faux lesbians

Solicitous // Cheryl

Summary: With Cheryl grieving her brothers death you’re the only one there for her, no one stands by her side. Her parents adore you but they don’t know the truth of your relationship with Cheryl either. With the danger of a killer roaming Riverdale, Cheryl’s ever more jealous and protective.

Characters: Cheryl Blossom x Andrews!Reader, Archie Andrews (mentioned), Jughead Jones (mentioned), Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper,  Penelope Blossom (mentioned), and Cliff Blossom (mentioned)

Words: 978

Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the characters. I do not own the Comics either.

Warnings: Possible swearing, mention of murder, crying/grieving, implied romantic same sex (female) relationship, and allusion to oral sex

Author: Caitsy

Requested: @gemini-indecisiveness

Tagging: At the bottom

Master List

Prompt List


Originally posted by riverdales-daily

When you reached adolescence you promised yourself you wouldn’t label yourself anymore. You had a lot of labels growing up in the footsteps of your brother Archie, you were the only female in the house following your mom’s abandonment. You were stamped with labels that you didn’t care for.

The sexual orientation label was the one you hated the most with the words placing you in the world where it deemed fit. That’s why when Veronica had asked if you were straight, you admired her bluntness, you had shrugged not caring.

The next day at lunch after the tryouts for cheerleading you had placed yourself between Betty and Veronica. Cheryl was busy planning new routines and you wanted more friends that weren’t total bitches.

“You’re gorgeous!” Veronica grinned, “How do you get your hair to shine like that?”

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AUGUST 11: But I’m A Cheerleader is released (2000)

On this day in 2000, the movie But I’m A Cheerleader was first released in the United States. Now a cult classic, the movie tells the story of a young lesbian named Megan who is sent off to a gay rehabilitation camp – or “homosexuals anonymous” as her mother puts it. Despite the seemingly heavy subject material, But I’m A Cheerleader pokes fun at the concept of “praying the gay away” and is more therapeutic than any ex-gay camp could ever hope to be. 

The first film from director Jamie Babbit, But I’m A Cheerleader is most remembered for its genuine humor, John Waters camp-style sets, and the unforgettable chemistry between its two leads – Clea Duvall and faux-lesbian icon Natasha Lyonne. Played by Lyonne, the movie starts off by following Megan through her daily routine of gazing longingly at the cut-out photos of models in her locker, cringing through makeout sessions with her boyfriend, and, of course, attending cheerleading practice. The movie’s titular line is spoken when Megan is bombarded one day by her friends and family in a pseudo-intervention/reverse coming out; to the accusation that she’s a lesbian, she can only respond “…but I’m a cheerleader!” However, despite the obvious oxymoron of a lesbian cheerleader, Megan’s parents insist that she drop everything and pack her bags for the ex-gay camp called True Directions.

Originally posted by mrchandlerbings

At True Directions, the boys fix cars, play football, and chop firewood while the girls swaddle baby dolls, wear skirts, and vacuum monochrome carpets in hopes to become True Men™ and True Women™ . Amongst all the madness, Megan finally realizes that not only is she in fact a lesbian, but that she also kind of has a thing for Graham, the only other girl at camp who is unconvinced by the ridiculousness of these activities. With the stage set and the characters positioned exactly how you want them to be, the story plays out in a perfectly fluffy, romcom rhythm. The two girls fall in love by sneaking out late at night to nearby gay bars and rolling their eyes at various True Directions tasks, only to ditch the camp’s “graduation ceremony” and officially run off into the sunset together at the movie’s climax. It’s not in spite of, but rather, because of this expected story line that LGBT folk have kept this movie on repeat well into the 21st century; rarely are lesbians given the type of aesthetically pleasing, teeny-bopper story that But I’m a Cheerleader has to offer, and much less one that continues to make you laugh with each and every re-watch.


Riverdale: my new obsession

On the outside it looks like your average teen drama. But after three episodes we are beginning to see the heart shine through the facade. It is with this latest episode ‘Body Double’ that the show begins to break out of the archaic formula that high school dramas have been created by. Although the show began with some cringe worthy teen drama archetypes at least it is self-aware in its stereotypical depiction.

Cheryl’s comments regarding Kevin Keller being the ‘gay best friend’ and Beronica’s ‘faux lesbian’ kiss prove that the writer’s of Riverdale are aware of the stereotypes they are portraying, they are commenting on them as they are being performed. If this is in fact the case then why are they choosing to include these antiquated archetypes?

Let me propose a theory. The writer’s know exactly what they are doing. Presenting the audience with the stereotypical teen tale. One where the pretty girls only kiss to garner attention, a gay character is only a two dimensional punch line, and the ridiculously good looking football star is fought over by two cheerleaders that put their romantic feelings above any friendship. But with each passing episode Riverdale shows more and more how it will be breaking out of these old fashioned norms and putting them in their place.

Episode three forged B and V, a friendship that is stronger than any crush, ‘they walked through the fire and survived’. They are women who will not be pitted against each other, fighting for the attention of a man. But come together in times of need, as strength and support. This episode is filled with strong, intelligent women who have more depth than how they relate to a man. They are more than just objects. Betty and Veronica fight back against the male objectification that has been forced upon them by Chuck and his football goons. Cheryl repeats the sexist adage ‘boys will be boys’ as a way to explain why these young men feel it is acceptable to assign each girl a numeric value and score themselves on their ‘conquests’. But Veronica puts Cheryl in her place and the women of Riverdale High unite against the demeaning way they are being treated by the male populous. Even Cheryl Blossom joins operation #justiceforethel, which is justice for us all. 

Betty explains so eloquently the struggle women today face, “we’re objects for them to abuse. And when they are done with us they shame us into silence”. But no more will these strong, intelligent, beautiful women stay silent. Betty and Veronica enact vengeance for not only Veronica but for the collection of wronged women in Chuck’s playbook.

Not only does this episode discuss sexism and female objectification but it also talks to the patriarchy and struggle of women of colour. Josie breaks it down for Archie explaining that he can’t “write [her] experience” because he can’t possibly understand the struggles she has to face in life, “we have to claw our way into the same rooms you just waltz into.”

Archie is a privileged white male, with so many doors open to him, which he takes for granted. He strolls in to the Pussycat’s rehearsal assuming he is good enough to write music for them. But what he fails to realize is that Josie and the Pussycats are trying to use their music as a way to fight the patriarchy, to empower women to stand up against the gender roles they are forced into everyday, “I don’t care what you want me to be cuz it ain’t for you and it’s all for me.” Live your lives the way you want to live them ladies. Archie has rarely had to deal with this struggle. The closest he has gotten is his father preferring him to play football then write music. So at least he has a small insight into what Josie is trying to explain to him.

With this wonderfully feminist episode I am optimistic that Riverdale will put all of the other outdated stereotypes in the trash where they belong. Hopefully next we will see Kevin break out of the stereotype of gay best friend and actually show us who he is as a person. 

The signs as Riverdale quotes
  • Aries: "I will cut the brakes on his souped-up phallic symbol"
  • Taurus: "I'm sorry to interrupt your adultery, Fred, but you need to come with me"
  • Gemini: "I'm in the mood for chaos"
  • Cancer: "#JusticeForEthel"
  • Leo: "What's happening out there? Do we know? Is it about me?"
  • Virgo: "Also 4.0 [GPA]"
  • Libra: "Check your sell-by date, ladies, faux lesbian kissing hasn't been taboo since 1994"
  • Scorpio: "I am back to being the shallow, toxic rich bitch who ruins everything in her path"
  • Sagittarius: "I don't follow rules; I make them, and when necessary, I break them"
  • Capricorn: "You wanted fire? Sorry, @CherylBombshell, my specialty is ice"
  • Aquarius: "Sardonic humor is my way of relating to this world"
  • Pisces: "I learned that from the Nancy Drew detective handbook"