faux lesbians

So Good

Dating Archie Andrews Would Include:

  • Wearing his varsity jacket on chilly days.
  • Him serenading you in the pouring rain.
  • Lots of competitive banter and playful teasing.
  • Cheering for him at football games.
  • Helping him work for his dad on the weekends.
  • Steamy make out sessions in the music room.
  • Grabbing a milkshake at Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe.
  • Laying with him in bed late at night.
  • Pillow talk.
  • Him constantly asking Betty and Veronica for advice.
  • Him always showing up at your doorstep with flowers and chocolates.
  • Adorable nicknames.
  • Rough and passionate car sex.
  • Him checking you out during practice, and you pretending not to notice.
  • Icing his wounds whenever he gets into fights.
  • Him walking you to school every morning. 
  • Body kisses.
  • You being a complete catch, and him not knowing what to say.
  • Hooking up in the most inconvenient places.
  • Getting into trouble with him on a daily basis. 
  • Tummy rubs and tickle fights.
  • His friends absolutely adoring you.

Dating Veronica Lodge Would Include:

  • Faux-Lesbian Kissing™.
  • A surprise bouquet of magnolias waiting for you in the office.
  • Trying out for the cheerleading team together.
  • “As my mom likes to say, ‘There’s no wrong the right cupcake can’t fix.’”
  • Her taking an immediate liking to you.
  • Her helping you pick out outfits for school.
  • Suffering through Cheryl’s unnecessary tirades during assemblies.
  • You and her in your bedroom, dancing around and trying on sexy lingerie.
  • Making Archie and Betty insanely jealous.
  • Hers-and-hers mani-pedis.
  • Intimate picnics in secluded forests with expensive champagne.
  • Pool hopping.
  • Witty remarks and lovey-dovey compliments.
  • Listening to her entertaining anecdotes about New York.
  • Nuzzling noses.
  • Her escorting you to fancy events thrown on by prestigious socialites.
  • Always being her partner during labs and group activities. 
  • Standing up for what you believe in and advocating for equality. 
  • You both giving Cheryl a run for her money.
  • Getting revenge on douchebags who deserve it. 
  • Her using you as a canvas to test out new lipstick colors. 
  • You and her being extremely touchy-feely in public.

Dating Betty Cooper Would Include:

  • Supporting her through anxiety attacks.
  • Taking her out to the movies every Friday night.
  • Jamming out to her old records.
  • Surprising her late in the evening with a basket full of her favorite things.
  • Gushing to Kevin about how beautiful and lovely she is.
  • Gentle, slow-paced kisses. 
  • Always taking artsy photos of her whenever she’s not looking.
  • Playing with each other’s hair mindlessly during class.
  • Bringing her a carton of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream when she’s sick.
  • Stargazing.
  • Laying in her bed under an archway of fairy lights.
  • Coaching her on how to be assertive.
  • Black lace and fishnet tights.
  • Her always picking up after the first ring.
  • You two both wanting to adopt a dog. 
  • Watching the sun rise after a restless sleep.
  • You straightening her cheerleading uniform before every game.
  • Spending hours alone by the river together.
  • Keeping dream journals and picking flowers.
  • Taking spontaneous midnight drives and waking up in a new place each morning.
  • Doodling designs on every inch of her body. 
  • Wearing oversized sweaters and knee-length socks.
  • Crying over delicious peach cobblers and vintage Polaroids.

Dating Jughead Jones Would Include:

  • Editing his posts on the school’s website. 
  • Helping him through writer’s block. 
  • Hanging out with him under the bleachers.
  • Mentally cursing people who are assholes.
  • Being very overprotective of him. 
  • Wearing his beanie on certain occasions. 
  • Dry humor.
  • Playing detective.
  • Rooftop dates.
  • Him being flustered when you prove him wrong. 
  • Him tutoring you after school, even though you don’t need it. 
  • Nervous hand-holding.
  • Him checking up on you every second of every day. 
  • Long, endearing conversations.
  • Lighthouse adventures.
  • Him unable to stop bragging about you. 
  • Obsessing over literature and Star Wars.
  • Him being a stubborn butt during social gatherings, and you having to pull him out of his comfort zone. 
  • Sneaking around the campus after school hours.
  • You distracting him by being so unbearably cute. 
  • Soft touches. 
  • Cleaning up his work space whenever it gets too messy. 
  • Falling asleep with him on his old, worn-down mattress.
  • Forehead kisses.
Riverdale: my new obsession

On the outside it looks like your average teen drama. But after three episodes we are beginning to see the heart shine through the facade. It is with this latest episode ‘Body Double’ that the show begins to break out of the archaic formula that high school dramas have been created by. Although the show began with some cringe worthy teen drama archetypes at least it is self-aware in its stereotypical depiction.

Cheryl’s comments regarding Kevin Keller being the ‘gay best friend’ and Beronica’s ‘faux lesbian’ kiss prove that the writer’s of Riverdale are aware of the stereotypes they are portraying, they are commenting on them as they are being performed. If this is in fact the case then why are they choosing to include these antiquated archetypes?

Let me propose a theory. The writer’s know exactly what they are doing. Presenting the audience with the stereotypical teen tale. One where the pretty girls only kiss to garner attention, a gay character is only a two dimensional punch line, and the ridiculously good looking football star is fought over by two cheerleaders that put their romantic feelings above any friendship. But with each passing episode Riverdale shows more and more how it will be breaking out of these old fashioned norms and putting them in their place.

Episode three forged B and V, a friendship that is stronger than any crush, ‘they walked through the fire and survived’. They are women who will not be pitted against each other, fighting for the attention of a man. But come together in times of need, as strength and support. This episode is filled with strong, intelligent women who have more depth than how they relate to a man. They are more than just objects. Betty and Veronica fight back against the male objectification that has been forced upon them by Chuck and his football goons. Cheryl repeats the sexist adage ‘boys will be boys’ as a way to explain why these young men feel it is acceptable to assign each girl a numeric value and score themselves on their ‘conquests’. But Veronica puts Cheryl in her place and the women of Riverdale High unite against the demeaning way they are being treated by the male populous. Even Cheryl Blossom joins operation #justiceforethel, which is justice for us all. 

Betty explains so eloquently the struggle women today face, “we’re objects for them to abuse. And when they are done with us they shame us into silence”. But no more will these strong, intelligent, beautiful women stay silent. Betty and Veronica enact vengeance for not only Veronica but for the collection of wronged women in Chuck’s playbook.

Not only does this episode discuss sexism and female objectification but it also talks to the patriarchy and struggle of women of colour. Josie breaks it down for Archie explaining that he can’t “write [her] experience” because he can’t possibly understand the struggles she has to face in life, “we have to claw our way into the same rooms you just waltz into.”

Archie is a privileged white male, with so many doors open to him, which he takes for granted. He strolls in to the Pussycat’s rehearsal assuming he is good enough to write music for them. But what he fails to realize is that Josie and the Pussycats are trying to use their music as a way to fight the patriarchy, to empower women to stand up against the gender roles they are forced into everyday, “I don’t care what you want me to be cuz it ain’t for you and it’s all for me.” Live your lives the way you want to live them ladies. Archie has rarely had to deal with this struggle. The closest he has gotten is his father preferring him to play football then write music. So at least he has a small insight into what Josie is trying to explain to him.

With this wonderfully feminist episode I am optimistic that Riverdale will put all of the other outdated stereotypes in the trash where they belong. Hopefully next we will see Kevin break out of the stereotype of gay best friend and actually show us who he is as a person. 


  • ❝I’m ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s, but this place is strictly ‘In Cold Blood’.❞
  • ❝Read my glossed lips, Justin Gingerlake. Not gonna happen.❞ 
  • ❝Don’t freak out, just trust me.❞
  • ❝Is cheerleading still a thing?❞
  • ❝Is being the gay best friend still a thing?❞
  • ❝I was wondering if you wanted to come… with both of us?❞
  • ❝I’m in the mood for chaos.❞
  • ❝You wanted fire? Sorry, my specialty is ice.❞
  • ❝Faux lesbian kissing hasn’t been taboo since 1994.❞
  • ❝Hi, Teen Outlander.❞
  • ❝Ten minutes in and I’m already the Blue Jasmine of Riverdale High.❞
  • ❝Can’t we, in this post-James Franco world, be all things at once?❞
  • ❝Perfect. Very Betty Draper, season one.❞
  • ❝There will be a reckoning, and maybe, that reckoning is me.❞
  • ❝I’ll help you prep. I have moves.❞
  • ❝Okay. You know what? Show me your moves.❞
  • ❝What is a Chock’Lit Shoppe, and why does it sell burgers?❞
  • ❝As hot, and as smart as you are, you should be the Queen Bey of this drab hive.❞
  • ❝I know what you need, because I know who you are. You would rather people fear than like you, so you traffic in terror and intimidation. You’re rich, so you’ve never been held accountable, but I’m living proof. That certainty, that entitlement you wear on your head like a crown? It won’t last. ❞
  • ❝Who’s lighting fireworks at six in the morning?❞
  • ❝Who are you lying to? Me or your coach?❞

anonymous asked:

Veronica clearly likes Archie and Cheryl saw right through the Be/ronica Kiss 'faux lesbian kisses hasn't been taboo since 1994'. I get shipping but getting this extreme over a ship, sending hate to the actors, writers...Just NO!

they’d be sending hate regardless if they’d kissed or not, but the kiss was definitely a mistake. and i mean that only in the sense that it was never brought up again and they’re clearly not going anywhere with it. they might not have been trying to queerbait the audience, but they definitely did in that scene. i know how frustrating that is, but some of the things i’ve seen on twitter there is no justification for 

I’m obsessed with Carol because we rarely, if ever, get to see a reflection of ourselves in the world around us, the world we live in (anywhere, in art, in movies, in books, on TV, anywhere in popular culture - maybe an ad now and then). Gay men are represented to a degree, certainly much more than women are. Lesbians are really, still, just the butt of jokes or faux lesbians are porno for straight men.

When or where do we see ourselves reflected back to us - the way we experience the world, our relationships, how we feel? Nowhere that I know of - unless we go to all gay places. But in the world, in everyday life, our lives are MIA.

And this book, written in 1952, was a rarity - a happy ending! No one committed suicide - unbelievable. At that time, we were still in danger of being committed to psychiatric wards, or being put in jail, losing our job or apartment , and certainly, women were still having their kids taken away from them. Our families ostracized us.

Imagine what it would be like to have ourselves actually appear in the popular culture around us. Straight people have this all the time - their lives, their feelings, their relationships, are constantly reinforced.

This movie was done so beautifully….so yeah, now you know why I’m obsessed with Carol.

I JUST WATCHED AN INTERVIEW WITH HOLLAND AND MAX AND HOLLAND DESCRIBED MALIA AND KIRA AS FAUX LESBIANS AND STARTED TALKING ABOUT MALIA AND KIRA’S SCENE WHERE THEYRE DANCING IN THE CLUB AND SHE WAS LIKE “there was this random scene that made no sen-” AND THEN SHE CAUGHT HERSELF “that made a lot of sense.” AND MAX GOES “they have a lesbian scene?” AND HOLLAND GOES “they don’t though that’s the problem. there was like- it was faux- it was not real.”