Do not let your sons forget where their essence was just formed, when their bodies were most vulnerable, they were protected by the womb of a woman. If they ever call all women weak, remind them of the strength of their mother who pulled her whole body apart to give theirs a home.
—  Nikita Gill, Fathers Do Not Let Your Sons Forget

“When I was a Sophomore in high school, my dad passed away from an accident. I feel envious when I see others talking about what they have done with their dad, because I could also be a good daughter to my dad. We were supposed to go drinking together once I turned 20…”

“제가 고 1때 아빠가 사고로 돌아가셨는데, 남들이 아빠랑 있었던 일 말할 때 가끔씩 부럽죠. 나도 아빠한테 저렇게 잘 할 수 있는데. 아빠랑 스무 살 되면 같이 소주 먹으러 가기로 했는데…”

The key facts about family breakdown and fatherlessness in the UK:

“A generation of children have been denied their human right to a meaningful and loving relationship with their fathers”
Matt O’Connor, Founder, Fathers4Justice

200 children lose contact with their fathers every day in secret courts.

1 in 3 children live without their father.
(Office of National Statistics)

3.8 million Nearly 4 million children are fatherless in the UK.
(Office of National Statistics)

£44 billion is the cost of family breakdown every year.
(The Marriage Foundation)

“If divorce is like a burning house then going into the family courts is like emptying a plane-load of napalm onto the situation.”

“My child is around 16 months old now. Since I work at a theater company, I often go on a regional tour. When returning from a regional tour, I often end up getting home late, and most likely my kid has gone to bed at the time, so I usually see her the next morning. When I wake up feeling groggy, her face seems quite blurry to me. Then, as my vision gets sharper gradually, her face emerges in my sight clearly. That’s when I feel it, ‘ah…I’ve come back home.’”

“이제 아이가 16개월 정도 됐어요. 제가 극단 생활을 하다 보니 지방 공연이 잦거든요. 지방공연을 갔다가 집에 가면 아이는 거의 자고 있는 경우가 많아서 만나는 시간이 아침일 때가 많죠. 아침에 갓 일어난 몽롱한 상태에서 아이 얼굴을 보면 얼굴이 뿌옇게 보여요. 그러다가 점점 시야가 밝아지면서 아이 얼굴이 뚜렷하게 보이죠. 그러면 느껴요. ‘아…… 내가 집에 돌아왔구나.’”

Many childfree people are actually considerate of the needs of others instead of the wants of their own. I care about the future of the planet and the lives already in it. I think parents choose to forget there’s 7 billion people already on this planet, climate change is real, and humans are the causing the 6th mass extinction. It would be selfish of me to bring a child into a world that will have to contend with this and it would be selfish of me to bring a child into a world that needs less humans in it.

“Since my kids were young, I have written short letters to them. Now I’m preparing to publish a book by binding all of the letters together. I think I played a good role as a dad by writing letters to my kids, but when I read my old letters these days, I often find messages like ‘what about doing this?’, ‘it’ll be great if you do that.’ I feel somewhat guilty about it, in the sense that my kids may have felt a burden as they read the letters.”

“아이들이 어릴 때부터 아이들한테 쪽지 편지를 계속 써줬어. 지금 그걸 엮어서 책으로 낼 준비 중이야. 그 부분은 아버지로서 참 잘한 거 같은데, 쪽지 편지 쓴 걸 지금 와서 읽어보니까 ‘조금만 이렇게 해주겠니?’, ‘이렇게 해줬으면 좋겠다.’ 하는 말이 많더라고. 내 요구에 아이들이 힘에 부쳐하지는 않았을까 그게 한편으로는 후회스러워.”


Just a month ago, I got my first bee sting. My father was allergic
to bees and I have spent my entire life hoping to become
every bit his ghost.

So, I thank god for the little miracle
and my purple arm, swelling.

At night, I had to sleep with my hands in fists, so eager
to dig out the stinger.

I kept the stinger in, because I didn’t know you had to take it out

because I am tired of always taking things out.

This year, I said goodbye to someone I used to love
and there’s only an archived email to show for it.

I used to think that because my father died, I would never
have to experience loss again.

It turns out, there is no threshold for being a person,
no limit to what your heart can contain,

even my heart, with its hole and all the inconvenience
that comes with an off-beat pulse.

I had to pull the stinger out with my nails, left behind a red brown
wound. I thought the swelling would go down.

And it did, but the purple mark stayed.

Sometimes now, when I am trying to sleep,
I start scratching.

I don’t love him anymore, but it’s hard to forget everything.
Just a photo of his face and I’m thinking

of my fingers in his baby soft hair.

Just a feeling and I’m rubbing my fingers over my scar.

If my father was alive, he wouldn’t be able to help me
with this. He dated a handful of women before loving my mother.

Maybe he hurt someone and I inherited her pain.
Maybe someone hurt him and I inherited his pain.

Anyway, my father died.

Anyway, the bee died.


“I know these women might be sitting there thinking that it’s 2016 and they’re allowed to sit on the train in the morning and put on some makeup, but they’re wrong.” said an angry D Evans, when Pointless Letters reached out for comment. “What they need is a man to tell them to get it done before they leave the house.”

“Bloody women.” he added, staring balefully at a woman on the other side of the room with a lipstick in her hand.

(with many “Damian? Is that you?” thanks to Sophie over on Twitter for this one!)