Everyone with a vagina knows they gotta put up with some bullshit from mother nature every month (usually). If you’re like me, periods can be celabratory because BITCH U AINT PREGNANT! Ima give u some tips to make your period a lil less hellish and hopefully even a lil shorter.
1- Wear pads at night. I know they arent the most comftorable thing but TSS is far more uncomftorable I promise you. I don’t trust sleeping in tampons because of the risk of them staying in for too long. (Always change your tampons every 5-7 hours)
2- Heat relieves cramps and also helps blood flow. Soak a washcloth in hot water and put it over your abdomen, sit in a hot bath, take a hot shower, sit in a sauna ect
3- Stick to drinking strictly water and tea (same thing) this will help with breakouts, fatigue, headaches, bloating, ect. Peppermint, ginger, and chamomile tea are great for cramps.
4- Ive noticed that the less I snack on shitty foods, the shorter my period is. I cant back this up really, but cutting out candy, chips, soda and replacing them with water and fruits has helped end my period quicker.
5- AVOID SODIUM LIKE THE PLAGUE
6- Wear cotton underwear and preferably not too tight pants/shorts just so you can let your cootchie breath.
7- Lmao y’all are gunna hate me for this but honestly working out on your period works wonders. It gets the blood flow going, gets rid of cramps, andddd (my fav thing about periods) your metabolism is fastest during your period so eating healthy and excercise can actually help you lose a few pounds. When I was trying to lose weight i hit a platue and my period helped me get past it.
8- Carry 5 tampons with you, an extra pair of panties, tylenol, and a water bottle wherever you go. Also mark your calender or get Period Tracker app so you can be as prepared as you can for when your period decides to ruin your day. When you are on your period, wear dark clothing and bring a jacket/long sweater so you can either tie your jacket around your waist to cover your ass if you bleed through. This is also great if you’re like me who need to wear pads and tampons and want to cover the underwear lines.
9- MY FAV TIP. Masturbating atleast twice a day (but no ones stopping you from going on more) helps with cramps and speeds up blood flow to end your period quicker. Amazing. Sex is also good for this but I personally hate having sex on my period, that dick be high fiving my period cramps like they a team or some shit.
This is all I could come up with so hopefully it helps you. Stay smart, fresh, and beautiful my lovely hoes.
Can we talk about that scene in season 7 episode 9 ‘sting’ where fry is taking Leela places while she’s dreaming? I’m 100% sure that fry is telling her all the places he’ll take her if she wakes up from the coma. And the jacket? He probably felt chilly and thought that she might be too, so he gave her his jacket. Lemme tell you that shit is beautiful