fathering our kids

(This is likely to get me into even more trouble, but whatever - the new Buckleming episode airs this week, so I’m guessing we’ll have worse problems by Friday.) 

So, my dash seems to be split between pro-Mary and anti-Mary people, and the debate is getting pretty intense and occasionally awful. And I just wanted to say that yes, it’s probably true we hold women (and especially mothers) to different standards of behaviour, and I’m sure there are some overt or subconscious sexist components in our dislike, or even outrage, in some cases, of her actions this past week, but also - to me, the problem is that Mary started out in a good place and is now going downwards, if that makes sense. Like, Crowley - Crowley is fascinating in and of himself, but one big reason I feel so sympathetic towards him right now is because he started out as a selfish, even cruel villain and he’s experiencing an upward arc towards understanding and helping other people. And this is a popular trope and all, but it’s popular for a reason: because it gives us a sense of satisfaction to see someone become a better person.

(Also because two thirds of Western culture are basically Christianity, which is the poster boy of the Redemption Arc, so we’re probably pre-programmed to like this from birth, but whatever. It still makes for a good story)

Now, Mary - Mary started in the best possible place, that of the Innocent Murder Victim who, on top of everything else, was a Mother and Beautiful and Trying to Save Her Baby Boy - Jesus, there’s not much that will give you more points than all that. So it’s not surprising, really, that her arc must be downward, because how the hell would have she been able to go higher that actual martyrdom? So her having trouble connecting with her kids, her being secretive and skulking about and making deals with unsavoury characters - of course it’s nothing different or worse from what every single person on Supernatural has done for the past twelve seasons - the problem is not in the actions themselves, but in where they are in her character’s arc. That’s why, I think, we perceive her behaviour as less forgivable - not (only) sexism.  

Not One, But Two (Part VII)

Summary: It all started on that night when you and Jay were both too drunk to remember anything. You resigned from your job and left Seoul with a secret. Now you’re back and ready to tell Jay about them, but doing so means sharing their lives and putting his career and love life on the line.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI |

“You’re lying,” Jukyung accused, returning Jay’s phone to him.

“I’m not!” Jay snorted.

“Oh really?”

“Yes. I’m not lying—” Jay sighed, still seeing the disbelief manifested by Jukyung’s expression and tone. “I’m their dad. You saw it. Jaeyoung looks a lot like me.”

“Jaeyoung?” Sunghwa asked.

“He’s the boy. Suri’s his sister. He’s older than her by just a minute. I wasn’t there when they were born. I only found out about them a couple of months ago,” Jay said.

“But how? Wasn’t she in the states with her family these past few years? Did you visit her when you went there?” Hyukwoo asked.

“No, I didn’t see her until she came back. It was before she left,” Jay replied.

“So if you’re telling us the truth, then that means that—” Sunghwa counted with his fingers, “she was pregnant when she left?”

Keep reading

BTS reaction to you telling them you want a baby

I think all of them would be a bit scared now, cause they are still young and are quite busy so maybe this will be a set a few years from now.

ALSO, IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY, I’M 21 YEEEEEY FOR GROWING OLDER not. This is not fun, I’m growing so fast -___-  I feel old -Admin RJ


Jin noticed how you spent more time in the baby section, looking at baby clothes with adoration in your eyes so he wasn’t very surprised when you confessed about wanting to have a baby. He as well thought about it before and he was quite eager to start a family, especially since babies are adorable and he has experience babysitting Bangtan.

“A mini-me with my perfect looks and yours, huh?”

Originally posted by aestheticvbts


He was not very excited about the idea of a baby screaming and pooping everywhere, but then thoughts of having a little girl that looked like you playing the piano with tiny hands or a boy for him to teach how to rap and bring to the studio to play with the recording buttons invaded his mind. He found himself wishing to hold a baby in his arms so when you told him that you are ready to have a baby, he agreed immediately.

“I kinda want a baby now too. Let’s have one.”


Bringing the subject of babies to Hoseok has been something that crossed your mind a lot. One day, when he was practicing for a concert, you watched as one of the staff’s child was running across the stage and you decided to mention it to Hoseok. He immediately raised his head, looking at you with hopeful *j-hopeful* eyes and his face lighted up at the mention of babies, your own babies.

“Really? Cause I’ve been wanting to talk about it for a while.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin


Namjoon was somehow ready for the talk about babies. You were both in a serious relationship, the band was having a break for a while and you gave him hints lately. So when you two decided to have the talk, Namjoon was ready with a list of pro and cons but you decided to try and see how it goes. Namjoon was smirking at the thought what needed to be done to actually have a baby and you immediately caught up, calling him a perv.

“I wasn’t thinking about the sex, I was happy for our future baby!”

Originally posted by lil-unicorn-yixing


You two were skyping late at night since Jimin was oversea for a concert and you just wanted to update each other. You looked at Jimin and decided to finally speak up your mind about having a baby, a thought that has been on your mind a lot lately. Jimin was a bit taken back, but then he rolled over to his side, thinking about a tiny Jimin or Y/N and a smile spread over his face at how cute your baby would be. He wanted a family with you and so he promised to come home sooner to have a proper talk about it.

“We should talk more when I come home but I am quite excited about it.”

Originally posted by melaningoddessneota


He talked about it before with you but you were not quite sure so you asked for time to think about it. Taehyung let you think about it and one day, when you two were babysitting his cousins, you decided to have a baby with him, because of the way he looked at his young cousins and how great he was with them. When he heard your decision, he immediately jumped up from the floor and ran to you, grabbing your face to place a kiss on your lips, all happy and excited about the idea of a baby.

“I promise I will be a great father and our kid will be the best!!”

Originally posted by bwipsul


He was shocked at your wish of having a baby and he admitted immediately that he was not ready, at least not yet. Since the thought of having a baby didn’t really cross his mind, he felt the need to research a little about it and maybe even spend time with his younger cousins to see how he would do as a father. He wanted to feel prepared and to be able to help before trying for a baby.

“How about we wait for a bit longer, [Y/N]?”

Originally posted by bwipsul

simon imagine - destruction (trigger warning)

REQUESTED: “you have a history with depression and self harm and one day you decide to explain to simon what all the marks are on your skin cuz you know he’s seen them.. and he feels very desperate cuz he doesn’t know how to help you so the promises to himself to be the best boyfriend ever”

mentions of self harm, if this is triggering pls do not read!

The room was somewhat dark, lit only by an old lamp flickering on the bedside table. Simon lay naked next to me, the duvet strategically tucked under his arms, leaving his chest uncovered. While admiring his thoughtful face I let my fingers glide over his body. His sharp collarbones, toned biceps and broad shoulder blades. I watched as his mouth formed a smile before he turned to face me.

“What are you doing?” He asked a genuine question as his eyes met mine. I flashed a small, appreciative smile.

“Just…exploring you,” my fingers continued to glide up and down his torso. I felt his body tense and relax continuously underneath my touch. “Getting to know your body a little more.”

I watched as his eyes flashed. Apprehensively, he reached out a hand, softly grabbing my wrist. 

“Can I get to know your body a little more?”

His fingers pressed against the flesh softly and I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut. I knew what Simon was asking. He wasn’t just looking to explore me, or touch me generally - he was asking about the scars. After all these months, I knew I owed it to him to tell him. He deserved to know the truth, and I had no doubt he would learn to love it anyway.

I nodded, and he pulled his arm closer to him. As he sat up to examine the marks more I felt as if I was in a clinic rather than a bedroom. It felt like being back at hospital. I shuddered at the thought.

“I’m sorry - am I hurting you?”

“No, no,” I reassured him, shaking my head eagerly. “It’s just…a painful memory.”

“What happened, Y/n?”

His soft, warm voice was laced with intrigue as he brushed over the scars so gently with his finger tip. I avoided his eye. Suddenly I felt so guilty. Like I had failed him.

“I did it to myself, Simon. Cliche I know.”

“But why, Y/n?”

The disappointment and hurt in his voice shot at my heart like a dart to a board and I looked away.

“I was going through a rough time. I was a teenager, I had so many issues. I was so so broken.”

“Did it help you? At the time?”

“No, it didn’t help. If anything it made me feel worse.”

“So why did you…do it?”

“I wanted help. That began as a scream for help. I thought if people saw the cuts and bruises, they’d magically know what was going on without me having to go through the humiliation of actually telling them.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “I wanted to be saved.”

As I looked back up at Simon his eyes watered.

“You don’t still feel that way…do you?”

“I don’t wanna hurt myself anymore, no. But the depression doesn’t go away. There are good days and bad days.”

In the poor, sepia light I watched as Simon brought my wrist to his mouth, pressing gentle kisses to each and every cut. His lips felt warm and comforting. A tear rolled down my cheek.

“Y/n, I don’t ever want you to feel this way again. It pains me. It hurts me so, so much to think…” He choked on a sob, a tear escaping his eye. “To think you ever did this to yourself. The thought of you being anything other than so over the moon happy makes me so, so sad.”

“I know nothing I can say will change the past but I wanna change your future. I love you, Y/n. I always have and I always will no matter what. I love you, and I’m gonna be the best damn boyfriend you have ever had.”

More tears fell into my lap and I wiped them away with the back of my spare hand.

“And once I’ve been the best boyfriend, I wanna be the best fiance one day. And then the best husband. And the best father to our kids, and grandfather to their kids. I just wanna be good for you, Y/n.”

I climbed on top of Simon, straddling his waist and pressing a long, intense kiss to his lips. 

“I love you, Simon. I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/n, always.”

PLS READ - not trying to romanticise mental illness AT ALL. i wrote this bcos it was requested, and maybe it is something the person that requested thinks will help them. Pls remember in the real world pretty boys don’t cure mental illness - doctors, treatment, and self care are your best damn friends. i love you all


You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes as Dean and Sam cackled and as Cas looked on with an approving smile.

“W-wait, did you have the skirts and blazers?” Dean choked out.

“We had ties, too,” you sighed, and that caused him to lean forward again and shake with laughter.

Cas nodded.  “Good.  It’s nice to hear that some children grew up with faith.”  Whether he did on purpose or not, he gave a pointed look at the brothers, and Sam cleared his throat.

“So how was Catholic school?  Did you have to go to church once a week?” he asked.  Sam, after getting over the shock and apparent hilarity at the school you went to from first grade through high school, seemed genuinely interested to hear.  You weren’t sure what possessed you to tell them this, but his curiosity made it less painful.

“Yeah, once a week up until high school.  Then, it was only on special occasions.”  With a smirk, you added, “Why do you think I cream your asses when it comes to Latin?”

“You took Latin classes?” Dean asked, his eyebrows raised and a smile forming on his face.

“It was awful, and the only thing I remember from that class is how to say the ‘Hail Mary’ and ‘Our Father’ in Latin.  We used to have competitions on who could say it the fastest,” you admitted.  “And that class was hard considering it was taught for middle school kids.”

Sam nodded, and then hesitated like he was almost embarrassed of his next question.  “I’ve gotta ask, where did the short skirt stereotype come from?”

You pulled a face, rolled your eyes, and made a disgusted ugh sound.  “Oh, please, do you know how many kids from the local public schools would ridicule me?  The only reason anyone’s skirt was short was because those things were forty bucks a piece, and by senior year, who wants to buy new ones?  And, sure, some girls rolled them up, but can you blame them?  Those pleated skirts were not attractive.”

“Ooh, getting defensive, I see.  Don’t get your thigh socks in a twist,” Dean teased, and you held up a hand with an open mouth.

“No, no, no, thigh socks were scandalous!  The socks had to be below your knees, because God-forbid you cover more of your legs.”  You couldn’t help but laugh after saying that.  “Man, those rules were weird.”

“I don’t think my Father cares whether or not you wear your socks above or below your knees,” Cas commented, a confused expression on his face.

“See?  He gets it.  Catholic school was weird.”

There was a lull in the conversation before Sam asked, “So… how fast can you say the ‘Hail Mary’?”

A grin took over your face, and you took a deep breath, ready to test yourself to see how much you remembered starting with Ave Maria.

The Ring: Part 2

AN: The second and final part to the Ring. I’m a bit nervous about posting this one. I apologize in advance. The prompt is at the bottom.

Words: 1364

Part 1

It’s an out of body experience when you die. You remember how you died you just don’t remember how you got here. It’s been a while that much you can tell. Your husband and your sons are all at home. And they’re all dressed in black.

You try talking to them, but they don’t hear you. Jason is beating the punching bag and his knuckles are bloody and raw; you beg him to stop, but he doesn’t.

Tim is typing away on his keyboard. You can tell that from his eyes that he hasn’t slept in days. You beg him to stop, but he doesn’t.

Dick is running, his feet are pounding against the treadmill, as though he’s trying to outrun your death. His legs are shaking, and from what the timer says, he’s been on that damn treadmill for hours now. You beg him to stop, but he doesn’t.

Damian is just sitting on his bed, in the middle of his destroyed room. Lamps are broken, sheets have been torn, and there are punch marks in the walls. You beg him to say something, but he doesn’t.

You go to Bruce last; he’s in your shared bedroom, lying on the bed. He has one of your shirts clutched to his face. You can just make out the black and blue bruises covering his body. He’s been in fights, multiple fights. You kind of just sink to the floor, and if you could have cried, you would have.

The cries of a baby pull you from your thoughts. You move towards the bassinet in the corner, and you smile down at the baby there. You stick out your hand and try to stroke his cheek, but this form won’t allow that. You try cooing at him, and you seem to get his attention.

A moment later you’re proven wrong, as Alfred walks through you to reach the baby. He bounces the baby until he stops crying, and finally turns to Bruce and says, “Miss Y/N would be so disappointed in you. Not caring for the one piece of her that lives on. Instead you go into bars and fight. What would she say?”

Bruce’s voice is barely above a whisper, “She’d tell me I’m being a jackass, and to man up and be a father; to pull the family together and be there for our kids. And if she were here I’d do anything she asked, but she’s not, so it doesn’t matter.”

The butler doesn’t say a word as he sweeps out of the room. You lie down next to your grief stricken husband, and you watch as he drifts asleep.

You wake up in a white room, and you here your name being called. You face a man you don’t know and all he says is, “This is your chance to say goodbye. Not many get this chance, use it wisely.”

Then suddenly you’re in the meadow behind the manor. The sun is shining, and your entire family is there. They’re all rather quiet as you sit down; their faces all turn towards you. Damian doesn’t even hesitate as he launches himself into your arms. You catch him with ease.

You stroke his hair, and when no one speaks, you decide to. “I’m here to say goodbye.” You can see the protests on their mouths and you hold up a hand to stop them, “I don’t want to, but I have to. I need to know that you guys are going to be okay. That you’re going to stop working yourselves to death, that you’ll eat right, that you’ll make time for the family. I need to know that you guys are going to stick together.”

There’s some sort of quiet agreement and you turn to Dick, and pull him in for a hug. His arms wrap tight around you and you stroke his hair, “I need you to land on your feet, baby bird. I need you to help your dad, I need you to smile, I need you to be that light you always are. It doesn’t have to be right away, but if you start to feel happy I want you to embrace that. It’s okay to be happy.” He nods before kissing your cheek, and pulling away.

Jason is next. You take his face in your hands and kiss his forehead. “Stay strong, big bird. Help keep the family safe, don’t let anyone do anything stupid. Keep an eye on Damian in particular. Don’t let your dad go off his path. The Batman still has work to do.”

He nods and says, “I promise, Ma.”

You pull Tim into your side, “I’m begging you Timmy, eat right, don’t spend so much time in front of a computer screen, and get at least five hours of sleep at night. Promise me, Timothy.”

“Yes mam, I promise.”

You kiss his cheek, “I love you, baby bird.”

You pull Damian into your lap, “This is not your fault lil’ bird.”

He interrupts you, “It was my mother who …”

You nod, “It was Talia, not you Damian. You, lil’ bird, have a good heart. And you’re following a good path. Stick to that path, be the hero that the world needs you to be. Promise me.”

He buries his face in your neck and says, “I promise.”

You look at your sons and say, “Let yourselves be loved, and please love others. Pain is a part of life, but it is only one small part. If you’re too focused on it, you miss the happy things.”

They each give you a smile before they each vanish, leaving only you and Bruce. You wait for him to speak, “I’m always left behind.”

You smile and say, “No, I’ll wait for you.” You climb into his lap and cherish the feeling of his arms wrapping around you for the last time, “In the meantime,  time I need you to live. Live the life I can’t. Be a father to our kids. Be there to tell Benjamin about me. Smile when you tell those stories. Be happy when you remember me Bruce Wayne, because I was always happy when I was with you.”

“Don’t leave me,” He pleads.

You can actually feel the tears streaming down your face now, “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to leave our boys. I want to leave our newest son. But we don’t get that choice Bruce. I need you to promise me that you’ll live. Take time to mourn, but please don’t let it consume you.”

You kiss him, and when you pull back you place your forehead against his, he holds you tight, “I promise.”

“Good, now make sure you still do Christmas big, and invite the League over for Thanksgiving, watch the fireworks on Fourth of July, have a picnic in the summer. Do fun things, Bruce, love life. For me.”

  He nods as you start to disappear, and says, “I promise. I love you.”

  You just smile and say, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you forever, as long as I’m me, my husband you’ll be.” And with that you begin to fade.

Bruce wakes with a start to find his boys surrounding his bed. Sitting up he notices Dick holding Benjamin, and holds out his arms for his youngest son. Dick hands him over without a complaint as the boys all climb on the bed. There are several moments of silence before Tim asks, “Did you see her too?”

“In the meadow?” He asks.

They all nod, and he just laughs, “She found a way to say goodbye.”

  “You really think it was her?” Damian asks.

Bruce smiles, “I wouldn’t put it past her, when it comes to her family nothing is impossible.”

Jason nods before holding out a book, “Alfred gave us this. He says Mom made it a few weeks ago.”

The title stares up at Bruce and he reads it out loud, “I’ll love you forever.”

He opens the cover and your voice comes out as it reads the first line, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like your for always, your mommy I’ll forever be.” And the last line finishes with, “I love you, my big bat and little Robins. Forever.”

AN: Not going to lie, I cried a bit as I wrote this.

Prompt: Batmom Dies


Here is a small fic in which Bucky and the Reader make a very big decision. I know I’ve been writing a lot of really angsty stuff lately, so I thought that maybe some fluff was in order!!!

If you have any feedback let me know!




You sat peacefully with Bucky, listening to music on the radio. You were reading a book, and he was clutching on to the newspaper for dear life.

Obviously he needed to talk to you about something, but wasn’t sure how to broach the topic.

“James, sweetheart, what’s bothering you?” you asked, placing your book face up on your lap, to keep your place.

Bucky’s face paled, and you got a little worried, but waited patiently for him to speak.

“Well… we’re engaged now, right? And we’re getting married in a few months,” he began a little awkwardly.

You nodded with a warm smile.

“Well, I thought maybe we should talk about… I mean, I don’t want to pressure you into… what do you think about…?”


“Ah, yeah… kids.”

“I love kids James,” you placed your book on the coffee table, and moved a little closer to Bucky.

“Really, you do?” Bucky asked, relieved. “So, does that mean that you want kids?”

“I always thought I would want kids, if I found a man who could be a good father to them. I never thought that I would find that man. And here you are, sitting on our couch, talking to me about having kids.”

“Is that a yes?” Bucky asked, putting an arm around your shoulders.

“Yes James,” you smiled, “I want to have children with you. You’d be an amazing father.”

Bucky laughed happily.

“Our kids are going to be so lucky (Y/N), because they’re going to have the best mum in the world.”

You felt a flood of happiness as he said those words. You had never expressed out loud how terrified you were of being a parent. You didn’t have the best role models. Your mother had never been abusive to you, but she had never been the supportive mother that you had wanted. You couldn’t really blame her, of course, but deep down you had always wondered why she hadn’t done everything she could to protect you.

“I don’t know about that. I’ve never… I don’t know what a normal mother is,” you replied gently.

“You don’t have to be a normal mother. Just be the kind of mother you wished that you had. Be as kind and caring and fun and curious as you are now, and you’ll be the best mum,” Bucky replied, kissing you on the forehead.

Everything that he said made sense, but you still had your doubts.

“Good luck to them though when they try to sneak out, or lie about something. They’ll never get it past you,” Bucky chuckled.

“They’ll hate me in their rebellious phase,” you sighed.

“Maybe, but they will learn to appreciate you when they really need your support. And not just because of your abilities.”

You both grew quiet. You had made an important, life changing decision together. And while you were still anxious about it, you were also excited. If you weren’t anxious, then you weren’t doing it right, you were sure plenty of mothers would say.

“James?” you asked.


“Did you go through a rebellious phase?”

Bucky laughed. “Well, when I was a teen, I did get into a lot of fist fights. To be fair though, Steve started them. So, if you want to be technical, I went through Steve’s rebellious phase.”

You laughed with your fiancé, imagining both Bucky and Steve as teenagers, getting into all sorts of mischief together. And you realised that, with them both around, supporting your children, then no matter how scared you were, it would all be ok.

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In all the time you’d known him, all the battles you’d faced and cases you’d taken together, you’d never seen Cas look so tired as he did when you arrived back home. 

“Did you guys have a good time with dad…” you trailed off, taken back both by Cas crashing into you, holding you in a vice-like hug, and by the mess that greeted your eyes.

“You’re home,” Cas breathed, relief evident in his voice. “They wanted to help make a welcome back dinner for you and I left the room for two minutes and…”

“Wow. Uh–maybe–maybe next time Sam and Dean need help, you can pop over there,” you said. “We’ll take turns.” Cas didn’t say anything, but you felt him nod, still holding you as if afraid he would be left alone with your tiny terrors if he let you go for a second.

x x x


“Don’t get me wrong,” her father said, “She’s our kid and we love her, but she’s wasting her life and for what? Hunting?” He shook his head, his arms crossed over his chest. “We can’t condone that.”

Condone?” Sam repeated, “You know what? I’ve heard enough. I get it - hunting isn’t exactly a career,” he admitted, “But that’s not what this is about! She’s your daughter - and she’s an adult. It’s not up to you to condone her actions or not. It’s not up to you to condition your acceptance of her based on what she chooses to do with her life,” he said, his voice raising with every syllable, “She wakes up every day not knowing whether or not she’ll have the next one. 

“She puts her life at risk with every step she takes because she believes she’s doing the right thing - saving people, making the world a better place,” he continued, “And you know what she says, when she’s hurt? Or when she really believes we might be hitting a dead-end? She asks about you. She asks us to take care of you if things go sideways.

“After you’ve abandoned her - after you’ve decided you no longer want her. She still thinks about you. What has she ever done to you, huh? Aside from making a decision about her life?”

They both stayed silent, exchanging disturbed glances.

“She doesn’t deserve this,” he muttered, standing up, “And, honestly? You don’t deserve her.”

[Switch to male reader under the cut]

Keep reading

Unexpected - Jason x Reader

Prompt: Hello dear 💜 could I request a oneshot or drabble (whatever you want it’s fine by me 😊) for Jason x Reader with the prompt “I’m just as fucked up as you are” (reader says that to Jason) thank you 😊 (requested by anon)

Shit.” You whispered under your breath as you stared at the positive pregnancy test like it was ushering in the apocalypse on a flaming steed.

Come to think of it that just might be an accurate description.

Your mind started to race a mile a minute. You weren’t ready to become a parent. Hell, you were pretty sure that you would never be ready. You didn’t exactly have what you would call a nurturing childhood and you were terrified of the possibility that couldn’t provide anything much better to any child of yours. And Jason.

Holy fuck! What is Jason going to think about all of this? The two of you had only been together for a little over a year and you’ve yet to talk about if you even want to have children. You had no earthly idea how he might respond to this.

“[Y/N]? What’s the matter? Are you alright?” Jason worriedly asked seeing you standing in the bathroom with a petrified look on your face. You silently shook your head, the words you wanted to say refusing to surface. Tears started to to spring to your eyes and you began to sob uncontrollably. You weren’t an emotional person as a general rule so you breaking down like this set off red flags for Jason

Jason took you in his arms and just held you softly stroking your hair as your tears stained his shirt.

“You need to tell me what’s wrong [Y/N].” Jason whispered softly not breaking the embrace.

“I’m pregnant Jay. I’m pregnant and I’m freaking the fuck out.” You cried feeling another bout of anxiety crawl up your chest. Jason stiffened and his face froze in terror. “Please say something Jay.” You pleaded after many painful moments of silence.

“Fuck [Y/N].” Jason breathed out, stress lacing his tone.

“What are we going to do Jay?” You whispered against his chest, holding him closer to you.

“I don’t know [Y/N].” He responded resting his cheek against the top of your head. “Fuck, we’re young and stupid and reckless. I love you so fucking much [Y/N] but I’m terrified that I won’t be a good father to our kid. Not with the fucked up life that I’ve had. I don’t want to ruin some poor kid’s life.” He confessed with tears starting to brim in his eyes.

“Fuck.” He repeated in frustration, wiping the moisture from his eyes. He dropped down to his knees and rested his forehead against your stomach, trying to regain control of his emotions.

“Jay, I’m just as fucked up as you are. I have no idea how to fucking raise a kid but I don’t think I can do this without you. Please don’t leave.” You pleaded. He slowly shook his head against your stomach.

“Never.” He promised. He looked back up at you and you placed your hand against his cheek and gave him a watery smile, still sobbing slightly. “Whatever you want [Y/N], it yours. I’ll support you no matter what.” He swore, his gaze reaching your soul. You dropped down on your knees to his level and gave him a hug.

“Even if I want to keep it?” You ask in a small voice.

Especially if you want to keep our kid.” He promised passionately. “I love you so much [Y/N] and if this is what you want I’m going to try my god damn hardest to be the best fucking father that kid could ever have. I promise you that.” He took your face in his hands. You threw your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a deep passionate kiss.

“So together then?” You ask.

“Together.” He promised.

Anyone Can Be A Dad

Originally posted by beallamy

daddy!luke makes me feel so many emotions like he’d be soooo adorable with kids so i just had to write this i hope you enjoy x

Though Luke would disagree, I swear I’m the lucky one. I’ve had my fair share of awful exes, including Jessie, the father of my daughter Ali. After the first few months, he never really treated me right, but when I told him I was pregnant he couldn’t handle it. He threw away the two years we shared, all because he “wasn’t ready to be a dad”. So I had to raise Ali on my own. But a year later, I went on a blind date with Luke because my friend Lindsay and her boyfriend Michael said Luke and I would hit it off as soon as we met. And going on a date with a complete stranger ended up being the best decision I’ve ever made. He was super sweet, we got along really well, and best of all he loved the fact that I had Ali, because he really wanted kids of his own.

Fast forward about four years, we were now as close as ever. Ali loves Luke and even though she still has visitation with her actual dad, she has called Luke Dad since she was two. And still to this day, every time she calls him that he gets the biggest grin on his face. And he can’t wait until our three-month-old Mason can talk so he can call him Dad too. Luke knows how to give Ali enough attention so that she’s not jealous of her brother, and when I’m breastfeeding or Mason and I need some rest, he’s quick to suggest Ali play dress up or tea party with him. He even wears a tiara and tutu because when they play, he’s Princess Luke and she’s Queen Ali. He tried to call her Princess Ali once and she sassily corrected him. They spend a lot of time together, so you could definitely say she’s a Daddy’s girl.

We were sat on the couch, Ali in between Luke and I and Mason starting to dose off on my chest as I patted his back. We were watching Bubble Guppies because Ali adores that show, and the episode that was on was one we had seen at least a hundred times. Luke and Ali would sing along to the songs when they came on, which was honestly too cute. Though he won’t ever admit it, I know he likes the show almost as much as she does. I looked down and Mason and saw that he had finally fallen asleep, so I gently got up from the couch, careful not to wake him.

“I’m going to go lay him down,” I told Luke. He nodded, too engrossed by the tv to give me a proper reply. I shook my head.

Shortly after laying Mason down and going back to the living room the show had ended.

“Ooh, Daddy can we go play on the swings? You said we could later and I think it’s later now.” Ali asked.

Luke pretended to check his watch. “Hmm, actually we have about ten more minutes until later.”

“But Daaaddy, I wanna go nowww.” Ali whined, holding Luke’s wrist and trying to pull him up off the couch.

“Now Ali, you know whining’s not allowed.” He lightly scolded.

Ali sighed, “Can we please go swing now?” She gave him puppy dog eyes, which always worked on him and she knew that well.

“Okay, we’ll go swing.” He smiled.

“Yay!” Ali said, running towards the back door and pulling Luke behind her.

I got up to get a drink, when my phone started ringing. I looked at the screen but didn’t recognize the number. Curious to know who it was, I answered.


“(Y/n), it’s Allen, Jessie’s friend.”

“Um, okay? What do you want?” I asked, confused as to why he was calling me. Jessie and I rarely spoke, and if we did it was strictly about Ali. Much less one of his friends I barely even knew.

“You need to tell your douche of a boyfriend to get his shit together.” Allen said.

“Excuse me?” I raised my voice. “First of all, he’s my fiancé and second why the hell would you say that?”

I heard the back door slide open and I turned to see Luke entering the house. He saw the pissed off look on my fave and knew something was up.

“He needs to stop acting like he’s Ali’s father when he isn’t. Why would you let her call him Dad? That’s not right, (Y/n) and you know it.” Allen spoke up.

I scoffed, “Please. Like I’m going to tell Ali to stop calling Luke Dad. She was the one that wanted to call him that, we didn’t force her to do it! Plus, she sees Luke everyday, and only sees Jessie a few days a month. So technically, Luke is her father.”

“Who is that?” Luke whispered.

“Jessie’s friend, Allen.” I rolled my eyes.

Luke held out his hand and I gave him the phone. He put it on speaker as I walked towards the back door to keep an eye on Ali.

“Hey, mate, mind telling me why you’re disrespecting my fiancé?” Luke said.

“Because I knew it would get back to you.” Allen laughed.

“Well listen here, I don’t know why you and Jessie have nothing better to do than sit around and talk shit about me, but you need to get a hobby because it needs to stop.” He demanded.

Allen laughed more. “Ooh, Mister Hollywood thinks he can treat people however he pleases just because he’s in some shitty band. You listen here, you don’t want to mess with me, pal.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “This isn’t about you or me, this is about Ali. I may not be her biological father, but I’m still a better father than Jessie will ever be. Anyone can be a dad, but not everyone can be a father. Hell, he proves that statement true everyday. I’ve sacrificed tons and do whatever it takes to be the best father I can be, things he’s never done for her. So I don’t deserve either of you guys’ shit. I might not have been there since the very beginning, but neither has he. But I’ll damn sure be the one to help raise her until she’s an adult. Now, go tell your mate that he needs to stop being a coward and fight his own battles, not make his punk ass friends do his bidding.”

The phone was quiet for a few seconds before Allen spoke again. “Whatever man, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. Jessie will be pissed when he hears about this.”

“I hope he is,” Luke chuckled. “That would mean he knows I’m right. Goodbye, Allen.”

He hung up my phone and gave it back to me. I looked at him in amazement, which caused a confused look to appear on his face.

“What’s up?” He asked me as I wrapped my arms around him.

“You’re the best,” I told him.

“Well, thanks. I was just doing my job.” He shrugged.

I smiled up at him. “And you do it well. I’m so lucky I have you. You’re an amazing father to our kids. I couldn’t ask any more of you. Thank you so much for everything you do for us.”

“Aw, you don’t have to thank me.” He cooed as he hugged me. “I love you guys more than anything. If anyone deserves thanks, it’s you. You gave me two beautiful children and I am so thankful for the three of you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’re going to make me cry.” I admitted, pulling away enough to look at him.

“Don’t do that, then I’ll cry. And then Ali will be super confused and think we’re insane.” He joked.

I laughed at him. “She probably already does.”

Luke placed his hand on my cheek. “I love you so much, (Y/n).”

“I love you too, Luke.” I said and he leaned down and kissed me.

“Ew, gross!” We heard Ali say, turning towards her to see her sticking her tongue out at us in disgust.

“Ali, sweetie, it’s not gross.” Luke told her. “It means your Mum and I love each other a lot.”

Ali shook her head. “Nope, it means you’re both icky.”

We both started laughing, then heard a familiar cry coming from down the hall.

“I guess Mason’s up.” I announced.

“Let me get him,” Luke offered. “ I need some father-son time.”

I obliged and he headed down the hall. I sat on the couch, Ali sliding the back door shut and joining me.

“Mommy, why do you love Daddy enough to kiss him?” Ali asked curiously.

I smiled at her. “Because he loves us very much and would do anything for us.”

Her eyes got wide with excitement. “Like fight monsters?”

“Yep, he’d fight all the monsters in world for us. He actually just fought one while you were outside.” I explained.

Just then, Luke came back into the living room, carrying a very “talkative” Mason.

“Daddy, Mommy said you fought a monster when I was outside. Is that true?” Ali asked.

Luke looked at me, giving me a look as if to say he appreciated my joke.

“I did actually,” Luke played along, sitting on the couch. “He thought he could take me, but he was no match for King Luke.”

“Princess Luke!” Ali corrected, earning a loud laugh from me.

Luke looked at me sheepishly, then said, “Right, I meant Princess Luke.”

thanks for reading i hope you liked it! i might turn this into a series but i’m not sure, if you want me to then make sure to request it as well as any other ideas you might have requests are always open x

MFW guys and their child’s first day of school

Ayame pranced along her father on stubby little legs, hair braided and a new backpack adorning her small form. A careless confidence graced her steps and she skipped towards her first day of school.
“I’m going to make so many new friends!” Saeki beams down at his daughter happily.
“I’m sure you will.”

“Don’t cry, Kiyomi.” Takao murmured as he kissed his daughter’s forehead, shifting the three-year-old in his arms. “You’ll get to go soon enough.”
Norio was lecturing his younger brother.
“Remember, always ask before you run to the bathroom. Be polite to missus.” He was a returning student this year, and he took it upon himself to ‘educate’ Masao on everything related to school.
Takao smiles at his sons and embraces them quickly. The joy and wonder of watching his children grow is ever growing, and now that his second son is going to school, he felt pride glow warmly in his chest.

“Look at you two all ready to start the worst years of your life.” Yamato embraces his twins and chuckles. They look up at him nervously. Masaru scrunched up his face, suddenly quite nervous.
“It’s going to be bad?” Michiko sounded anxious, her small voice trembling.
“Nah, you’ll make friends. I’m just joking.” He grins and pats his daughter’s head. “Don’t worry, the first years will be all fun.”

Yuta was laughing as hard as his son as they walked hand in hand.
“It will be so fun.” He promised, and ruffled Etsuko’s curls. His son grinned up at him. “Tell me all the funny things that happen!”
The child grinned up his father, a small version of his own face.
“I will, daddy!”

Kunihiko laughed as his sons bickered beside him as they walked to school.
“I will NOT cry for mommy.” Tsutomu growled at his older brother. “I’m not a crybaby.”
“Yes you are. I’ll be surprised if you make it through without crying.” The ten year old smirked down smugly.
“That’s enough, Toshio.” He gives his firstborn a light smack on the head. “Don’t scare your little brother.” He smiled at his boys, feeling a familiar melancholic feeling in his stomach, same as the day Toshio first went to school. It was a strange feeling, being a father, a dad, a caretaker to these two small copies of him. Strange indeed, but remembering all the memories linked with the children, Kunihiko couldn’t imagine any other way he would want his life to be.

They had stopped to admire some late blooming flowers, pink and orange petals so captivating as they lost track of time.
Aina had inherited -if that were even possible- his love of plants. Ren loved explaining every detail to her, and she soaked up the information happily.
“Your mother will kill me!” He scooped up his daughter and bolted for the school, blonde hair flying.

“There comes Aina.” Yamato smirks at his running friend. “Ren’s lagging behind again, as always.”
“His work is quite the stressing one.” Takao smiles, running a spare hand through his hair as he remembers some of the tougher cases. Ren came running up to them, skidding to a stop and placing his daughter on the ground.
“A dramatic entry indeed.” Saeki laughed. “How late did you stay up ‘watering plants’ that you almost miss little sweetie’s first school day?”
Green eyes glared at him.
“At least they’re not late.” Kunihiko points out. “It’s just about time to go in.”
Norio was already half way up the staircase, Masao running after him eagerly.
“Gosh Takao.” Yuta shoves him in the shoulder. “Do your kids ever have fun? They’re always so uptight and beyond their age.”
Masaru and Ayame were giggling about something, and his twin sister was clinging onto the hand of their father, whining at the lack of attention from her brother.
“Hey hey hey, get the mini Yamato away from my angel.” Saeki scowled. “Come on, Ayame. Time to start school.” He calls out for the girl, and she waves from a distance.
“Nah, Masaru has better taste than that.” Yamato shot back at his friend. Prying his daughter off his arm, he kisses her head and sends her off running to the steps. Her brother scrambled after her, pulling a laughing Ayame behind him.
Aina was bent over the flower patch beside the staircase, sniffing at the large pink flowers.
“Aina.” Ren calls for her, and her blonde head snaps up. “Time to go.” A sad note crept into his voice as he watched her nod, smile, wave and race away up the stairs. Etsuko met her halfway along, and beckoned her over. Waving empty hands, he pulled a flower from his sleeve and handed it to her with a laugh.
“He’s always messing up that part.” Yuta sighs softly, eyes following his son into the school. “At least, it’s better than when he first tried.”
“They grow up fast, huh?” Kunihiko shrugs absentmindedly as he watched Tsutomu pull away from his hand and join his older brother. “I remember when Tosh was as small as a loaf of bread. Look at him, he’s already ten.”
“Don’t you feel your age now, huh Kuni?” Yamato comments, a contented smile against his lips.
“At least Takao still has one. That lucky daddy.” Yuta claps his friend on the shoulder. He touches Kiyomi’s cheek and the girl smiles sweetly. “I kinda wish I had a daughter too.”
“You could just grab your wife and convince her to have a few more.” Yamato winks.
“Don’t talk about that here.” Takao says quickly, adjusting his daughter in his arms. “Either way, the more kids you have, the more goodbyes you have to give.” He nuzzled Kiyomi.
“Want to come over and grab a drink?” Kunihiko readjusts his fedora. “Its been a while.”
“I think I need a nap.” Ren groans. “And tonight I have to document more fungi activity.”
“I’ll pass.” Yamato mumbles longingly. “I have to make and prep some tests.”
“There’s a section of script due tomorrow, and my honey wants me home early.”
“I would go, but you guys all seem busy.” Yuta sounded disappointed. “And papa Takao here probably needs to take Kiyomi home.”
“Maybe some other time then.” Kunihiko frowned sadly. “We need a baseball game and men’s drinking.” A dull hush fell over the group as they stood and reminisced the past.
“Good times, huh?” Yuta’s voice tore through the silence.
Gazing up at the school, Takao takes a deep breath. “Remember when we still went here?”
“Who would have known we’d be here now, lawyers and teachers and CEOs and fathers, sending our kids off to our old school.” Saeki chuckled and shook his head. “Time goes by too fast.”

Got two requests for this so I guess I’ll post earlier than schedule

The kids are so much fun to write~~
Hope you enjoyed!

Sehun Scenario - While Talking About Your Ideal Family You Let Something Slip

*GIFs Not Mine And Will Be Added Later When I Get To My Computer W/ GIFs…hehehe*

Scenario Masterlist

mymisstina said:

Can you write a fiction where you and Sehun are close friend and you’re talking about your ideal family? You mistakenly said something like you’d like to have a child with him instead of your future husband (you have a crush on him)? Thanks :)

This one killed me a bit…Oh Oh Sehun…*sighing wistfully*

“Oh they have a cute family.” You said as you watched a random TV movie with your best friend, Sehun. Really, he was your crush for a few years now but he, given how dense he could be sometimes, probably didn’t have much of a clue. You were leaning against his chest on couch because he’d been in brat mode and took up the whole couch himself and you hadn’t had other options (but you were perfectly ok with this situation because you got to be close to him). Sehun and you were close. Very close. Half the time you probably looked like you were a couple given the touchy nature of your friendship but you were all too aware of the fact you were not a couple.

“Eh…I guess so.” Sehunsaid straining his neck to look back at the TV from looking at his phone.

“You guess so? So what’s your ideal family?” You said turning yourself to look at him. He took a moment to collect his thoughts before he responded.

“My ideal family…Hmmm…. I guess I want a pretty wife.” He started.

“Oh sure, a pretty girl for a pretty guy. Is that all that matters?” You asked. He made a face at you.

“A) I am not pretty. B) No, of course that’s not all that matters. She has to be a good mother, caring, good cook, kind hearted.” He said before continuing with a list of similar qualities.

“That all sounds vaguely women-belong-in-the-kitchen-barefoot-and-pregnant.” You said and he again made a face at you.

“You know I don’t think like that.” He said and you gave him your own look. “I want a good wife, sure. But what I really want is a good person, capable of taking care of herself and others and smart.”

“Having fun digging yourself out of your own ditch?” You commented. His attitude sometimes rubbed off on you when you were together.

“Very funny. What about your ideal husband?” He said turning the tables triumphantly.

You froze for a moment – you couldn’t just blurt out his name. “My ideal husband…Uh…Someone I can talk to and rely on and who cares about me as a person.” You said and he cocked his head.

“That’s so vague.” He said with a pout.

“Yours was vague.” You replied.

“Fine, fine, fine…” He said waving his hand to dismiss that point.

“What about kids?” You asked. Suddenly, both of you got quieter. Somehow, this was more serious. Your thoughts too immediately wandered – what would Sehun be like as a father? What would he be like as the father of your kids?

“I don’t know if I could be a good father, you know. I’m so used to being the kid…How could I be the father?” He said leaning back and putting his hand over his face.

“I dunno…” You said in a soft voice. “I think you’d be a great father of our kids.”

You hadn’t noticed what you’d let slip until you watched his face. His expression froze for a moment before the stoic mask he usually showed the rest of the world but rarely showed you was covering all his thoughts – even his eyes offered no clue of this thoughts.

“Our kids?” He said in a low voice. You didn’t know how to explain it but that moment felt like he was about to reject you and then you’d lose him even as a friend – the very thing you had been afraid of all this time.

“I didn’t mean it like that…Just like, you’d be like a father to my kids, the kids I have with my husband. Not kids like ours, you and me.” You said trying to cover it up. He waved his hand as if to wave the bullshit you were saying away. He knew you well enough that he knew when you were lying.

“No…That’s not what you meant. You meant what you said. Why would you want kids with me?” He said, his brown eyes locked on yours. You had moved from being against him to being curled up at the other end of the couch, as if you were a child trying to hide from a giant in the corner of the room. 

Unfortunately for you, hiding from Sehun never had been something you were good at.

“Sehun…Just forget it…Please.” You said shaking your head as you tried to make yourself smaller.

“Y/N… You know I won’t be able to.”

“Just please…” You said covering your face in your hands.

“Y/N…It’s ok…It’s not like you were talking about me being the father of your children immediately. I’m just trying to understand where that came from.” He said soothingly. All you were thinking was that you wanted to run away, pretend this wasn’t happening…Pretend that everything would go back to normal tomorrow. Pretend. Just run away…

“I have a crush on you, ok!” You blurted before curling into an even tighter ball, one that wouldn’t come undone easily.

“Y/N.” He said, your brain was spinning too fast for you to notice how he said it.

“I have for a while…And when we were talking about ideal family I couldn’t help thinking of you and everything…And the father thing…I’m sorry…” You said desperately trying to explain yourself.

Then you heard his snicker.

“Are you seriously laughing at me right now?” You said snapping your head up to glare at him, many of your raw emotions turning into anger and frustration.

“Just laughing at how you’re apologizing. Silly.” He said holding his hand in front of his mouth while he continued to laugh.

“You are impossible!” You cried tossing a pillow at him.

“Hey!” He said, still chuckling as he reached to grab your wrists, holding them and not letting you hide behind them anymore.

“What?” You snapped.

“I see you’re not in the mood for rational conversation…” He said, with that big smile on his face – a smile you really just want to slap off right then. Before you could even retort, you felt something you weren’t expecting – Sehun’s lips against yours and any retort died in your throat along with the anger in your head, replaced by a mixture of confusion and elation.

“What…” You said with big eyes while you attempted to search his for answers as he pulled away.

“Are you ready to listen now?” He said and you nodded blankly. “I’ve liked you too…Just maybe we should take this slow…Kids can come later, when we’re ready, ok?” He said slipping his fingers lightly into your hair.

“What is this?” You asked still trying to put the pieces together in your hazy state.

“Oh this is now a relationship, not a friendship.” He said with a smug smile as his hand slipped around yours.

“And what gives you permission to just decide that?” You said, a retort finally coming out. He laughed.

“Oh just…You know…I figured you wouldn’t be opposed to it.” He said with a confident smirk.

“Brat.” You muttered. He just shrugged leaning in to kiss you again.

Full Confession:

Prior to playing Story of Seasons, I had a really hard time choosing who, between Raeger and Mistel, will I be wooing. When I got the game, I decided to woo them at the same time then decide later on who to marry. Then I encountered both of their purple flower events; I triggered Raeger’s last. That’s when I’ve decided I should go for him. First, he reminds me of the protagonists from earlier Harvest Moon games (having the farm -or in his case, the restaurant- passed down from your grandfather). Second, being his parents divorced and has no family in town, he needs someone to take care of him and be there for him. With his personality and cooking skills, I’m sure he’ll make a good husband (and father to our kids haha.)

Matt Imagine

“Can I have an imagine where your dating Matt but you sleep with Nash and Nash gets you pregnant please and thank you”

requested by anon


I look down at the test i have in my hand. I was not ready for what it had to show. Positive. 

How am i pregnant? I never thought this would happen and i surely don’t know how to tell Matt. I cry on my bed knowing that no one is home. A few minutes later, my door bursts open and comes in a worried Matt.

“What’s? Y/N? Is everything alright?” He asked 

I couldn’t say anything and I just shook my head.

“Are you getting hate from my friends again bc i swear-.” I cut him off. “No Matt, It’s not them. It’s something a little more serious.” He looked at me as to go on.

“I’m- I’m pregnant.” I said.

“W-what?” He barely got out.

I sat there on the bed looking at Matt’s reaction, shocked and don’t know how to react.

“I don’t know how you can be, we wore protection every single time. I’m sure of it.” He said.

Shit. Then i realized I slept with Nash a month ago. Oh god please don’t let it be his. I’m such a terrible person.

“Unless you slept with someone else.” He laughed as he just read my mind and i nervously smiled.

“Maybe the test was just wrong, sometimes that can happen. Ill just schedule an appt at the doctor.” I said still with a bit of a shake in my voice.

“Ill come with you.” Matt said.

“No that’s okay, ill go by myself.” I said, because I was really going to go over to Nash’s to talk.


I walked up to Nash’s door anxiously knocking at his door. Nash opens the door in his robe look tired.

“Oh hey Y/N. What are you doing here?” He asked.

“We need to talk.” I said.

“Well then speak.” He chuckled.

I lead us over to his couch and began to speak, “I’m pregnant.” And i was going to continue but Nash interrupted. 

“Jeeze you and Matt need to be more careful.” Nash laughed.
“Nash that’s not funny, and it’s not about us, it’s about me and you…” I said and his big blue eyes widened.

“No.” He softly yelled and stood up and ran his fingers through his hair and walked back and forth. “Shit.” “Omg Y/N.”

I was trying to keep my tears in because I know what I did was awful and Matt would never love me again. I was terribly drunk and made bad choices. But that’s no excuse.

“What are we going to do?” He asked. “Did you tell Matt?” 

“I have no idea Nash and no, i have not gotten there yet I wanted to come talk to you first.” I stated.

“Are you sure it’s not Matts?” He asked hopefully.

“Positive. Me and him always wear protection, he has a thing about that. And me and you, were drunk so..” I lead off.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry Y/N.”

“I wish we could re do that night over.” I said.

Me too.” Nash agreed.

“Well tell him before the baby comes so he doesn’t wonder why the baby looks like me..” He said.

“Yeah.. and Nash.. Even if we never get together, because i still love Matt and if he decides to leave me and we still never do. You promise to be a good father to our kid?” I asked.

“For sure.” He smiled. “I’m not going to let this ruin each other.

I went back home and every second I got more and more nervous and i tightly gripped the wheel. When i pulled into our driveway, i thought i was going to throw up.

I walked and Matt was already there, curious about my “doctors appt.”

“Hey how did it go?” He asked.

“Yeah about that…” I said. “Um we need to talk.”

“Oh god.” Matt said.

I sat down next to him at the island and took a deep breath.

“Remember that party i went to a Nash’s while you went back home to Virgina?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

I tried to keep tears back as I began the story, “Well I got really drunk and so did Nash, and he took me up stairs to his room and i think you know what happens next.” I explained.

Matt balled his hands into fists and couldn’t even look at me.

“It’s his.” I quickly acknowledged.

Matt just sat there lifelessly and tears coming out of the corner of his eye.

“Matt?” I asked.

He got up and grabbed his keys and walked out of the door and slammed it. And I don’t know if he’ll ever come back to me.

It Only Takes One Time (Part 31)

I’m really dumb and annoying but I love random shit and drama so here ya go.

Part 30

Warnings: I think there’s swearing Idk it’s late

 Before I knew it, four sweet weeks went by in a flash. Time was going so fast and for a moment I questioned how everything had slipped away so quickly. Realization then hit me like a fucking bus and I understood that it was because things had finally started to simmer down and calm themselves.

  The Dan and Phil household had developed a schedule. Besides the times when we had to, Dan and I hardly met eye to eye. Unless Phil or Liam was involved, we were hardly alone. It wasn’t that ‘bad’ this way since we were preventing further disputes or accidental romantic gestures.

 Whenever Dan wasn’t home, I took care of Liam. If I wasn’t home, he’d take the responsibility. It wasn’t a wonderful system, but it surely made things much more manageable.  I tried my best to ignore the annoyance I felt when Dan went over to see Marie. She didn’t come over often, but when she did I made sure that I had Liam or that at least Phil was in charge of him.

  I was trying to let go but I had yet to feel comfortable with Marie around my child. I honestly don’t think I could ever grow to accept her being involved as a mother figure. Well, at least with Liam being a baby still.

Phil and I were keeping things saccharine. We weren’t dating, because neither of us was exactly ready yet. We basically were still just friends who exchanged the odd kiss here and there.

It was my first day off in two weeks where I didn’t have to work, catch up on school, or really worry about anything.

Waverly and the girls had decided that this was my day to hang out with them and talk about everything. This meant no kids either. Stella got a babysitter while the rest of us just let the fathers take care of our kids.

It was nice that we could go out with no filter. Although we’d miss the kids, there was some comforting aspect about the idea that we all were  women out and about.

Well, except we weren’t out and about. We were at Waverly’s house sitting around and talking. Andrew had taken Ophelia to see his mother that Waverly couldn’t stand, and so we stayed in with her and had some nice adult banter.

“So, Y/N… How are things going with Phil?” Gemma asked from the couch, followed by a slight snicker. Her blue eyes seemed to be extra shiny that evening (probably from the red wine she was drinking) and that made her natural glow stand out more. “He’s really cute.”

“Yeah, you two were getting touchy at your party. Anything new happen?” Stella wiggled her eyebrows and poured a glass of wine herself. She was off breastfeeding and was taking the opportunity to drink a little bit and not feel guilty because Lucy was around. That night was all about unwinding and becoming closer in so many ways. I had nights like this with Catherine, but with these ladies I could relate more. Plus, they weren’t two faced bitches.

“Oh, you know… We’re not really doing much. We’re just really good friends is all.” I laid back on the living room couch and toyed with my the designs on my blouse. I was elated because I could finally fit in my clothes that I wore pre-pregnancy.

“Good friends? Hmm. Must be a hell of a friendship where you shove your tongues down each other’s throats.” Waverly grimaced down at her lap and let out a dramatic sigh “I don’t understand why you guys don’t just go on a date or something.”

“I’m not ready to go on a date with him yet. We’ve kissed a few times and yeah, it was nice but I can’t just go and marry him.” I mumbled back. My mouth felt dry as I spoke these words. In the long run, it was better for me to express how I felt with a group of women who would do their best with understanding. They were the only ones who supported my situation, no matter how annoying or unnecessary things got. This particular conversation made me feel a pang of guilt and I was unable to control it.

“Why? You need to make sure you’re not leading him on or else he’s going to feel really shitty. You should know better than anyone what that’s like.” I didn’t like that Waverly was lecturing me so hard core in front of the girls. I knew that my decisions would have their consequences but everything was so calm right now and I needed this drag out a little longer.

My phone started ringing before I could reply, and frankly I was thankful. I was going to say something snarky to Waverly. At least when I returned the conversation would change. I sat up and looked at the caller ID. To my dismay it was Dan.

“Excuse me.” I cleared my throat and walked into the hallway, quickly answering the call. “Hello? Dan?”

“Hey, Y/N.” Dan responded. “I just wanted to call in and see if you were alright. Liam just went to bed but I for some reason felt like I needed to call in and check.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Is everything alright at the apartment?” If I wanted to be an asshole, I would’ve responded with something sassy and reject his gesture of being ‘caring’ but it was surprisingly hard to. I missed talking to him one on one. We had our beef as a main course all the damn time, but sometimes we would have the simplest appetizer of a nice shrimp cocktail. Dan made me feel emotionally wrecked but sometimes I wondered if I just let myself get to that point. I was over dramatic and never tried to see the brighter side of things, when Dan tried; I shut him down.

Neither of us were properly equipped to go back and actually be friends but it’s not like we couldn’t pretend. I appreciated this phone call, although it may have seemed a little suspicious.

“Yes um everything is going good. Phil went out to go see a friend so it’s literally just me sitting on the couch.” Things were starting to make more sense.

“Aw, bless. Are you lonely, Mr. Howell?” I cooed into the phone. Dan was probably sitting in front of the TV with his laptop on his lap. His recent schedule with the baby, work, and his love life had left him in a constant of being surrounded by people. Now, on the rare events that he would be solo it would make sense that he’d feel the need to talk to somebody.

“No…” He muttered into the phone. “I’m just-here. Alone. Nobody to talk to. You know.” Dan’s voice was hushed and relaxed. He lowered his voice and now he sounded more… sexual.

“I figured you would’ve invited Marie over or at least FaceTime.” I shrugged, slowly pacing around the hallway.

“No. She’s out doing God knows what. I again, just felt the need to contact you. Sorry I’m interrupting your evening out. I should let you get back.” Dan announced following a shuffling noise.

“No! I mean-uh, what’s up? Are you sure you’re alright? If you need me to, I’ll come back home…” I didn’t know why I was offering. Besides our most recent conversation I was having a blast.

“No. Trust me, I’ll be alright. You just have a good time, okay? Take care, Y/N. I’ll see you later.” Dan yawned for a second and I heard the TV in the background turn off.

“Okay, see you, Dan.” I bit my lip into the phone. “Can I ask you one thing?” My impulse was beginning to take over and I knew I was no longer in the clear with this phone call.

“Yeah, what is it?” Dan asked. Suddenly I went quiet. He wasn’t making any noise either. I was frozen. My initial question was going to be what he meant when he told me that he wasn’t playing me but that he was playing himself. It was something that hadn’t been bothering me a whole lot, but I still wanted to hear a further elaboration at some point.

 I didn’t have a second to react when I felt my phone being ripped out of my hands.

“What the f-“ I started protesting but I was met with Waverly holding her finger up at me and putting the phone up to her ear.

“Please sleep tight, okay? Alright. Wonderful. See you in the morning.” Waverly hung up the phone and crossed her arms. She gave me a glare and shook her head.

“What?” I scoffed. “Why are you mad? You didn’t just get your phone taken away from you. You’re not my mum, Waverly.” I rolled my eyes and re-entered the lounge. Stella and Gemma awkwardly sat on the couch. Each of them gave me a stern look and now I was left puzzled.

“You can’t keep crawling back to him.” Stella whispered, inhaling a large amount of oxygen.

“What are you talking about? Who?” I sat on the couch and crossed my legs and arms. I didn’t want to get lectured so fiercely at the moment.

“Dan. We heard you on the phone with him. You sounded all lovey dovey and cheerful talking to him. We know you can’t always be unpleasant but you can’t constantly offer to be at his beck and call. Especially not when you’ve got little Phil wrapped around your finger.” Gemma stated. “You’re not helping yourself.”

“I’m not doing anything wrong. He’s the father of my kid, sometimes I have to be at his beck and call.” I shrugged, grabbing the pillow off to my right and hugging it.

“We understand that. But as soon as he told you everything was okay, you should’ve hung up. We don’t want you to keep getting hurt. The hard part is over. I’ll give Dan credit for stepping up, but you got pregnant after having sex once. Your commitment to each other is through your baby, not a relationship. You don’t even physically know each other. You barely know each other emotionally.” Waverly sounded exasperated.

“What’s your point?” I closed my eyes and tried my best to keep my composure.

“My point? You had sex with him once and you’ve had Liam. A child is a huge responsibility but nobody told you that you had to get married or fall in love. It is so much easier said than done, but try and realize that you two probably were never even attracted to each other. Some part of you thought that you had to be and he realized that before you did. That’s why things are the way they are now.”

“How do you know we only had sex once?” I looked back up at the three women. None of them had any readable facial expressions. They were probably trying to piece together everything from the information I’d previously provided.

“You’ve had sex more than once? When? Where?” Stella’s eyes widened. I didn’t think that any of the girls were mad at me, per say. I figured that they were more than likely just disappointed in me.

“You know the day at the park when Waverly invited me to meet you guys? Yeah, that morning. Right in his bed. After we got into an argument.” I shrugged. I didn’t realize that my body had begun to vibrate. I really hadn’t told a soul that I’d slept with him. The only other person who knew besides Dan and I, was Phil. Even then, I’m not sure he believed Dan.

I was expecting a different lecture, now that I’d steered the question into a completely different direction. However, the first question anyone asked came from Gemma.

“How was it?” She giggled, moving to the edge of her seat.

I gave a run through of how Dan and I ended up having sex to the girls, and they all seemed fascinated. That quickly changed when I told them about the conversation we had when we had finished. Then it went to what happened in Liam’s nursery after I’d gone to the grocery store.

It was a rollercoaster telling the story. How had I survived this when it happened? I felt dead as it went on, but I pitied myself even more now looking back.

Throughout my story time, I noticed Waverly was oddly quiet. This was strange. Typically she always had some comment to give but right now she didn’t.

“Waverly? You okay?” I spoke up, getting up and walking over to where she sat. I patted her back for a moment. She looked sickly pale and I thought she was probably sick from the alcohol she consumed. That seemed unlikely since she hadn’t really drank a lot.

“Yeah but…  You had sex with him a 5 weeks ago? Didn’t you say your period was late?”