’s Sense, isn’t fun
You should to see Baekho’s Sense ㅡㅡ (isn’t out yet)
Here a bizzare photo of you. cr: thenuestrans